A Lonely Sky

by Linda Schmalz

  Julia took a long sip of the tart, refreshing liquid. “That’s nice. Why don’t we sit down?”

  “Sure!” John grabbed a kitchen chair.

  Julia sat across the table. Her throat clamped tight and her stomach knotted. This was much harder than she imagined it would be.

  She cleared her throat. “John, I can’t go out with you Friday night.” She stared at her glass, unable to look him in the eye as she smashed his world.

  “Why? You need to baby-sit? ‘Cause we could go Saturday night instead.”

  Julia sighed. “No, I’m not babysitting and I can’t go Saturday night either.”

  “Oh.” He sounded disappointed but not disturbed. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I mean, well, a lot, but I’m not sure how to tell you.”

  John set his glass on the table. His eyes drew sad and serious. “I don’t think you have to. Then the rumor is true?”

  “What rumor?” Julia’s body went rigid. Did he know about Sam? Had Kim, Chris or Bob told everyone she went to London?

  John spoke between clenched teeth. “The rumor that you’re going out with Bob!”

  “Bob?” Julia stared in horror. That rumor was worse than the truth! “I can’t stand Bob!”

  Relief washed over John’s face. His color returned as he sat back in his chair and wiped his brow. “Oh thank God.” He laughed, embarrassed. “It’s just that he’s been bragging that he partied with you in Germany.”

  Julia cringed. “I’m not with Bob.” She took a breath and delved in. “But what I’m trying to say is that I did meet someone on the trip.”

  John stared at her, confused. “Who?”

  “A guy…a man-,” she stammered. This was so difficult. “He’s an actor in England, but I met him in Germany.”

  John leaned towards her, his body tense, his eyes riveted to her.

  She tried to speak, but stopped. Hurting John was the last thing on earth she wanted to do, but she couldn’t stay in this glorified friendship. Especially now that she knew what love was. She somehow continued. “We’re together now.”

  “What the heck does that mean?” John’s voice shook and beads of perspiration formed above his brow. “He’s your boyfriend? You’re breaking up with me?”

  “No. Yeah.” Julia swallowed and grasped for the words to make this easier. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I fell in love with him.”

  “And you fell out of love with me? Just like that?” John snapped his fingers and the sound unnerved Julia. Anger marred his normally kind face. She wanted to cry. John had never been cross with her, ever.

  “No.” Julia knew she was about to twist the knife in the wound she just opened. “I realized, by being with someone else, that I don’t love you like I should.”

  “And what does that mean?”

  “Stop asking me that!” Julia snapped. “It means I can’t see you anymore!”

  John rose and stormed towards the hallway. Julia jumped up to follow. “John, wait! I didn’t say it right!”

  “You said it just fine,” he yelled over his shoulder. “I guess all you needed from me was a prom date!”

  “I didn’t say that!” Julia rushed down the hall after him. “I’ll always love you, you’ll always be my friend-”

  John turned on her. “I don’t want to be your friend, Julia! I’ve been your friend since kindergarten.” He turned and spoke with a pained laugh. “And to think I thought, maybe, after we both got settled in jobs we’d-” He paused. “But never mind that now.”

  She reached for his hand but he pulled away. “I’m sorry, I really am. I had no idea this would happen.”

  He headed to the front door, but stopped and turned once more. “You know, you might want to save that apology. You’re going to need it. Whatever happened in Europe was a fling. It won’t last.”

  “It’s not a fling! Sam loves me!”

  John bristled. “No, I love you, Julia. I’m the one who has been at your side these past years. I’m the one you cried to when your mom was ill. That’s love, Julia. Not some romance you have for two weeks because the moon is full or whatever.”

  Julia couldn’t respond. Yes, John had been there for her, but did that mean she owed him?

  “This guy will dump you and you’ll realize I’m the real deal.” He shook his head and fought back tears. Her heart tore. He’d never cried in front of her. “But now see, my problem is that I’m pathetically in love with you. Always have been. So I’m just gonna sit back and wait for you to come to your senses.”

  She tried to ignore his jab. “How do you know what you feel for me is love, when I’m the only one you’ve ever dated?”

  He paused and then chose to ignore the question. “You know what’s even more pathetic, Jules? When you do return to me, I’ll take you back in a heartbeat.”

  John walked out and slammed the door.

  Julia placed her head against the cool windowpane and watched as John ran down the street. Like Kim, he couldn’t understand what she and Sam had. Someday he would though, but she was pretty darned sure his feelings for her were just puppy love and he’d move on to someone new within weeks. John just didn’t see things the way she did now.

  She stood up straight and brushed imaginary dust off her jeans. Yep, that was it. He’d be over her soon.

  John just didn’t understand real love.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Dinner with her father went tediously slow. Julia’s concentration fixated on Kim and John’s reaction to her news about Sam. Neither of them believed Sam truly loved her, and it angered her not to be taken seriously. If only Sam would call, she’d have the proof she needed to convince the doubters that her relationship with Sam wasn’t simply some fling or whimsical romance.

  If he sensed anything wrong, her father didn’t acknowledge it as he fired off question after question about her trip, job and to her dismay, John. Julia carefully evaded details about the trip, answering as truthfully as she could without saying much. She tried to act cheerful about the job she hated, but when her father switched the subject to John, she could barely look at him.

  “Did John finally hook up with ya?” Bert Steele asked as he cut into his steak.

  Julia nodded and shoved another forkful of green beans into her mouth so she wouldn’t have to answer.

  “That’s good. I ran into his dad while you were over there in Europe. He got John a job at his construction company. John will be making good money if he keeps at it. You picked yourself a hard worker in that one, Jules.”

  It was painful to swallow. She reached for her milk.

  “You going out with him this weekend? Pass the butter, would ya?”

  Julia put down her glass and passed the butter dish to him. “I have other plans, Dad.”

  “Well, I was just thinkin’ that with you getting a nursing degree in four years, and John’s job in construction, the two of you could make a darn good living together.”

  “Uh-huh.” Julia picked at her food. “That’s a long way off though. Things could change between now and then.”

  “Well, sure they could, hon. But I’m just sayin’ that I think you got a great guy there with a promising future.”

  Julia thought of Sam. “I do.”

  Bert pushed his chair back. “Good supper, hon. You’re a great cook. You’ll make someone a fine wife someday.” He winked and rose. “Leave the dishes. I’ll do them in the morning.”

  Julia pushed her plate away, happy to end the dinner time chat.

  “I’ll be watching TV.” Bert yawned and rubbed his stomach.

  “Okay.” She knew he’d watch the news for about twenty minutes and then nod off. She rose, cleared the table, stacked the dishes in the sink, and wiped down the table. She flipped off the kitchen light and headed to the hallway, where she grabbed a book off a nearby table, sat on the bottom step and waited for the phone to ring.

  The phone rang two hours later at eight p.m. Julia sprang to answer it before her fat
her woke from easy chair slumber. Her knees buckled as she heard Sam’s low, British voice. Kim and John could eat their words.

  “Julia, love.” Sam sounded far away, which Julia knew he was. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you to.” She spoke quietly into the receiver.

  “I can’t talk long. Racking up quite the charge from Sydney, you know.”

  “You’re in Australia already?”

  “Yes, just today. They moved up the shooting schedule. I didn’t want to leave Polly so soon, but I had no choice.”

  “How is she?”

  “The same.”

  “Okay.”

  “But, listen, love.” Sam’s voice lightened. “We finish shooting here in about another three weeks and I’ll have a week before we shoot again in England.”

  “Okay.” She listened intently.

  “I was thinking, I should have some money by then, and I’ll come visit you.”

  Julia’s heart nearly leapt from her chest, but she remained physically calm, lest her father woke and overheard. “I’d love that, you know.”

  “Me too.”

  Julia smiled. “It feels like such a long time to wait.”

  “I’ll make it worth the wait.”

  A shiver of excitement ran up her spine. She heard her father yawn and shift in his easy chair. “I haven’t told my father anything yet.”

  “Not to worry,” Sam said. “I’ve given it some thought. I’ll have my agent, Larry, book us a room at a hotel in downtown Chicago.” Sam laughed. “Larry does stuff like that for me now, that I’m Mr. Big Star. I’ll call again with details. Would you be able to meet me there? You said you lived just outside the city limits?”

  “Yes, I’ll manage it. I can have Kim drive me down. I don’t have a car.”

  “Fantastic, love.” Sam sounded truly delighted. “I must ring off though, for now.”

  “I miss you,” Julia whispered.

  “Me too. I’ll call again soon.”

  Julia fought the urge to say she loved him. There would be time enough for that the next time they were together. As she replaced the receiver in its cradle she stared longingly at the phone. Three weeks to wait. If she kept herself busy, perhaps the time would fly.

  Julia wanted to call Kim and John and gloat with the news that Sam phoned and would soon visit. But she resisted the temptation, preferring instead to keep her happiness to herself for a while. She turned off the hallway light.

  A few minutes later, alone in her room, she inserted a tape in her stereo system and danced until she dropped exhausted on her bed.

  She fell into a happy and peaceful slumber.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  To Julia’s surprise, the next three weeks flew by, thanks to a shortage of help at the nursing home, and Julia working every day to help out. She didn’t mind the extra hours, for the overtime insured her a requested three days off for Sam’s visit. An explanation for her absence at home during Sam’s visit was even easier. She simply told her father she planned a shopping trip into the city with Kim, and they would stay downtown with Kim’s cousin.

  “Now, all you need to do is stay out of my dad’s sight for three days!” Julia reminded, as Kim pulled the car up to the entrance of the Chicago Sheraton. Julia couldn’t contain the excitement in her voice. The day of Sam’s visit was finally here. And to make things even better, Kim’s attitude about Sam had relaxed once Julia informed Kim he called.

  “Not to worry, Jules. Chris and I will probably just stay locked up in my house in the air-conditioning most of the time, if you get my drift?” She giggled.

  Julia smiled and wagged a finger at her friend. “You be careful!”

  “You be careful,” Kim shot back. “I’m not the one having a secret rendezvous in some big swank city hotel.”

  “You’re just jealous,” Julia teased.

  “Damn right,” Kim laughed. “Oh, that reminds me. I can further aid and abet your scheming.” She removed a package from her purse and handed the small, thick Walgreen’s envelope to Julia. “They’re doubles of the pictures some kids took in Germany and Austria. I paid for the set.”

  Julia accepted the pictures. “You’re a genius! Now it looks like I really stayed in Germany.”

  “Yep,” Kim said, with a wicked grin. “And if you turn them over, I wrote on the back of each picture exactly what it’s a picture of. That way, if your dad wants to see the pictures, you’ll be able to tell him what he’s looking at.”

  “You are amazing. Thanks! I’ll pay you back.”

  “Speaking of payback,” Kim said. “Did you get your refund money in the mail yet? I got mine yesterday.”

  “Yep.” She had made sure to pick up the mail each day before her father returned from work. “It came yesterday as well. I told Sam I could reimburse him now, but he said he won’t accept it.”

  “Wow, and to think I get excited when Chris buys me a coke.”

  Julia hugged Kim and opened her car door. “Thanks for the ride. See you back here in three days?”

  “Yep. Call me if you’re in any trouble.”

  Julia rolled her eyes as she grabbed her overnight bag from the back seat. “Will you ever trust Sam?”

  “When he marries you.” Kim waved as she pulled away from the curb.

  Julia turned and headed towards the hotel doors. Her heart pounded in anticipation. In less than a minute, she’d be in Sam’s arms.

  Or maybe not. She found him in the empty sitting area of the lobby. He sat in an ornate chair far too small for him. He held his head in his hands, and appeared distressed. Julia’s face fell. This was certainly not the welcoming reunion she dreamt of.

  “Sam?” She walked to him, and set down her bags. His eyes lit up and his face filled with joy. He stood and took her in his arms. “Julia!”

  Relief flooded her. “Sam, I’ve missed you so much!”

  He answered with a long and searching kiss. She held fast to him, never wanting this moment to end. When his lips finally parted from her own, he embraced her again. “Oh Julia! I don’t want to let you go. Not ever again.”

  Sam’s embrace felt like home. She melted against his body, relieved that the time spent apart hadn’t diminished his passion for her. She rested her head against his chest. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “I know, I know,” he said, as he loosened his embrace to gaze at her. “It hardly seems real to me either. You’re as beautiful as I remember, Julia.” He reached out and stroked her cheek.

  “And you have a tan!”

  “Three weeks down under will do that.”

  “I want to hear all about it,” Julia kissed him. “But, later.” She hoped she wasn’t being too forward.

  Sam withdrew from the kiss. “Shall we sit?” He motioned towards two high-backed, stuffy chairs.

  “Okay.” Julia’s mind spun. Had Sam just rejected her advance? Had he realized she made one? Didn’t he want to sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to some private suite where they would make mad, passionate? Disappointed, Julia sat in one of the chairs. Sam sat in the other. They looked more like business partners than lovers.

  Sam cleared his throat. “I thought about you every day in Australia. I know it sounds corny, but I literally counted the days until I could see you again.”

  “Me too.” She wasn’t sure what else to say. She wanted to be alone with him, wrapped in his arms, enjoying the sensations of his lips against her body. “And here we are. In the lobby.”

  “Yes we are.” Sam shifted in his seat. “Julia, before we take your things upstairs, I need to tell you something.”

  “Okay.” Julia’s heart raced. He looked too serious for her liking.

  “I called London after I checked in,” he began. “And Polly is very ill.”

  “Oh, Sam,” Julia said. “I’m so sorry.”

  “She went downhill very suddenly.” Sam’s voice cracked and he looked away. “Besides the forgetfulness, she’s ill with pneumonia now, and it’s
bad.”

  “Sam, I-” Julia began to speak but her eyes filled with tears. It broke her heart to think of Mrs. McTeel so ill.

  Sam took Julia’s hands in his. “The short of it is, I can’t stay. I need to go to her, Julia. She’s been like a mother to me.”

  “You don’t need to explain.” She tried to shroud her disappointment behind her worry for Mrs. McTeel. “She’s a wonderful lady.”

  “What blasted timing!” Sam looked about the room as if a better solution could be found there. “I’m so sorry, Julia. I need to make this up to you.”

  “It’s okay.” Julia fought back tears that threatened to reveal her heartache. These few minutes with him would never be enough. She couldn’t bear him leaving so soon.

  “The thing is, I can’t get a flight until tomorrow morning.”

  Hope fluttered in her heart. “So you’ll be here tonight?”

  Sam squeezed her hand. “Yes. Yes I will.” He looked at her. “But I can’t ask you to stay.”

  Julia looked at him and tears brimmed. He had to be joking. “But why? I want to.”

  Sam leaned in closer. “Julia. How I ache to bring you upstairs right now and hold you and love you for hours. I miss you so much. But I can’t ask you to stay the night with me, knowing that I have to leave in the morning and I won’t see you again, perhaps, for months. Is that fair to you?”

  Julia stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. Sweet, stupid Sam! She rose from her chair, and fell into his arms. She whispered in his ear. “If one night is all I have for now, I want it, Sam. Please. I’ve dreamed of being with you.”

  Sam pulled her closer, and kissed the top of her head. “Julia, my Julia. Are you sure? I promise, that as soon as this film shoot is over, and it should be just a few more months, that I’ll bring you to England.”

  “What?” Julia pulled away.

  “We need to be together, Julia, and for longer than a week. I want to be with you as much as possible. I know it sounds crazy but I’m thinking you should apply to go to school in London.”