Arrick has boyish, cute sort of gorgeousness, always clean shaven, he’s still manly and would still be called handsome, but there is definitely a softness to his face that I always preferred. Still square jawed with man brows and a steely glare when he wants it, but something sweet almost. A sort of gentleness when he’s relaxed.
‘Food fit for a queen.’ He laughs jokingly, dishing out my fries and burger and hands me my banana shake. Everything I always order.
McDonald’s used to be a place we hung out on a Saturday morning, our junk food fix and just for something to do. My mom would have had a fit if she knew how many times Arrick drove me to burger joints and ‘unhealthy’ eating places, to just pig out, but that was the nature of being kids. We didn’t care if it was bad for us, we just liked it and we had no pre-ingrained notion that because we came from rich families, we couldn’t enjoy normal places like everyone else. That is one of the things I have always loved about Arry… He’s normal.
He doesn’t do the whole overly flashy life, he doesn’t have a million housekeepers or assistants, or acts inaccessible because he’s rich and becoming famous. He cooks, he sometimes does his own laundry, drives himself places, and he does things for himself. He hangs out at fast food joints and goes to movies and theme parks. He has normal friends, with normal incomes, and likes bars that are down town and unknown, with no flashy price tags. I came from poverty and when I was adjusting to the grand lifestyle of my new family, Arrick just reminded me that it was okay to not fit in with the expected grandeur.
I dig into my food heartily, never shy about making a pig of myself in front of him, even now. I have always been an eater, food is like my second weakness, next to shoes.
‘What did you get?’ I eye up his burger with a greedy eye, always wanting my favourite to eat, but always looking at trying something else. Arrick never orders the same thing, he is one of those guys who always tries the new releases everywhere. He shakes his head at me and holds out a burger for me to take a bite. It looks laden with an array of meats, bacon, and cheese and has a fancy crusted roll. I lean in and take a bite, chewing on the barbeque flavoured concoction with a smile. Arrick always lets me try his food, even when we get things that are practically the same.
‘Didn’t realise how hungry I was.’ He adds as he watches me eat, picking up some of my fries in retaliation to the massive bite of his burger I took, and stuffing his own mouth. He’s not a weird eater, he just eats like a guy who has zero cares about looking sexy while doing it, yet strangely, he does. Chewing enhances that muscular jaw and crazily handsome bone structure of his. I pick up my milkshake to wash it down and look out at rain that seems to have calmed down a tad, the noise in the restaurant has died down too, with the exit of a large party of hyper kids and chatty adults and it seems a little less invading now.
‘You reckon we will get there before dark?’ I ask, lost in staring out at the way the rain hits the puddles and sends little ripples in the temporary pools being created all around. The rain is fierce today and it’s already getting late in the day. We spent a few hours in his apartment after seeing Jake, Arrick stuck in his study making calls to his fight promoter and I know Natasha called him too; he closed his door to take that call and I tried not to listen in, creeping around his apartment, amusing myself, and trying hard to focus on anything but that.
‘We should be okay for time, looks like it’s getting lighter. Just a passing storm probably. My car can handle moderate rain but when it’s this bad, it is worse than useless, with zero traction.’ He frowns out at the rain too, looking up at the dark sky, seeing some gaps in the distance where the sun is peeking through.
‘We’ll get there when we get there, I guess.’ He sits back, still eating and just generally looking around us at the people. I watch him for a moment.
‘Thank you for doing this…. Despite everything. You always come through for me. I’ve never said thank you for all the times you came and rescued me in the city, or for just being there in my life when I needed you.’ I look at him wistfully, catching the frown that crosses his face, not one in anger, or confusion, but that tiny hint of emotion. He shakes his head softly.
‘You don’t need to thank me …For any of that. I did it because I wanted too, because I care about you. This…Us. Sophie, if we don’t ……….’ He pauses for a second, putting down his shake and sits forward to rest his arms on the table.
‘No matter how things work out between us, I will always be here for you. I will always care about you.’ He says it more forcefully. Looking me dead in the eye, and I can’t help but look right back, fixing my gaze on his.
‘I don’t know where I would be now if it wasn’t for you. I owe you as much as I owe Jake and Emma, for bringing me to my family, and My mom and Dad, for taking me on. I know I’m not easy to handle sometimes….’ I trail off, emotion getting the better of me as tears fill my eyes and I can’t continue. Arrick reaches out across the gap in our food and takes my hand in his. Cradling it, running a thumb over the outside of my hand softly. Igniting more sparks inside of me that I try to ignore.
‘You don’t have to say any of this…. You gave me something too Soph’s. I grew up for you, I became a better person so that I could take care of you. I stopped being a dumb teen who was partying his life away, because I knew I had to be responsible and show you the way. You are hard to handle, you always have been, but that’s what I love about you the most. You’re fight, Sophie, your spark, and your fire.’ Arrick tugs my hand to the middle of the table, so he can rest his arm easily down and keep a hold on me.
‘Just be happy, that’s all I want for you. To see you happy is the only thing that ever mattered to me.’ The complete genuine look on his face, and his tone full of conviction, I sigh inwardly.
‘I’m working on it.’ I smile up at him again, tears back under wraps and emotion firmly pulled back in place. We look at each other silently for a few seconds, before he breaks the spell and let’s go of my hand.
‘We better eat and get going. Rains easing off, and we still have a couple hours left to go.’
I look down at my half-eaten burger and smile as I pick it up, despite everything going on with us, I still feel happier, more hopeful about how my life is going and just unwilling to let tomorrow or the next day and what is coming, interfere in this moment. Right now, right here, with him like this. I can honestly say I have my first moment of real happiness in such a long time. I glance up and catch him still looking at me, a distant faraway expression as though lost in thought. His eyes focus on mine and it seems to break his spell, he smiles and looks down at his own food before going back to eating. The moment past. Somehow though I can’t help that tiny little glimmer of hope that tingles through my stomach, at the way he had been looking at me.
Chapter 17
I end up falling asleep in the second leg of our journey, it got dark quicker than anticipated, a sign a storm is moving in fast and the rain was the first sign. Somehow the lull of the motion of the car, the long straight roads, and soft music on the stereo, made me pass out stone cold for over an hour.
I wake up, stretching out like a cat, momentarily disorientated at where I am and manage to push Arrick in the shoulder with my hand as I uncurl it sleepily.
‘She’s alive.’ He jokes and catches my hand to pull off him, nestling it back down on my lap with a pat. I yawn, stretching my arms upwards instead and slide both feet out of my shoes, resting my feet on his dash and sliding down to get comfy this way. I have always just liked to curl my legs up when he’s driving.
‘How far now?’ I ask sleepily, turning on my side a little to watch him in the semi dark of the car. Only real illumination is the array of lights on the dash in here, and all the traffic and street lights outside. Arrick glances my way, automatically brushing my hair off my face with his fingers and then puts his hand back on the wheel. I can’t help that internal gush of warmth at something so natural and familiar.
‘We’re about ten m
inutes out, turning off here.’ He nods out into the darkness at some illuminated sign that I recognise and I just sigh heavily. Reality hitting home that I am so very close to probably the worst yelling match in hell. I don’t even want to think about Leila, and how she is going to react when I am in the same room as her.
‘Nervous?’ Arrick glances across at me in the car.
‘Majorly.’ I sigh and watch him drive, watch the way he looks so effortlessly male and relaxed. Always so in control of everything around him and I envy that his feet have always been planted so surely.
‘Just remember they love you and everything they say, or do, is based on how much they care. I’ll be right there.’ Arrick leans out and squeezes my knee reassuringly. I feel myself well up inside, eyes glued to his profile once more and contemplating what life would be like if I hadn’t let him back in. What life will be like if he chooses to put distance between us. Chooses her, and a life with her. I push it all deep down as something that I have no control over right now. Distracting myself by looking at that sexy muscle flinch in his jaw, the way he cutely furrows his brow, and then raises them in the centre as he reads a passing sign.
Crazily adorable.
‘What’s that look all about?’ the smile that follows his head turn my way, makes me smile too.
‘You know?… Just.’ I shrug and look away, sitting up in my seat properly so I can look at where we’re going, instead of at him. Trying to not fixate on all the things about him that are unfairly hot, a little too likeable, and definitely make my heart rate rise.
‘Just?’ Arrick laughs and nudges me lightly. Playful mode coming back between us after companionable hours in a car together. The awkwardness about our predicament less ‘there’. At moments like this, it all seems surreal, like it’s not even happened, and we both forget there is even another issue between us.
‘I’m glad I stopped cutting you out. I’m glad you’re here with me right now.’ I keep my face forward, staring at the rear of the car in front seriously. Unable to look at him while feeling this close to tears again, this emotional about everything as we near another hoe down with my family.
‘You had no chance of keeping me out .. I love you Soph’s. Even with my head all over the place and confused as hell… I know that I love you, whatever way that is.’ His voice sounds hoarser, he too is watching the road and his mirrors, I catch the flicker of his head turning my way for a second and then back to the road.
‘Can we get past this?’ I sigh heavily this time, emotionally fragile and new tears building up in my chest as I ponder that there is still a very good chance that I may have to always accept, he will always be Natasha’s, and I still have that hurdle to cross.
‘I hope so. I can’t imagine life without you. I don’t want too.’ Arrick’s voice is softer this time, he sounds unsure too. A moment of real doubt passing between us and neither has to actually say it out loud.
Chapter 18
I have endured being yelled at, being hugged and cried on. Yelled at some more, by various members of my family, and am now standing in the last address on my tick list of people I owe apologies too. So far, I have stood up to it well, and in the end, most of them, minus Leila, have forgiven me for my disappearing act.
Leila is being Leila, and no doubt will come around after she calms down; luckily her husband, Daniel, is good at restraining her and my apology was pretty much yelled from behind Arrick as Mr Hunter kept her lassoed in his arms across their lounge. I am pretty sure that even Arrick would have little, to no chance, of being any sort of interference, if she actually flew for me.
Now I’m standing in Emma’s kitchen, while her house keeper alerts her to our presence. Arrick checks his watch, standing beside me with an arm casually around my shoulder. I have literally given up trying to point out that maybe he shouldn’t keep touching me, knowing that it’s natural for him, it always has been. We always were this way and he can’t break the habit of an entire friendship that easily. To him, touching me, being close to me this way, is like breathing, and would be more awkward if he stood feet apart with a gap between us. As much as I like to think that Jake and he are not alike, I guess he does have that same touchy-feely thing going for him, when it’s someone he is really close too anyway.
‘Jake should be arriving home any minute, when he gets here we’ll go out and give you two a little time.’ He kisses my temple reassuringly. Sending me into a bout of inner nerves that I am not sure are Emma related at all. He knows how important Emma is to me and I want to be alone with her to talk properly.
‘Sophie’ Emma’s voice rings out from behind us and she envelopes me as soon as she walks in, that bump making an awkward obstacle, but it feels better than good and instantly I lose all the fear and tension in those loving little arms. Emma pulls back and regards me closely.
‘You silly girl. I’m just glad you had the sense to call us.’ Emma kisses me affectionately on the cheek and slips her arm in mine with hers, as she pulls me back towards the low table and to our familiar place to chat. Arrick lingers back as the housekeeper follows, and starts to ready a tray of refreshments. It’s late, getting on into evening and we should be heading home soon, give her space to rest and put the kids to bed, but I had to see her tonight; I had to make sure she was okay and knew that I was too.
‘I’m sorry Emma, Jake said you were really stressed. I’m sorry if I put you through that. I’m sorry I ran, I just didn’t know what else to do.’ I sit down with her, opposite one another at the kitchen table, while the housekeeper lays out the cups and cakes in front of us, freshly baked I guess, as they smell divine. Once she tends to us, she ups and leaves to go attend to other duties with a smile. Emma smiles her away, looking genuinely thankful for the woman’s care.
‘Your dad realised how stupid the rehab thing was once he calmed down, I think he blames himself to be honest.’ Emma regards me with a gentle smile, pushes a cup of iced tea towards me.
‘Were just glad that Arrick came and got you. Best thing right now is being with him. Jake called and told me that you have some big plans… How about you tell me all about it.’ Emma beams at me, smiles past me at Arry too, appreciatively. I’m feeling less uptight now I am here with her and I can see that she is clearly fine, not stressing herself into an early labour or laid out in bed. I can’t help but feel a little more than relieved.
Almost as if on cue, the appearance of Jake behind Arrick at the door causes major disturbances, his children running crazily in with him and chasing off after the nanny in a fit of screaming giggles, obviously on some sort of sugar high that Jake has inflicted and he tries to hide the empty ice cream wrappers as he walks in. Emma gives him that knowing look, the one that is a sort of telling off , but yet mixed with ‘what am I going to do with you?’ smile.
He discards them in the nearest bin by the kitchen door, slides past his brother and then I, straight through to lean in and plant a rather steamy kiss on Emma’s mouth, across the table between us. Ignoring the presence of both of us, apparently, until he has stuck his tongue down his wife’s throat for a minute and the only thing I can do is lean away to give his ass room to get in closer. Emma giggles as he pulls back, fingers trailing his face and jawline and I am looking anywhere but at these too.
‘Mmmmmm, strawberry flavoured.’ Emma kisses him again, this time a little less pornographically and runs a finger over his scruffy stubbly chin with hugely adoring eyes locked on his. Close enough to pretty much make feel incredibly awkward, but Jake has never cared about making a scene when it comes to her, he has eaten her face at just about every family function there has been; and publicly makes no apologies for being unable to ever keep his hands off her.
‘I bought an extra tub for later.’ He winks suggestively, leans back in and kisses her with a smile, lingering a moment, rubbing noses and grazing his across her cheek in a cutely sensual move, before pulling back and suddenly realising we are here, it seems. Meanwhile, Emma’s blush just adds to how pre
tty she looks tonight, and he has definitely put that twinkle back in her eye; righting herself.
‘Hey you two.’ Jake turns with a smile, completely un-phased about that little moment. I’m still trying to not watch the way he always heats his wife up with minimum effort, wondering what it would be like to be that way with someone who’s very close by; and Arrick is focused on his phone, oblivious to it all. He never seems to react to his brother’s over amorous behaviour.
I feel a dip in my heart at the way he is looking at the text he received, something in that expression telling me it’s Natasha, as he types a reply with an unreadable frown across his face, homed in and blanking us all out. I can’t help the jolt in my chest, or the way my eyes keep wandering to him, wondering what they are saying to one another and feeling that gut wrenching bite of jealousy. I swallow it down and take a steadying breath to try and ignore it, feeling that sadness hitting home again, that I will never know that side of him.
‘Hey.’ I smile at Jake as he ruffles my hair affectionately, dragging my sombre expression back to him with a smile, straightening to stand over me.
‘Glad to see you did actually come after all. And not even bound and gagged like I was expecting.’ He winks, with that cheeky Jake grin, before looking across at his brother with a flicker of a frown. He looks at him and then at me quickly, a weird flash of an unreadable look, seems it’s a family trait sometimes, and saunters over towards him, gently sucker punching Arrick in the stomach. It makes him almost drop his phone when he jerks in reaction.
‘Asshole.’ Arrick tuts and ignores the grin aimed his way. Jake throws an arm around his shoulders loosely and rests it there casually, now equally matched in height and build, these two are undeniably from the same gene pool. He leans in and says something quietly in his ear which gets rewarded with Arry elbowing him in the ribs. Face dead pan as he does so, and doesn’t even look up from his phone. Clearly unamused with whatever his brother has just said. Jake hangs around his shoulders, looking decidedly male and not in the least weird that he’s pretty much cuddling his brother. It just looks dude.
The Carrero Heart_Beginning_Arrick and Sophie Page 27