Butterfly

by Sylvester Stephens

  “At school?” I shouted. “How do you escort at school?”

  “I have men come through the custodian’s room between two and three o’clock every day when the janitor is cleaning the gym. They give me my three-hundred dollars and I give them whatever they want for fifteen minutes.”

  “Are you for real?”

  “Hell yeah, I’m for real.”

  “So all I have to do is watch out and I get seventy-five dollars for every man that come through?”

  “Damn, you figured out that twenty-five percent out fast as hell, Butterfly.”

  “I don’t play with money, Janae.”

  Chapter Three

  The next day at school Janae and I met in front of the gym at two o’clock on the dot. When Mr. Moore, the custodian, went into the gym, Janae gestured for me to follow her in front of the custodian’s room. She looked both ways and then opened the door.

  “Stay here. If you see Mr. Moore comin’ down the hall, don’t call my name; call my phone! I just put a new ringtone on especially for you.”

  “Okay.”

  Janae walked in, and then closed the door behind her. I opened a book like I was reading it so that if anybody passed by, I would not look suspicious. Ten minutes later, Janae peeked through the door.

  “You cool?”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” I answered.

  “I got this other dude pulling up outside now. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Okay, I got this out here.”

  “A’ight.”

  Janae closed the door and went back inside. Whoever the next guy was must have been putting it down right because I could hear Janae moaning loud and clear. I pulled out my cell phone and called her on speed dial.

  “Somebody comin’?” Janae was breathing hard and I could hear the man in the background still doing his thing.

  “No, but I can hear you out here making all that noise.”

  “For real?”

  “Yeah, lower the volume, man.”

  “Oh, okay,” Janae moaned. “Oh shit!”

  “Janae! Be quiet!” I whispered sternly.

  “Okay! Okay! But this niggah feel good!”

  “Bye!” I hung up the phone.

  I looked left and right down both hallways and the coast was still clear. Janae peeked through the door again. This time she was breathing hard and her pants were not pulled up all the way to her waist.

  “That’s a quick six hundred dollars.” Janae was completely out of breath.

  “Just like that?”

  “Yup! Just like that!” Janae’s cell phone rang and she looked down at it. “And it’s about to be nine hundred!”

  Janae closed the door and went back to her business. Two more men came before she left out for good. She slipped me three-hundred and seventy-five dollars and we walked away as if nothing had happened. As we were leaving Mr. Moore was coming toward us. Janae played it so smoothly I could tell she was used to the game.

  Keisha walked up from behind and playfully pushed Janae. “So did you make that money?”

  “Hell yeah! Fifteen hundred dollars!” Janae said. “I had to give Butterfly her cut, though. That could have been you, niggah!”

  “Naw, I’m cool.”

  “I ain’t no joke!”

  “Let’s go to the mall, y’all,” I suggested.

  “How we gon’ get there?” Janae asked.

  “I can get my grandparents’ Caddy,” I said.

  “I got about twelve hundid dollars in my pocket so let’s ride!” Janae shouted.

  We picked up Toya and Jacqua and went to Greenbriar Mall. We spent almost all of the money we had made in a matter of a few hours. And as much as Keisha did not want us to do what we did, she had no problem helping us spend the money.

  I ended up being Janae’s lookout for the next two months until the police pulled a sting operation and busted some of her clients. I thank God that Keisha was looking out for me on that day. She had a strong feeling that something bad was going to happen, and she kept nagging me until I said I agreed not to be the lookout. Toya took my spot, but she did not get caught. Once she saw what was going down, she did not warn Janae or anything; she just ran.

  The scandal was on television, but because they were minors, Toya’s and Janae’s names were not released through the media. However, the men’s faces, names, occupations, everything, was on the news, and in the newspaper. Those guys ended up doing some serious time, but Janae was only expelled and given probation. You can believe I left that shit alone after that. If the Powells would have found out, they would have been crushed! They had so much faith in me and I was betraying them.

  Janae had to come up with another hustle to make money, so she let some boys talk her into being their “fight girl.” A fight girl was a female bully the high school boys betted on to fight other girls who had a reputation for being bullies. I watched Janae kick so many girls’ asses I felt sorry for them. She would pulverize them to the point where the boys would have to pull her off of them. They would record the fights and put them on the Internet. That hustle was cut short when one of the girls filed assault charges against her. Janae ended up spending some time in the juvenile home but only like a month or two.

  One afternoon, I skipped school with Keisha, Toya and Jacqua to go to a Braves afternoon game. We went just to be going. We didn’t know anything about the Braves or who played for them. I know I didn’t, anyway. The game started at one o’clock, so I thought that if we left early, I would have plenty of time to drop everybody off and get home without being late. I got stuck in the afternoon traffic and it went downhill from there.

  There was an accident and we had to sit still for an hour. When we finally started moving, I started speeding. Once I dropped everybody off, I really started flying then. I ran through red lights, ignored stop signs, and I think I hit a couple of mailboxes on the way home, but I made it safely. I went to the living room for my sermon, but instead of Reb, Ma was there waiting on me. I didn’t know what to expect from Ma because she was not the disciplinarian of the family.

  She was sitting with the telephone in her hand and a blank look on her face. I assumed she had been calling me, but I had purposely cut my phone off so that they would not have to ask questions until I got home. I sat impatiently and waited for my sentence.

  “Ma, I’m sorry for coming in late, uh, I got lost. I did not have any bars on my phone, so I could not receive any phone calls and...”

  “Shante?” Ma interrupted me and closed her eyes. “Reb just went into cardiac arrest at the church and they had to call an ambulance.”

  “Come on, let’s go! Let’s go to the hospital! Where he at?”

  I stood up and held Ma by the hand. She pulled her hand from mine and then dropped it on her lap. “It’s too late, baby. He’s gone.”

  “Gone where, Ma?”

  “He didn’t make it, baby.”

  I collapsed to my knees and put my head in Ma’s lap and I cried like a newborn baby. She patted my back and tried to console me. “Shh! Shh!”

  I wiped my eyes and said, “I need to see him, Ma. I need to tell him good-bye.”

  “All right, sweetheart, all right.” Ma sighed.

  I think Ma was in shock. She was totally emotionless. We drove to the hospital but when we got to Reb’s room, I was afraid to enter. I stopped at the door and began to back up. Ma held my hand and tried to guide me in.

  “You okay, baby?” Ma asked.

  “I...I...I...I can’t go in there.”

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t want to see him like that, Ma.”

  “It’s okay, baby.”

  I gripped Ma’s hand as tight as I could and we walked through the door. Reb was lying peacefully on the bed. He looked younger, like some of the wrinkles on his face had disappeared.

  “Ah, he looks so handsome, doesn’t he?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I rubbed Reb’s face and then kissed him on the forehead. “I
love you, old man.”

  I sat beside Reb as other people came to the hospital to say their good-byes. Their condolences gave me strength. So much so, I did most of the planning for Reb’s funeral. Their son, Stanley, flew in and helped me with a few details, but all in all, I did everything myself. He was grateful and thanked me for taking care of his parents and looking after them. I made it perfectly clear that it was them who needed to be thanked for taking care of me.

  Reb was a well-loved man because there was a huge turnout for his sendoff. There were so many ministers requesting to speak at his funeral, we had to turn some down. I thought that Sparkle would show up to offer her condolences to the family since she was so close to them, but she was a no-show.

  I was so devastated by the loss of Reb, I cried from the time I found out he died until we laid him in the ground. But throughout it all, I did not see or hear Ma cry one single time. Not until the night I woke up in the middle of the night and I walked past her bedroom to get to the bathroom. Her light slipped beneath the bottom of her bedroom door, which never happened, and so I knocked.

  “Ma, you okay?” Ma did not answer so I knocked on the door again. “Ma, everything all right in there?”

  “Yeah, baby, I’m fine.”

  “Can I come in, Ma?”

  “Uh-huhn.”

  I walked in and Ma had a box of tissue on the bed with her. Judging by the number of used tissues, she had been crying a lot.

  “Aw, what’s the matter, Ma? You thinking about Reb?”

  “Yeah, I’m having a conversation with him now.”

  “Oh-kaaaay,” I said as I looked around the room.

  “I don’t mean like that, crazy!” Ma chuckled. “I got to figure out how I’m going to take care of you.”

  “No, Ma, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

  “No, baby, I have to find somebody to help take care of you because I just can’t do it all by myself.”

  My heart was broken. My dream of finally having a family was coming to a screeching halt. I loved Ma, and I did not want to leave her.

  “Please don’t make me leave, Ma!”

  “What are you talking about, child?”

  “I don’t want to leave you. I love you!”

  “Baby, I love you, too! I don’t want you to leave, but you are my responsibility and if I can’t take care of you properly, I have to find help.“

  “I can take care of myself, Ma. Just don’t make me leave!” I kneeled on the side of her bed and put my head in her lap.

  “Get up off of that floor right now and get in this bed!” I slid into the bed with Ma and cried. “Listen to me child, I love you like you’re my own flesh and blood, and I would never make you leave. Never! But I received two letters this week and I think they are God’s way of telling me what we should do.”

  “Two letters? What letters?”

  “I received a letter from my son and he asked me to come out West, so that he could take care of me.”

  “Oh, I understand.”

  “Hush it up! I told him that I would only come if I could bring you with me.”

  “And what did he say?”

  “He said, yes.”

  I was so excited that I jumped out of the bed without even realizing it. “He did? I can come with you?”

  “Wait a minute now; that was only the first letter.”

  “Oh, Lord,” I said, slumping back down in the bed.

  “The second letter I received was from the Georgia Department of Human Resources, and they said they have located your father in prison through a Doctor Johnson Forrester. He’s a friend of your father. That’s what I was in here discussing with my husband. Should I, or should I not tell you about the letter? I guess I’m being selfish by wanting to keep you all to myself. But I can’t help it. I love you.”

  “My dad? What did he say?”

  Ma took her time answering but finally she said, “The letter said that on behalf of your father’s request, and a promise that he made to your father, Dr. Forrester, uh, he wants to talk to you about visiting your father.”

  “Oh my God! Of course I want to see my dad! I can’t believe this!”

  “Then we’ll call them tomorrow and arrange a meeting with you and this Dr. Forrester.”

  “Thank you so much, Ma. I love you soooooo much!”

  I kissed Ma on the cheek and gave her a big hug. Ma tried to playfully push me away, but I continued to kiss her all over her face. “Get back, girl; you gon’ give me the heebie-jeebies!”

  • • •

  My first meeting with Dr. Forrester was just between him, Ma and me. He wanted to get a feel for me before he introduced me to his wife. He was a tall, handsome man. He had dark smooth skin, a clean-shaven face with a clean-shaven head to match. He wore a nice suit that fit him very well. Ma and I peeked through the curtain as he stepped out of his car.

  “Well, he’s a handsome something, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, ma’am!” I said with enthusiasm.

  “My, oh my!”

  “Ma?”

  “Look at us in here salivating. I’m too old and you’re too young.”

  “Ma, he’s married,” I joked.

  Knock! Knock! Knock!

  “Go answer the door, child.”

  “Oh, okay!” I looked back at Ma one last time for moral support and then I opened the door. “Hi, Dr. Forrester, I’m Shante.”

  “How are you, young lady?” Dr. Forrester shook my hand and then shook Ma’s hand. “And how are you, ma’am?”

  “I’m fine, son,” Ma said. “Have a seat, please.”

  We sat in the living room and Dr. Forrester told me the story of being my father’s cellmate. He told me how much my father loved and adored me and that he made a promise to my dad to find me when he was released from prison.

  Ma was understandably concerned about Dr. Forrester’s prison record, but he explained that he was unrightfully accused and was awaiting the dismissal of the charges held against him through an evidentiary hearing. He was totally open and honest with her and that made her believe him. At the end of the conversation, Dr. Forrester presented the question of visiting my father.

  “Shante, your father would give anything to see you.”

  “I want to see him, too.”

  “We have arranged for me to take you to see him this Sunday, if you would like to go.”

  “Oh my God! Are you serious?”

  “Yes, if you want to go.”

  “I can’t wait!”

  “Well, if it’s okay with Mrs. Powell, I’ll pick you up Sunday afternoon.”

  “Ma?”

  “Of course, baby.”

  “I guess I’ll be seeing you Sunday, Dr. Forrester,” I said with a huge grin on my face.

  “You go on and do your homework and I’ll walk the doctor to the door, child.”

  I knew that meant that she wanted to talk privately with Dr. Forrester, so I got the hell out of there immediately.

  “I thank you for stopping by, Doctor, but this child means an awful lot to me. I need to know that she’s not going to be hurt in all of this. She’s been through so much in her short lifetime.”

  “I promise you, ma’am. Her father wants nothing but the best for her.”

  “Then I’ll take your word for it.”

  “Have a good day, ma’am.”

  “You too, son.”

  • • •

  I was nervous when we arrived at the prison. It was the first time I had seen my dad in almost ten years. When I first laid eyes on him, he looked different from what I remembered. His hair was a lot longer. He wore his hair bald when he was on the outside, but in prison, it was long and in a thick ponytail. He was also much more muscular, with tats on his neck and hands. He had a couple of scars from what I assumed to be prison battles. All that did not matter to me. I was just so happy to see him, I wanted to cry. I wanted to reach out and hug him. But I couldn’t because he was behind those bars.

  When I fi
rst walked in, I thought he did not remember who I was. He spoke to Dr. Forrester but did not say a word to me.

  “Hey, Doc,” Dad said. “How’s life out there?”

  “Not much different from in here,” Dr. Forrester joked and handed the telephone to me. “I brought somebody to see you, man.”

  “Hi,” I said.

  “Oh wow, man! Look at you. You’re taller than me. My little caterpillar is turning into a beautiful Butterfly,” Dad said. “Do you remember when I used to call you my butterfly?”

  “Yes, Daddy.”

  “Do you remember anything else about me?”

  “Of course.”

  “What do you remember about me?” Dad chuckled.

  “I remember one time when I was little, I had a dance recital and you were out of town. I asked you if you could come. Mommy said you were too far away to make it back in time. It was raining and thundering and I just knew you weren’t going to make it. But after the recital, I saw you standing there with my flowers in your hands. I was so happy I didn’t know what to do! Now! Do you remember that?”

  My father may have been hard to the rest of the world, but he was like a marshmallow when it came to me. “Yeah.”

  “And I remember that time when I was sick. I think I had the measles or something like that,” I said. “You remember that?”

  “Yeah,” Dad said. “I remember that, too.”

  “I remember when you had to wear sweaters, and T-shirts, and long pants, because you didn’t want to catch the measles. I was sleeping on your lap for like five days.” I laughed. “Mommy kept telling you to put me down, but you wouldn’t. You spoiled me!”

  “How do you remember all that?” Dad said. “You were a baby!”

  “’Cause you my daddy!”

  “I’m sorry, Butterfly,” Dad said. It looked as if he wanted to cry, but I did not see any tears. I wanted to tell him so badly that it was okay for him to cry if that is what he wanted to do. “I should be out there protecting you, but instead, I’m in here locked up.”

  I truly believe my father tried to be the best father he could. But he was who he was, and no matter how hard he tried, he could not separate parenthood from the street, even when I was little. He was always apologetic for his lifestyle. That got on my nerves then, and it still got on my nerves.