by Fiona Lowe
He wanted in on the joke. ‘What’s so funny?’
Her hair fell forward for a moment, masking her cheeks, and then she looked up, embarrassment dancing around her dimples. ‘I guess I wasn’t expecting us to have a fun time. I mean, who knew, right?’
‘Who knew indeed?’ His laughter joined hers as he thought about their inauspicious start a few weeks ago, but today they’d got along well and he appreciated her no-nonsense honesty. Unlike so many of his friends and colleagues, she didn’t tiptoe around him, wondering what to say and making him feel edgy in the process. Chloe made him laugh and he needed that. He wanted it. He wanted more afternoons like today.
The only thing he didn’t want was the rush of heat that came alive between them now and then, but neither did she, so where did that leave them?
Friends.
He saw the allure of that—uncomplicated time spent together. Win-win for both of them. A declaration of friendship would also draw a line in the sand, leaving no room for ambiguity. That alone would douse the fire that burned between them and totally reset things. With friendship on the table, it would give them clear and precise instructions on how to move forward with no misunderstandings. He raised his glass. ‘To friendship.’
As she rolled her shoulders back, her hair brushed her jaw, sliding across her tilted chin. Clear eyes met his and, with a faint smile playing on the bow of her top lip, she raised her glass and tapped it gently against his. ‘To friendship. Pure and simple.’
Heat licked his blood.
There’s nothing simple about it.
He drained his glass in one big gulp.
‘And here’s the miracle-worker now,’ Kate said as Chloe arrived on the ward for her afternoon shift.
Chloe glanced behind her, looking around for the person they were obviously talking to, but she found no one. She immediately checked her watch. ‘I’m not late, am I?’
‘You’re fine,’ Keri said, shaking her head indulgently. ‘Kate’s being silly and celebrating.’
‘Oh, why? What’s happened?’
Kate exchanged a knowing look with Keri before saying, ‘I’ve just done an entire ward round with Luke Stanley.’
‘Poor you.’ The automatic response—the one used by every nurse on the ward in relation to Luke Stanley—tripped off her tongue.
That’s not strictly fair any more.
She ignored her censuring inner voice as Kate continued.
‘He was polite, well mannered, and he only had one complaint, and that was perfectly reasonable.’
Chloe smiled. ‘That is worth celebrating.’
Keri nodded. ‘And there’s more. While you’ve been swanning about on your days off, we’ve had four…’ she held up her left hand with her thumb crossing her palm ‘…that’s four days of Luke being easier to work with. Even Richard’s smiling again without the aid of chocolate.’
‘That’s great news,’ Chloe said, picking up the roster and starting to assign nurses to patients.
She hadn’t seen Luke since Saturday night when she’d thanked him and left his house after eating way too much of the delicious satay beef and chicken and even more of the spicy peanut sauce. Luke, who’d complained of being starving, hadn’t ended up eating much at all and she’d noticed he’d taken some ginger for an upset stomach. Soon after that she’d left because he’d been looking exhausted but had been too polite to mention his weariness.
On Monday, she’d messaged him a photo of Amber with Chester on the beach. The puppy’s coat had shimmered golden against Amber’s inky curls, but it was the smile of delight on the little girl’s face that had made Chloe’s heart yearn and laugh. His reply text had thanked her for the photo and for helping him out on Saturday. At least, that was what she thought it meant because Gear photon rhnkas agoa for saris eat didn’t make a lot of sense. It was either auto-correct gone mad or Amber had got to his phone and pressed random buttons.
Chloe was truly pleased that last Saturday seemed to have been a turning point for Luke. Perhaps admitting that he was finding it tough juggling work and home had relaxed him enough so that he wasn’t being as difficult or demanding at work.
‘And we owe it all to you,’ said Kate.
Her head snapped up as a spark of adrenaline zipped around her, putting every part of her on alert. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘No need to be coy with us, Chloe. We know.’
A sinking feeling weighted down her stomach. ‘Know what?’
‘That you spent time on the beach with your dog, Luke and his little girl.’
How was it that the Gold Coast, with its population of almost half a million, could mimic a small town?
Because you used the beach close to where many of the hospital staff live, stupid.
‘I did.’ Chloe concentrated on assigning the afternoon staff, matching their skills with the patients’ needs and definitely not offering Keri any more information about last Saturday. She’d learned a long time ago that it was best to wait and find out what people actually knew before volunteering more.
‘And…?’ Keri’s tone was full of interest.
‘Chester was a big hit with Amber. I guess because he’s close to her size,’ Chloe said, as she calculated exactly how she was going to juggle things to cover the dinner break.
‘I think Chloe was a big hit with Luke.’ Kate nudged her gently as she prepared to do the dangerous drug handover count.
‘I doubt that very much.’ Chloe flinched at the inference that she and Luke were more than just friends. She hated it that she still felt sad whenever she thought about his let’s be friends declaration because it should have thrilled her. She should have high-fived the man because wasn’t she all about keeping her life simple? Not doing the relationship thing with any guy, let alone a grieving widower with a child?
‘All I’m saying is that the man’s been a different doctor since Monday morning.’ Kate’s brows rose knowingly. ‘You do the maths.’
Chloe decided to play it straight because she didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself. ‘I just happened to be around when he needed a hand with Amber. Remember, his wife hasn’t been dead all that long.’
Kate shrugged. ‘It’s been over a year and he won’t grieve for ever.’
The memory of the baby girl who’d been ripped from her all those years ago dumped over her again. Her jaw tightened, making it hard to speak. ‘There’s no time limit on grief.’
‘He’s a man with a child, Clo,’ Kate said matter-of-factly, as if her words explained everything.
Chloe frowned as a rising sense of outrage started to simmer. She didn’t really understand why she was feeling like this but everything told her to keep it under control.
Her mouth didn’t listen. ‘Exactly what is that supposed to mean?’
‘It means he’ll eventually want a mother for his child,’ Keri said, giving Chloe’s shoulder a friendly squeeze. ‘I’ll let you in on a secret. Often the best relationships are the result of one person being in the right place at the right time.’
A flare of fury burned under her ribs and she shrugged Keri’s hand away. ‘What are you both saying? That I’m waiting in the wings for him to notice me? Look, I helped him out once. End of story. Do not read more into this than there is and don’t go creating a future that’s never going to happen.’
Her heart hammered hard against her ribs with an intensity that stunned her. She told herself to stay calm, but as her hands slapped her hips she knew calmness had fled long ago. ‘Just because Luke Stanley has a Y chromosome doesn’t mean he’s automatically looking for a mother for his child. He’s still very much in love with Anna. But all that aside—’ her voice rose dangerously high ‘—when have I ever said I wanted to be a mother?’
Keri’s eyes widened and she took a step back with her hands held high. ‘Whoa, Chloe.’
She wanted to drop her head in her hands and tear at her hair but that would only make things worse. Oh, God, why had she overreacted?
She never did that. She was the epitome of calmness and good cheer—a public persona she’d worked really hard at so she could avoid exposing herself in situations like this.
Shame you couldn’t do it today.
She may as well have put a huge flashing sign over her head advertising the fact she was single for more reasons than just not having met the right guy. Oh, why had she even mentioned motherhood to two women who were career mothers?
‘Sorry, Chloe,’ Kate said, her face stricken. ‘We thought you’d be fine with some teasing.’
She racked her brain for a reply—one that could give a reasonable excuse for her outburst and keep these two insightful women far, far away from the truth. Her brain bounced from option to option. The tried and true default excuse of being tired wasn’t going to work this time because she’d just had four days off.
For some reason, the memory of the flare of desire in Luke’s eyes last Saturday, followed by his horrified expression, rose in her mind.
To friendship. He’d retreated from desire because he still loved his wife, and there was her excuse.
She swallowed and wrung her hands. ‘I’m sorry, I overreacted, it’s just if you’d seen his face when he talked about Anna…’ She mustered a wry smile, letting the silence work for her before saying, ‘So shall we do the dangerous drug count?’
Kate and Keri nodded, allowing her deliberate change of topic to go through without hindrance. Only Chloe knew both of them too well to know that this was unlikely to be the end of it. They’d try again, but forewarned was forearmed and next time she’d be ready.
CHAPTER SIX
‘CHLOE, HAVE YOU got any ibuprofen?’
Luke stood at the nurses’ station, looking like death warmed up. His presence on the ward was unexpected, given he’d completed his rounds earlier with Kate. It was the first time she’d seen him since Saturday and back then he hadn’t looked one hundred per cent either.
‘Have you got a temperature?’ Her hand automatically shot to his forehead, her palm registering the heat of his skin. It wasn’t overly warm but it still made her palm tingle and she stifled the delicious shiver that threatened to shoot straight to the apex of her thighs and make her sigh.
His eyes darkened to moss green at the familiarity of her touch and waves of tension beat at her palm.
What are you doing?
She quickly jerked her arm away and embarrassment swept through her, chasing out her craving for him and leaving only excruciating awkwardness. How could she have touched him like that? Like she had the right to be in his personal space when she had no right at all, especially after his explicit statement about being friends.
Friends, Chloe. Friends. Get it right. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I…’ The tight look on his face stole her words. Oh, hell, shoot me now.
He’d fixed his gaze on the wall behind her and his lips, which had pressed into a straight line, now softened slightly. ‘There’s no need to be sorry. You’re a nurse and it’s an instinctive action.’ He moved his head with a jerk, as if he was making himself look at her. ‘I don’t have a fever. I just have a normal headache, which isn’t budging.’
She thought about his upset stomach from a few days ago. ‘Headaches and nausea. Sounds like you’re prodromal and fighting a virus.’
He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. ‘No. It’s probably just allergies. I’ll swing by the pharmacy and get some nasal spray but meanwhile I’d appreciate some paracetamol or ibuprofen to nuke the headache so I can get through the outpatients’ hand clinic.’
‘Sounds like you’ve got a busy afternoon.’ She passed him the analgesia and poured a glass of water from the filtered-water dispenser.
‘Busy is good.’ He quickly tossed back the tablets and chased them down with the chilled water.
‘True.’ Her eyes strayed to his Adam’s apple, which rose and fell as he swallowed—a delectable bulge that delineated the strength of his neck.
Heady need returned, storming through her and making her swallow. She dropped her gaze fast, pulling her chin down and hiding behind a curtain of hair that fell forward, thankfully covering the flush she could feel burning her cheeks. Why, oh, why did he have to be such a perfect specimen of a man? It should be illegal for a man to have such thick, dark lashes—lashes that caressed his cheeks When he blinked and made her think of butterfly kisses.
He threw the disposable cup across the space towards the bin. When it fell short and landed on the floor, he looked baffled. ‘Has someone moved the bin?’
She laughed at his incredulity. ‘No. Accept that you missed.’
‘I never miss,’ he said sharply, the word slicing through the air and reviving memories of the oft-intolerant surgeon he’d been up until a few days ago. ‘I’ve been tossing things into that bin for three years.’
Having lived with her brother for many years, she knew the oddest things upset men, and obviously this uncharacteristic lack of co-ordination was an affront to Luke’s ego. ‘Like I said, perhaps you’re fighting a virus and it’s putting you off your game. Try and get to bed early tonight.’
Oh, my God, shut up! You are not his mother.
His thunderous expression cleared as his wide and generous mouth pulled up into a grin, sending sexy creases into his jet stubble. He gave her a mock salute. ‘Yes, Ms Kefes, I promise to take care of myself.’
She wanted the floor to open up and swallow her. Friendship pure and simple, her brain taunted her.
If every meeting was going to be like this one—lurching from lust-fuelled desire to attempting to be a dispassionate work colleague while trying to find the right level of friendship—she was probably going to have to step back completely and return to the surgeon and nurse relationship they’d had before.
Luke spun on his heel, wondering where the camaraderie he and Chloe had finally found on Saturday had gone. She seemed tense and was in full-on nurse mode, except when she’d pressed her hand against his forehead it hadn’t felt like a clinical touch at all. He’d wanted to cover her hand with his own, slide it gently down his face to his lips, kiss her palm and then trace her lifeline with his tongue.
Thank God, guilt had slewed through him, whipping him hard and reminding him of all the reasons why he couldn’t do that—the very least of them being because they were standing in a public ward in their workplace.
Anna would be here today if it wasn’t for you. The least you can do is respect her memory.
I am, damn it. Chloe and I are just friends.
The thought reminded him of something and he turned back towards Chloe. ‘Ah, Chloe, I’ve been meaning to thank you for sending me that photo of Amber on the beach. Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner.’ He shrugged, aiming for added casualness to mask how very non-casual he really felt. ‘You know how it is.’
Her kaleidoscope eyes, with their flecks of green and brown, dazzled him with surprise. ‘You already thanked me. You sent me a text.’
He tilted his head, trying to shake free the memory, but he got nothing. The recollection of her text arriving was crystal clear and he could easily picture her name appearing on his phone. The memory gave him the same buzz he’d experienced when it had arrived four days ago. Back then he’d wanted to reply straight away but he’d looked at Anna’s photo and had made himself wait.
Unlike lust-fuelled lovers, who replied instantly, desperate for the next rush of a return text, platonic friends waited. They could only be friends. He had not sent the text.
‘I think, Chloe, I’d have remembered if I’d done that.’ Sarcasm he couldn’t stop oozed through the words.
Her chestnut brows drew down, setting off a tremor that rolled across her straight, slim shoulders, over and around her generous feminine curves until it reached her sensibly work-shoe-shod feet. Every single part of her screamed, He’s lost the plot.
Her smile was muted. ‘Granted, most of the text was gobbledygook and it didn’t make a lot of sense.’
‘Amber must
have got to my phone,’ he said, calling on a lie. Amber was not allowed anywhere near his phone because it was a work tool. No patient or colleague ringing with an urgent request should have to deal with a toddler.
As he heard Chloe’s murmured acquiescence, his mind grappled with the continual and unnerving blankness about the text. It wasn’t the first time he’d had blanks like this—the missing cheese, the chips in the fridge, his sister gently reminding him that he’d already phoned her earlier in the day to tell her he’d organised a plumber to fix their pool pump that had failed.
Plenty of single parents coped with a gruelling job and raising a child and they did it without losing their marbles. Why was he finding it so hard? Was it all down to grief?
Honestly, Luke, how do you manage complicated surgery when you can’t even remember to buy milk on the way home?
Anna’s voice, which had started to fade over the months, suddenly boomed loud and clear in his head. He instantly relaxed. All of his blanks were to do with home and family tasks—none of them pertained to work. Anna had run their domestic lives with precision and vigour, and he’d rarely had to do anything in that realm.
When he’d got back from France Steph had supported him but now, with her on holiday, he was doing everything, plus checking on her property and working full time. All of it was a steep learning curve. Everything would get easier—he just needed some practice.
A patient’s buzzer rang, jolting him out of his thoughts. ‘I’ll let you get back to it.’
‘Yes.’ Her feet didn’t move.
He got an intense feeling she wanted to say something to him but instead of opening her mouth her teeth snagged the plumpness of her bottom lip.
His heart kicked up. Leave now. ‘Have a good afternoon.’
His words came out tighter and harsher than he’d intended and seemed to jerk her out of deep thought.
‘You too. Bye.’
She walked away from him, straight towards Room Three to attend to Mr Tran, whom he’d operated on earlier in the day to release a tight hand contracture.