Raylan

by Lindsay Cross

  Not that Saline worried about protecting Amber tonight. No, she seemed intent on throwing her to the big bad wolf.

  Amber went to the mirror with a resigned sigh, expecting to see frazzled hair and black smudges of fatigue, but all she saw was the nervous young girl from her past. A girl who’d been totally unprepared to handle a man like Raylan Wild.

  Amber yanked the bobby pins out of her hair, allowing it tumble in loose spirals down her back. She was older now, wiser. And this time, she had no intention of going into battle unarmed. Amber reached for the small dresser near her and pulled her make-up bag out of the top drawer.

  This time, she would be armed with every weapon God had given her.

  *

  Raylan tugged on the metal door handle to Amber’s hair salon at precisely six o’clock, fully expecting it to be locked. The door swung open with ease, and he stepped inside. The interior of her salon echoed that of her house, all warm, muted colors and tasteful decorations. Floor swept clean, the mirrors gleaming in the light. The place was as clean and classy as the woman herself.

  And empty.

  The soft music playing in the background from earlier had been switched off, and with no clients, there was no murmur of conversation to fill the room. Shit. She must have meant for them to meet at her house. Raylan turned, ready to go, but the snick of a lock turning in back stopped him.

  The back door clicked open, and Raylan spun around. Amber stepped into view, completely stealing his ability to think. Unable to speak, he simply gazed at her, taking in her tousled brown hair that looked like she’d just gotten out of bed. With him. The image sent blood pulsing straight to his cock.

  Almost as fast as the off-the-shoulder, deep purple dress and matching heels that made her long legs seem to go on forever. Instantly, his mind was filled with an image of those heels dangling from her feet as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Raylan gave himself a mental shake. Wasn’t why he was here. Well, not the only reason why…

  He cleared his throat. “You look stunning,” his gaze dropping to the plum-colored lips he already fantasized about. And then she smiled, and he forgot to breathe.

  “Thank you.”

  Raylan held out an arm, and Amber went to him, sliding her hand into the crook of his elbow, the feeling of her palm sent tingles of awareness to his fingers. Jesus H. Christ. He had to think of something else before he took her right then and there on the salon floor.

  She angled her gorgeous face upward. “So where are you taking me?”

  “What?”

  Amber repeated her question, and Raylan shook his head, hard. “It’s a surprise. But I can tell you this—you’ll be the hottest one there.”

  About twenty minutes later, Raylan pulled down a gravel road that followed the levee running from the Mississippi River to Morgan’s Point Park. Darkness swallowed the truck as he turned down another small dirt road that cut through the thick pine and hardwood trees. As he drove further, the oaks and pines gave way to craggy cypress trees, their huge roots poking out of the ground like an old man’s gnarled hand.

  “Do I need to be scared for my life?” Amber arched her brow in his direction.

  He smiled, a few more seconds, and he’d be there. “Could be, depending on how you look at it. I guess it could go one of two ways. If I were a stranger, and this was our first date, well, you’d have every right to grab that little pistol you’ve got tucked inside your purse.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Raylan watched Amber grab her purse. “How did you know I had a gun?”

  “It’s my job to know when people have guns, especially if they don’t want me to know they’ve got one.”

  Amber chewed on her full bottom lip, and Raylan almost groaned out loud.

  “What was the other thing?”

  “Technically, this is our second date. And seeing as how you’ve known me for a number of years, I’d say the chance of murder is pretty slim. But,” Raylan paused, put the truck in park, and gestured out the windshield, “could be, I wanted to take you to a secluded location to have some privacy.“

  Parked in a clearing in the trees, she was treated to a panoramic view of a white sandy beach stretching along the bank of Mississippi River. The beach lay bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun. The small picnic table he’d brought earlier that afternoon sat near the water’s edge, covered in a white linen tablecloth. He’d even brought a couple of mason jar candles. He’d packed dinner and had it tucked nice and warm in the back of his vehicle, right next to the most expensive bottle of wine available in Mercy.

  Her green eyes narrowed on him. “Could be your trying to seduce me.”

  Raylan leaned in close, his lips hovering inches from hers. “Could be,” he whispered and leaned down for a feather-light kiss. She didn’t flinch. Pleasure shivered down his spine.

  The fresh floral scent she always wore wrapped around him, pulling at his control and demanding that he continue. But Raylan had laid plans for tonight—plans he intended to see through to the end. He wasn’t going to screw them up just because his dick jumped like a freaking jackrabbit every time she got close. “Stay put.”

  He got out of the truck, put the basket holding the food and wine over his arm, and went around to Amber’s side. He opened her door, and she stared up at him, her eyes wide. Raylan savored a small surge of pure male satisfaction. Then he glanced down at her fuck-me heels and shook his head. “That sand will ruin your shoes.”

  “I can go barefooted.”

  Raylan ducked quickly into the cab of his borrowed truck and lifted her against his chest.

  Amber squealed and threw her arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”

  Raylan kicked the door shut behind him. He had plans involving those shoes. “Don’t want to mess up your outfit,” he murmured. “I know how much you girls fuss over things like that.”

  “Girls?” Amber gasped and stiffened in his arms.

  “Guess that’s not politically correct, huh?” Raylan crossed the thirty or so feet to the picnic table, his boots sinking in the sand with every step and deposited Amber on the bench. Then he sat the basket on the table and pulled out the bottle of wine, pouring them each a glass. He’d had to rely on the storeowner to recommend a vintage, but when Amber took a sip and gave a little mew of approval, Raylan relaxed.

  “And for dinner…” he stooped over and pulled out a covered dish. Silently, he thanked his cousin Lori for helping him whip this up so quickly. He could cook, but not like he’d wanted for tonight. And he needed to make this meal special. Amber had to be soft and compliant when he told her the real reason he’d left Mercy.

  His heart rammed up into his throat at the thought. He could only picture her reacting in one of two ways, which gave him a fifty percent chance of success. And failure.

  Raylan pulled fancy silver tongs out of the basket, opened the lid on the food saver, and placed a heaping portion of fettuccine Alfredo on each of their plates.

  “I love fettuccine.”

  Raylan didn’t bother hiding his satisfied expression. “So I’m getting bonus points here, right?”

  “Absolutely.”

  He took a seat on the bench opposite her. “I hope you like it.”

  He watched Amber take a bite of the noodles, unable to do anything but fixate on her mouth wrapped around the silverware. All the wrong images flashed in his head, and he mentally shook himself. Stay on target. “I’m glad you agreed to come out tonight.”

  Her eyes flashed. “You didn’t really give me a choice.”

  “Nope.” And he didn’t regret it one bit. He’d always done what was necessary to accomplish his mission.

  Amber carefully returned her fork to the table. “Why don’t you tell me what was so important that you brought me all the way out here?”

  The oxygen immediately depleted from his lungs. “You don’t like the beautiful scenery?”

  She studied him through narrowed eyes. “The scenery is breathtaking; the sky
is beautiful and clear, but I don’t think your motivations are.”

  She would have made one hell of an agent. “Smart girl. Let’s enjoy our supper first, talk after, deal?” His stomach tightened as she studied him silently. What if she threw her drink in his face, just as she had the previous night, and demanded he take her home? Could he blame her?

  Her mouth twisted, and then she sighed. “Okay. If we’re not going to talk about the elephant on the beach, why don’t you go ahead and tell me what you’ve been up to in the past six years.”

  Potent relief flooded through is veins, and Raylan took a cautious sip of the wine, finding the light fruity taste sort of refreshing—but still wishing it was a cold beer.

  They talked through the rest of the meal, and through the double-fudge, deluxe chocolate cake he’d brought as well. He filled her in on the last few years he’d spent as an undercover agent for the DEA down south, and casually mentioned he was thinking about transferring to Mercy to be on his brother’s squad.

  She talked mostly about the people of Mercy. Her obvious affection for them had him falling harder for this new Amber; she was even more caring and thoughtful than the one he’d known before.

  He cleared off the table, leaving only the candles, and then took a blanket out of the basket and spread it on the ground. He grabbed their wine glasses and indicated they sit together.

  Amber settled on the blanket, her legs tucked to the side, the flowing material of her dress covering her legs to just past her knees. Her perfectly formed calves and ankles gave him pause. He’d never noticed such small details on a woman before, but he couldn’t stop staring at every single part of Amber, finding each new discovery even more perfect than the last.

  Her rich brown hair draped over her shoulder in shining waves, her soft pale skin outshined the pristine sand surrounding her. “You’re stunning.”

  “Thank you.”

  He liked the fact that she didn’t shy away from his praise, almost as much as he liked the light pink blush staining her cheeks. Raylan handed her both wine glasses, sat down and toed off his boots, before taking his drink back. Too nervous to recline on his side, he sat cross-legged, directly beside her.

  Raylan tried to speak, but his mouth went bone dry. So he did what any man would do—he gulped down the entire glass of wine. He immediately coughed—the fruity concoction set his throat on fire.

  Amber’s laughter filled the small beach. “You can’t drink wine that fast. You’re supposed to sip it.”

  Raylan eyed the glass and gently laid it to the side. “The next time Greer takes a shot of whiskey, I’m gonna suggest this. It’ll put some hair on his chest.”

  “I always said women were stronger than men.” Amber took a small sip. “And smarter.” A mischievous grin curled the corners of her mouth.

  He definitely agreed with the strong part. But not all women were smart. And he’d been the one dumb enough to screw Kristen, before he’d met Amber, ignoring all the warning signs. Hell, she’d been even wilder than him. He’d blithely ignored the fact that she played around with drugs, too busy plowing his way through the women of Slidell to stop and use his head.

  “Raylan?” Amber’s hand covered his.

  He curled his fingers through hers, thankful for the small comfort while it lasted.

  Fear choked him. He was about to risk losing any chance at a future with her forever. His life would continue on as before, only the void left after Amber would gape open, huge and full of pain.

  However, if he didn’t tell her the truth, there would be no chance of a future whatsoever.

  Raylan squared his shoulders and faced the facts. If he wanted any shot at a life with Amber in it, and he did more than any damn thing in the world, he had to be honest. He cleared his throat and locked his fingers with hers. “I brought you out here tonight to tell you the real reason I ran six years ago.”

  Immediately, she tried to pull her hand away, but he held on tight. “Please, just listen, okay? If you hate me and tell me you never want to see me again, I’ll load everything up and take you right back to your house. And I won’t bother you again.”

  Amber didn’t answer, and the hard set to her mouth didn’t bode well, but she did stop trying to pull out of his grip. Raylan took a deep breath. “I have a son.”

  Nine

  Amber went cold; the blood leached from her head and pooled in her chest.

  “His name is Riley.”

  Oh God, he had a son? When? Where? And more importantly, with whom?

  Raylan’s gaze searched hers.

  Her chest tightened. What was she supposed to say? Gee, that’s nice? You not only took my virginity but had a baby by another woman? Her heart plummeted into her stomach. She’d slept with him—

  Is he married? Any blood returning to her head promptly dropped back down into the sand, leaving her lightheaded. “You…you…last night…” Fury clouded her vision and choked off her words. In a move as stupid as his, she downed her entire glass of wine, only she didn’t choke on it—she choked on her anger.

  “Last night was one of the best nights of my life. And I don’t want to screw up with you. Not again.” He squeezed her hand, and Amber recoiled in horror, yanking from his grip.

  Raylan had done it, again. Her worst nightmare. He’d romanced her. Hell, she’d melted under his seduction tonight. Desire had tightened low in her belly.

  Now, repulsion crawled through her body, and she stumbled to her feet. “You expect me to be with you—and you’re married? You have a son?” She slapped her hand over her mouth as a new thought occurred. “You want me to be your…mistress?”

  Raylan surged to his feet. “What? No.” He shoved a hand through that midnight-black hair. “Shit, I’m screwing this up.”

  “You’re dang right you are. How dare you bring me out here, thinking I’d sleep with you, knowing you’re married?” Her entire body shook with the force of emotions pounding through her veins.

  Raylan frowned. “You really think I’d sleep with you if I was married? What kind of sleazebag do you think I am?”

  She had to get out of here. This was ridiculous, she couldn’t face him. Not after that—never after that. She couldn’t ride home in the same truck with him. Just being close to him made her skin crawl.

  But she sure as heck could walk. She would ruin Saline’s new shoes, but Amber had a feeling her friend would say it was worth it. How could she be such an idiot? Amber stomped off in the direction of the truck, furiously yanking her heels out of the sand with each step.

  “I’m not married for Christ’s sake!” Raylan’s words boomed across the sandbar and down the river, flooding her ears.

  Amber froze, fists clenched, panting for breath.

  “Amber,” he said, his voice taut, “the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with is you.”

  His hands fell on her shoulders, and her eyes slid shut. And God help her, she leaned back into the comfort of his arms.

  Raylan slowly turned her, never taking his hands off her shoulders for more than a second. “The morning after you and I were together, Kristen called and told me that I had a son. He was almost a year old, and I’d never even known he existed.”

  Her heart broke at his words, but not enough to blind her. “So you left without telling me a thing?”

  “I have no excuse, except that I was young, dumb, and scared out of my mind. And I’ve regretted the way I treated you every single day since then.”

  Tears rose sharp in her eyes.

  Raylan gently brushed them away. “I thought that I had to try with her. To give my son a chance at a real family, you know?”

  Thoughts whirled out of control through her mind. He wasn’t married. And he had a son. “Are you seeking forgiveness? I don’t understand what you want from me.”

  “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m asking for a second chance. And the reason I told you about Riley is because you deserve to know the truth. When I woke up th
at next morning, I knew I loved you. I knew you were the one.” Raylan clasped her face in his hands. “Nothing short of a family emergency could have pulled me from your bed that morning.”

  Amber grabbed his forearms for support, unable to do anything but hold on. “If you loved me, you should’ve told me the truth. You should’ve told me then.” Before I spent months mourning for you.

  Raylan dropped his forehead to hers, and his eyelids slid shut. “You are absolutely right. My only excuse is I was stupid and scared, but that’s not really an excuse. I know I hurt you.”

  Every single fiber in her body longed for him. She wanted to wrap her arms around him. She wanted to comfort him. But she couldn’t take that risk. “But you did hurt me. You broke my heart. And I honestly don’t know if I can trust you.”

  The words seem to take it all from her, and she felt her body deflate.

  Raylan expelled a long sigh. His eyes opened. “I know it will take time, but I want to try. I want to do whatever it takes to be in your life.”

  All those nights of crying herself to sleep, all those days of nothing but pain, that secret hurt and mindless anger seeped away a little bit. “I don’t know.”

  “Will you take a chance on me?”

  Could she risk it? If she got involved with him again, it wouldn’t be like it had been with Tommy. Tommy had been a light scratch on her life. She hadn’t loved him.

  But if Raylan left her again, he would leave a permanent scar that no medicine or man could heal.

  So why were her instincts urging her to accept his offer and take a chance?

  Because Raylan was her ultimate. He was her soul mate.

  Could she risk her heart again? If he walked out on her a second time, could she survive it?

  Her emotions tore in half. She wanted to run and hide, scared of the pain, and at the same time she wanted to throw herself into his arms and savor every last drop of his sexiness.

  Raylan cupped her face. “I swear to God, if you give me a second chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you don’t regret it.”