by Fiona Lowe
He didn’t reply.
She leaned down and kissed him—long and deep, using her tongue against his mouth just how he liked it.
He groaned and thrust into her, slowly at first but quickly gaining both length and speed.
She tore her mouth away from his and matched him thrust for thrust, riding him and taking him higher and higher and closer to release.
His breathing quickened and she recognised from the sounds that he was close. As her body screamed for her mind to let go, she fought it, wanting him to orgasm first. She gazed down at his face. He shattered with his eyes closed and his face turned away from her.
Her heart ripped and bled.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘OH, MY GOD, look at your hair!’
Luke’s sister Steph had just jumped out of her family’s four-wheel drive and was staring at him in his driveway. She threw her arms around him, squeezing him so tightly that he could barely breathe. ‘We’ve been so worried.’
He patted her back appreciatively. ‘No need for that. I told you I was fine.’
She sniffed against his shoulder. ‘I know, but I never believed you.’ She drew back and recovered herself, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. ‘Marty, girls,’ she called into the vehicle. ‘Come and give Luke a great, big hug.’
Squeals of delight were quickly followed by arms being wrapped around his knees, hips and waist. He hugged and kissed his nieces, thanking each of them for the drawings they’d sent him.
Marty slapped him on the back and pumped his hand. ‘You’re looking good, mate.’
‘I feel good.’ And he did. Really good. Better than he’d felt since—He stalled the thought, not prepared to go there.
‘That tumour really did a number on you,’ Steph said thoughtfully. ‘You’ve looked so grey and drawn for so long and now look at you.’ She smiled broadly. ‘You’re glowing and happy.’ Glancing around, she said, ‘Where’s my gorgeous niece?’
‘Napping.’
‘Whoa, bro’. Amber’s having an afternoon nap? You really are on top of things.’
He was about to mention Chloe when Elspeth squealed.
‘Mummy, look!’
‘Aw, he’s so cute,’ Lexie said, breaking into a run.
‘Can I hold him? Please?’ Jess, the youngest of the three girls, pleaded.
His nieces had spied Chester, who’d somehow managed to escape into the garden.
‘You’ve got a dog?’ The rising inflection of Steph’s voice matched the incredulity on her face.
He shook his head. ‘He’s Chloe’s dog, but Amber’s convinced Chester is her own personal property.’
‘Oh, is Chloe still here?’ Steph asked, interest clear in her gaze.
As if on cue, the screen door swung open and Chloe stepped out. Her chestnut hair swung around her face, some curls catching on the arms of her glasses, and she looked beautiful, tanned and relaxed, wearing a pink silk top and green shorts.
Steph punched him in the arm. ‘No wonder you’re looking so happy.’
Guilt and pleasure pummelled him, the mixture leaving an odd taste in his mouth. ‘We’re just friends, Steph.’
That would be friends with benefits.
No way in hell was he elaborating on that to his sister.
Steph raised her brows. ‘Maybe you should be more.’
‘Don’t go there, okay?’ he ground out tersely. ‘If you promise to behave, I’ll introduce you.’
Steph laughed and, completely ignoring him, walked straight up to Chloe.
Chloe, who’d been on tenterhooks inside, agonising over whether she should wait until Luke brought his family in to meet her or whether she should take the bull by the horns and introduce herself, had her dilemma solved for her when Chester escaped.
Butterflies batted her stomach and she hated how nervous she felt about meeting the Markham family. Now Luke’s sister was making a beeline for her. Chloe sucked in a deep breath and extended her hand. ‘You must be Steph. It’s lovely to finally meet you.’
‘None of that handshaking stuff,’ Steph said, moving straight in for a hug. ‘We can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for Luke and Amber.’
The warmth and affection in Steph’s hug made Chloe’s throat tight. This family who barely knew her, valued her. ‘No problem. I was happy to help out.’
Luke appeared and inserted himself between them. He casually slung one arm over his sister’s shoulder and the other around Chloe’s waist in a familiar affectionate gesture that he often used with her.
‘Time for coffee,’ he said.
Resisting the urge to drop her head on his shoulder, she said, ‘Steph might want tea.’
‘Nah,’ he said, ‘she wants coffee.’
Chloe rolled her eyes. ‘You just want to show off that new machine of yours.’
‘She’s got you pegged, bro’.’ Steph elbowed Luke in the ribs in a sisterly way. ‘Marty can’t wait to show you his new diff lock.’ She shot Chloe a conspiratorial look. ‘Boys and their toys.”
‘Enough of that sexist talk, thank you very much,’ Luke said, with a twinkle in his eye, ‘or you can make your own coffee.’
‘That’s far too serious a threat to ignore, Steph,’ Chloe said, teasingly. She pulled open the screen door. ‘The sad thing is that not only is he full of himself about his coffee prowess, he does actually make fabulous coffee.’
‘I’m the perfect man.’ Luke winked at her and gave her hand a quick squeeze before walking into the kitchen.
Her heart cramped. I know you are, and that’s my biggest problem.
An hour later, after everyone had eaten their fill of fruit, cake and coffee, Luke met Chloe in the hall as she was coming out of the bathroom. Trapping her between himself and the wall, he leaned, closed his eyes and kissed her.
The thrill that shot through her every time he did that hadn’t diminished over time. If anything, it had intensified despite the warning voice in the back of her mind that loving him was dangerous because he couldn’t love her back.
‘The kids are desperate to go to the beach so we thought we’d head down now. Will you come too?’
‘Sure, but you guys go now and I’ll come down when I’ve cleared up the food and stacked the dishwasher.’
He tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. ‘That can wait.’
‘Picture sandy, wet and tired kids needing baths and dinner in two hours’ time. Life will be much easier with a tidy kitchen.’
‘Beautiful and practical.’ He smiled down at her. ‘Thanks.’
‘Daddy!’ The sound of Amber’s running feet and the click-clack of Chester’s claws on the wooden floor got louder.
‘You’re up, Dad,’ she said, giving him a gentle push.
‘See you soon.’ He dropped an affectionate kiss onto her forehead before turning and catching Amber in his arms.
‘Plane, Daddy.’ Amber stretched out her arms.
Luke zoomed his squealing daughter up the hall and Chloe watched, smiling, as the two people she loved with all her heart shared so much fun.
She walked into the kitchen and stopped in surprise. Steph was pulling clear wrap over the remains of the moist chocolate beetroot cake Chloe had baked. ‘I thought you were going to the beach?’
‘I am. We are,’ Steph said with a smile, ‘but it’s not fair to leave you with this mess. Two of us attacking it will halve the job and the time. Besides, with that lot out of the house, I can finally get some time to really thank you.’
Chloe ran some hot water into the sink, feeling embarrassed. ‘You already did that when you arrived.’
Steph shook her head. ‘Then I was thanking you for the nursing care. Now I’m thanking you for bringing my brother back into the world. He’s a totally different man now, thank God.’
Chloe squirted detergent into the water. ‘Most of that’s because he no longer has a tumour in his brain.’
‘I’m sure that’s a part of it, but I haven’t seen him thi
s happy and content in a very long time.’
Using everything she had to stay strong, Chloe said, ‘I’m glad, but I doubt it’s me. I think it’s helped that he no longer blames himself for Anna’s death.’
‘I can’t help noticing how affectionate he is towards you,’ Step said matter-of-factly.
‘He’s like that with everyone.’ Chloe hoped the heat in her cheeks would be attributed to the steam rising from the sink.
‘No, he’s not.’ Steph’s questioning gaze zeroed in. ‘Medically speaking, Luke’s able to live alone now, isn’t he?’
‘Yes.’ The moment the tiny yet loaded word escaped her lips Chloe wanted to suck it back.
‘And your stuff’s still in the bathroom.’
It’s not a question. She’s looked and seen. Stunned at the directness of the conversation, Chloe stared at Luke’s sister, unable to form a coherent sentence.
‘I know how ridiculously independent my brother can be, and if he didn’t want you in his house, he’d have asked you to leave. I imagine if you didn’t want to be here either, you would have left too.’
‘Do you put all of Luke’s friends in the witness box?’
Steph gave her shoulder a squeeze. ‘Sorry. It’s just I haven’t seen him this at ease since before Anna died, and I know the reason is you.’
Chloe’s hands jerked on the plastic bowl she was washing, sending suds spraying everywhere. The image of Luke always closing his eyes when he touched her burned her brain and she didn’t want Steph to get the wrong idea. ‘Luke doesn’t love me, if that’s what you’re getting at.’
‘I know my brother and I recognise when he’s in love.’
Her heart did a ridiculous lurch and she turned to look at Steph. ‘Really?’
She nodded. ‘You love him too, don’t you?’
There was no point denying it. ‘I do but…’
‘There don’t have to be buts.’
She chewed her lip. ‘There do,’ she said, remembering Jason. ‘I had a hysterectomy. I can’t give him a child.’
Steph silently passed her a towel. ‘This conversation suddenly needs wine.’ She opened a bottle and poured two generous glasses. Taking a seat at the table, she said, ‘Luke has a child. His need to be a father has already been fulfilled, so don’t spend a moment worrying that will be a problem. Do you love Amber?’
‘Of course I do,’ Chloe said with surprising heat.
‘Good.’ Steph nodded, her face filling with empathy. ‘I never had any problems having the kids and I can’t imagine how it must feel knowing you can’t have a child of your own. I wish I could help.’
Chloe found herself trying to make Steph feel less guilt about her own fertility. ‘That’s very kind of you but, short of surrogacy, there’s nothing you or anyone can do.’
Steph stared at her as if she’d just been hit and winded.
‘Are you okay?’
Steph nodded vaguely, as if she’d been distracted and had lost the thread of the conversation. ‘I’m fine. So you’ve enjoyed spending time with Amber?’
Chloe sucked in her lips and blinked. ‘I used to avoid children because it was all too painful. But Amber’s such a joy in my life.’
‘She’s a sweetie, that’s for sure. And she’d make the cutest flower girl at a wedding.’ Steph winked.
Luke’s still wearing a wedding ring. Chloe shook her head as reality dumped over her like cold water. ‘You’re jumping the gun, Steph. Luke and I haven’t even discussed beyond next week, let alone the future.’
‘Well, from what I’ve seen today and the way you two are playing house with Amber, the future’s looking pretty damn rosy.’ Steph raised her glass and grinned at her. ‘I’m never wrong, you know. Talk to him.’
I know my brother and I recognise when he’s in love.
The words gave her permission to let her mind wander back to the night in the shower. I missed you. The memory of his tender touch on her body sent a shiver through her and she started cataloguing all his little affectionate touches—the way he slung his arm over her shoulder, tucked her hair behind her ear, and moments like just a short while ago when he’d checked she was included in his family’s trip to the beach.
All of it said he cared. Really cared. Was Steph right? Did Luke love her? Had she been so busy being fearful that, like her father and like Jason, he didn’t love her that she’d purposely focused on all the wrong things in self-defence? Like a wedding ring that had been part of him for a decade so that he might not even notice he still wore it? Or that closing his eyes when he touched her and when they made love was really just to savour her taste and her feel?
Had concentrating on those things blinded her to the many and oh-so-very right signals?
You’ll never know if you don’t ask.
And therein lay the problem. The idea of asking him both excited and terrified her in equal measure.
‘If I can survive my sister’s family ripping through the cottage like a tornado, then going back to work will be a breeze,’ Luke said, his voice filled with laughter. He sat down next to Chloe on the two-person swing chair out on the deck.
Chloe leaned into his open arms, loving the feel of snuggling in against his chest and the steady beat of his heart. The sounds of the waves lulled her, along with the gentle movement of the seat. She sighed, enjoying the peace now that the Markham family had left and Amber was fast asleep.
‘Your nieces are totally full on but gorgeous. How can Marty and Steph look so relaxed after spending two months confined with those three powerhouses in a four-wheel drive and a tent?’
Luke laughed. ‘Steph loves it. If she had things her way, she’d have another baby at the drop of a hat and…’
Chloe glanced up at him, wondering why he’d stopped talking, and she met green eyes filled with apprehension. ‘What?’
‘Sorry.’ He pressed a kiss into her hair. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you by talking about people who can make choices about whether or not to have children.’
Tears burned in her eyes at yet another example of his solicitousness, and her heart swelled. Steph’s words, I know when my brother’s in love, which had been playing across her mind for the last five hours, gained even more volume.
She ran her fingers down his arm. ‘It’s kind of you to worry about me but, really, I’m fine. I didn’t even get a twinge when I saw Kate in her maternity uniform.’
He smiled down at her. ‘Good for you.’
‘I think looking after Amber’s really helped me get things into perspective about children.’
He wound some strands of her hair around his fingers. ‘I’m glad. You’re amazing with her.’
‘She’s easy to love.’ And she was. Endearingly easy.
‘Most kids are.’ He kissed the top of her ear and followed it by tracing the edge with his tongue.
Her body liquefied at the erotic touch but her brain screamed, This is it. Your opportunity to tell him how you feel.
‘Now you’re close to going back to work, I guess I’m wondering where this is going.’
He blinked at her—his gaze slightly out of focus. ‘Where what’s going?’
‘This. Us.’ She stretched out her arm to encompass the deck and the cottage. ‘Sharing the care of Amber, sharing a house.’
He stilled. ‘Aren’t you happy?’
She smiled, her heart so full it was overflowing. ‘I’m deliciously happy.’
‘So am I.’
He cupped her cheeks with his hands, gently caressing the skin with his thumbs, and then he kissed her—deep, long and hard.
Her body slackened, craving him and preparing for him.
Focus. Tell him first. Celebrate second.
Somehow she forced strength into her wobbly limbs and sat up, planting her feet firmly on the ground.
His eyes sparkled with anticipation. ‘Inside? Good idea. Sex on this swing will land both of us on the deck.’
‘I don’t want to go in just yet. Luke…’ Her mouth st
alled at the words she needed to say.
He smiled expectantly at her, waiting for her to continue.
Just tell him. He’s shown you a hundred different ways that he loves you. Heck, his sister even noticed. It’s going to be fine.
‘Luke, I’ve changed since we met.’
He picked up her hand. ‘I know, you said. You’re at peace with your infertility and that’s great.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t mean that. Well, I sort of mean that.’
Bemusement crossed his face. ‘You’re not making a lot of sense.’
‘Sorry.’ She met his gaze. ‘I love you.’
He stared at her, surprise clear on his handsome face. ‘No.’ Incredulity clung to the tiny word.
She smiled at him, understanding his disbelief and urging him to believe her. ‘I know I said I’d never allow myself to fall in love again but I was wrong. I’ve realised that up until I met you I was never in love. This thing between us is nothing like I’ve ever known. I love you and Amber with all my heart.’
He stood up so fast that the momentum sent the swing careening wildly. Crossing the deck, he reached the railing and gripped it tightly, his knuckles gleaming white in the moonlight. ‘We’re friends, Chloe, remember? No commitments, casual, easy, that was the deal.’
He hurled the words she’d spoken a few weeks ago right back at her, the tone both accusatory and horrified. Her heart stung with the slap of them.
Make him understand. ‘I know that’s what I said, what we agreed to, and I meant it at the time. I had no plans to ever love again, but it’s happened.’
She thought about all the tiny, thoughtful things he’d done for her over the weeks, adding them together where they added up to one big thing—love. Walking over to him, she rested her hand on his shoulder. ‘I don’t think I’m the only person here who’s changed.’
He shrugged her hand away and faced her. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘I think you love me too.’
Raw horror streaked across his face, dominating every other emotion. It reached out like the bony hand of the grim reaper and grasped her tightly around the throat, crushing her larynx. Crushing her soul. She anticipated what was coming next and she wanted to cover her ears so she didn’t have to hear his words.