‘Coming with the old man to throw some hoops with Hunter?’ Jake prods him again, this time in the side, and gets an agitated flinch and frown from Arrick, voice louder this time and Arry relinquishes his phone to his back pocket with a quick glance at me. I catch that tiny hint of uncertainty, the way he caught my eye and then looked down guiltily, and then it’s gone, in the blink of an eye. So to speak.
‘Sure, we’ll leave these two alone to do the girl thing. I can once again pound you into the concrete with another set of slam dunks.’ Arrick winks at me, suddenly all adoring and not being dodgy anymore, as Jake identically does the same to Emma, like two books ends and it’s pretty damn freaky how similar they look in that brief moment.
It’s a strange moment for me, almost feels like two men leaving their women to chat, like this is completely the norm, and gives me a strange pang in my stomach. A moment of genuine wishful thinking, wondering what being in a real relationship with him would be like.
‘Pffftt. Shut up, we both know I reign supreme on the court.’ Jake shoves him towards the kitchen door playfully and Arrick just jabs back with a practiced boxing blow that lightly grazes Jake’s abdomen, his defence hand up and guarding while he makes the jab. It’s not hard to tell that he does this for a living.
He just effortlessly moves to fighter pose, arms in tight, light on his toes and head tucked. For someone who specialises in mixed combat, Arrick has the stance of boxer to a fine art. He almost dances on his feet as instinct kicks in and he goes all into fight mode, flexing his shoulders and grinning like a cheeky, cocky ass, who has yet never been defeated. Jake lifts his hands in defence, equally good at this, equally cocky, and sometimes still his brothers sparring partner at the gym. He takes a swipe with a flat hand at Arrick’s head but Arry ducks and weaves and lands another mock blow on Jake’s shoulder this time. Too fast and too focused for even big brother Jacob. Jake grabs his wrist and yanks him into an attempted headlock unsuccessfully, both matched in this, and go trundling out away from us, while still hitting one another.
Emma and I watch them leave, pushing and shoving like kids, shaking our heads and smiling at one another, as they get out of the room; Jake grabs a gym bag from the hall, which obviously houses less formal clothes for playing basketball. Arrick throws me back a half smile, a look of support; that soft look I can never resist that makes his eyebrows looks crazily straight, and then he’s gone. Both leave us to have some space and I have to admit, with them gone, I feel like I can just breathe a little bit more. I know what Emma is going to say, I can tell by the look that’s been on her face since she saw me with Arrick.
‘What’s happening with you two then?’ She smiles softly and I have to curb that ‘there it is’ moment that goes off inside of me. Straightening to face her, knowing this is going to happen whether I want to talk about it or not.
‘Nothing.’ I sigh heavily, not sure that there is anything more to say than that. Knowing I can sit and tell her about his grand speech about feelings, but something tells me she probably already knows all of it. Judging by the way she’s looking at me, I can almost guarantee Arrick himself, or at least Jake, has told her that he doesn’t know how he feels.
‘Nothing? He’s here with you. Last time I saw you, he was most definitely someone you were cutting out of your life.’ Emma raises her brows and I can tell by the little knowing smirk she has probably known a while longer than I give her credit for. She probably knows a lot more than I do.
‘You knew he was confused about all of this?’ I ask pointedly. Watching her this time and wondering why she hasn’t told me before now, why she has sat on this in the past weeks of me trying to move on. But then. Knowing her, and how her mind works, I can see why she chose to just let him tell me himself.
‘I know that he is struggling to figure out what he actually feels, yes. He talks to Jake about everything and he has talked to me a little about it too. He’s really confused, got a lot going on in that crazily complex head of his. I used to think Jake was hard work, Arrick is so much more of an over thinker than he ever was.’ Emma smiles affectionately, obvious adoration for her brother in law and I know they have a good bond. A sibling bond of sorts, and that Arrick confides in Emma when he needs more than Jake’s head involved.
‘What did he say?’ I raise questioning brows her way, so glad that I have someone else I can talk to about this; someone who can help me figure out how to play this, someone with Arrick’s insight, who knows him well. So far, Arry has given me nothing to work with, other than it’s to be left alone until I get sorted in school, which all just feels like delaying tactics with no real substance.
‘You know I can’t tell you anything he asked me to not repeat, all I can do is tell you what I know he would have told you. That there is something between both of you and he really has no clue how to navigate it. His heads a complete war zone of conflicting thoughts right now, concerning you, concerning your relationship, and his relationship with Natasha. That when he couldn’t see you, he called Jake daily to check in to ask how you were getting on……. He cares Sophie, more than the average guy friend would, and I think even he is starting to realise that.’ Emma watches me surely, a small flicker of something runs across her face and she inhales a little sharply. Her hand going to the bump for a moment and I see her visibly hold her breath. Such a sudden moment that catches me off guard, considering my head was on Arrick and now it is most definitely all on her. My inner panic alarm goes into overdrive.
‘Are you okay? Do I need to get Jake?’ I’m already reaching for my bag to get my phone, but she stops me with a wave, a feeble smile and a set of raised eyebrows.
‘False alarms, I get them a lot. Been having niggles all day from overdoing it. I’m fine, it’s nothing. Happens all the time.’ She smooths over her bump again and takes a long steady breath, her face returning to normal and she seems completely over it.
I pause for a moment, watching her for a few seconds and see that she seems absolutely fine, no hint of hiding anything and I feel the rush of nerves cool a little in my bloodstream. I relax back into my chair, still eyeing the bump, but I am pretty sure she knows her own body. It’s not like this is her first rodeo, she’s getting to be a dab hand at popping out mini Carrero’s.
‘If you’re sure. Do you want me to go and let you rest? Come back tomorrow?’ I ask her, but her immediate head shake has me staying put; although I do slide my phone on the table between us, gut instinct tells me I should keep it handy. Just in case.
‘No. I am really fine, still got two weeks to go yet, and neither previous baby was early. They both took their time and casually sauntered in after the due date. Jake’s children through and through.’ She smiles widely, that twinkle in her eye whenever she says his name. I smile too, that gush of affection for these two people who are so genuinely happy in love.
‘The nanny will deal with the kids and I just want to know how you’re doing, how this whole Arrick thing is affecting you.’ Her normal Emma face is trained back on me and I let out a massive size and ‘arghhh’ noise. Lifting my hands in sheer confused frustration. Brushing aside my concerns for her health, especially with this topic back on the table.
‘That bad?’ Emma chuckles and I can’t help but smile too.
‘He’s being Arrick… What more is there to say? Delivers a speech, offers a solution, and then brushes aside all the emotional stuff to focus on the goal. He is just putting all of this in a box and shelving it until I get sorted in school, sorted with my own place, and I don’t even know what to feel about any of it. He either loves me or he doesn’t! …. What does he need to think about? What’s stopping him? It just has me so frustrated inside, like, none of this even seems real.’ I pull my glass towards me and run a finger around the rim absentmindedly, looking for a fidget focus to try and calm the crazy tide of thoughts going through my head.
‘Over thinker. Puts his head over his heart. Rationalises everything, even when he should go with his gut. Choo
ses to keep everyone happy over his own feelings sometimes. Chooses to push aside anything he can’t handle facing. Pick one; he has many adorable, yet crazily frustrating, personality traits, that are interfering with his ability to choose Sophie. He thinks it’s overstepping boundaries, because of our families being close, the age difference, your past. Natasha. This may be a case of black and white to you, but Arrick has always been someone who evaluates everything in shades of grey.’ Emma frowns at me, eyebrows cutely dipping as she regards me with a warm half smile.
‘Meaning?’ I frown at her desperately. Fidgeting with my own thumb nail this time and tapping my foot against my chair leg. Anxiety always my constant friend.
‘He weighs everything up, looks for the least damaging outcome. Tries to juggle everything calmly and get the happiest solution for all. It goes against his character to be a Jake; to impulsively just go with his heart and throw everything else out the way, even if he’s only leaving himself unhappy.’ Emma picks up a glass and I pause when I see that little flicker hit her face again, this time my stomach lurches as I can see she has actual pain. She stops dead and breaths shallowly.
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ I ask warily, my focus now intent on her and the way she seems to be sat completely still with barely any expression. It’s like she’s internally trying to control herself, long minutes of painful stillness, watching her, and then she lets out a huge breath and looks at me with a more serious expression.
‘Maybe you should call Jake and just, you know, ask him to maybe come home.’ She smiles weakly, but the colour drain from her face has me clutching for my phone in a scramble as panic hits me hard. I literally can’t seem to make my fingers work hard enough, as tingling cold filters through my body, that gut of ‘Oh my god’ hitting me hard.
‘Emma?’ My hands start shaking as I locate his number and pull the cell to my ear, stomach doing a nose dive. Eyes on her incredibly calm face and hitting the first stages of freak out.
‘Don’t panic.’ Emma smiles gently.
‘These things take hours, this is just a twinge, and I just want to be sure he’s here, incase it’s not.’ She smooths a hand over mine on the table and yet moves her chair back so she can sit further down the chair. I watch her tilt her head back and take some deep breaths as Jake’s cell seems to ring for an eternity. I chew on my lip, tap my foot harder and begin tapping the table with my nail as it rings, and rings, and bloody well rings.
Pick the fuck up!
‘Sophabelle? How can I do you for?’ Jake jokes down the phone and I practically sigh with relief at his voice, typically playful, yet I am on the verge of completely yelling at him for taking beyond an average amount of time to answer his god damn cell.
Does he not realise his wife is pregnant!
‘Your wife requires your presence. Soon, like yesterday.’ I gush down the phone, stomach in knots. I glance a worrying look towards her and am alarmed to see her shallow panting, her hands splayed on her stomach and her eyes closed tight. Emma’s gone into internal mode and clearly no longer here with me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
‘Is it the baby?’ Jake’s voice changes with superhuman speed, gone is the jokey casual laid back Carrero and instead that serious, deadly hoarse tone. He sounds very much like bossy asshole of New York and I get a surge of calm, knowing this version of him will be the one who gets here.
‘Just come home. She needs you.’ I have no clue what else to say, lost in my own anxiety and panic that she might drop a baby at any second and I am so not equipped to deal with this kind of shit at all. Emma is still sitting the same way, lost inside her own head and it’s clear as day to see she is breathing through pain. I have no idea what I should even be doing right now.
‘I’m coming, feet already homeward bound. Tell her I’m coming. I’ll be there in minutes.’ Jake sounds alien right now, panicked I guess, strangely cool despite it though. The thought of his beautiful girl in pain, not being there with her. I know what he’s like, he will run like a crazy person if he thinks she needs him.
‘Okay, just, you know. Hurry. Cos, like, I don’t know what to do.’ I bite on my lip again, breathing hard.
‘Keep her calm, get her comfy and just breathe slow. I’m really coming Soph’s, take care of my girl.’ Jake is quick to make me feel calmer, something reassuring in his commands, something that snaps me out of child, and into adult brain.
I swallow hard and cut the call, putting the phone down with shaky hands and get up to move around the table to stand beside her. She opens her eyes when she feels my hands on her shoulder and tries for a smile. She looks not like her, pale as hell, considering she is already light skinned, eyes wide and so much greyer today. She looks like someone who is handling pain, a lot of it, and being a champion in the process.
‘Maybe you could help me to the cosy.’ She says breathily, looking unsure and just not like Emma at all.
‘The pain is pretty severe and faster than I have ever known. This is not how it normally goes.’ She pants again, tensing under my fingers and screws her eyes shut again. She doesn’t move an inch, seemingly holding it all together as best she can and I am literally on the verge of crying right now.
I can’t help but watch in awe as she silently gets through it, like a pro; no outwards clawing, or screaming hysterically, like I predict I would; just calm and quiet, internally dealing with the pain. She is the picture of control, silently dealing with every whatever it is she’s getting, and when she lets out another breathe I find myself letting one out too. Like I have been tensely holding mine while squinting at her.
‘Okay, I’ll try and get you up. Here.’ I slide down and put an arm around her, mind on a focus and trying to get my shit together, for her, for Jake, under her own. Emma isn’t a big girl, besides the bump, she’s a little shorter than me and despite her curvy figure, she is pretty petite. I’m not overly tall, or built, but I am strong and athletic and I am pretty sure I can get her up and mobile to a comfier room. I aim on trying anyway.
I manage to get her to her feet with a little gentle coaxing, some awkward balancing acts as I totter with her, when I try to get her upright over her bump. Jake always makes this look so effortless and I find myself internally scolding him for his height and strength right now, and lack of his presence. I have my arms around her back and hers on my shoulder, easing her slowly towards the kitchen door and away from the table, pushing chairs out of my way with an extended foot.
Emma stops mid step and I feel every muscle in her body tense and go rigid, the arm around my shoulder tightens mercilessly and her inward gasp and groan sets every one of my panic alarms off. Emma starts to pant, screwing her face shut again, and this time I know for sure that this baby is coming, whether she, or I, am ready or not. I will Jake, with the powers of psyche, praying he can somehow feel the vibes that his woman is seriously in trouble here and gets his ass in gear.
I seriously cannot handle this crap alone.
‘Number… In my phone…. Midwife.’ Emma pants through her words, eyes coming to mine and I see only sheer pain, maybe panic, reflecting back at me.
‘So ….. Fast’ She struggles to talk, her body still tightly coiled and we are moving nowhere like this.
‘Okay, okay. I can get it when we get you to the sofa, or a bed. Jake’s coming, he’s on the way. He won’t be long.’ I try to soothe her, but my voice is shaking crazily, I have no idea what I am supposed to even do right now. I have never been at a birth in my life, let alone watched anyone give birth. I managed to dodge all the sex-ed classes in school, for obvious reasons, and right now, some insight might be helpful.
Emma grasps my arm with her free hand and her eyes widen alarmingly, she turns to face me with her head, so fast that I actually jump. It’s like an exorcist move without the vomit.
‘Need to get down…. It’s coming Sophie. She’s coming.’ Emma is panting, breathing hard and I can pretty much tell that she is as shocked by the speed of this as I am. I a
m pretty sure Leila told me the twins took like a day to come out, all screaming violent twenty-four hours of cursing Daniel, like a mental hoe. She never tired of telling me that gruesome tale of vagina ripping agony, and right now I do not want to picture that happening here.
‘Okay, but on the kitchen floor? Really? Is that even hygienic? I thought this took hours?’ I sound childish, scared, body shaking, as waves of cold and fear sweep through and I am trying my hardest to keep my head. Mentally wondering how many house staff are here and who will come if I start screaming crazily like my ass is on fire. The look of sheer trust on Emma’s face right now, trusting me to be her help, and her rock, has me lifting my chin and silencing my mental breakdown. I can’t fall to bits, she needs me.
‘No choice….. Sophie… It’s happening too fast, it’s too quick. I don’t know….’ She trails off as more pain hits her and this time she pulls her arms from me and reaches out to the nearest chair. Using the back to lean on, as she scoops forward into a bent pose and starts panting again.
What’s with the panting? Does that help? Is that normal?
I stand behind her, rubbing her back and shoulders, freaking the fuck out inside and doing what my mom did to Leila when she started having pains. Willing Jake to come charging in the door right now and well, just for anyone, besides me, to come help with this.
Emma seems to regain control, turning to me and grabs my wrist, a moment of focused clarity, obviously between body ripping pains.
‘Help me down onto the floor, I need to get my underwear off.’ She looks at me with deadly intent, pretty much meaning ‘Sophie take my underwear off.’ And that crazy look on her face, of a women in serious excruciating torture, has me raising my brows with a smile and a ‘sure’, despite really wanting to jump out of the window right now.
The Carrero Heart_Beginning_Arrick and Sophie Page 28