H.A.L.O. Undone (Broken HALO Book 1): A Broken HALO Novel (Broken H.A.L.O.)

by Jillian Neal

  “Are you seriously in Vegas right now?” I demanded.

  “Stay right where you are. Do not leave Mom and Dad’s. You got me?”

  “No, Smith, I don’t. I am not a child. I do not need my big brother or my father to protect me, or to come check on me, or to order me around. I will go where I want, when I want, and do what I want, when I want, and you need to get that through your head. I need both you and Dad to chill the fuck out, but we’ll get to that later. I’m hanging up. Do not call me back until you figure out a way to be okay with Griff and me being in love because we have been for seven long years.” I ended the call and sprinted down the airport.

  Every lane of Denver’s highway system was jam packed full of people trying to get somewhere. There was a wreck on I-25. It took me an hour and a half to get out to Castle Pines, the golf-course community where my father had chosen to retire.

  As I drove through the quiet neighborhood, it finally occurred to me that I was about to accuse my father of attempted murder. My dad, the army general who had for the entirety of his adult life fought to make sure others were safe. The safety and security of his family was always his top priority. Griff had to have been wrong. He just had to have been.

  And there he was studying a boxwood with the hedge trimmers locked in his grip. My father believed that landscaping should be much like soldiers, neat, orderly, and in line. Flinging myself out of my truck, I tried to taste my words before I spat them from my mouth.

  “Daddy?” Why did my voice have to shake?

  “Hannah B? What on earth?” He set the trimmers on the front steps and met me in the middle of the driveway. “What happened, little one? I thought you were in Vegas. Why are you crying?”

  “I am not a little girl. I am not your little one anymore. I need to know every single detail of what you said to Griff the night you caught us together, and then I need you to tell me everything you know about Smith’s first mission when they got sent to Eritrea. I want every single detail. Leave nothing out because I have to tell you, right now, you’re not looking very heroic, and I can’t quite figure out how that could be possible.”

  “What are you talking about? What does Haywood have to do with any of this?”

  “Do not stall, Dad. Just… don’t. Griff and I never stopped wanting each other or being in love just because you decided to interfere. When I leave here, as soon as we figure out exactly what happened, I’m going to marry him. You can either be there and be happy for us, or you can stay here and pout, but I’m not going to continue to keep the most important relationship of my life a secret.” There. Take that, General.

  “I think we better go inside.”

  “Fine. But I want the truth without margins.”

  “Fine, but I have one question. Where is Sergeant Haywood?”

  “I’m certain he is on his way here, so we need to talk now.” I followed him inside the house.

  “You want a beer?” The hum of the refrigerator was the only sound in their immaculate home.

  “No, Dad, I want the truth.”

  “Understood. You mind if I have one?”

  56

  Griff

  I sweet-talked Hannah’s admin assistant out of her parents’ address as I climbed in a rental Honda at the Denver airport. The amount of damage the general could’ve already done in the hours it had taken me to get here might’ve been more than I could undo, but dammit, I wasn’t going down until the bitter end. He could look me in the eye and lie to me, but I wouldn’t allow him to do that to his daughter.

  Forty-five long-ass minutes later, I parked on the street and sprinted up the driveway of General Gerald T. Hagen’s home.

  “What the fucking hell do you think you’re doing with my little sister?” seared through the air. I turned back to stare down my best friend. Smith slammed the door on a similar rental car. His long legs ate up the distance between us.

  “I’m in love with her. Come on, Smith, you know me better than you know anyone. I would never hurt her. Deep breaths, man. Chill the fuck out.”

  His hands collided with my chest in his declaration of war. I stepped back. It took everything in me not to respond. Every ounce of training I had sizzled under my skin. It was right there, but I wasn’t doing this. He had every right to hate me, but I had a right to be heard.

  “Did you hear me? Come on. I am so fucking in love with her I can’t see straight. I can’t sleep. I can’t even breathe. I know I should’ve told you. Hate me. I deserve that, but don’t make me hurt you.”

  His huff said he doubted my ability to do just that. “You think you can just go around shoving your filthy hands up her skirt?”

  I caught his fist with a hard pop as the strength of his fist met my own. Using his force against him, I shoved him back. My blood raced hot and fast through me. Adrenaline flooded out to my limbs, but I could not hurt him worse than I already had. “Yes, I do think that, and I think that because I am in love with her. Fucking hear what I am saying to you. I didn’t choose it. I also can’t undo it, and I don’t want to.”

  His next swing was another miss. I jerked out of his way.

  “Come on, man. We’ve been through too fucking much. Do not make me do this.”

  Utterly enraged, he dove in with a hard throat punch, I sidestepped his throw and caught his neck. Instead of bringing his face to my knee, like I’d been trained to do, I shoved him away. Another fist hurled toward my chin, catching my jaw. I landed one in his chest with equal force, enough to rob him of breath for a split second and hopefully knock some sense into him. “No one wins this, Smith. Don’t you get it? Equally trained. Equally matched. No one walks away if we go here. We only end up hurting Hannah.”

  “Fucking fight me!” he snarled.

  “No.”

  He came at me again. Both fists flew. He landed one in my gut as his face collided with my left elbow while my right hit his sternum. We both groaned. Blood seeped from his lip. He wanted more, so I locked him up with my arms to keep him from swinging. He spun away. My resolve slipped with every thundered beat of my heart.

  I could just make out the squeal of a car and slamming of doors through the anguish in my head.

  He went low, diving toward me. Shaking my head, I brought him to the ground. “Stop!” I shouted. “No one wins this.”

  His fist landed hard against my shoulder. Again, I caught him in his throw and refused to release him.

  “Uncle Griff!” split the hot air surrounding us. “Stop! Please!”

  Refusing to quit, Smith awkwardly tried to swing again. He hadn’t seen her. I leapt to my feet. T and Voodoo were on us a second later, jerking us farther apart.

  “Why are you hurting each other?” Olivia’s chin trembled. She approached me cautiously and then slowly placed her little hand against my injured thigh. “Please stop.”

  “Smith, nothing is worth this.” Maddie was in his face. “This stops right here, right now.”

  I lifted Olivia into my arms. She buried her face against my neck and clung to me. “I’m so sorry.” I apologized to her, to my team, and to my best friend. “Honest to God, I’m sorry.”

  Smith tried to jerk away from T.

  “Smith. You will stop this now.” The commanding voice of General Gerald Hagen shook through his son. I saw a moment of doubt crease Smith’s features. “Inside. All of you.”

  “Are you all right?” Hannah flew into my arms. I balanced her and Olivia but refused to answer. I wouldn’t know if I was all right until we got to the other side of this.

  “Now.” The general ordered again. Not something he had to do too often.

  We filed in like the good soldiers we’d once been.

  “Have a seat.” He gestured to sofas and chairs in the living room. Smith continued to pace and shoot me infuriated glares. “I said to take a seat, son,” the general bellowed.

  Smith sank down on an ottoman near Voodoo. Olivia gave me another hug and then took the seat beside Maddie. Hannah laced her fingers thr
ough mine. That sense of wholeness I only had when I was with her eased the bruises I’d certainly have come morning. But what did it mean? That she believed me? That made no sense. She wasn’t crushed by whatever her father would’ve had to admit to make her understand what he’d done. Other than her worry over us fighting, she seemed fine.

  “It seems I have quite a bit of explaining to do, but first and foremost, I owe you a debt of gratitude and an apology, Sergeant Haywood,” was the general’s opening statement.

  I wondered momentarily if Smith had gotten in one of his signature skull punches, and now I had a concussion. An apology certainly hadn’t been how I expected this day to go. I used to think I had some control over my life, not much, but some. At that moment, my only choice was to sit back and watch the shit show. I didn’t respond so the general continued.

  “I am very sorry for threatening you when I found you and Hannah together all those years ago. It seems my words have come back to haunt me. And Smith, if you want to be mad at someone about the fact that Haywood kept something from you, be angry with me. I ordered him not to tell you. I was worried a fracture in your team could have disastrous consequences. Turns out, my orders fractured my own home. So, for what it’s worth, I apologize to all of you.”

  I tried to process his apology.

  “I was initially offended that you believed I had something to do with Team Seven being sent to Eritrea so quickly, but given my threat and the extent of my power, coupled with my daughter’s good sense explanations, I do see how you would naturally assume I had something to do with that. I’d like to show you something, Sergeant.” He handed over a file folder with a classified stamp.

  “It’s the pilot’s court martial papers,” Hannah whispered as I hesitantly opened the file. She pointed to her father’s signature on the final page. “Dad’s the one that brought him up on charges after he heard what happened. He had nothing to do with you being sent to Eritrea. He was the one that figured out the pilot was a sympathizer for the jihadists. He did all of the research. He’s who put him away.”

  “That’s true, Griff. I remember that.” Maddie offered me a kind smile. “Team Ten had been planning to go to Eritrea. They’d been training for weeks. During one of their last training exercises their detachment commander and intelligence officer were injured. Chris told them Team Seven was ready to go. That’s why you all were sent to Eritrea. I’m not entirely certain what all of this is about other than the obvious”—she gestured to me and Hannah—“but I do know General Hagen never had anything to do with Team Seven’s missions.”

  “I would never do anything that would jeopardize my son’s life. I understand you may not have experienced that from your own father, but I would also never do anything to intentionally harm the man my daughter loves. I knew she was in love with you the second I saw you two together, and I’ll admit it frightened me. She was very young. You, much like all Special Forces soldiers, were a little unorthodox. She had dreams and a tremendous amount of talent. I didn’t want anything to distract her. I wanted her to achieve the things she’d set out to do.”

  “She has,” I huffed.

  “I am aware of that.” General Hagen paused. “I have also had to bear the fact that no other man ever made her happy, no matter how many I introduced her to. The rest of what I need to communicate to you I’d prefer to do in my office.” He gestured toward a nearby hallway. “While we talk, my son can locate some of his better sense and calm down.”

  His words prodded at my mind, but the barrier I’d built was reinforced and heavily fortified. If our initial deployment as Team Seven had nothing to do with me…everything I’d ever believed was a lie. Unable to either accept or reject that information, I allowed Hannah to pull me off of the couch. I followed her into her father’s plush office. His awards and medals were on the walls along with pictures of Smith and Hannah as kids. His own wedding photo was prominently displayed on his desk.

  The sound of the door closing jarred me. Nothing made any sense at all. I focused on her. She was here. She didn’t hate me. The rest I’d figure out later. I pulled her close and lowered my lips to hers. Touching her, hearing her, seeing her, none of those senses were enough. I had to taste her.

  Her hands locked onto my shoulders pulling me closer. Her father cleared his throat three times before she pulled away. “Perhaps we could save that for the wedding,” he ordered.

  “Doubt that, Dad.”

  He pointed to the seats positioned in front of his desk. The general settled in his large leather chair and stared me down. “Hannah expressed to me that you feel what happened to your team was largely your fault due to the fact that you believe you were in Iraq at the time you were because of your initial deployment many years before. That could not be further from the truth. However, I also know no amount of me proving to you that you had nothing to do with where you were at any given moment is going to alleviate your guilt. That’s the Department of Defense’s job. It is never Special Forces call, but you also know that.

  “You’ll come up with a dozen other reasons it must be your fault, and you’ll continue to cling to those no matter what I say. Survivor’s guilt is a part of every soldier that manages to leave the battlefield. More times than I care to recall I have watched men die. Men I sent into battle. There is nothing anyone can say that will erase that guilt from your conscience. But if I might offer you a little sage advice from my experience, I’d like to. We do not always get closure. There is no worthy reason that half of your team was killed in the prime of their life. No amount of blame or understanding would ever make that fact bearable. I know that and so do you.

  “Sometimes in this life we don’t get answers. We just get the pain. And let’s be real, Jesus Christ himself could walk into this office and give you the explanation you think you deserve, and it still wouldn’t be good enough, not for any Green Beret. But He did give you something, son. He gave you my daughter’s love. And that love will be what sustains you in the darkest moments of memories you’ll be forced to endure for the rest of your life. He may not be in the business of always giving answers, but He did give you the very thing you need to go on. And she refused to ever give up on the two of you.”

  Hannah smiled. “Never surrender. My father taught me that.”

  General Hagen chuckled before he continued. “Suppose I should be thankful she listened occasionally. But you have also been given a chance to continue to try to make this world a better place. Did it never occur to you that every single path He set you on led you directly back to her?”

  “I don’t know, sir.” I searched the recesses of my mind and only came up with the truth. “I kind of always thought help from above meant there was a sniper on the roof.”

  The general chuckled. “Trust me, son, it’s even better than that, and you know the army has some outstanding snipers. Now, as for the business of you two being a couple, as long as you keep my little girl happy and safe that is all I’ll ever want. I got an earful this afternoon about the young man I encouraged to meet her in Vegas. All of these years, I’d hoped to make up for taking you away. I assumed you’d moved on. She seemed so miserable. I hated myself for coming between you. She pointed out that she does not need just a man she needs a damned warrior and you are that. One of the finest I’ve ever seen. Fair warning, my little girl is a dreamer, and a schemer, and quite a handful. I’ll admit to you I never quite knew what to do with her.”

  A flash fire of heat settled high in Hannah’s cheeks as she rolled her eyes. I took her hand. “Oh, I know, sir, why the hell do you think I fell so hard for her?”

  “Good answer.”

  “I can also assure you that I will always do everything in my power to keep her happy and fulfilled. She might’ve thrown you, sir, but she’s never thrown me. Probably the difference in a general and a Beret. Nonstandard was our standard.”

  “I’ll accept that. She is also a keen business woman, incredibly intelligent, brilliantly talented, and she has done a g
reat deal with what she’s been given. As have you.” He punctuated the last three words with fervency. “As for my son, he has always been fiercely protective of his little sister. I expect that comes from being the son and daughter of a dad who only managed to come back into town long enough to move them to another new post. Smith will come around. Just give him a little time and maybe go out of your way to show him how much you love her.”

  “I will, sir.”

  “I have no doubt.”

  The phone on General Hagen’s desk rang. He glanced at the screen and smiled. “Normally, I wouldn’t interrupt a meeting, but I always take her calls.”

  Hannah grinned. “Must be Mom,” she whispered.

  I tugged on her hand until I had her full attention. “I’m sorry you heard what you heard. That’s not how I wanted you to find out. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I accused him of doing that. It was the only thing that made sense to me.”

  “After all the hell he put you through and threatening you like that, of course you thought he’d done it. He even sent some guy to Vegas to try to pick me up. He’s overzealous, but he does love me. I’m sorry I ran out on you like that. That must’ve made you feel awful. I did it for us, but I realized on the plane that all I’d done was abandon you…just like your mom. I’m also sorry I let Georgia talk me into eavesdropping. I shouldn’t have.”

  “Seems like maybe it worked out for the best, and you are nothing like my mother. You threw yourself into battle for us. She retreated.”

  “Can you give me your exact location, sweetheart? A nearby trail marker?” The general nodded and wrote down a few notes.