Lie to Me (an OddRocket title)

by Brahm, Suzanne

  "You're grounded, Cassandra." She said it in a way that told me this was non-negotiable which, of course, totally enraged me.

  "But I thought maybe you'd make an exception. Please? It's important."

  "Your sister wants us both to go to some art show and I promised her that we would. I'm afraid a party is something completely different."

  Addie opened the front door. "Can we go now?" She wore her pink backpack and Aunt Lucy had brushed her wild, red hair back into a ponytail and tied it with a yellow ribbon. I resented the fact that I was still grounded while Addie had ribbons in her hair.

  "Go where?" I felt like they'd formed some sort of an alliance while I wasn’t looking. "When did you two make all these plans, anyway?"

  "I'll get my keys," Aunt Lucy said, going inside.

  "I don't want to go," I said, my eyes drifting toward the direction of the water. The knowledge that RD was somewhere on this island made me feel all squeezed together, like every cell in my body was holding its breath. He was close. He hadn't gone away forever. I didn't want to be away from RD's sailboat any longer than I needed to be.

  "We're all going," Aunt Lucy said, walking past me. She unlocked her sleek, silver car and started the engine.

  "What about Mom?" I asked. "Someone should stay. We can't just leave her."

  "Mrs. Bean can stay until we get back," Aunt Lucy said. "Let's go."

  Addie practically danced across the driveway to Aunt Lucy's car. "Today is the best day. It's going to be the best day in the whole world. Want to know why?"

  "No," I said, getting into the back seat since Addie had jumped in front.

  "Too bad then." Addie turned and stuck out her tongue. "I won't tell you any of my secret plans because you're a big meanie."

  "Fine, Addie." I rolled my eyes and stared out the window at the lines of trees flying past as we drove.

  San Sebastian gets a little crazy over Jekyll Days. A committee of enthusiastic volunteers decorates everything standing in the center of town. We drove past lampposts, flowerpots and benches draped with black and green crepe paper. The winding strips of color formed an artificial spider web that stretched across the sky. Addie sat in the backseat, hypnotized.

  There were so many people downtown it was hard to find a space to park.

  Getting out of the car I felt totally panicked. What if RD had decided to come into town? What if he was nearby and I didn't know it? I felt on pins and needles. I didn't want to see him here in a crowd. We needed privacy.

  "Girls, let me take your picture. Your mom would want one." Aunt Lucy forced us to stand together beside this lame-looking pirate just outside the community center. He had a big, felt hat on and this weird, stuffed bird on his shoulder and I was pretty sure he was someone's dad from my class.

  “Do you really grant wishes?” Addie asked him.

  “It’s just a story,” I said, answering for the pirate.

  “Don’t pay attention to her,” Addie told the pirate. “She’s a fun hater.” Then she took my hand, which totally surprised me considering she’d just called me a fun-hater. "This will cheer you up,” she said. “It's a surprise for you, Cassie."

  Aunt Lucy's phone rang and she stopped on the front steps of the community center. She waved us on without her. Addie tugged at my hand, guiding me down the hall past bulletin boards covered with art projects and class photos. Inside the gym, we wove between tables covered by papier-mâché and collage art.

  Addie and I walked past a pottery table and a bookshelf covered with handmade baskets. A wall of quilts covered an entire wall behind the basketball hoop. The room echoed with conversation; there must have been about one hundred people walking from table to table. In the corner, a group of kids from middle school played steel drums. They wore bright orange t-shirts and pirate hats.

  "This way. This way," Addie sang. We walked toward a wall covered with black butcher paper. "The Art of Photography" decorated the top of the display like a banner. Beneath the sign, there were rows of photographs taken by island residents. The pictures with ribbons sat in the center.

  "See?" Addie said, grinning from ear to ear. She stood in front of the display, beaming, smoothing back her hair as if posing for her close-up.

  "See what?" I saw a black-and-white photo of dogs playing in the park not far from the parking lot where RD had almost kissed me the first time. Above it hung an eight-by-ten color photo of sailboats racing on a stormy day. This made me think of Kismet and my stomach hurt wondering where RD was right now. Someone else had taken a picture of Jekyll Island in a thick fog. It looked mysterious and haunted, as if a story about a pirate ship perishing on the rocks might actually be true. Every picture on this wall captured something from San Sebastian and everything I looked at reminded me of RD.

  "Here, Cassie." Addie sounded impatient. In the center of the wall, decorated with a bright red, “honorable mention” ribbon, hung a photograph taken by my sister. Adelaide Safire, Age 10. When I saw the photo, my mouth watered, but my throat felt dry. I couldn't speak.

  It was the picture she'd taken in the Forgotten Woods. Tall pine trees covered with Christmas lights formed a glimmering frame and in the middle of all that fuzzy light stood RD and me. The picture looked off somehow, as if something had gone wrong with the exposure or the flash. RD and I looked too bright. The blurry lights around us made it look like someone had painted the whole picture with a soft, wet brush.

  It was beautiful and wrong. A perfect, beautiful mistake. RD held his hand beneath my chin, his fingertips reaching around my back, there was no space between our bodies. Beneath that blur of light, Addie had captured the stillness of our kiss. I could almost feel our heat rolling toward me.

  "Mrs. Bean helped me blow up the picture at the Boys and Girls Club and I knew you'd be so excited, even though he's not your boyfriend anymore. I thought you'd like this picture. Is that the guy who was your boyfriend, Cassie?" she asked. "You said you broke up so I hope it doesn't make you sad."

  She didn't recognize RD. Addie thought this was the mysterious, unnamed boy who'd followed Nick. "But I ruined your film," I said, my eyes filling with tears. The picture was so beautiful, so lovely, and it had led to so much pain. So much had happened since that day.

  "Well, you ruined a lot, but not every picture. Mrs. Bean said I was lucky this one turned out at all. Isn't that great? There were about three left that didn't get ruined. This was the best."

  Addie didn't know it, but she'd taken a picture of my heart and tacked it up on the wall for the whole world to see. I had to get the picture out of the gym. "Can we take it home?" I whispered. "We should take it home so Mom can see it."

  "I dunno. Shouldn't other people see it first?" Addie looked at the crowd. I could tell she was torn between showing it to Mom and letting the world see she'd won a ribbon.

  "I think we should take it home," I said, my voice wavering with tears.

  "Don't be sad, Cassie. I'll go ask one of those ladies." Addie darted away to talk to someone official.

  I backed away from the photograph, wanting to tear it off the wall. Addie may not have recognized RD, but there was no way this would slip past Aunt Lucy. And the photo looked a little abstract; it wasn't like you could see our faces perfectly. But you don't realize how much of yourself comes through in the way you stand, in the way you kiss, until you see yourself frozen in the frame of a photograph.

  I turned and saw Aunt Lucy striding across the gym. Her face white, she had her cell phone clutched in one hand. I felt a roaring in my ears and my pulse jumped even higher. Something was wrong. I didn't even need Aunt Lucy to speak. I could tell by the line of her mouth and the way she brushed her hair behind her ear as she walked. Aunt Lucy had news and it wasn’t good.

  "We have to go," she said, scanning the gym. "Where's your sister?"

  "Um. She's over there."

  "Addie!" Aunt Lucy called. Addie's head snapped up and I saw fear flash across her face. She could read Aunt Lucy's expression, too.
Three months ago, I don't think either of us would have noticed these details. The strained smile over gritted teeth. White knuckles and the low, even tone of someone who needs to pretend that the world will never end. "Let's go, girls."

  Addie ran over. "But I want to get my picture. The lady says I can take it."

  "Later. We need to go home right now." Aunt Lucy didn't give us time to argue. She took Addie's hand and headed out of the gym. I didn't know what to do, so I followed. I could feel the photo in the gym pulling at me like a magnet.

  "I forgot something." I blurted right before we reached the car. Aunt Lucy walked so fast that Addie and I had to take two steps for every one of hers. "Back in a sec."

  "Cas – ." Aunt Lucy opened her mouth to protest, but she was too late. I bolted back into the crowd and took the stairs two at a time. I ran straight to the photo exhibit in the back of the room. The steel drums echoed through the room, a jazzy version of "Copacabana." It sounded like Caribbean elevator music.

  Two old women stood right in front of the display. I reached right between them and tore the photograph off of the wall. It didn't rip, but I left a big gaping hole in the black paper, exposing the brick wall behind it. I didn't care.

  I held the picture to my chest and ran out of the gym. I felt like I'd just pulled off a bank robbery. Walking toward the car, I slid the photo under my t-shirt, careful to keep the front of it off of my skin. I lightly crossed my arms so I could hold it in place.

  Aunt Lucy had the engine running and gravel sprayed everywhere as she tore out of the parking lot. I sat back in my seat and tried to breathe. My heart raced and adrenaline sped through my veins. I felt like I'd stolen a piece of my heart back. That moment in the Forgotten Woods belonged to me, me and RD alone, and I couldn't wait to show him our picture. He would have to see me now.

  Chapter 34

  When we got home, I raced upstairs into Mom's bedroom. Aunt Lucy went into the kitchen to talk with Mrs. Bean. Mom sat in her bed, her blue and white, swirling, Japanese bedspread pulled up to her waist. She wore a pink straw hat with a sequined band. The early evening light cut through the window. Her sequins sparkled, bouncing like fairies off her blue bedroom walls. The air smelled like peaches.

  "What's wrong?" I asked. "Aunt Lucy said there was an emergency." I could feel the photograph underneath my shirt. I held it lightly in place with my arms.

  "Cassie, doll." Mom smiled. Her skin looked radiant, like porcelain, with no color in her cheeks at all. Her beautiful, long, red hair was gone now. I didn't even remember when it had finally disappeared. "I'm not feeling very well today,” she said, patting the bed. "I asked Aunt Lucy to bring you girls home. I need to go…" She stopped as if she'd lost her train of thought. "… to the hospital."

  "Why?"

  She reached out and held my hand. Her fingers felt cold and my hand looked like it could swallow hers up.

  How could a person disappear like this? My mother was a hurricane. She wore colorful skirts that swirled while she listened to music too loud, dancing in the kitchen. My mom encouraged skinny-dipping at slumber parties and frequently cooked meals with "surprise" in the name. Where was she hiding? Who was this sick woman?

  "I need you to be very strong, Cassandra," Mom whispered.

  "But I'm not strong." What was left of me began to crumble.

  "No." Her voice turned steely. "You are strong, so much stronger than you realize. You can handle anything life brings you, which is why I need you to listen."

  "No." I whimpered. I could feel the photo against my chest. I wanted to disappear inside the picture so I didn't have to hear what she was going to say.

  "Yes, you must listen. I'm..."

  "Dying." We said the word together and I felt like my stomach had torn open.

  "I know," I said.

  "I know you know." She smiled weakly and leaned over to kiss me. "God, the worst part about this is leaving you." Her voice filled with tears. "But, for some reason, this appears to be the plan."

  "It's not fair."

  "No." Breathless again. "It's not, but I have to trust." She looked at me intently and I could see a flicker of my lost mom inside of her. "I love you so much. I don't want you to ever forget that, no matter what happens. I'll be right beside you. You're going to have to learn to forgive your old mother."

  "Forgive you?" I wiped my eyes and hiccupped.

  "For leaving you too soon."

  "Naomi. We should go now." Aunt Lucy stood in the doorway. Addie, red-faced from crying, pressed up against her. I hated all these tears and this never-ending sadness. I hated our grief. I didn't want to feel it any longer. "Mariah is going to stay with the girls and the doctor says we need to get you fluids right away."

  "I'm having a conversation with my daughter." Mom coughed. "And then I will go to the hospital."

  "Naomi, we need to hurry if we aren't going to miss the ferry."

  Mom sighed. I gave her a kiss, tasting the salt of my own tears, and I walked downstairs and onto the back deck. The late afternoon sun had brought a chill to the air, but it still felt like one of those magical summer days that might never end.

  I breathed slowly, shaking as I filled my lungs with air. I made sure I was alone before I slid the picture out from beneath my t-shirt. It was a little damp with sweat, but only on the back.

  In the fading sunlight, the picture looked even more magical, more dreamlike. I took a deep breath and dialed RD's number.

  "Hey, this is RD. I'm not around so you know what to do." It took so much energy trying not to cry, trying not to rage and scream, when I heard his voice and the beep.

  I took a shaking breath. "RD. It's me." I paused, wondering if his cell phone would record my heartbeat. "It's Cassandra. I know you're back. I saw your boat. I recognized your sails." I closed my eyes and prayed he'd listen. "I have something important to show you. Something you need to see."

  Chapter 35

  As I hung up, my hands shook so badly that I almost dropped the phone. "Are you sneaking out?" Addie stood behind me. She'd managed to open the French doors without the hinges creaking.

  "No."

  "Mom and Aunt Lucy are going to the hospital. You should go say bye or something."

  "Right now?" I pushed past Addie and ran outside to the driveway. Mom sat in the front seat staring straight ahead as Aunt Lucy lifted her plaid travel bag and placed it in the trunk.

  "When are you coming back?" I gasped, opening Mom's door.

  "I don't know, sweetheart." I could tell it took a lot of energy for her to reply. "I don't want you girls to go to the hospital. It's a horrible place. Mariah will be here soon." She held my hand. "Don't worry. I'm not giving up, sweetheart. Your mom is tougher than she looks. I love you."

  "We have to go, Naomi." Aunt Lucy started the car.

  "I love you, too, Mom." I stood in the driveway beside Addie. She took my hand as Mom and Aunt Lucy disappeared.

  "If you are sneaking out," Addie said. "Can I come?"

  "No. You can't."

  Addie let go of my hand as if I'd suddenly turned toxic. "You promised me next time you snuck out I could go, too." She stomped her feet.

  "Look, I'm not going anywhere."

  "Yes, you are!" she yelled. "You're going to the Jekyll beach party, aren't you? You're going to go somewhere without me for the billionth time."

  "Addie. I have more important things to think about than a stupid party. Mom's in the hospital again. For once, can you think about someone besides yourself?"

  I could tell this hurt her feelings.

  "You don't know what I think about," she said. "You're not the only one who has super secret plans." She slammed the family room door in my face. So, Addie was mad at me again. She'd been mad at me all summer, what else was new?

  Outside my bedroom window, the sky grew darker in degrees. It would be hours before the fireworks began. Had RD heard my message? He'd have to be curious about what I wanted to show him, wouldn't he? Or would he just ignore me again
? My stomach ached when I thought of him pretending I didn't exist.

  I heard the front door open. "Hello?" Mariah called from the entryway. "Anyone home?"

  I went downstairs and saw Mariah hugging Addie. She opened her arms up, inviting me into a clumsy, group hug. "How are the troops holding up? Huh? How you two doing?"

  Addie swung Mariah's hand back and forth. "Can we watch a movie, Mariah?" I wished I could be like her, so untroubled by the real world.

  The clock in the entry way read Seven o’clock. I needed to get out of this house. I gambled. "Hey, Mariah, I think I might head out to that party on the beach after all,” I said. “Mom and Aunt Lucy..."

  Mariah looked at me with a pained expression. "Nice try, kiddo, but your Aunt Lucy reminded me that you are both supposed to stay here where you are safe and sound. I tried to change their minds, I swear."

  "You are joking." I could not believe it. "In the middle of a near-death crisis, Aunt Lucy took the time to remind you that I am still under house arrest?"

  "Pretty much." Mariah nodded as if the idea hurt her, too. "My hands are tied, honey, so let’s make the best of things. Who wants a big bowl of extra buttery popcorn?"

  "Me. Me. Me." Addie's answer rang out in threes. Now that Mariah knew I wanted to go to the party, she'd be totally suspect if I disappeared upstairs with a "headache." We all climbed onto the big, wrap-around, blue couch in the family room and put in Addie's favorite movie, Practical Magic. We'd seen it about a hundred times. It's a movie about these two sisters who have magical powers. I wished I had magic. I’d need some to get out of this house.

  "See, the older sister, she loves this really bad man and she plants him in the garden and he turns into this big rose bush." Addie giggled, her mouth full of popcorn.

  "Don't spoil the movie," I said. The opening credits hadn't even ended.

  "It's okay. I've seen it," Mariah winked.

  As the movie played, I kept watching the sky through the shutters, waiting for nightfall. I couldn't slip outside until it was dark. It was way too risky. Besides, Mariah would never believe I'd gone to bed before the fireworks.