Paroxysm (Book 2): Paroxysm Aftermath

by Ashleigh Reynolds

  “No, man,” Jaxton laughed, “I'm over that.”

  “How much do you remember?” Dr. Jefferies butted in as he stuck a syringe full of painkillers into his line.

  “More than I did this morning. Wait…how long was I out?”

  “Not even half a day.” Dr. Jefferies tossed the empty syringe on the tray next to the bed.

  Sann scrubbed his hands over his face and became serious. “I have a hell of a lot more respect for you now. You suffered through that for three days. I don't think...”

  Jaxton squeezed his arm. “You would have come out of it easier than I did.”

  The comment put a slight smile back on his face. It wasn’t his signature grin, but at least he was smiling.

  Sann’s attention shifted to Gemi, who hadn't said a word. Her lips were parted and her breath came in shallow gasps. She probably would never admit it, but she was scared something had happened to him and he wouldn’t be around to pester her anymore.

  “I'm so sorry,” he murmured.

  “For what?” Her eyebrows pinched together.

  “Everything.”

  Jaxton stepped away from the bed and tapped Dr. Jefferies on the shoulder. The two of them needed some space to talk in private. And he needed to learn what measures the doctor made to improve the device so it fully knocked out the chips. Dr. Jefferies looked up at him in time for him to nod to the side. He understood instantly and walked back over to his desk where he had been busy working moments before. Jaxton followed him and settled on the chair Gemi had vacated.

  From his vantage point he saw Sann grab her wrists and drag her onto the bed. He was saying something so low and his lips were moving so fast Jaxton couldn't read them. But he could see the smile that tugged at her lips and the way she leaned into his grasp.

  She freed her hands from his and ran one through the hair above his ear. It shouldn't have bothered him. But everything Sann said in the forest came flooding in and with it came doubt.

  She planted a kiss on his temple and stood up, pulling the blankets over him. She tucked them in under him and gave his arm one last squeeze. Jaxton turned his back to them to hide the fact that he had been intently watching the entire time and tried to pay attention to whatever the doctor was doing.

  He was bent forward studying the screen when Gemi touched his shoulder. “I'm going to go lie down.”

  He watched her leave then spun back to the doctor.

  “You should rest too,” he said without looking away from the monitor. “We're going to have a hard day tomorrow, I suspect, and you're still healing.”

  “You think you'll have it ready by then?”

  “I think so.”

  Jaxton raised his eyebrows. Think so was not a reassuring response. He wanted to tell him that, but distracting him or causing him to question his work probably wasn't the best idea.

  “Seriously, it's late. I'll wake you up if something comes up.”

  “When will you sleep?”

  He looked up and a smile spread across his face. “I slept for thirty-two years. I think I'm good.”

  Jaxton laughed despite himself and he shook his head. The logic was completely off, but he didn't want to argue with him. He also didn't want to go where Gemi was with the way he was feeling. It wasn't the time or the place to get into it. The fact that he was jealous after everything that happened over the past few days and months was foolish. But he just couldn’t shake the sensation that he was missing something.

  Reluctantly he pushed off the table and walked to the barracks. Sann was already fast asleep on the stretcher. How he could get right back to sleep after the things he no doubt saw was beyond him.

  It was complete silence when he entered. He blinked into the darkness trying to force his eyes to adjust before he walked in farther. Yes, he had grown accustomed to the way the room was set up, but one little shift of anything in there and he would go down like a tree and make a hell of a lot of noise doing it.

  And he didn't want that.

  He made his way to the cot that Sann normally slept in and began removing his boots. Even in the dark he could sense her eyes on him. He tossed his shirt and pants on top of his boots and slid under the covers.

  “Did I hog the bed or something?” she asked as the bed dipped from her added weight.

  Since he couldn't think of anything clever or remotely kind to say, he patted her knee and rolled over. She scoffed and crawled under the covers with him. Her hands were icy as she caressed his stomach. And if he wasn't mistaken, there was an abundance of bare skin pressing into his back.

  “I'll take that as a yes.”

  He closed his eyes and begged for sleep, but every time he did, the things Sann said filled his head. The pieces just didn't fit, but there was a lot of mounting evidence against them. He was dealing with people who weren't the same as they used to be.

  “What's your problem?” she asked.

  Her face nuzzled his shoulder blade, her hot breath sending shivers down his spine.

  “We should sleep.”

  “Nuh-uh.” She climbed over him, forcing him flat on his back in the process and held him there under her weight. “What is your problem?”

  “Did you fuck him?”

  It was out of his mouth before he even realized what he was saying.

  She leaned back onto her shins and rested her hands on her thighs. In the feeble light he could just make out the surprise on her face. “Who?” The word was slow and guarded.

  It did nothing to quell his fears or anger.

  “You know who I’m talking about.”

  “Don’t be stupid.” She slid off of him and rolled onto her side facing away.

  “That wasn’t an answer.”

  “We can discuss this another time.”

  “You know just as well as I do that tomorrow might be the last.”

  Gemi’s breath hitched and after a few seconds she twisted around to face him. He was surprised to see tears shining in her eyes.

  “What makes you think I slept with him?”

  “Sann told me flat-out.”

  “Sann’s an idiot. We both know that.”

  “Gemi…”

  “No. I didn’t.”

  Jaxton opened his mouth to reply, but her fingers flew up and pressed down on his lips.

  “Just listen,” she said. “Dagmar has been putting things in our heads to mess with us. The more false information, the harder it is to find the truth and the harder it is to pick yourself up and continue on. Just like him telling you that you married Kai. It’s a mind game to him.” Gemi, who had been staring at him, shifted her eyes to the bed. “Sann had dreams of us together, but it was back before the testing. We both know that’s a lie. And now so does he. But at the time he was convinced. He kissed me in the break room, they day you saw me pull a gun on him. That knee-jerk reaction should say enough, right?”

  Laughter welled up inside him, but he bit his lip so she would continue.

  “He was so sure of himself that even I started to doubt what I knew. Which is, in case you were wondering, that I’ve been crazy in love with you since I was a teenager. I might have killed you a few times along the way—”

  “Twenty-three.” Jaxton kissed her palm then slid it down to wrap around his neck.

  “Right,” Gemi laughed. “Anyways, he apologized for tormenting me about it. He had some pretty clear memories during his ordeal, and all of them led to the truth—that we have been nothing other than friends. We’re family and he’s like my brother. He knows it now and despite the strong feelings of me wanting to murder him most of the time, I know it too. I love you. I always have. But I guess the idea of me not fully knowing who I am terrified me, so I’ve been trying my damnedest to push you away for months.”

  Jaxton’s lips met hers. He didn’t need to hear anymore. He was stupid for doubting her. Each one of them deserved leeway as they remembered who they were. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to fight when it might be their last night toget
her.

  Gemi froze, taken by surprise from his sudden show of affection, but her lips quickly meshed with his. She hugged her body to him, the curves of it melding perfectly into him. There was no doubt in his mind what she wanted. And there was no other way he would rather spend their last possible night together.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Jaxton found the three of them crowded around Dr. Jefferies’s computer. They were all talking low, but judging by their body language, it seemed like a disagreement.

  Jaxton couldn’t remember being the last one to wake up ever, but he chalked it up to his body still recovering. Even though the pain was all but gone. What surprised him most was that Sann woke before him. It usually took the Jaws of Life to pry him from bed.

  Jaxton squeezed in behind Sann where he glimpsed the map with various trails marked in red. Gemi glanced up, giving him a smile before returning her attention to the argument at hand.

  “It took you nearly two days to get here going through the woods.”

  “Yeah, well, if we weren’t forced to carry you like a sack of potatoes it wouldn’t have taken as long,” Sann retorted before cramming the rest of a half-eaten slice of toast in his mouth.

  “To be fair,” Jaxton interjected, “we only took the back way because we weren’t sure how many of them were roaming. Since we have the device, the path should be safe to travel.”

  “But only if they are chipped.”

  “Okay, but the number of them is far less than the chipped.” Jaxton grabbed Gemi’s coffee and drank half in one gulp. “I spent a lot of time in that world. No matter what the media was reporting, the anti-chip population is nothing compared to those who do. And at this point, I’m sure that number has dwindled considerably.”

  “Jaxton’s right,” Gemi said, “anti-chippers might be mad, but they aren’t insane. Once they lose control, they’ll bail.”

  “Tell that to the group outside home base. They sure seemed like they were working with the crazy ones,” Sann challenged.

  “You don’t know if they stayed, or lived past that fire.”

  “Fine,” San relented with a wave of his hands, “we take the main road.”

  “It will be half a day’s walk there. If we leave at sundown we should get there around dawn.” Dr. Jefferies straightened up and grabbed his tablet. “As long as everything goes smoothly.”

  “I don’t think we’ve discussed what to do once we confront Dagmar.” Gemi mentioned.

  “I’m sure he’ll have an army guarding him. Hiding behind them like the little weasel he is.” Dr. Jefferies slammed his fingers into the tablet screen as he scrolled through the information.

  At least everyone seemed to hate the man equally.

  “Well, the device should knock out a large portion. We just need to control the others long enough to get to him.” Jaxton polished off the coffee and set the mug down on the table.

  Gemi eyeballed her now-empty cup and mouthed the word rude before turning her attention back to whatever Dr. Jefferies was doing.

  “That’s putting a lot of eggs in one basket.” Sann said.

  “It’s the only basket we have.”

  “Well, it sounds settled.” Dr. Jefferies set down his tablet and stepped out from behind the desk. “There are a few things I need to attend to before we head out. So if you’ll excuse me.”

  “I’m going to get more coffee.” Sann grabbed his cup and made his way to the door.

  Jaxton watched him leave then turned back to Gemi who had picked up the doctor’s tablet and was scrolling through the information on the screen.

  “The man’s a genius,” she muttered.

  “Well, he did create it all.”

  “Yeah, but he woke up years later with the increase in technology and still brought himself up to speed. The program involved in overriding the chips is amazing.”

  “It’s always been nonsense to me. You’re the one with the brilliant mind.” He snatched the cup from the table. “Hey, I’m going to make some coffee as well.”

  “Make that two since you drank mine.”

  “Sure.” He kissed the top of her head before making his way down to the kitchen.

  He found Sann there, bent over the counter with his back to him. At the sound of the door opening he turned and gave him a weak smile.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  “Who, me? I’m great.” Sann straightened up and leaned on the counter facing him.

  Jaxton set the cup down on the table and regarded him. Sann was never good at concealing his emotions.

  “You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not.”

  “Don’t I though?”

  “Why would you?”

  “Because we’re most likely not walking out of this alive. And this time, there’s no reset button to bring us back.”

  “I know, man.”

  They all knew. No one said it, but they all knew. The instant they stepped out of the base in search of the mainframe, they were risking their lives. They made themselves marked men and there was a high likelihood that they wouldn’t all make it.

  “That doctor out there is one savage beast.” Sann turned from him and prepared his cup of coffee. “He’s completely safe in here, but is willing to go out with us and risk his life. He’s barely gotten to live since he woke up and he’s ready to risk it all.”

  “What’s life worth living the way things are?”

  “I guess…Hey…you never asked me what I remembered.”

  “I figured you would tell me when you were ready.”

  San set down his coffee and in a few short steps enveloped Jaxton in a bear hug. “You know I love you, right? Everything I said and did…”

  Jaxton staggered back in shock before returning the hug. “I love you too, man. You, Gemi and the doc back home, you’re my family. We’re gonna go down swinging to protect that. Everything else is water under the bridge.”

  Sann gave him a hard pat on the back and stepped out of his reach. He wiped one of his eyes on his shoulder, but kept his gaze downcast.

  “Gemi and I…we didn’t—”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I would never.”

  “I know.”

  Jaxton returned to the main room carrying the two cups of coffee he promised. Gemi was planted in the same spot he left her in, head bent low, poring over the information on the tablet.

  He set the cup in front of her and pushed it forward with one finger, winning a smile and glimpse in his direction. She was usually hard to distract once she became caught up in something.

  “I wonder if it’s worth it to duplicate this program. Double the coverage just in case.”

  Jaxton held his hand out to her. “Come here.”

  “What?”

  “Let’s go on a walk.”

  Gemi set the tablet down and stared up at him. “Walk where? We’re locked inside this place. Besides, I have work—”

  Jaxton powered down the tablet and grabbed her hand, pulling her up and into him. “Let’s take advantage of the lull we have. There will always be more work to do when you go looking for it.”

  Gemi shot a wayward glance over her shoulder toward the desk. After heaving a sigh, she let him lead her away and out the main doors.

  Jaxton followed the signs for roof access he had noticed during their stay, ignoring her moans and groans as they ascended the steps. Three flights up he found the door he was looking for. He swung it open and dragged her out into the early afternoon air.

  The place had been painstakingly designed at one point. The center housed a semicircle of seats surrounding a fire pit. To their right was a garden, or what was left of it. Weeds ran rampant overtaking the brittle stalks of various plants and spilled out of the planter box. Rows of rusted grills lined the other side next to a caved-in canopy and picnic benches.

  Gemi gasped as she spun in a circle, taking in the sights. “Can you imagine having anything like this at the base? God, things were really differ
ent, weren’t they?” She sat down in front of the fire pit and drew her knees to her chest. “Where do you think we would be if Dr. Jefferies had stayed in charge?”

  “It’s hard to say.” He plopped down next to her and pulled her close. “Jefferies said a lot of people opposed the chips. Without someone like Dagmar in charge, it’s possible the population could have rebelled and won.”

  “We probably would have never met.”

  Jaxton rested his head on top of hers and tried to imagine a world without her. It would have been a bleak existence. There was no way he would have lived to see his twenties. His father would have made certain of that.

  “That’s not an idea I like to think about.” He caught her hand in his and held it to his chest.

  “Do you think that’s the direction we’re headed in regardless? I don’t see an outcome where the chips survive this.”

  “At this point, I couldn’t care less. I’m washing my hands of everything once we finish business with Dagmar.” He took a steadying breath, staring out into the space in front of them. “I’d like you to come with me.”

  “Come with you? Where?”

  “Anywhere. I want to start my life and stop living on someone else’s time.”

  “We have responsibilities.”

  “We have a life to live. Nothing we did stopped things from turning out like this. It was destiny. Why spend the rest of our lives tied up in a losing battle?”

  A group of birds flew overhead, squawking and chirping, causing both of their faces to turn up. Jaxton smiled to himself. It was as if the universe was trying to accentuate his point. They needed to be free to roam where they wanted. Unburdened from a system that had failed long ago.

  “I want children and to watch you grow old. I want to wake up every morning next to you and know that we can do whatever we want with our day…with our life. It might be selfish, but I just don’t care anymore. We’ve suffered enough to not feel guilty for choosing to live for ourselves.”

  When she tilted her head down to meet his gaze, there were no signs of an impending fight. Only love. And a fire that had been missing from her eyes for a while.