Tempting Their Racy Shrink [Racy Nights 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tara Rose

“Part of it was, but what I’m trying to say is that while those things used to be an important part of this lifestyle for me, what I’d rather have is someone who trusts me, and someone who understands above all else that this is a relationship. We’re still people, you and me. Without trust, we don’t have anything.”

  His voice had taken on a desperate quality. Was he referring to her and Sean, or something else entirely? “I agree, Maddox. Any relationship is built first on mutual respect and trust, or there’s no foundation for the rest of it.”

  He squeezed her hand again. “I knew you’d understand. Julie, I don’t know where this is going with us. And please don’t misunderstand that. I care about you. I care about you a lot. In a short time, you’ve touched a place inside me that I thought was dead.”

  He stopped speaking and watched her reaction. Julie was too stunned to do anything except cling to his hand and blink back tears again.

  “And I know you care about me, but I also know you and Sean have a thing going as well. I’m not going to sit here and lie to you. That’s hard for me to swallow. Not because I hate Sean—I don’t. But because I’m a selfish bastard, and I’d rather have you all to myself.”

  Her heart soared at his words. It was more than she’d ever have expected from Maddox McCree.

  “But I’ll tell you this much because I do know that it’s a certainty. I’m not going to risk losing you, even if that means I have to share you with Sean. As for the sub issue, you’re doing great.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it in a sweet, old-fashioned gesture. “I really mean that. For a woman who I’m quite certain never had any experience with most of the things Sean and I have introduced you to, you’re amazing. You’re not only beautiful and sexy, but you’re fearless and willing to try anything. You’re submissive, Julie. Don’t worry about that, okay?”

  She nodded, unable to speak.

  “We’ll ease into it as needed if you decide this is what you really want. But for right now, I just want you to know that I’m so very happy you came to Alexa’s party. And I’m so grateful for the gift of your body, and your mind, and your trusting spirit.”

  “It is what I want, Maddox. It’s always been what I’ve wanted, but I didn’t understand how to find it, or anything really. I only knew I had fantasies I couldn’t put into words. But you and—you and Sean—have made so many of them come true. But I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know how to be a submissive.”

  Maddox smiled so tenderly that this time Julie couldn't stop the tears. She blinked rapidly and one ran down her left cheek. He took off his glove and reached over to wipe it away. “No one does, Julie. There’s no manual. We’ll define it as we go, okay?”

  “But I mean, don’t you have expectations or something?”

  He gave her a thoughtful look. “Would a well-defined structure make you feel more comfortable in the role?”

  She nodded. “Yes. Yes it would.”

  “What are you afraid will happen without it?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t want to look foolish in front of either of you.”

  “Have we done or said something to make you feel that way?”

  She shook her head. “Oh no, not at all.”

  “Okay then. I’ve already given you expectations, but perhaps you didn’t realize it?”

  Julie frowned for a moment, trying to recall anything he might have said along those lines, and then she remembered her first night at his house. “The pantyhose?”

  He grinned and her panties flooded. “Definitely the pantyhose. And the second time you showed up dressed in what I asked you to wear, and you had on the perfume I sent you.” He leaned close and inhaled. “You’re wearing it now.” His gaze traveled over her body. “And you’re not wearing tweed or pantyhose. At least I don’t think you are.”

  She laughed. “No pantyhose or tweed.”

  “Good. Throw all that shit out. In fact, I should take you clothes shopping in Chicago.”

  “I’d like that, Maddox. I really would.”

  “Then we’ll do it.”

  She swallowed hard. “Know what else I’m wearing?”

  His eyes twinkled with light. “What?”

  “Red underwear.”

  Maddox groaned. “Well, I’ll have to take a look at that later to make sure I approve.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Julie squirmed in her seat, glad that she’d said something about her lingerie. She’d bought it at Kari’s shop, too. She was getting braver every day.

  Several patrons walked out of the bar and Maddox turned off the motor. “We’d better get inside before I change my mind and drive you back to my house.”

  She wouldn’t complain about that, but it would defeat the whole purpose of this evening. This was important for Maddox, and Julie was looking forward to being out in public with him. As soon as they walked in, Julie scanned the crowd. She recognized just about everyone in there. Just as there had been stares and fingers pointing, along with a fair share of heads bent close and hands held to mouths while the person whispered when she’d been spotted with Sean at Nan’s Place, patrons here reacted to her presence with Maddox. Whether that was because Maddox was out in public or Julie was with him—or both—she wasn’t sure.

  She watched while he calmly removed his other glove and unbuttoned his coat as if he were standing in his own foyer. If he noticed anyone’s reaction it didn’t show. How did he stay so damn cool and unaffected? She unbuttoned her coat, glancing to her left when she heard Kari call out her name.

  Kari waved them over, and she took Maddox’s offered arm as they wove their way toward a table near the back. She glanced toward the bar and saw Luke’s older brother, Rafe, and Ria, one of his sisters, tending bar. Rafe waved at her. They’d been in the same grade, and Julie remembered Rafe as one of the good guys.

  “Glad you two made it,” said Kari as Luke pulled over two empty chairs from another table. Kari squeezed closer between Noah and Adison to make room for Julie and Maddox. Noah sat next to Chase, and Alexa sat between him and Luke. Maddox waited until Julie took the seat next to Noah before sitting between her and Chase. Julie glanced at Noah and smiled. She hardly recognized him now. He’d grown up with horribly abusive parents and had once been considered one of the worst losers in town. Now he was a research and development specialist at Notus, and had completely turned his life around.

  “How are you, Julie?” asked Kari.

  “I'm fine, Kari. And Happy Birthday.” Julie glanced around. “I haven’t been here in years.”

  “The drinks are great, but don’t order any food.”

  “Hey…that’s not fair.” Luke gave her a mock wounded frown. “Ria’s cooking for me now. The food is delicioso.”

  Kari shook her head. “Don’t listen to him. Ria isn’t a good cook. We’re all going to Nan’s Place later.”

  Everyone laughed, but Julie felt like she was on the outside of an inside joke. She realized that she’d grown up in the same town with everyone at this table except Alexa, but she knew next to nothing about most of their day-to-day lives.

  A dark-haired woman with big brown eyes that Julie didn’t recognize came up to the table and asked Julie and Maddox if they wanted anything. Julie glanced around. Everyone except Alexa and Kari had a beer in front of them. Alexa was drinking what Julie assumed was juice, and Kari had a mixed drink. “Um…rum and Coke please.”

  Maddox ordered a beer, and Luke introduced the server to Julie and Maddox. “Annalise Kerr, Julie Carruthers—the best shrink in town—and Maddox McCree. Annalise moved here from Cincinnati.”

  “Nice to meet you, Annalise.” Julie shook her hand.

  “I’ll get your drinks. Does everyone else want a second round?”

  “Sure,” said Chase. “We’ll need them if Alexa doesn’t stop talking about Johnny Depp.”

  Everyone laughed again, and when Annalise left to get their drinks, Noah explained. “Kari and Ale
xa went to the movies last week. They’ve been drooling over Johnny Depp ever since, so we’re playing a drinking game tonight. Every time one of them says his name, the guys take a drink.”

  Julie grinned. “Sounds like maybe you’re all a bit jealous?”

  “Oh, I see,” said Chase. “The girls are gonna stick together on this one.”

  Alexa pumped her fist in the air. “Sweet! Julie’s on our side.”

  “Maddox, you’re awfully quiet,” said Adison. “What do you think of Johnny Depp?”

  Annalise put Julie’s drink and Maddox’s beer down then proceeded to pass out fresh drinks to the rest. Maddox picked up his beer and held in front of his face. “Well, he’s not here, but we are.” He took a large sip, and the guys all did the same.

  “Good old Maddox,” said Noah. “Always neutral.”

  “Keeps me out of trouble,” he said.

  “It’s too bad Sean couldn’t be here tonight,” said Kari.

  Julie didn’t miss the anxious look that passed across Maddox’s face. What was that about?

  “Yeah, he said something about a stake-out,” said Chase. “Some guy he knew in Chicago is here in Racy.”

  Maddox nearly choked on his beer. Everything Sean had said to her yesterday in her office came flooding back. Was that what he hadn’t wanted to tell her? The stakeout was on someone he’d known in Chicago? Was he in danger? Maddox and Chase obviously knew what was going on. Julie tried not to be upset that they’d kept her in the dark, but why had Sean told Maddox and Chase and not her? He’d placated her by saying there were things about her job he couldn’t tell her, but then why tell two others?

  She took a sip of her drink, hoping the gesture covered up her shock and confusion. Hadn’t she and Maddox just finished talking about trust? Did she trust Sean? Yes, she did. Maddox had lived in Chicago as well. Perhaps that was the reason Sean had told Maddox? But what about Chase? She knew Sean and Chase were good friends, but there had to be another reason Sean had told him. He didn’t strike her as the kind of man who would slip up like that.

  Maddox was watching her carefully, which only added certainty to Julie’s theory that he knew what was going on, but she didn’t want to spoil this evening for him. She forced a bright smile and turned her attention to the group.

  Alexa was animated tonight, cracking jokes and obviously finding a way to introduce Johnny Depp into the conversation on purpose, just so she and Kari could laugh as the guys grimaced and took another drink. Julie played along, finding ways to say his name as well, and finally she noticed Maddox relax, smile, and look less like he was worried about her and more like he was having as much fun as the rest of the guys.

  Julie hadn’t gone out in groups like this very much in college, and certainly not since then. Her social life had consisted mainly of faculty dinners and conventions, where the boldest thing she occasionally did was stay up until one or two in the morning, talking to colleagues she hadn’t seen since her undergrad days. How had she become this socially awkward? Even Maddox looked more relaxed than she felt right now.

  “Julie, are you and Maddox coming to Nan’s Place with us?” Alexa’s face was filled with hope, and Julie was touched that they wanted both of them to continue their evening with the group. “Or do you have to get up early for work?”

  She did, but suddenly she didn't care. She hadn’t had this much fun among a group of people in a long, long time, and she didn’t want the evening to end. But what about Maddox? She glanced at him, a question in her eyes.

  “I’d love to go,” he said quietly, “but only if you can come along.”

  He meant it. If he was disappointed that also meant they probably wouldn’t be going back to his house afterwards, it didn’t show. As much as Julie would love to do that, she also knew how important it was for him to be out in public tonight. She smiled. “I’d love to.”

  * * * *

  They all walked to Nan’s Place, and Maddox hung back a bit to ask Julie if she was all right staying up this late. She glanced up at him. “I don’t want to go home yet. I’m having too much fun.”

  His smile made her nipples tingle. “I am, too. You know, you could play hookey tomorrow.”

  “What?”

  “You could stay home tomorrow. Call in sick.”

  Julie laughed. “You aren’t going to believe this. I have never taken a sick day. Not once since I opened my practice.”

  “I’m shocked.”

  She stopped walking to study his face. “No you aren’t. You’re teasing me.”

  They began to walk again as Maddox chuckled. “Julie, tell me the truth. When was the last time you were out like this with a group of friends?”

  She shivered as a gust of cold wind blew in between the buildings. Up ahead, Alexa laughed and began to run toward the warm inviting neon glow of Nan’s Place. “Come on,” she called to the others. “I’m freezing out here.”

  “Never,” said Julie. “I’ve never done this.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he said gently. “So take one day off. Just one. Do it for all of us.”

  Julie stood outside, teeth chattering against the cold, as the others went inside.

  “Go on,” said Maddox, as Chase turned to ask if they were coming inside. “We’ll be right in.”

  Julie waited until the others had gone in, and then she made a split-second decision. “Okay. But I need to call Linda right now.”

  “Can you do it inside?”

  She shook her head. “Too many people might overhear. My clients all live here, remember? I just hope none of them saw me in Luke’s Bar, or are in there right now.”

  “The scandal would make front page news.” Maddox’s grin was sexy, but Julie didn’t think he quite understood the significance of what she’d just said.

  “Maddox, it would be a scandal. At least for me it would be. These people come to me for help. If they saw me drinking at a bar or out late eating, and then got a voice mail or text from Linda telling them that I had to reschedule their appointment because I was ill, I’d lose all credibility in their eyes.”

  Maddox frowned. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Julie. I guess I didn’t think this through.” He cut his gaze to the entrance of Nan’s Place. “What do you want to do?”

  Julie bit her lip, trying to decide what was best. Maddox hadn’t been out in public in a long time—probably longer than she even knew. But if even one client had seen her tonight, or would see her in Nan’s Place, her career might be jeopardized. “Let me take a peek inside and make sure none of my clients are in there. Then if they aren’t, I’ll call Linda.”

  He smiled. “That’s a solid plan, Julie. I’ll go in and explain to the group.”

  Julie walked inside and quickly scanned the room. She recognized just about everyone, but none of her clients were inside. “Safe,” she said quietly. “I’ll be right in.”

  Maddox walked toward the group while Julie slipped back outside and made the call. She hadn’t felt this guilty since the one time in eleventh grade when she’d skipped afternoon classes to drive to Indy with a couple of her friends. She’d talked her mother into calling the office to say Julie had come home at lunch and was ill. That night she’d had terrible dreams about the police coming to her door, and when her friends had wanted to do the same thing a couple of months later, she’d refused.

  After she spoke with Linda, who was shocked that Julie was taking time off and wanted to come right over with chicken soup, she went inside and joined the group. They’d pushed two tables together at the back of the room and Maddox patted the seat next to him.

  As she sat down, he leaned close to whisper in her ear. “I chose this seat so you can sit with your back to the door.”

  “Thank you.”

  He kissed her forehead gently. “No, thank you for doing this tonight.”

  “Okay,” said Kari, giving Julie and Maddox a big grin. “You two gonna eat or should we just pretend you aren’t here?”

  Julie blushed
as everyone chuckled, but Maddox didn’t even look fazed. He picked up a menu and scanned it quickly. Julie didn’t have to look at one. She knew what the food in here was like, plus she’d been here with Sean just over a week ago. That realization made Julie stop and realize it had been less than two weeks since Alexa’s birthday party at Maddox’s house. Her life had changed so much in such a short time that it was almost unbelievable.

  If one of her clients had come to her and told her they’d experienced all the things she’d gone through in less than two weeks, Julie would have assumed they were stretching the truth at best. Funny how her rigid assumptions about how relationships were supposed to work had just turned her carefully orchestrated world on its ear.

  She watched the easy way Kari interacted with Noah and Adison. How long had it taken her to realize she was in love with them? Kari and Adison had dated in high school but then Kari had moved to Manhattan to attend college, and they’d drifted apart. Adison had even been married for a short time. But then Kari moved back home to Racy last summer, she and Adison got back together in the fall at the same time Noah and Kari fell in love. How long had it taken her to realize she could love two men at the same time? And how had Noah and Adison come to an agreement to share Kari’s life and her bed?

  Julie’s reverie was interrupted as the group ordered their meals. After she gave hers, she scanned their faces. Everyone at this table, with the exception of her and Maddox, was in a relationship.

  Kari was a submissive to both Noah and Adison, and the three didn’t even try to hide it. The collar they’d presented to her—a thin silver necklace with a trio of silver hearts that each sported tiny diamonds—was visible around her neck. Julie hadn’t seen her without it since Noah and Adison had given it to her. Not only had Racy embraced Kari’s return and the opening of Tye Me Up, they had accepted her relationship with Noah and Adison. If people thought it shocking or immoral, Julie hadn’t heard the gossip.

  And then there was Alexa. She’d had to overcome horrible abuse as a teen and young adult at the hands of her mother’s boyfriends, and an abusive Dom in New York to find love with both Luke and Chase. Chase had been a Dom before he met Alexa, but Luke hadn’t been.