The Girl on the Cliff
Page 40
“I . . . “ That would mean speaking to Matt. I’ll wait until she calls me. She might be sleeping.”
“All right, Grania, I will leave you alone.” Hans knew when he was beaten. “But I am as much in the dark as I ever was. I have some work to do. Put a call through to my room if you want to join me for some supper later.”
“I will.”
Hans patted Grania on the shoulder and left the suite. Once the door was closed, Grania stood up and started to pace. Now the shock had worn off, Grania felt cross . . . yes, furious that Aurora had seen fit to interfere in her life. This was not a fairy tale, not a childhood game where everybody found their prince and lived happily ever after. It was reality. And some things that were wrong could never be put right, however much Aurora wished them to be. She simply wanted Aurora home and out of Matt’s clutches as soon as possible. The thought of the two of them together, discussing her, was more than she could bear. And now, just when she was trying so hard—and it was hard—to move on, as Hans had suggested she must, she was being dragged back into the past. One way or another, there would have to be contact with Matt. Matt, who was almost certainly still shacked up at the loft with her . . .
Grania let out a groan of despair. She knew she should speak to Aurora as soon as possible, check she was all right for her own peace of mind. She picked up the receiver and dialed the number, then ended the call before it had a chance to ring. No. She couldn’t face it. So she dialed her mother’s number instead.
“To be sure, we are all mighty relieved here!” Kathleen’s voice was euphoric. “Fancy our little pet making it all the way to New York!”
“Yes, isn’t she clever?” Grania said flatly. “Mam, I’d like you to call Matt and make arrangements for Aurora to be put on a plane home as soon as possible. Would you do that for me?”
“If that’s what you want, Grania. When I spoke to Aurora earlier, she was talking about spending a couple more days with Matt. As she’s got herself there, bless her, she might as well be seeing the sights of New York. Matt sounds very taken with her, so he does.”
“Well, from my point of view, I’d like her home as soon as possible. She’s missing school, Mam.”
“And what harm?” asked Kathleen. “I’d say she’ll be having an experience worth any lesson she can learn in class. And a native to show her around too.”
“Well, I’ll leave it to you to arrange,” Grania replied tersely. “I’ll send you an e-mail with my credit card details, to pay for Aurora’s ticket home.”
“All right,” agreed Kathleen. “I’ll be getting Shane to book it, mind. Computers are not my thing. Grania?”
“Yes?”
“Are you all right?”
“Yes, of course I am, Mam,” she said brusquely. “Speak soon.”
Grania slammed the receiver into its cradle and went into the bedroom. Flinging herself down on the bed, she put a pillow over her head to try and block out her frustration and pain.
• • •
Aurora and Matt spent the following forty-eight hours seeing all there was to see in New York City. Matt found himself bewitched by her. She was a mixture of naïveté and intelligence, innocence and maturity . . . he could understand why Grania had fallen in love with her.
On Aurora’s last night, Matt took her to a diner for a hamburger as she’d requested. He was due to put her back on a plane the following morning. Up until now, the subject of Grania had been carefully avoided by both of them.
“Matt, have you come up with a plan yet to win back Grania’s love?” Aurora asked as she bit into her burger.
“No.” He shrugged. “I think she’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to speak to me. It’s her mother that’s been contacting me about the arrangements for you.”
“Grania’s very stubborn,” said Aurora. “That’s what Granny says, anyway.”
“I know she is, honey.” Matt smiled at the idea of being counseled by a nine-year-old girl.
“And proud,” she added.
“Yup, you’re sure right there.”
“But we know she still loves you.”
“Do we?” Matt raised an eyebrow. “You know what, Aurora? I just don’t know that anymore.”
“Well, I do.” Aurora reached across the table toward him conspiratorially. “And I have a plan . . .”
• • •
Grania had spent the past two days skulking in her hotel suite at Claridge’s. Now that she knew Aurora was safe, she’d decided not to fly back home, unable to face the pressure she’d be under from her mother to make direct contact with Aurora. And hear what a wonderful time she was having with Matt. And perhaps Charley . . .
When Aurora was safely on the plane tomorrow, she could return home.
She and Hans shared a quiet dinner that night. He was also leaving London for Switzerland the following day.
“I hope next time you’re in London, I can show you Aurora’s house,” said Hans. “It is very beautiful.”
“Next time, yes,” said Grania distractedly.
“Grania.” Hans looked at her. “Why are you so angry?”
“Angry? I’m not angry. Well, perhaps a little with Aurora, for giving us all such a fright. And for interfering in my life,” she added honestly.
“I can see why you might feel that,” comforted Hans, “but we’ve talked before about your problem with receiving gifts from others. Don’t you see that, in her way, Aurora was trying to give you a gift? Trying to help you?”
“Yes, but she doesn’t understand—”
“Grania, it is not my place to interfere,” Hans cut in, “and certainly not in the affairs of your heart. But your anger betrays the strong sense of emotion this man stirs in you. In simple terms, you must either love him or hate him. But only you can decide which.”
Grania sighed. “I love him,” she admitted sadly. “But it all went wrong months ago. And he’s with someone else now.”
“You know this for sure?”
“Yes.” Grania nodded.
“But maybe he doesn’t love this other person?”
“Hans, you’re very sweet, but really, I don’t want to talk about it any further. And I’m only embarrassed that my love life has caused all this upset.”
“Well, perhaps Aurora was simply trying to return a little of the love and care you have shown to her. Do not blame her or chastise her when you see her, Grania, will you?”
“Of course not. Believe me, Hans,” breathed Grania with feeling, “I want to forget this whole episode ever happened.”
43
When Grania arrived home in Dunworley the following day around lunchtime, she drove straight up to her studio, knowing that Aurora wouldn’t be home for a few hours yet and not wishing to be interrogated by her mother. She sat down at her workbench and began to sketch the outline of a new sculpture. At teatime, Grania reluctantly drove herself back down to the farmhouse.
“Mummy!” A small thunderbolt emerged from inside it and threw itself into her arms. “I’ve missed you.”
“And I’ve missed you.” Grania smiled as she hugged Aurora tightly.
“New York was wonderful! I bought you lots of presents. But I’m very glad to be home now and see you,” Aurora said as she pulled her toward the house. “And you’ll never guess who’s decided to come back with me for a visit.”
“Hi there, Grania.”
Grania halted on the threshold of the kitchen when she saw who was sitting at the table. Her heart began to bang against her chest. Finally, she found her voice. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you, honey.”
Grania glanced at her mother, who seemed to be set on “pause,” the teapot suspended above Matt’s cup as she stared at her daughter and watched for her reaction.
Aurora shrugged. “He wanted to see you.” Her voice echoed into the silence. “You don’t mind, do you, Mummy?”
Grania was too shocked to answer. She watched Aurora walk toward Matt and hug him.
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“Don’t worry, Matt, I said she’d be surprised, but I’m sure underneath it she’s happy. Aren’t you, Mummy?”
Aurora, Kathleen and Matt stared at her for a reply. Grania felt like a cornered animal. And had her usual instinct to bolt.
“Well now . . .” Kathleen did her best to break the tension. “I’m sure ’tis a shock for Grania to see her . . . old friend sitting at our kitchen table,” she said to Aurora.
“Mummy, please don’t be cross,” begged Aurora. “I had to go to see Matt in New York, really I did. He telephoned here, you see, when you were away with Daddy on your honeymoon. And I told him you’d got married. Which you aren’t anymore, are you, Mummy? And I didn’t want Matt to think you were, when you weren’t, if you see what I mean. I told Matt that underneath, you really did want to see him, and so I—”
“Aurora, please!” Grania couldn’t take any more.
“Grania’s tired, like we are, honey,” interjected Matt gently. “And I’m sure we have some talking to do, don’t we, Grania?”
“Let’s be getting you upstairs and into a bath, miss. Scrub off that dirt from those planes, and then it’s an early night.” Kathleen grabbed Aurora’s hand and pulled her out of the kitchen, closing the door firmly behind them.
Grania gave a deep sigh and took a step further into the kitchen. “So, what are you doing here?” she asked Matt coldly.
“It was Aurora’s suggestion at first,” Matt admitted, “but she’s right, Grania. I needed to come and see you, so at least we could talk, and I could understand why you left me.”
In slow motion, Grania took a mug out of the cupboard and poured herself some tea from the pot.
Matt surveyed her. “Well?”
“Well, what?” she asked, taking a sip of lukewarm tea.
“Can we talk?”
“Matt, I have nothing to say to you.”
“OK.” Matt knew how stubborn Grania could be when she’d dug herself in. He had to tread carefully. “Well, perhaps, as I’ve just flown across the world to see you, you could cut a guy a break and listen to what he has to say.”
“Go ahead.” Grania shrugged, putting her tea down and crossing her arms defensively. “I’m all ears.”
“How about we go out and walk? I get the feeling that in this house you’re not the only one with ears.”
Grania offered a cursory nod, then turned and headed out of the kitchen door. Matt followed her outside and caught up with her.
“I need to tell you, if you’re expecting any great revelations, you’re not going to get them,” he began. “I still don’t know what got you so pissed that you left me. And I won’t unless you give me a clue.” Matt glanced at her, but saw Grania’s chin was set hard, betraying no emotion. “Right,” he sighed, “then I’ll have to tell you how it is from my point of view. Is that OK?”
Still silence, so Matt began.
“I was in shock at first, when you upped and left. I thought it most probably had something to do with the miscarriage. That maybe your hormones were all over the place. That, just maybe, this didn’t have as much to do with me as with losing the baby, that you just needed to get away. I understood that. And then, when I called and you were so cold, I began to realize it must be something to do with me. I asked you time and again what it was, and you wouldn’t tell me. And then you refused to talk to me at all.” Matt sighed. “Jeez, I didn’t know what to think. Weeks pass and I don’t hear from you and you don’t return. So I tie myself in knots going over and over what it is I might have done. And more than that, realizing how much I love you. And miss you. Hell, Grania! My life’s been a mess since you left. A train crash, baby, in ways you wouldn’t believe possible.”
“Ditto,” Grania offered grudgingly.
“When Aurora suggested this, I decided she was right,” Matt continued. “That if the mountain wouldn’t come to Mahomet, I needed to get my ass on a plane and come to you. If for nothing more than an explanation, so I can stop tearing myself apart and sleep at night.”
Matt fell silent as he followed Grania up the cliff path. He had nothing else to say. Finally, they reached the top of the cliffs, and Grania sat down on her favorite rock, then rested her elbows on her knees and stared out to sea.
“Hey, honey, please, I need to know.” Matt crouched next to her and tipped her face up to his own. “Please,” he said gently, “put me out of my misery.”
Her eyes were like flint as she stared at him. “You mean, you can still look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t know?”
“You always said I was a crap actor, honey, and I couldn’t put on a performance like this if I did.”
“All right then.” Grania took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d had a relationship with Charley before we met? That you were actually seeing her when we met? And how long was it going on for after we did meet? And what’s going on now?”
“Grania, baby, I . . .” Matt looked at her in astonishment. “Is that what this has all been about? The fact I was seeing Charley when we first met and I didn’t tell you?”
“Don’t trivialize it, Matt, I hate liars. I hate liars more than anything.”
“But I didn’t lie, Grania. I just—” Matt shrugged.
“Forgot to mention it,” Grania interrupted. “Omitted it from your biography, even though it was current at the time.”
“But, Grania, don’t you see?” Matt was deeply shocked that apparently this was the reason for Grania’s exit from his life. “I didn’t even feel it was important. It wasn’t love or anything, just a casual relationship that—”
“—Went on for eighteen months, from what I heard from your mother and father.”
Matt looked at her oddly. “You heard that from my mom and dad? When? Where?”
“When they came to see me at the hospital after the miscarriage, I was in the bathroom when they arrived. They didn’t know I was in there. Your mom talked about how sad it was I’d lost the baby, then your dad commented how much easier it would have been for you if you’d stuck with Charley and not dumped her for me.” Grania’s eyes were sparkling with tears. “I suppose what they were suggesting was that my genes, coming as they do from the bogs of Ireland, weren’t up to scratch for upstate royalty such as yourself.”
“You left me because of what you overheard my dad say?” Matt sat down on the grass and put his head in his hands. “Hell, Grania, I accept it wasn’t a conversation that you should ever have heard, but I think you overreacted. You know what my dad’s like: as warm and sensitive as a fridge.”
“I know,” answered Grania with vehemence, “and as for overreacting, maybe I wouldn’t have done if I’d had the slightest inkling that you and Charley had once been an item. But, of course, I didn’t. Anyway, you’re welcome to continue to pursue your blue-blooded princess now I’m out of the way,” she added bitterly.
“Goddamn it, Grania! I don’t know what the hell you’ve cooked up in that mind of yours, but I can honestly swear to you I’m not interested in Charley. And the point is, I never was!”
“Then why did she answer our home phone when I called you a few weeks after I’d left?” Grania spat the words out.
“Oh, Jesus, baby . . .” He sighed heavily. “It’s a long story.” It was Matt’s turn to fall silent and stare out to sea. Eventually, he said, “All I can promise you is that Charley is out of my life for good.”
“So, you’re admitting that something was going on recently?”
Matt shook his head despairingly. “Grania, a bit like me hearing you’d gotten yourself married, my life has been . . . complicated too. And sure, I can tell you the story, but it’s so bizarre, I doubt you’d believe it.”
“Well, I suppose that’s one thing we share,” said Grania quietly. “I doubt you could get more complex than the past year of my life here.”
“No.” Matt looked up at her. “And what about Aurora’s father? Did you . . . were you . . . ?”
“Oh, Matt,” Grania sighed,
“so much water has flowed under the bridge since I left New York.”
“Well, just maybe, if you had trusted in my love for you in the first place, and believed that if I’d have wanted my ‘blue-blooded princess,’ as you call her, I could have had her, then none of this would have happened.”
“But it has happened, Matt,” said Grania, “and yes, I accept that when I heard what your dad said, I was in a state of high emotion. Yes, I was irrational. Losing the baby brought out every insecurity I had. I was hurting so much at the time, and I bolted. Hans says”—she bit her lip—“that my pride makes me do stupid things. And he’s probably right,” Grania admitted.
“Hey, I don’t know who this Hans is, but I’d sure like to meet him,” Matt commented wryly.
“But don’t you see? When I did calm down and realized I was probably overreacting, a couple of weeks after I left, I called you at home to try and sort it out. But Charley answered the phone and I flipped. It was confirmation of my worst fear.”
“Yeah, I can see how it would have been.” Matt reached out a tentative hand to Grania. “Well, baby, I’ve sure got some stuff to tell you. But I’m nearing hypothermia out here. Is there anyplace we can go where we can talk, over some food perhaps? I could use a bite to eat.”
Grania took Matt to a pub in nearby Ring that served fresh seafood straight from the day’s catch. She sat opposite him, feeling uncomfortable. Gone was the unconscious touch of the hand, the easy familiarity which came out of years of love. Matt felt both familiar and yet unknown.
“So,” he asked across the table, “Who’s gonna tell their story first?”
“Well, as I’d begun, I might as well continue.” Grania looked at him. “And I want us both to be truthful. After all, we have nothing to lose, and maybe we owe it to each other.”
“Agreed,” said Matt. “There’s a lot you’re not gonna like. But, I swear, what I say, you can believe.”
“Me too,” said Grania quietly. “OK, so Aurora’s obviously told you how we met. What you want to know is about my relationship with Alexander?”