by Tara Rose
She was now submissive to both of them, and although they didn’t try to hide their ménage relationship, they weren't quite as open about it as Noah, Adison and Kari were. As Julie watched Alexa, she realized the progress she’d made in the last month, and she knew that Luke and Chase had as much to do with that as anything. She also knew exactly when Alexa had realized she was in love with both men because they’d talked about it in a session.
Before two weeks ago, Julie had strong reservations that it was possible to love two men at the same time, or to be in a permanent relationship with both. She didn’t have anything against that, of course, but she couldn’t imagine how it would work. Now, she could not only imagine it, but she’d begun to wonder what it would be like to have the kind of relationships that Kari and Alexa had. And she’d begun to wonder if she’d ever have that relationship with Maddox and Sean.
The group had started talking about books that had been made into movies, and since Julie was able to contribute, she gladly cut off thoughts that she was falling in love with Maddox and Sean to join in the conversation. She’d only been in love once—with the prick during her graduate studies—but she didn’t want to think about him tonight. She wanted to enjoy her night of playing hookey, as Maddox had called it.
And she most definitely didn’t want her mind going into the dark and lonely certainty that she was falling in love with both Sean and Maddox, because that would mean she’d start to wonder if they could ever both love her. If she went down that road, she’d have to admit that she wanted exactly what Kari and Alexa both had. She’d have to admit she wanted to love them both, and have them love her in return, and that she wanted to be their submissive.
Chapter Nineteen
Maddox pulled into the garage, and Julie realized it was the first time she’d seen the back of his house. Soft light shone from carefully placed coach lights on the house itself, and lined the walkway to a back door. Once they were inside, Maddox turned on the lights in the hallway and led Julie into the kitchen.
She gasped and turned in a slow circle. “Good Lord, Maddox. You could get lost in here.”
He chuckled softly. “It’s a cavern, isn’t it? When I had this house built, my father talked me into having a large kitchen, even though I can’t cook worth shit. He said I could hire people to do that, and that I’d never regret being able to feed half the town if I wanted to.”
She leaned against the counter and watched him select a bottle of wine from a full-sized wine refrigerator set into a stone alcove. “And exactly how many times have you had to do that?”
He grinned as he opened it, and her clit began to throb. “Not once yet. But if we ever have an epic disaster, I could probably house most of Racy here, and then you’d all appreciate this kitchen.”
Julie laughed. “And so would you, right?”
Maddox glanced around. “You know, I have no clue what some of this stuff even does.”
“Well you’re asking the wrong person. My idea of cooking is to pop something into the microwave or make a phone call and hope they deliver.”
Maddox picked up two glasses by their stems and walked toward Julie with them and the bottle. “You’re a woman after my own heart, Julie.”
She sighed, remembering her crazy musings from earlier. They were lovely words, but it was unlikely that a Dom like Maddox would seriously entertain losing his heart to a woman like her.
“Would you like to take the wine into the library? All that talk about books tonight has me in a literary mood.”
“All right.” She’d expected him to lead her straight to his bedroom, and wondered why he hadn’t done so, but she wasn’t about to ask. Julie sat on the sofa in the library sipping wine while she watched Maddox run a finger along the spines of books that looked very old. “What are you looking for?”
“Something special…ah. Here it is.” He pulled out a faded book and took a seat next to her, a wicked smile on his face. “I think you’ll like this. Something Kari said about making old literature into movies reminded me of this passage.” He opened it, leafing through the pages, and then began to read.
And now, disengaged from the shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise, what? Not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions been observed, it must have belonged to a young giant. Its prodigious size made me shrink again, yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventured to feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory. Perfectly well turned and fashioned, the proud stiffness of which distended its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout of black curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of which the fair skin shewed as in a fine evening you may have remarked the clear light ether through the branchwork of distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill. Then the broad and bluish-cast incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of its veins, altogether composed the most striking assemblage of figure and colors in nature. In short, it stood an object of terror and delight.
Julie giggled. “All that just to describe a penis.”
“But isn’t it amazing? I mean they wrote entire books like this. And people read them. All those lost words we no longer use. I just love to read books from this era, especially the erotic ones.”
Maddox placed the book on the coffee table and Julie gasped. “Oh my goodness, Maddox. I just realized where that passage is from. Fanny Hill. How old is this copy?”
“It’s a first edition. Took me forever to track it down.”
“Holy shit.” She reached a hand toward it then pulled back.
“It’s okay, Julie. You can touch it.” He picked it up and handed it to her. Julie turned a few pages, but they felt as delicate as onionskin and she was afraid to take a chance on tearing them.
“I handle these books all the time,” he said.
“Yeah, but they belong to you. If you crack the binding or tear a page, it’s your own doing.”
He took the book and placed it on the table again, then fixed her with an intense gaze. Julie’s pulse quickened. “Is that what you’re afraid of, Julie? Breaking something?”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I think you do,” he said softly, caressing her cheek. “I think you’re so fearful of doing or saying the wrong thing—the improper thing—that you just can’t let go.” He kissed her gently, more as a gesture of affection than he would kiss a lover. “I think you were more uncomfortable tonight with the others than I was.”
“They’re your friends, Maddox. I don’t see them socially the way you do.”
“They like you, Julie. It’s impossible not to like you.”
Julie’s heart hammered in her ears so loudly she was sure he could hear it. Her mouth had gone bone dry, but she tried to swallow anyway. The impulse to ask was strong, and this time she didn’t push it away. This time she followed it. “And what about you, Maddox? How do you feel about me?”
A quick flash of surprise greeted her question, but then the corners of his mouth turned up and he leaned back against the sofa cushions, crossing one ankle over the opposite knee. “Julie, I’m proud of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you asked me a direct question without blushing or stammering, and you looked me right in the eyes when you did it. You haven’t done that before.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.” He uncrossed his ankle and leaned forward. Julie breathed in the scent of his cologne. The urge to just kiss him and forget about her damn question was strong. “I’m smitten with you, Julie. Totally smitten. And I’ll be honest. It surprises me, not because of who you are, but because it’s been a very long time since I let a woman get under my skin like this.”
“How do you feel about that?” Every nerve ending was on fire. She didn’t want to know the answer to that question, but she a
lso had the uncomfortable certainty that everything else hung on it.
He grinned. “You’re playing shrink with me.”
“What? Oh…oh, shit. Maddox, I’m sorry. The question just slipped out. I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
“I know you didn’t. You can’t help it any more than I can help being what I am. But I will tell you how I feel about it because I recognize how important it is for you to know. I’m terrified, Julie. I really am. But at the same time I’m welcoming this because you excite me and you intrigue me. I find you incredibly sexy, but in a way I also find you forbidden, because you work so hard to maintain a professional, proper persona. I love that you want to learn about the lifestyle I’m in, and I’m honored that you’ve done so many of the things I’ve asked you to do. I never expected this.”
“Neither did I, Maddox.” Julie brushed impatiently at the tears coursing down her cheeks. She wanted him to understand. She wanted him to know all of it. “I’ve wanted this for so long…I can hardly even admit that to myself. I didn’t even understand what I wanted. I only knew that I wanted to be spanked, and have someone else in control, and I wanted to feel like I belonged to someone.”
He smiled, and his eyes shone with light.
“But at the same time, I thought that meant giving up everything I’ve worked for, including my career. I didn’t know I could have both.” She stopped because she didn’t want him to think she’d assumed anything about their relationship, including the fact that they actually had one. She realized she had no idea if he wanted what she did, and she suddenly felt embarrassed for having said this much.
“Don’t stop, Julie. Tell me what you want.”
She swallowed again and didn’t say anything. His scent filled her head. The sound of the warm fire crackling at the other end of the room competed with her breathing, loud and shallow.
“Go on, Julie. I want to hear you say it.” His voice was soft and sexy, just the way it had been the first night she’d been in this room with him. Had that really only been twelve days ago? So much had happened since then that she felt as if that night had been twelve years ago.
“I want to be your submissive.”
He stroked her hair gently. “Thank you, Julie. You have no idea what that means to me. But what about Sean? I need to know where he fits in with what you want.”
Shit. Of course he would need to know that. “I want him, too. I want to be a sub to both of you.” Wow. She’d actually said it out loud. No matter what happened now, she’d finally voiced her deepest, darkest desire out loud.
Maddox nodded slowly. “I guess I already knew that, but thank you for saying it, Julie.”
They stared into each other’s eyes for long moments. Julie was afraid to move. Had she done the wrong thing by telling him? “What happens now?” she asked quietly. Would he reject her? Had she fucked things up completely with him by telling him what he’d already suspected?
“Sean and I will need to talk. But he’s not here right now.” Maddox moved closer and brushed away her tears, and then he kissed her. It started out gentle, but it quickly became intense and rough.
Julie welcomed it. She threw one leg over his thigh the way she’d done the first night she’d been with him, and he took off her boot and ran his hand up her thigh. When he reached her groin, he parted her legs and rubbed her pussy through her jeans. She was soaking wet already, and all she wanted was to be naked with him.
He moved his hand to her breasts and squeezed one through her sweater as he continued to assault her mouth with his lips and tongue. Julie moaned into his mouth and moved her hand to his groin to stroke his dick through his pants. He was rock hard.
He released her mouth to plant soft kisses and tiny bites along her jawline and over both nipples through her clothes. When he gently pushed her against the sofa so that she was lying on her back, he teased her pussy through the denim with his mouth and hands.
Julie tangled her fingers in his hair and whimpered, aching for release, but she knew Maddox wasn’t going to let her off that easily. He straightened up and gave her a molten look of desire. “No one is here tonight. Would you like to play in the main room?”
“Oh, yes…yes I would, Sir.”
Maddox smiled and held out his hand. Julie took it and followed him, wanting to ask if everything was all right between them, but not sure what to do. As he opened the doors to the main playroom, she held back before stepping across the threshold. She had to know. “Maddox, are you all right with what I told you?”
He turned and gave her a look she couldn’t interpret. “Julie, I’ve never shared a sub. I don’t know how I’ll react to it, but I do know one thing.” He cupped her face gently. “I know I’m not going to give you up, and if that means I have to share you, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Sean and I were good friends for a long time. We’ve had our differences over the years, but I have a feeling that you’re going to help us get past all those and be friends again.”
Julie let out a sigh. “So we’re okay then?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Do you think I’d have kissed you if we weren’t? Now get your lovely ass in here before I act like a caveman and throw you over my shoulder.”
Julie laughed as that image rose in her mind, and before she could react, Maddox did exactly what he said he’d do. He picked her up and tossed her over his left shoulder as if she weighed nothing more than a sack of flour.
She was laughing so hard it was difficult to catch her breath. When he finally let her down, they stood before a bench with more attachments than Julie could count. It was similar to the one he and Sean had restrained her to in Maddox’s bedroom.
Maddox kissed her again, briefly but with enough passion to make her moan and her clit throb. When he released her mouth, he ordered her to undress slowly. “Make it sexy, like you’re standing on stage and stripping just for me.”
Julie wasn’t sure she could do it, but she did try. The wicked smile on his face and the way he kept rubbing the front of his pants told her that she must be doing all right. When she was naked, he ordered her to bend over the bench. The sound of his voice nearly made her come.
“That’s it,” he said softly, helping her to get into position. “Now I’m going to restrain your limbs.” Her lower abdomen was bent over a leather seat, and her forearms rested on smaller pads, also leather. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but she was completely exposed. He could reach her breasts, her pussy, and her ass with ease. He fastened cuffs to her wrists and clipped them to the sides of the pads, and then he put cuffs around her ankles and told her to spread her legs wide apart. Julie moaned as she heard him clip the cuffs to the bottom of the bench.
Maddox caressed her ass cheeks. “Seems someone has been recently spanked quite hard.”
Shit. He wouldn’t have known about her afternoon delight with Sean the day before.
“Want to tell me about it, Julie?”
“Will you be upset?”
He lightly slapped each cheek. “Of course not, silly girl. But I do want to know about it.”
“Sean made an appointment under a fake name. My office manager can apparently be bribed with chocolate.”
“Oh, I see.” Maddox chuckled softly. “How ingenious.”
“Yeah, that’s one way to look at it.”
Maddox walked over to the wall and opened a cabinet. Julie watched him pick up a leather riding crop, and she bit back a groan. This was going to sting. “Did you enjoy that, Julie?”
She didn’t want to talk about it right now. Maddox also took a small paddle out of the cabinet and this time Julie couldn’t stop the loud moan.
He turned to look at her. “I asked you a question.”
“Yes…yes, Sir, I did.”
He slapped the paddle against one palm then tapped his leg with the riding crop, as if testing it. “I’m not sure if I should punish you for not telling me, or for looking so fucking delicious right now, bent over that bench and waiting for me.
What do you think, Julie? Which transgression should I punish?”
Julie began to whimper.
“You don’t have to answer.” He began to walk toward her, still tapping his thigh with the riding crop. “I’ll just punish you for both.”
“Maddox…”
He smacked her left ass cheek hard with the crop. It stung like crazy, and Julie cried out.
“What did you call me?”
“Sir.”
He struck her right cheek. “That’s better. Do you like this? I don’t believe we’ve used one of these on you yet, have we?”
“No, Sir.”
Maddox laid the riding crop across her back and caressed her ass cheeks with one hand, while he reached around and tapped her breasts with the paddle. Julie moaned softly.
“I want to try something new.” He walked over to the cabinet again and opened a drawer. Julie couldn’t see what he carried until he moved it closer to her face. They looked like small silver hooped earrings with a ball in the middle.
“Do you know what these are?”
“No, Sir.”
“Nipple clamps. They won’t hurt. May I put them on?”
“They won’t hurt?”
Maddox caressed her left nipple and Julie moaned again. “If you don’t like them I’ll take them off.”
“All right.”
He put them on and squeezed gently to tighten them around each nipple. The sensation was similar to when he pinched them between his fingers, and it sent tiny electric jolts straight to her throbbing clit.
“What do you think, Julie?”
“I like it, Sir.”
“Good girl.” He moved behind her again and tapped her pussy with the paddle until Julie began to squirm against the seat. She was soaking wet, and the nipple clamps added to her arousal. When Maddox slid the riding crop off her back, she knew what he was going to do and she groaned out loud.