The Return To Erda Box Set

by Beca Lewis

  Zeid’s back flinched, and I prayed that he hadn’t heard that series of thoughts. But the flinch made me think that perhaps he did, and now I was in even more trouble than before. Zut. I had to stop this craziness.

  But his disappointment in me, and his belief in me, fueled my desire to find my talents. I didn’t have to make them. I just had to let myself return to them. I had returned to Erda. I could return to being who I was before.

  By then it was time to sleep for the night. Niko had first watch. I was not on the watch list, and I knew why. I would be less than useless.

  It turned out the logs that Ruta had pulled out of the woods weren’t logs at all. They were mats of moss rolled up like a yoga mat. Beru was already on her mat, and she patted the one beside her for me.

  The Priscillas had been quiet the whole time Zeid had been talking to me, but now they started a soothing hum while Beru threw a gathering of leaves on top of me. It was almost as comfortable as my bed back home. “Which home?” I asked myself as I fell asleep. It surprised me to realize that I was thinking of the Castle as home.

  Shatterskin Twenty-Six

  We were up before dawn and were already moving out as the sun peeked up over the horizon, splitting its rays between the trees. Finally, I had become aware enough to notice we had our backs to the rising sun. We were moving west. Was it possible that the portal that opened in Erda had been close to where my home was in the Earth dimension?

  That was something I had neglected to ask, and now I wanted to know. When Beru answered in my head that I was correct, this time I was delighted that she had been listening. It was an intriguing thought that the portal had been near my home all along.

  When Beru projected an image of an open meadow to me, I knew where it was. It was a meadow on a hillside ringed with trees. That meadow had been both a happy and a sad place for me in my Earth life. It was also strange to think of my life as divided between my Earth life and my Erda life. Earth was then. Erda was now.

  When no one corrected me, I knew I was right. I might never go home again. And even if I did, it wouldn’t be the same. “Unless we wipe your memory, Hannah,” Beru said. “And we would never do that unless all is lost here. Then we would send you back to the Earth Realm to be safe. Otherwise, we will not be opening any portal anywhere again until Abbadon is defeated, or it becomes absolutely necessary.”

  The Priscillas on my coat twittered in concern. I reached down and gently pulled Pris’s pigtail. It was the best I could do right then to reassure her.

  As we walked, I kept feeling a presence walking beside me on the left. But every time I looked, nothing was there. Whatever the presence was, it felt dangerous, but not to me. I was attempting to practice awareness when I caught a glimpse of something.

  “Beru, there is something here beside me.” I didn’t say that out loud. I knew that she, and everyone else, was listening in on our common channel.

  “Sure is,” was the response.

  “That’s it? Sure is? What is it? How come you didn’t tell me?”

  “Why do you think? You have got to see these things for yourself. Besides he has been waiting a long time for you to see him. You have to choose to see him.”

  “Him? Long time? How long?”

  “Since you returned to Erda. He waited in the forest outside the Castle.”

  I felt like bopping Beru on the head. Ruta had fashioned a beautiful walking stick for me, and it felt like the perfect thing to use. But I didn’t dare. What would she do in return?

  “Oh, for zut’s sake, Hannah, stop complaining and open up.” That was Ruta of course. Mr. Grump. But he was right.

  I turned my thoughts to the presence walking beside me and addressed it specifically, doing my best to turn off the open channel to everyone else.

  “At least I feel you,” I said. “I’m ready to see you now.”

  Nothing happened. I tried again. “Seriously, I am ready. Show yourself to me.”

  I heard a loud growl. I screamed and stopped in my tracks, dropping my walking stick in the process. Yep, that’s me. The ready to fight at a moment’s notice machine. I was weaponless and scared out of my mind.

  In front of me sat the most massive wolf I had ever seen. Well, I had never seen a live wolf before, so I imagined it was bigger than most wolves. Actually, I wasn’t even sure if it was a wolf. But it looked like pictures I had seen. It was baring its teeth at me. Its piercing gold eyes were locked on me. I was a goner.

  I was too frozen to move. Was I supposed to run? Fight? Use my nonexistent magic? Why wasn’t anyone coming to my rescue? Didn’t they know there was a wolf in front of me ready to attack?

  The next thing I knew Zeid was beside me. “Are you disappointing me again, Hannah?”

  He started walking towards the wolf. “Wait, wait!” I yelled after him and then stopped in embarrassment. Zeid was patting that monster on the head.

  “Please, just open the earth and let me drop through it,” I said to whoever was listening.

  “Get your lazy, fraidy-cat ass over here, Hannah,” Zeid commanded.

  Gathering up my courage, I walked forward. The closer I got to the monster wolf, the more a feeling of deep contentment and love started rolling over me. And the door to my past opened a little bit further.

  “Cahir,” I cried throwing my arms around the wolf and burying my face in his neck.

  Memories of our time together rolled through my mind. Cahir as a pup. His mother delivering him to me personally. Her gift to me. Her precious son, Cahir, a warrior, to stand by me. I sobbed into his fur as he stood waiting for me as he always had.

  Cahir and I didn’t share words. We shared images. I saw his life without me while he waited for my return. He hadn’t aged. Like most beings in Erda, age was chosen. Although there were children, once any being reached the age that they felt was the perfect age for them, their aging slowed dramatically. That stop age was different for everyone.

  Cahir had been almost at his prime when I left. He had chosen to stop there as he waited. While I was gone he aged just enough to be at his prime now. That’s what he showed me. How he had prepared for my return. He showed me the family he had now. A pack of wolves. A wife, and pups.

  “But you are traveling alone,” I whispered to him. His reply was to show his family safe in another place. Shadows of people were around them. I recognized seeing those shadows before, but still didn’t know who they were or where they were.

  “You will, when it’s time,” Zeid said.

  This time instead of being mad at him for listening in, I looked up and smiled at him. I watched as a look of shock and then pleasure passed through him before he smiled back.

  Cahir and Zeid were friends that told me what I had wanted to know. Something I hadn’t realized I was wondering. Could I trust Zeid or not? Now I knew that I could, and that changed so many things for me.

  “Move out, we have a long way to go,” Niko said. Up ahead, Lady drummed as she scouted for a safe way for us to travel.

  Zeid fell into step beside me, and this time I saw Cahir on my left. With the two of them walking with me I felt better than I had in a long time.

  Shatterskin Twenty-Seven

  I could hear Niko and Ruta talking, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying. They had blocked their minds from me which meant I had to know.

  La knew what I wanted, so she flew up to Niko and arranged herself to look like a leaf that had fallen to his coat. The Priscillas’ abilities to camouflage themselves was going to come in handy. Even if my magical gifts never returned, I did have powerful friends. Now with Cahir by my side, I felt ready to take on whatever we were heading into.

  “They were wondering if you would be able to do anything once we reach the village,” La said when she returned.

  “What v
illage, did they say?”

  “I already know where we are going,” La replied. “We are stopping at Beru’s village to pick up supplies. Didn’t she tell you?”

  Now that Cahir walked beside me, Beru often walked with Ruta. It was like watching a tree stump walking with a flower—if such a thing could happen.

  “No, she didn’t. How long until we get there?”

  “Keeping to this pace, we’ll be there before nightfall, but I doubt we’ll all go in at night. Likely they will send a few people up ahead to prepare for our return.”

  I was puzzled. Why wait? Maybe they had warm houses and soft beds that we could sleep in. The thought made me giddy with happiness.

  It was Cil that answered me. “Some people in the village may not like us being there.”

  When I motioned impatiently for her to go on, she added, “Some people think that Beru is a traitor.”

  “What! Why?”

  “Perhaps that is a tale for someone else to tell,” Zeid said breaking into the conversation. He and Cahir took turns walking with me. They also took turns disappearing into the woods. I assumed it was some sort of scouting thing, but neither of them let me in on what they were doing.

  “Who is going to tell it? You?”

  Our conversation was interrupted as I heard Lady’s call and looked up to see her coming toward us. It was an impressive sight. In the Earth dimension, I always thought that pileated woodpeckers looked like miniature dragons. Big birds, tiny dragons.

  Here in Erda, Lady had grown. Every time I saw her, she was bigger than the last time. Now, if Lady landed on my head the way she used to in Earth, I would be squashed. As she circled above us, she no longer looked like a miniature dragon. She looked like a dragon. Smaller than the huge ones I used to see pictures of in books, but at least the size of a car in Earth.

  Honestly, seeing her circle like that, she scared me. I wondered if she had been a dragon all along. A white and black one with flashes of red, but still a dragon. I also wondered if she breathed fire.

  “All that and more,” Zeid said.

  When I turned to look at him to ask more questions, he shook his head and pointed. “I think she has decided that you are ready to see this.”

  Puzzled, I turned back to see that Lady had landed on the ground beside Niko and Aki. As I watched, Lady disappeared, and Suzanne stood in her place. She looked over at me and smiled. Suzanne could have laughed at me instead because I was standing there with my mouth hanging open far enough for a small bird to fly into. I closed my eyes and opened them again. It was still Suzanne.

  She walked towards me and hugged me. I remember thinking that it was good she was hugging me as a woman and not a dragon. Her embrace was warm and comforting. I wasn’t sure what Lady’s would feel like.

  Suzanne took me by the hand and led me over to a nearby rock under the shade of a beautiful old oak. Some of its branches hung so low I could have easily climbed up into the tree. If a tree could listen, it felt as if it was getting ready to enjoy our conversation.

  “I thought you were ready to know about this,” Suzanne said. “Are you?”

  “I think so,” I whispered staring at her. She looked like the Erda Suzanne, the one with black leggings, red tunic, and spiked hair. She answered my unspoken question, “Yes, here in Erda I look more like myself. The bird you called Lady in Earth wasn’t me. I did use her though, with her permission. I flew with her to see you, but she wasn’t a dragon, you see, and I am. The Lady that you saw after you came through the portal with you was me.”

  “So, you’re a shapeshifter? I thought that was a myth.”

  “In the Earth dimension, shapeshifters have been relegated to myth. Just as what we call magic has been boxed into the phrase paranormal. Out of the normal way of being. Erda has never lost the sense of magic. It isn’t out of the normal. It is the normal.”

  Still trying to take in that Suzanne was also a bird-dragon, I asked, “Are there other shapeshifters in Erda?”

  Suzanne took both my hands in hers and said, “There are many things in Erda that you have yet to remember. Perhaps the question of other shapeshifters is something we can discuss at another time. Right now, do you accept that is what I am?”

  When I nodded, yes, she continued. “Good. Because we have work to do, and both Suzanne and Lady will be helping you. Tomorrow we’ll all be going into Kinvar.

  “As you heard, not everyone will be happy to see us, so you will need to be hyper alert. Cahir won’t be coming into the village with you. He’ll be patrolling the borders while you all are there.”

  Nodding at everyone, Suzanne stepped away from me and transformed back into a dragon called Lady. If I would have known, I am not sure I would have called her such a refined name. As a dragon, Lady was beautifully terrifying.

  “Love my name, Lady,” I heard Suzanne say. “Ladies sometimes must be beautifully terrifying to those who attempt to do evil. Something to aspire to, Hannah.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Be a beautifully terrifying woman. You’ll need to be,” Lady said as she headed away into the forest. I watched until I couldn’t see her anymore.

  “You are already beautiful, Hannah,” Zeid said.

  “But not yet terrifying,” Niko added.

  I smiled at Zeid and stared at Niko. No, I didn’t feel beautiful, but I did like hearing Zeid say that I was.

  However, I didn’t do anything to be beautiful, but I was willing to become terrifying. Perhaps there was a store where I could buy it.

  Everyone laughed. Well, at least people thought I was humorous. Maybe that was a start.

  Shatterskin Twenty-Eight

  As Cil and La predicted, we didn’t go into the village that night. As we sat around the campfire that Beru had brought into existence, I waited for someone to tell me what was going on. Just before I was ready to open my mouth and ask about the village and Beru, Pris pulled my hair and hissed, “Not now. Just wait.”

  It hurts when a fairy pulls your hair, so l shut up. Okay, I pouted and shut up. To take my mind off of talking, I settled into eating and staring at the fire. We always had food. Somehow. It was as if the food came to us, like the water. We never had leftovers, and everyone had what they liked, or needed to eat. I didn’t always know what I was eating, but it always tasted good.

  Yes. I knew I was spoiled. People took care of me all of the time. As we walked, Niko would have me practicing some of the moves that he had taught me back at the Castle.

  Aki gave me walking meditation exercises to do, and I thought that my awareness of what was around me was improving. Then one of them would sneak up on me, and I knew I was still failing.

  Beru told me that I had to trust that my skills would return. As Princess Kara Beth I had been considered a powerful mage. Right.

  “Snap out of it, Hannah,” Pris hissed again. “If you keep on letting yourself fall into that poor-me point of view you are worse than useless. Besides, Beru is ready.”

  I looked up and saw that Beru was standing beside Ruta waiting for me to notice. Everyone was. My face turned bright red but I caught myself before I started falling into my mode of beating myself up. Actually, it was Pris looking right into my eyes that stopped me from descending into my pity party. Her little tiny wings were flapping furiously, and her face could have halted a wall of water.

  Once Beru saw that she had my attention she began. She told us that the village we had come to was the village where most of her family still lived and had lived for thousands of years. They had been content. Like most beings in Erda, they lived a long time after the age where they stopped growing. She reminded me that beings in Erda didn’t die from old age. They died if they were killed, an accident occurred, or they chose to move on.

  Beru had family that had lived for perhaps a thou
sand years. No one counted years in Erda as it wasn’t important. What was important was how well they lived in harmony with each other and with the land.

  That was true not just for her village but for all of the Erda dimension where Abbadon didn’t rule, which for a long time was most of the planet. However, Abbadon was never content. He always wanted more, so he began to extend his rule past his homeland.

  Rumors of Abbadon’s reign of destruction had come to the village, but no one took them seriously. Life was too good. The little magic they practiced provided for a happy life. However, hearing the rumors, Beru had grown discontent. She often wandered past the village grounds into the forest where she met Ruta. He too had become worried because of the rumors, even though his people also did not believe them. They often walked the woods together and discussed what they had heard about Abbadon.

  When they were in their youth, Beru and Ruta had heard about the Evil One who lived to the west. However, Abbadon was considered a fairy tale, a myth, not a reality. Not a threat.

  Ruta and Beru often walked for days to see what the rest of their world was like. No one worried when they were gone, because no one believed in an Evil One. Besides, Beru and Ruta were hundreds of years old and had much-accumulated wisdom between the two of them.

  One day they had walked so far they reached mountains far to the west of their home. After debating whether or not to climb the mountain, they decided to give it a try. After all, they reasoned, they would probably never come this way again.

  What they found when they reached the top was so terrifying they couldn’t take it in at first. Far into the distance, past the forest that spilled down the mountain and across the valley, Ruta and Beru saw emptiness. No trees. None as far as their eyes could see. Only a barren, brown, and broken landscape.