Lie to Me (an OddRocket title)

by Brahm, Suzanne

  "You are grounded," she said as I headed up the stairs. "Grounded, Cassandra. I mean it."

  "Fine." I didn't even look at her as I walked to my bedroom. And then, breaking a long-standing Safire rule, I held the door handle for a moment and then slammed it shut loud enough to wake the whole house.

  Chapter 26

  I called RD three times when I woke up the next morning. No answer. He'd warned me that his reception was bad, that he'd be stuck in boring meetings prepping for his super-boring presentations, but I figured he'd find a few minutes to talk to me. I imagined him sitting in a room with tedious professors droning on about school budgets with PowerPoint charts while he stared at his phone, helpless and unable to take my call. It wasn't his fault he was ignoring me. I was sure of it.

  I lay in bed and stared out the window at the line of trees that led to the Forgotten Woods. About a million years ago, I'd stood beneath those sparkling trees with RD. I closed my eyes, remembering the feeling of his hand against my back, the magic in that first kiss. So many doors had opened in that moment. I'd walked through every one of them and hardly recognized the girl I'd left on the other side.

  I called RD again.

  This time my call went straight to voicemail after one ring. Had his phone died? Or, wait. What if he'd turned his phone off? Panic twisted my stomach into knots. Why wouldn't RD answer me?

  I heard pans clanking together in the kitchen and the sound of low voices and laughter. Aunt Lucy and Addie. The fact they were enjoying themselves making breakfast made me even angrier. "I'll go first," Addie's voice carried as she ran up the stairs. A few seconds behind her, Aunt Lucy's even, steady steps followed.

  I heard a door open and close. "Mama, it's pancake Saturday." Addie's voice sounded muffled in my mother's room. I rolled over in bed. Well, at least they were leaving me alone.

  "'Morning, Naomi." Aunt Lucy's voice drifted down the hall, too.

  Beep. A text from Priya.

  R U OK?

  No, I'm not okay. What a stupid thing to ask. It was her fault I'd gotten caught. If she hadn't tried to be all responsible and call to see if I'd made it home, maybe Aunt Lucy would have believed me. I deleted her message and texted RD again.

  Please call. 911.

  I got out of bed, put on a pair of blue shorts and pulled my hair into a ponytail. Dark circles framed my eyes and my lids were puffy and red. My collarbone stuck out a little more than usual. I was always pretty thin, but I looked skinny. I guessed having a secret, pseudo-boyfriend and a sick mom killed the appetite.

  I sat on my bed staring at my phone, feeling sick as each second passed with no call, no answer. Only silence.

  "Cassandra?" My mom's voice drifted down the hall; it felt like she'd reached through my door and tapped me on the shoulder. "Cassandra Marie Safire. I know you're in your room." She waited.

  "No," I whispered.

  "Come talk to me."

  This was a command.

  I pushed open her bedroom door. Inside the scent of medicine, potpourri and citrus lotions all mixed together. We filled her room with beautiful smells to hide the scent of her fading. I felt sick just breathing.

  Mom lay in the center of her blue and white comforter, pillows stacked beside her like a little fort. There was an IV on the right side of the bed; Aunt Lucy had said something about hydrating Mom now. I'd pretended not to hear her. I didn't like needles, let alone the idea of one permanently residing in my mom's arm.

  "Come sit," Mom said, smiling.

  I climbed up on the bed beside her, the pile of pillows between us. She reached over and took my hand. Her fingers so thin, her hand looked slightly transparent.

  "What happened yesterday?" Mom asked.

  "Nothing." I looked down at our hands, the way our fingers wove together.

  "Don't 'nothing' me, Cassie. What is going on with you?" I looked at her round, luminous face. Her eyes still looked familiar, wide-set and pale blue. I could see flecks of gold around her irises. That sparkle I always thought made her a fighter, at least that wasn't gone. "I know when something is wrong with you. Spill it."

  I opened my mouth to speak, but words like 'sex' and 'lies' just seemed too horrible to say out loud, especially to my mother. And was it wrong to love someone like RD? Did I love him? And did he love me back? All of these questions swirled from my heart right up into my head. "I'm okay. I'm just tired."

  "Look at me." Mom squeezed my hand, her voice soft. She didn't sound angry; she sounded like my mom.

  I stuttered. "I think..." Oh, the dam was breaking, the tears splashing over the top. "I'm just really tired, that's all. I'm just so tired." And I cried. I dropped my head onto her chest. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry."

  "Oh, Cassie," Mom whispered, stroking my hair. "You are such a strong girl. You are so strong and I'm so sorry to do this to you, my baby girl."

  I looked up and saw that Mom had started to cry, too, but she didn't hiccup and stammer. Her tears just slipped down her cheeks without a sound. Her eyebrows had almost disappeared and her lashes framed her blue eyes with a thin fringe. She was growing younger everyday, looking more like a newborn baby. "You are my first baby girl and I have tried so hard to give you a good life, to make the right choices for you. But this?" Mom laughed and I could taste her bitterness in the air, but maybe it was the taste of medicine. "This is not a fair thing to give to my girls. I'm so sorry. I know it hasn't been easy being with me."

  "What?" I wiped my nose. Mom thought this was all about her, which made me feel even worse. Watching her cry, I felt like the worst daughter in the whole world.

  "It hasn't been easy being mine." Mom smiled. "Being my little girl, growing up all alone with me."

  She was right. It hadn't always been easy being the daughter of a single mom who insisted on growing all her own vegetables. Kids thought stuff like that was weird, especially in a place like San Sebastian. Hearing lectures about bee pollen as I ate my Cheerios. Having no one in the world but Mom, Addie and, now, Aunt Lucy.

  "Your Aunt Lucy loves you," Mom said, as if she could read my mind. "And I love you more than you can even begin to understand." She touched my cheek. "You are so smart, sweetheart. I'm very proud of you."

  The word proud stung. "I'm not that smart, Mom," I hiccupped. "I really screwed up."

  "So what did you do that was so awful?"

  "Well, Nick and I got in a big fight at a stupid party." And he stole a note from me that proves I had sex with RD, which I am pretty sure would cause you to majorly freak out. Well, that part I didn't actually say out loud.

  Mom almost laughed, her bitter edge gone. "Cassandra, these problems with Nick, the problems with Priya, they will go away. You have been friends way too long for you to let silly fights get in the way."

  "I guess." I couldn't believe there was no interrogation, no grilling. No asking me if I'd forgotten the house no-slamming-the-door policy or, even better, the no-saying-hateful-things-to-your-aunt-who's-just-trying-to-do-the-right-thing rule. "I can do better. I can try to talk to them both, especially Priya," I said, feeling better with every word. "So am I okay?" I asked, standing up.

  "Yes." Mom reached for my hand and squeezed my fingertips.

  I could not believe it. I wasn't in serious trouble. I knew Aunt Lucy wasn't really in charge.

  "You're absolutely okay." Mom dropped my hand and lowered her voice. "And absolutely grounded, Cassandra. I believe Aunt Lucy said you were grounded for one month, but don't worry, you'll survive." She straightened the comforter over her legs and smiled at me, her blue eyes crinkling at the corners.

  I felt like I'd been sucker-punched when my head was turned.

  "Mom. You can't ground me. I have to work. I have stuff to do."

  "Oh, you can still work. And, oh yes, I can ground you." Her forehead creased. "Four in the morning, Cassandra?"

  "Mom."

  "As for work, that's all you're going to do. Mariah knows what's going on and you are, under no circumstances, to g
o anywhere with anyone unless it's Aunt Lucy. You go to work. You come home. One month. End of story."

  "This is not fair."

  "Fair?" Mom shook her head. "No, Cassandra, you may not think it's fair, but I'm your mom and I have told you to obey your curfew. You did not. I have told you to respect Aunt Lucy."

  "But…"

  "You did not."

  "It wasn't my fault."

  "I have told you to tell us the truth about where you are going, to not sneak out and..." Mom stopped as though she expected me to finish this sentence. "You did not."

  My chest tightened; it seemed so unfair of Mom to make me think things were okay and then drop the hammer.

  "Do you have anything you want to tell me, Cassandra, like who you were with? What you were doing?"

  "I told you! I went to that stupid party." The tears apparently hadn't retreated that far since they came back pretty fast. "And it's not fair that I'm always in trouble. I didn't go see anyone or do anything. I just didn't want to come home. Okay? And I thought you loved me so much you would forgive me."

  "Love has nothing to do with it. I always love you, and you are always forgiven, sweetheart, but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences." Mom glanced at her clock. "Now I've given you a few days off from the restaurant so you can think about this new arrangement."

  "But Mariah needs me there."

  "Nick can handle the day shift without you."

  Nick. I needed to talk to him right away. I'd punched him in the nose. I needed to apologize and figure out how to get that note back. "But, Mom, I need the money. You can't just take away my shifts."

  "Oh, yes, I can," she said.

  The battle had already been lost.

  "Fine." I didn't slam Mom's door when I left, but I can't say I wasn't tempted. If she and Aunt Lucy were going to gang up on me, I was going to make it really clear that I was not happy with the arrangement.

  I leaned against my bedroom door, seething. At least RD wasn't around. I may have been grounded, but nothing they did was going to keep me from seeing him the second he docked that boat and came back to me. Nothing in the world.

  Chapter 27

  I didn't speak more than absolutely necessary to anyone in my house. For four days, I ate a bowl of cereal in my room every morning. I watched TV with Addie after she got back from The Boys and Girls Club and I went to bed at ten. I read three books. RD never called. I also didn't say a single word as Aunt Lucy finally drove me to work at the end of the week.

  "Think it will be busy?" Aunt Lucy asked. "Mariah said they've had some good crowds and Nick's improving." I shrugged and looked out the window. "So, have you talked to Priya?"

  I didn't answer. I hadn't talked to her once since the party. She'd stopped calling, too.

  “Cassie, I asked you a question.”

  "Did you see me talking to Priya?"

  "You know, the silent treatment is bad enough, but your attitude is worse. This would be a lot easier if we at least tried to be friends." She pulled into the parking lot at the Hideaway.

  "I'll call you when my shift is over," I said, getting out of the car. "Thanks for the ride."

  As Aunt Lucy drove away, I scanned the parking lot for RD's car. He was supposed to be back in town any day; at least, I hoped he was. At this point, I had to assume he'd lost his phone. I'd stopped leaving messages. I didn't see Nick's car but, since he'd been covering for me, I wondered if Mariah had given him the day off. I'd have to find a way to convince him to give me RD's note back. I hoped I hadn't given him a black eye.

  "Welcome back, sweetie! Oh, I need you today," Mariah said from behind the mint-green counter top. The hiss of coffee hitting an empty pot told me Mariah was way behind schedule. None of the tables were set up except the booths by the windows.

  "Nick's not working?"

  "Here." Mariah threw me my apron. "He quit." She lowered her voice for this commentary. "He said he'd cover for you but when you were back, he was out of here."

  "What?"

  "Yeah." Mariah grabbed a tray of silverware and started slamming individual pieces onto tables. "No explanation." She popped her gum a few times before continuing her rant. "And you know, he was improving so much, I actually was starting to enjoy that guy." She went back for a tray of salt and pepper shakers.

  Nick had quit. I was sure it was because of me. I grabbed a silverware tray and set tables by the window. How was I supposed to get Nick to give me back my note if he didn't work here anymore? It wasn't like I'd just see him at some party or the tennis club. My circles included no one but RD these days and I doubted Nick would show at the Hideaway. I would have to call him, see if he'd meet me. The idea made my stomach turn.

  "You know…" Mariah watched me set the tables, her hands on her hips. "Everything changes at once and I so don't have time for this right now. After all, I have an official wedding to plan." She held out her hand and rotated it back and forth in the light.

  I dropped a handful of forks. "Sorry. What?"

  She nodded, her face breaking out into a crooked smile. The speck-of-dust diamond she'd worn as an engagement ring for years had been replaced with a big rock.

  "Oh, my God. That's from Bill?"

  "Yeah, yeah, my Bill." She beamed, twisting her hand in the light, casting rainbows on the plaid-green walls.

  "Is it real?"

  "Cassie!"

  "Sorry." I started setting all of the booths with Jekyll the Pirate placemats.

  "Bill gave it to me yesterday. He said he's tired of waiting and he wants to get married right away. I told him I thought that was the plan the first time he asked."

  "Are you pregnant?" I asked.

  "Cassie," she said. "Come on."

  "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that." Open mouth, insert foot. Twice. "It's just you’ve been engaged, like, forever. Why the big rush?"

  "Big rush?" Maria rolled her eyes. "We've been engaged for five years! Five years, Cassie. I was beginning to think that Bill didn't really want to get married, you know?" She said it quietly, as if she didn't want anyone else hearing her top-secret theory. I sat down at the counter on one of the cracked, red leather barstools.

  "I know it's crazy," she said. "But it's about time Bill marries me. I know it's fast, but I already have the dress. Priya's mom is going to do the flowers and it's going to be outside on the grass above the docks. I'm really hoping your mom will give me away. You know she's been like a mother to me. It would just mean so much."

  "That's cool, Mariah." I picked at a crack in the countertop, pulling apart tiny pieces. "It'll be nice to have a wedding outside. Mom will be happy for you." I knew my voice sounded strained.

  "Oh, no. I'm sorry." Mariah ran around the counter and hugged me. "You have so much on your mind. I didn't mean to stress you out about your mom. Look, if she is there, that's great, but we're not going to worry about that now. I mean…" Mariah looked panicked, as if she couldn't stop bringing up the unthinkable.

  "It's okay." I looked at my cell phone out of habit. I glanced down at the marina and it occurred to me that if RD’s phone was broken, I could make sure he knew I was working. I decided to leave him a note. That didn't seem too risky, just a small surprise waiting for him when he got back to Kismet. I felt a surge of energy.

  "Mariah?" I said. "I have to run a quick errand, real fast, on the docks. Can I go before the lunch rush?"

  "Okay, sweets. Sure thing." Elbows on the counter top, Mariah held her hand up into a beam of the sunlight.

  I grabbed a note pad and stopped on the deck to scribble a few lines. Missed you. Can't wait to see you. Working until four. XO Cassie.

  I ran down the dock and jumped onto the sailboat, smiling, thinking what it would be like to kiss RD again after so many days away. I was about to stick the note between the hatch and the frame when I heard someone moving below deck.

  My heart raced. "RD?" I knocked on the door.

  No answer but, again, I heard pots clanging and a shuffling noise. Someon
e was down there. Maybe RD hadn't heard me.

  "Hello?" I knocked again, harder this time.

  A short, curvy girl wearing a purple UW tank top and one of RD's baseball caps slid open the hatch. She had one of those deep, summer tans that made pale girls like me look sickly and her thick, dark hair hit her shoulder and curved in one perfect shiny wave. "Oh, hey hey!" She climbed up the stairs, her hips swaying with every step.

  She was sexy in a tight-shirt, curvy-body way. I immediately felt self-conscious and stick-straight. "My super bad, I didn't hear you," she said. "I got busy rooting around down there. Man, I don't know how he stands living on this thing."

  "Um..." Why was she climbing out of RD's boat?

  "You must be looking for RD? He's not back yet."

  "Momma!" A voice called from below deck and a small boy with light blue eyes poked his head up through the hatch. "Juice orange juice." But it sounded more like o-juice.

  "Shh, Duncan. One sec, baby," she said. "Anyway, you totally must be Cassandra. I've heard so much about you. I'm Rachel, RD's wife."

  Chapter 28

  I stood on the boat, swaying with the waves, staring at RD's adorable, curvaceous, smiling wife.

  "RD's told me what a help you've been on this old heap." Her hand extended, I stood like an idiot, my mouth dry. "Are you okay? You look like you might barf."

  "I just thought RD would be here," I whispered. I couldn't shake her hand. I couldn't move. I thought my legs might buckle.

  "Nope, not here. That’s my husband, Mr. hard to pin down.”

  "Momma! Momma!" Duncan pulled on her shorts, an orange juice cup in his hand.

  "Shh, Duncan. I'm sorry. Did you need him for something in particular? Can I give him a message?" She reached for Duncan, but kept her eyes fixed on me. Her husband. The word sounded monstrous to me. RD was someone's husband? That was impossible. He'd never mentioned a wife, a baby. He'd loved me on this boat, on the very bunk I could see right through the hatch. Just thinking about what we'd done together, I looked guilty. I just knew it.

  "It's no big deal. I thought he had some work for me to do today," I managed to say.