by Mia Kayla
“My mom said I have to sit next to you. That’s the only reason I’m here.” He threw his backpack on the floor and crossed his arms against his chest again. “I don’t want to get in trouble. They already grounded me from my video games.”
I didn’t want to look at him because I was still mad at him for making fun of my name, but I was curious.
He wore cool Converse shoes and a Spider-Man T-shirt, but what was really amazing were his eyes. I’d never seen any that looked so brown. They reminded me of chocolate kisses.
I offered him a small smile, but he continued to give me the stink face. He wrinkled his nose, and I turned my head to look out the window.
“Why do you stay at Mr. Johnson’s house? I saw you walk from his house,” he said, forcing me to look back at him.
“He’s my grandpa. We live there now. We just moved in.” Glancing at the floor, I wondered if his Batman backpack glowed in the dark. I’d seen the same one on a TV commercial.
“Where did Mr. Johnson move to?” His dark eyelashes curled up over his chocolate-brown eyes.
“Heaven…to be with my grandma.”
I never knew my grandpa. The first time I’d ever seen him was when he was in that scary big box. It was also the first time I’d ever seen Mommy cry.
“Why?” Jimmy asked, a frown formed on his face.
“Because he died.”
His eyebrows crept together as if he were thinking hard. “Well, that’s weird because when my grandpa died, we put him in the ground.”
“The ground?” I whispered.
I wondered if Jimmy’s grandpa had done something bad, something really bad, so they’d put him under dirt to punish him.
“That’s not nice.” I made a face. “Why would you put someone in the ground? We never put Grandpa under dirt. When I die, I hope I go to heaven.”
“What’s heaven?” His forehead got all wrinkly as he scratched the top of his head.
“Well, my mommy says that it’s the greatest place ever, and if I’m good, I get to go there. She told me not to be sad that Grandpa’s dead because he’s happier there, and now, he can be with Grandma.”
“Is it like Disney World or something like that?”
“I think so.”
Mommy had made heaven seem like a magical place.
“You’re really smart, Bliss,” he said, finally giving me a small smile.
I wanted to push my fingers into the dips in his cheeks.
I shrugged. “Mommy says that all the time.” I didn’t mention that Daddy always called me his smart little princess.
I felt something hit the top of my forehead before falling into my lap. It was a Goldfish cracker.
I looked up and saw one boy leaning over his seat, pointing at me and laughing. “Nice pigtails, new girl. Are you two years old or something? You look like a baby.”
His friends laughed with him, and my cheeks reddened in response.
I felt heat prickle behind my eyes, the kind that always meant I was going to cry. Staring at my hands in my lap, I focused on my pretty pink nail polish.
I told myself, No, I won’t cry.
Jimmy reached into his Batman backpack, grabbed a blue ball from his bag and stood. Before I knew what was happening, he flung the ball at the boy who’d thrown the cracker at my head.
“Ow.” The boy held his cheek. “That hurt, Jim!”
“Good.” Jimmy had a mean face on, and it was worse than the stink face. It was a scary mean face. “Not so funny anymore, is it, Evan?” He laughed. “You bring a change of clothes? You don’t wanna pee in class like you did last year.”
The bus erupted into laughter, and that was when the other boy slumped down.
“I hate Evan,” Jimmy said, plopping back down next to me. “He’s just mean. He likes to make fun of people. Kinda reminds me of The Joker from Batman.”
I nodded once. “Thank you,” I said quietly, thinking I’d been wrong about Jimmy when I thought he was just a mean boy.
He shrugged. “If he is The Joker, I wanna be Batman, and I’m gonna save the world.” He studied me. “Wanna be my sidekick, like Robin or Batgirl or something?” His brown eyes sparkled. He looked like he thought this was the greatest plan on earth.
I smiled at him. “Sure.”
“Cool.” He grinned, signifying that it was settled. “Then, I guess we can be best friends.” He extended his pinky finger.
When I didn’t move, he grabbed my hand and pulled on my pinky before wrapping it around his. “I promise, I’ll be your best friend for infinity.”
I stared right at the gap in his smile, caused by his missing tooth. “I promise.” Then, I squeezed his pinky back as I smiled up at my very first friend.
Present Day
KELLY OBSERVED ME AS I used my chopsticks to assist the noodles that fell from my mouth. Few places were still open at midnight, and Chinatown was one of them.
When I went for another bite, she leaned in. “Well…” she prompted, drumming her chopsticks against the table.
I still hadn’t given her much info about Jimmy and me.
“We grew up together,” I told her again, trying to scoop more noodles into my mouth.
Maybe if I kept eating, she’d stop pushing me for details. Jimmy and I had a long-drawn-out history that I didn’t want to delve into. From family drama to teenage drama, our lives were linked together like a spider web. I’d be stuck, sitting at the restaurant until lunch tomorrow, if I started at the beginning.
“You said that already,” she whined.
She still hadn’t touched the food on her plate while I rudely scarfed down mine.
I knew she didn’t want to be my friend just because I was friends with Jimmy. Hell, Kelly hadn’t known that I knew Jimmy when she and I met two weeks ago in the library.
I had been studying for my civil procedures exam when she stood in front of me. Her curly black hair had been in disarray as her stack of books had rested on her hip.
She’d said, “I really want to finish law school, but I have no idea what I’m doing. You’re in my civil procedures class. I’ve seen you, and I think we should be friends.”
I always wished I could strike up a conversation with a stranger like she had, but that was one quality God had never bestowed on me.
Kelly had a natural ease around strangers. In that respect, she reminded me of Jimmy.
That day, I’d felt a little blue because I stopped talking to the only friend I ever really knew—Jimmy. That was when I’d let Kelly into my life, and we were now attached at the hip, doing friend stuff and studying—or more, I would tutor her.
“Details?” she asked, tapping her chopsticks on the wooden table.
I wanted to give her details, but I didn’t know how to explain that Jim Brason, the star quarterback of the New York Cougars and the first pick of the NFL draft, was just plain Jimmy to me. I didn’t have a single childhood memory that he wasn’t in or a part of.
I gave her the short version. “Our moms grew up together. They were neighbors but lost touch when my mom moved away to marry my dad. When my grandfather passed away, we moved back into the house she had grown up in, and that was when Jimmy and I became friends.”
I didn’t remember my grandfather at all. Only that when I was five, my mother, being the only child, had inherited his house, the lot, and all of Grandfather’s money with it.
Claire Brason, Jimmy’s mom, had grown up the same way in the affluent area of the North Shore. But after she’d gotten married, she’d chosen to live in the house she grew up in even though she had all the money in the world to settle down wherever she wanted to. She’d wanted to raise Jimmy close to her elite social circle, opposite of my mother who had wanted nothing to do with her parents’ old money.
In the end, coming back home had been a result of my mother’s guilt. She’d felt guilty for leaving her dad behind to marry the pastor’s son and for not becoming a lawyer so that she could take over the family practice.
Jimmy and I had come from old money, but that was where the similarities ended. Although we had been best buddies since we were six, we couldn’t be more opposite.
“And then?” she prompted, still not eating her food. “He said he’s sleeping over tomorrow night. Are you guys together or something?” Her eyebrows lifted to the ceiling as she leaned on the table as if I had some big secret to share. A glint was in her eye as she waited for something juicy.
I wanted to give her more, but there really was nothing to tell. Growing up, Jimmy’s parents had never been home, and he’d chosen to sleep over at my house rather than stay at home with his nanny, Hilda. Jimmy’s father, James Brason — the quarterback of the NFL’s Chicago Lions, had always been busy, and Jimmy’s mother had partied at her social functions.
I shrugged to make a point of how much it was not a big deal. “We’ve been having sleepovers since before I can even remember. He’s sleeping over, not sleeping over.”
I dived back into my food again. The chicken lo mein mixed with vegetables satisfied the hunger pang in my belly, hitting the spot.
“You’re, like, the luckiest girl ever,” Kelly noted as she continued watching me with a look of awe in her eyes.
“It’s nothing. It’s always been like that between us.”
But it was something more now, especially from my side. I stuffed more noodles into my mouth, feeling a small smile creep up onto my face as I thought of our many sleepovers. On my twin-sized bed, I had usually woken up to Jimmy hugging me like his body pillow until I’d shrugged him off of me.
Kelly cast me a glance, ducking her head and shrewdly narrowing her eyes. “Oh no.” The chopstick holding her lo mein stopped midair. “No, no, no.”
“What?” I wiped the corner of my mouth with my fingertips. “Is something on my face?” I swiped at it with a napkin this time.
She shook her head. “I’ve seen that look before.”
“What?”
“The love look.” Her eyes widened in excitement as if she’d discovered some hidden secret.
I waved one hand in the air, disregarding her comment. “Please.” My eyes focused on the couple at the table next to us. “I’m totally not. Don’t be ridiculous.” A blush spread to the apples of my cheeks. I tried to play it off, but my bright face probably gave me away.
Her eyes were still narrowed as her forefinger tapped her lips. She didn’t believe me. “Don’t try to deny it, girlfriend. I’ve mastered that face. I’ve been there. I’ve been in love.”
“Whatever,” I muttered.
“Oh my.” She clicked her tongue like I was in trouble. “Bliss Carrington, you’re in love with your best friend. He doesn’t know, does he? Go ahead. Look me in the eye, and try to deny it.”
A look of pity crossed her face now, and while I hated it, I doubted my ability to deny it while keeping a straight face.
I peered into her ever-knowing eyes and opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, I dropped my head in my hands. “Okay,” I groaned. “I’m screwed.”
Because I was in love with my best friend.
I jumped onto my queen-sized bed, pulling the gray duvet over my knees.
“Scoot over, will you?” Jimmy nudged my shoulder to make room for himself.
I shifted to the edge of the bed while his massive six-foot frame squished in beside me under the duvet. We barely fit when it seemed like just yesterday we’d both been able to squeeze onto my twin.
“What are we watching?” He dipped his hand into my popcorn bowl.
A tingly feeling climbed up my arm when his fingers brushed against mine.
“I heard that movie with Channing Tatum is out,” he said.
I threw a couple of pieces of popcorn into my mouth, trying to ignore the jolt of tingles from our connection. “A chick flick?” I scrunched my nose at him.
When we were younger, we used to flip a coin to decide what movie we were going to watch. Whenever I picked a chick flick, he would complain and huff for hours.
“You’re going to watch Channing Tatum with me?” I asked incredulously.
My mouth went dry as my eyes traveled to his gray fitted T-shirt that clung to his chest, clearly outlining his defined abs. He smelled of fresh dryer sheets as if his shirt had come straight from the dryer, and I wanted to bury my face in his chest and take a whiff to breathe him in.
He chuckled. “Not the chick flick. The one where he’s a Marine.”
He shifted, and his thigh touched my hip. His proximity was unnerving. Just being in his vicinity and on the same bed, my fingers itched to touch him. I inched closer because I could, but I had to use all my self-control not to give away too much or cross some invisible friendship line.
I nodded and flipped through the movies we could rent on cable. “Oh, okay.” I pressed play when I landed on the Marine movie, and I tucked an escaping strand of hair behind my ear as I watched him eat popcorn. Even the way he chewed was adorable.
“It’s bad enough that I have to watch you go crazy fangirl every time you see him in those trailers on TV. I’m not about to sit here for two hours and watch you drool.”
I let out a low laugh. Little did he know that he was the only person who had my attention tonight. It seemed as if every time we were in the same proximity, my pulse would race, beating wildly against my wrist.
He reached into my bowl, grabbing a fistful of popcorn and jamming it into his mouth. “I miss this,” he said between chews. “Remember when it was easier to hang out? Now, life is just crazy.” He shook his head.
I took in his boyishly handsome face, forcing my hands to stay at my sides. I missed it, too—when life had been easier, when we were younger, and when I’d had him all to myself without having to share him with the world.
“Yeah. Well, with your football, your press, your charity functions, you’re a very busy man, Mr. Brason,” I said casually even though I felt the reality of it momentarily choking me.
“At least I make time for you.” He gave me a small smile as his warm brown eyes brightened. “You’re my daily morning call at eight when I’m on the can.” He winked.
How romantic.
I rolled my eyes and chucked a piece of popcorn at his head. He chuckled as it dropped into his lap, but he picked it up and popped it into his mouth.
“Thanks. Much appreciated.” I smirked, slapping his shoulder just so that I could touch him.
A laugh escaped his lips as his eyes met mine, a strong emotion passing through them. For a brief moment, it gave me a tinge of hope. When his stare didn’t waver, I wondered what he was thinking and who he saw when he looked at me that way.
Was I the girl he’d grown up with? Or did he see the woman I had grown to be?
He cleared his throat, noticeably tucking away the emotion that had been there seconds ago. “You’re the one not picking up my calls.” He tried to keep his voice light, but I heard the heavy disappointment in his tone. “I haven’t gotten a hold of you in over a week. We’ve never gone that long.” His forehead creased as he leaned in closer. “Is something wrong? Did I do anything to upset you?” he asked, his eyebrows pulling together.
I stared into his chocolate-brown eyes, trying not to get completely sucked in. Jimmy had mastered the puppy dog face long ago, and he used it whenever he thought I was mad at him. It’d annoyed me when I was younger, but the more I’d seemed to fall for him, the more I’d thought it was the cutest thing.
I itched to touch his brow and smooth out those lines in his forehead, but instead I stuck my hand in the popcorn bowl for safe measure. “Jimmy, it’s school.” I shrugged, trying for nonchalance. “It’s keeping me busy. You and I are fine.” I bit my lip after the word fine had left my mouth because I knew he hated when I used that word.
“Fine?” He grabbed the popcorn bowl from my hands and dropped it on the table next to the bed. The bowl teetered, almost tipping over. “I saw my mom yesterday,” he said, shifting topics so fast that I almost got whiplash.
I felt him burning a hole into the side of my face. “Oh? How is she?” I tried to steady my high-pitched voice, but I knew I was totally busted.
“Still a drunk and popping pills. I had to hire extra help for Hilda to babysit her.”
At the bitterness in his tone, I shifted to face him. “Sorry.” I reached out and squeezed his hand, feeling warmth spread from our connection. As I had many times before, I felt an automatic need to alleviate his stress about his mother, a woman who’d always been too involved in her social circle to take care of him.
“That’s beside the point.” His tone dropped, and I knew it was coming. “She told me you were in New York a couple of weeks ago.”
I released his hand, and my mouth slipped slightly ajar as I tried to figure out how to respond, but I had nothing. I fidgeted with the blanket, heat rising to the tips of my ears. Finally, I tore my gaze from him and focused on the movie that neither of us had been paying attention to.
“Why the hell did you go all the way to New York and not call me?” Anger leaked through in his tone, and heavy hurt showed in his eyes when I glanced back at him. “You were on the East Coast, in the same city, and you didn’t come see me. Why?” His voice broke on the last word.
My face burned up, the tips of my ears probably as red as the devil’s.
How did I get out of this one now?
I couldn’t exactly tell him that I had come to see him. I had wanted to surprise him. But when the cab had dropped me in front of his Manhattan apartment, I’d become frozen at the sight of Jimmy entangled in some woman’s arms.
Her arms had wrapped around him as they stood in front of his apartment, and the intimacy of their hold had made me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t rush out of there fast enough as I’d tried to erase the image of the redhead and him together.
For these past few weeks, I had relentlessly been Internet-stalking that girl. She and Jimmy had been paired together in several magazines and even more paparazzi shots. Her name was Clarisse Calari, and she was a semi-famous swimsuit supermodel.