In Your Honor

by Heidi Hutchinson

  Wild Horses

  Last night's rehearsal had gone so well that Lucy wished that it had been their performance. Taylor was so pleased he almost smiled. Almost. Hopefully they could replicate it tonight when it counted.

  She blew a stray hair out of her face as she adjusted the pie in the glass case. Lunch rush hadn't happened and she was wondering what on earth she was going to do with an extra apple pie. Maybe she'd send it home with Kaylee, the other waitress who was working with her today. College kids need food, right?

  She came back around to the back of the counter where Kaylee leaned her elbows against the top and sighed dramatically. Her cute blonde ponytail seemed to sigh with her as it bobbed slightly.

  “This day is taking too long!” She pouted. “I want to see you sing tonight.”

  “Soon,” Lucy smiled and tapped Kaylee's nose with her index finger. “And I only sing on one song tonight. It's not me you're coming to see.” She raised an eyebrow at the younger girl. “You're coming to stare at Taylor Stevens.”

  “I admit it, I have a ginormous crush.” Kaylee's cheeks went cherry red. “I think it's the beard... who can resist that beard?”

  “You're boy-crazy,” Lucy corrected with a smile. She turned away from her and started to straighten the coffee cups and saucers. For some reason, the kids she'd been having close at night always put the coffee dishes away so sloppily. She was going to have to get after them about that.

  “So, I like boys... that doesn't make me boy-crazy,” Kaylee muttered, and Lucy snickered under her breath.

  “I don't like all guys... just the really, really hot ones.” She continued to defend herself. “Like that one. Holy crap, Lucy, check out this guy!”

  Lucy sighed and rolled her eyes. She liked working with Kaylee because she was high energy and the customers enjoyed her antics. But sometimes Lucy was worried she would have to hose her down. Every lunch shift she was drooling after one guy or another, and Lucy had to hear all about their rippling pectorals, their beastly biceps and their yummy backsides. She had pointed out to Kaylee that her behavior was no different than when men objectified women, but she had been met with an open-mouth stare.

  She turned to look at the current object of Kaylee's attraction. The shadows that bounced around the entryway from the sun's position behind him made it hard to distinguish a face. She narrowed her eyes and tried to focus. She had to be seeing things she decided, even as her mouth went dry.

  He pulled open the glass door and stood in the entry for a handful of seconds. Scuffed motorcycle boots, ripped-up jeans, old ZZ Top t-shirt, perfect five o'clock shadow, mirrored aviators, and jet-black hair that was too messy to be an accident. Lucy knew she was supposed to be shocked, but he looked so normal standing in her diner. Like he had never left.

  She carefully and slowly smoothed the front of her apron as her heart pounded against her ribcage, threatening to shatter it to pieces. She had no idea if he had seen her yet, she couldn't see his eyes behind the shades. No matter, he was going to see her when she asked him if he wanted coffee with his pie.

  “Lucy Newton.” He smiled warmly as she came around to the front of the counter. She had no restraint when it came to this man. And that had never been good for either one of them.

  “Blake Diedrich.” She smiled back, wondering if he could see through her and know that inside, she was coming unhinged. It was the same feeling she'd had when she'd gotten caught outside during a storm as a little girl. The same helplessness as the approaching tornado shook the ground under her feet and pieces of the barn blew past her face. The overwhelming roar of the power bearing down on her had paralyzed her. Her daddy had yanked her into the cellar at the last second.

  But no rescue was coming this time. She was completely exposed, and she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

  Suddenly his strong, corded arms were around her waist, wrapping her body in a hug that made her heart ache. He lifted her feet off the floor, his face buried in her neck. The stubble on his face scratched her skin and raised goosebumps on her arms. They inhaled each other's scent simultaneously. Her thoughts went fuzzy as they filled with the smell of a nighttime rainstorm coupled with the feeling of danger that accompanies the electricity in the air right before lightning strikes.

  “I hope I get that kind of a greeting.”

  Lucy opened the eyes she hadn't realized she had shut so tight and saw Harrison standing behind Blake. She hadn't even noticed that anyone was with him. But Blake had that effect on her. She took a steadying breath.

  “Harrison.” She smiled as he hugged her as well. “I had no idea you guys were in town.” That was only half a lie. She knew they were performing at Rocklahoma on Friday—she had tickets to the show. But she had no idea they would be here the day before.

  “We're here on business,” Harrison joked lightly as his eyes shifted to Blake, who hadn't said anything since hugging Lucy. He was still standing way too close to her.

  “Well,” Lucy swallowed and put on her friendliest face, “y'all want some pie?”

  “Only if you have apple,” Blake finally said, pushing his sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head.

  “We always have apple, Blake. You know that.” Lucy remained casual in her demeanor even though she was pretty sure her heart had already started packing its bags to leave her.

  “I'll get it!” Kaylee volunteered, overly excited. “Are these friends of yours, Lucy?” She wasn't being too subtle on wanting an introduction.

  “Yeah.” Lucy thought about how awkward and strange that word was to describe Blake. “They're my friends. Blake is from Pryor but they haven't been back around here for a few years now.” That she knew of, anyway.

  She moved to get coffee behind the counter as the two men sat at the bar. That was good, Lucy needed a barrier in between her and Blake. If she wasn't careful, the heat that radiated from him would be enough to make her forget all the reasons she had asked him to stay away.

  Her eyes were drawn to the ink on his left arm. Red and white lightning wrapped around his forearm and disappeared into dark clouds under his shirt sleeve. She fought back the urge to reach over and run her hand across it, push the sleeve up and see the rest. See what else was new.

  But she couldn't do that. They weren't in that place anymore.

  “I had no idea that Lucy had such famous friends,” Kaylee gushed as she set down pie for both of the musicians. “I mean, everyone knows her father, but that's not the same thing.”

  “I don't know about that, Triny Newton is kind of a big deal to us,” Harrison chuckled.

  “Lucy, why didn't you tell me that you knew these guys?” Kaylee's voice was reaching a higher pitch. She turned back to Harrison. “She has never once mentioned you, I'd remember.”

  Lucy didn't answer, she felt Blake watching her as she set the coffee in front of him. She finally met his sea green eyes and it took every ounce of willpower she had not to melt into the floor. He stared back, unflinching.

  “Are you here to see her play?” Kaylee giggled, and Lucy clenched her jaw. The last thing she wanted was for Blake to see her on stage tonight.

  “You're still playing?” Blake asked her, his tone hopeful. She couldn't keep all of her thoughts straight when she was looking at his face. She broke eye contact and looked over to Harrison, who had finished his pie already.

  “You need more pie, Harry?” she asked, avoiding Blake's question. Not that it mattered, Kaylee wouldn't shut up.

  “She plays every weekend at Red's, duh.” Like the whole room was supposed to know, but she didn't stop there. “She's playing tonight at the—”

  “Festival,” Blake finished for her. Lucy's head jerked up, he had looked down to his plate and begun eating so she couldn't read his expression. Not that she ever really could. He was always thinking one thing and doing another.

  “Yeah!” Kaylee exclaimed. “So you are here to see her!” She leaned on the counter facing Harrison like she was telling a secret. “She's pla
ying for Taylor Stevens, he's very cool.”

  Harrison nodded along, ever the gentleman, as he ate his second piece of pie. Lucy wanted very much to break the coffee pot over Kaylee's head, but decided against it.

  “Can I get a refill, Lucky?” Blake asked from his end of the counter. Lucy's face went hot as she blushed involuntarily.

  “Lucky?” Kaylee frowned, spinning to look at Lucy as she poured the hot liquid into the ceramic mug. She felt the heat increase and radiate out from her ears as she considered sticking her head in the ice box.

  That name coming from those lips wasn't fair. It brought back too much. Made her feel things she had long since buried.

  Blake ignored Kaylee again, focusing on Lucy alone. She wanted to hide in the back. She wanted to get in her car and drive far, far away. She also wanted to fling herself into his arms and never let go. What was he doing to her? Why was he here? He did this every time. He'd show up, act like everything was cool between them, and break her heart as he drove out of town. The last time he had promised it wouldn't happen again. He swore he was never coming back. And yet, she thought as she blew a stray hair out of her face.

  She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. She had to get him to stop whatever it was he thought he was doing. She wouldn't let him have complete power over her this time.

  “Have you been home yet?” She raised her eyebrows at him. His jaw clenched noticeably and she knew it wouldn't take much to set him off. If he could call her Lucky like it wasn't a big deal, then she could tell him to go see his mama.

  “I didn't want to bother her.” Blake drained his coffee and she expected him to get up and prepare to leave. But he remained seated.

  “You always have an excuse.” Lucy saw the storm clouds roll into his eyes but kept going. The only way to guarantee him not coming to see her play tonight would be to piss him off now. Blake could hold a grudge, and she needed him to. For her own sanity. “I'm gonna tell her you were here.”

  “You always know how to wreck a nice visit, you know that?” Blake growled, cooling the atmosphere of the room. Just like a prairie thunderstorm. Hot one minute, cold and dangerous the next. Kaylee fell silent and Harrison hurriedly wiped his mouth with a napkin.

  Lucy didn't flinch, she'd survived Blake's downdrafts before. “Take her some pie. I made extra.” She met his gaze, waiting for the cursing to start. But it never came.

  He simply stood, lowered his aviators and walked towards the exit. Harrison smiled apologetically at her and hustled after him.

  Blake turned at the door and lowered his glasses a fraction so he could have eye contact with her. She heard her heart, bags packed, telling her that it was leaving with him again and she was going to have to deal with it. “I'll see you tonight, Lucky.” His voice was dark and too damn playful. She couldn't respond and he sauntered out into the sunshine.

  Lucy watched him until he was no longer in sight, her hands trembling and her eyes burning with the angry tears that had pushed to the surface.

  “Whoa. There is some history between you guys.” Kaylee's usually peppy voice was hushed. But Lucy understood why. It was because Blake had sucked all the air out of the room when he left.

  She untied her apron and threw it in the bin.

  “I'm leaving early. Mac will be here in fifteen minutes anyway, you'll be fine.” She didn't want to answer any of Kaylee's questions. She didn't want Blake to come to the festival tonight. She didn't want to feel like her insides had just been ripped out and smeared along the sidewalk. Most of all, she did not want Blake Diedrich back in her life.

  ***

  “I just want to say, for the record, that I thought you handled that quite well,” Harrison said encouragingly as they strode down the hot sidewalk. Blake grunted in acknowledgment.

  He didn't say any of the things that he had wanted to say. He knew what she was doing and he wasn't going to be manipulated like that. Especially not by her. Why the hell was she even there in the first place? She was supposed to be in Tulsa. He would have asked, too, if she hadn't made it so obvious that she wanted him to leave. He wasn't going far though, she was playing tonight, there was no frickin' way he was going to miss that. He hated how his soul ached to be near her, to hear her. Even if she did despise him.

  It's why he avoided this entire damn state. His body honed in on her like a frickin' beacon. He hadn't planned on seeing her. When he saw her, he hadn't planned on touching her. But then his arms automatically went where they fit. Her sweet honeysuckle skin and the promise of everything they could have been together was all he could see. She had to know how she affected him. She had to know that when it came to her, he was a wreck. Lost. And she was his North.

  They got back to the buses and Blake went to find Luke. He climbed the steps to his brand new, beautiful white bus and banged his fist on the door. Luke opened it almost immediately and frowned, looking back and forth from Blake to Harrison, concern written on his brow.

  “What's going on?” he asked, not bothering to hide his worry.

  “Who are you scouting tonight?” Blake asked sternly.

  “What is this about, Blake?” Luke stepped outside and came down the stairs as Blake backed away from him.

  “Just tell me now, are you scouting Lucy?” Blake was trying to control his anger, but he knew his voice was louder than necessary. He saw crew heads turn his direction but he didn't care. If Luke knew and he hadn't bothered to tell him, Blake was going to seriously go off.

  “No.” Luke shook his head, eyes wide and confused. “I wouldn't do that to you. I would never do that to you. It's some kid named Taylor Stevens.”

  Blake cursed and stomped a few paces away, bringing both hands up to run through his hair. “She plays for him, Luke!” His voice ricocheted off the buses and the brick building they were parked beside.

  “What? She does? I had no idea.” Luke was obviously just as shocked as Blake had been. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “You want me to call the whole thing off, man? I'll do it, just say the word.”

  Blake took a deep breath and looked across the parking lot, trying to find the right answer in the mirages floating off the hot pavement. Luke really would do that for him. But what if this was Taylor Stevens' best opportunity? He didn't even know this guy, he could very well be discovered by someone else later on down the road. They weren't obligated by any means to change this guy's life.

  But Blake remembered how hard it had been for him to break out of this little town. He didn't want to be the reason someone else's dream came crashing down. Dammit!

  And then there was Lucy... if she really was playing again... this could be the best chance for her to see how talented she really was. He had tried for years to convince her that she was better than this little hick town. Maybe this would break her out of here once and for all.

  Blake didn't know if he could handle it. He brought his hand up to touch the spot where he'd inked her name along his side.

  He'd let her down enough in this life, he couldn't do it again. If they didn't make it as a band, it wouldn't be his fault.

  He faced Luke, his mind made up. “Give them an honest shot. If they're what you're looking for, then... I'll figure out how to be okay with it.”

  “Blake, seriously,” Luke shook his head, “we don't have to do this.”

  “Yes, we do.” Blake was resolved. “I'll be fine. I'll stay away from her... and all that.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair again and trudged towards his own bus, leaving Luke and Harrison behind him.

  He wanted to get frickin' hammered but he wasn't going to do that. He was going to be clearheaded tonight. He hadn't heard her play since... well, it had been far too long.

  Sway was taking a nap on the couch in the main lounge, but the brilliant sunlight that came in with Blake woke him up.

  “Hey, where you been?” Sway asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “And why do you look so pissed?”

  “I went to the diner.” Blake slu
mped into a chair. The heaviness he carried settled across his shoulders.

  “What? I wanted to go with you!” Sway looked hurt.

  “I took Harrison,” Blake mumbled, then closed his eyes and sighed. “She was there, Sway.”

  “Really?” He sat up straighter, worry in his voice. “I thought...?” He didn't finish the question. He didn't have to. Blake had thought the same thing.

  “She wasn't wearing a ring.” It was eating Blake inside to have that information without knowing anything else. It was the second thing he had noticed when he saw her standing in front of him, right after her gorgeous face.

  Sway was quiet for a few seconds. “Maybe she killed him.”

  Blake glared at him before he finally let out a stubborn chuckle. “You never liked Lucy.”

  “It's not that I didn't like her,” Sway explained carefully. “She scared the hell out of me. There's a difference.”

  “Me too,” Blake muttered, feeling that old familiar burn in his chest.

  ***

  It wasn't the biggest crowd Luke had ever seen, but it was fairly large for a local band. His eyes swept over the buzzed audience and he smiled at the memories of playing similar venues in his younger years. Large, open lawn, no chairs, just people milling about and packed densely closer to the stage.

  He squeezed Lenny's hand as they made their way through the crowd. He wanted to be far away to see the entirety of the show. A friend had sent him a demo CD of Taylor Stevens and it had piqued his interest. He knew what the guy sounded like on a recording, now he wanted to see if he had enough stage presence to be viable as an opener. He was still nervous about Lucy being a part of the package, regardless of what Blake said or what promises he had made. She was his kryptonite.

  He found a small patch of open lawn and sat down, pulling Lenny with him. He draped his arm around her back and pulled her to his side.

  “Where's Blake?” Lenny asked, looking around at the people nearby.

  “He and Sway are down in the pit.” Luke gestured to the throng of people at the front of the stage. “They wanted a front row seat.” He had tried to talk them out of it, and he thought Blake should skip the show altogether. But Sway was certain that he'd take care of it if anything happened. Luke still didn't know what that meant. Sway had been right there when Blake had gotten the tattoo. Luke didn't agree with his methods.