Passion, Vows & Babies: Reluctant (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Your Ad Here Book 5)

by Allyson Lindt

  “Leave the nice man alone.” Bailey took Jack to strap him into his car seat.

  Logan used the excuse to dry his face as best he could, but he couldn’t help smiling.

  “Thanks for your help.” Bailey turned back to him. “You’re good with kids.” Despite having to cart around two children, the corners of her mouth had been tugged up since she approached him, happiness gleaming in her eyes.

  Would Jodie look like that with kids? Logan shook the thought aside. “No problem. Can I ask you something? I’ll make it quick.”

  “Sure.”

  “Do you ever feel like you gave anything up? Having kids so young, that is.” He frowned. “Never mind. That was rude of me.”

  Bailey laughed. “It’s all right. And no, I don’t. There are days that take more planning. Tonight for instance. And I don’t know if I could do it without Wyatt, but I never surrendered anything. I gained two lives to appreciate and nurture.”

  Logan said goodnight to Bailey and headed home. He couldn’t get Jodie out of his head, but his thoughts traveled in a different direction than before. His gut churned at her hurt when he tried to shove his opinion on her.

  But a glimmer of awe sparked through guilt at how determined she was to do this, even if it was on her own. He’d seen her succeed at everything in her life she set her mind to—it was one of the things he admired about her—and this wouldn’t be any different. Besides, if he was forced to admit it, he wouldn’t mind seeing a little Jodie-tot running around.

  He’d be Uncle Logan, and he could spoil the kid rotten. And she’d be an amazing mother. Hell, if she let him, he’d even babysit. The thought caught him off-guard, but it felt right.

  A new layer of reality barged in. There had been something in her eyes when she looked at him—regret, mixed with the anger and hurt. He and Jodie didn’t have that kind of relationship. He’d be better off going back to avoiding her.

  ****

  When Saturday evening and dinner with their parents rolled around, that wasn’t an option anymore.

  That was okay. He could scowl at her and be aloof, the way he always was. Apparently she expected it.

  He was waiting at the restaurant, where they were all supposed to meet. He wasn’t surprised to be the first one here. Dad would be a little late. He always had a hard time finding his way around this town—said the layout of the city didn’t make sense.

  Jodie didn’t keep Logan waiting long. She arrived a few minutes later. He tried not to stare, as she crossed the parking lot toward him. It was impossible to ignore the way she looked in that sun dress, though. It was deceptively innocent, like so many things she did. Sleeveless and hugging her torso, it showed off her breasts without exposing more cleavage than was appropriate for dinner with the folks. The skirt flared out at her hips and ended just above her knees.

  Is she wearing panties?

  What the hell was wrong with him? That should be the last thing he wondered about.

  I bet she’ll look even sexier when she starts to show.

  Correction—second-to-last thing.

  He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted copper. The pain was almost enough to subdue the heat flooding his body.

  He smiled, but was tense, as she drew closer, and she stared back blankly in return.

  “About the other day…” He trailed off.

  “There’s nothing to say.” Her tone was cold.

  “But—”

  “Kids, sorry to keep you waiting.” Logan’s dad stepped into view from behind Logan, his arm wrapped around Jodie’s mother’s waist.

  “It’s fine. We haven’t been here long.” Logan gave Megan a quick kiss on the cheek, and Jodie exchanged hugs with her and Duke.

  In those few short seconds, Jodie’s demeanor shifted from icy to politely distant.

  Good. Everything was returning to normal. Their parents wouldn’t think anything was amiss. And nothing was.

  “How are you doing, hon?” Megan asked as the four of them headed inside.

  Jodie cast a glare at Logan. “Great. A few hiccups here and there, but otherwise fantastic.”

  “Hiccups.” Logan forced the sarcasm into his laugh. “Those are on you.” He might not like being the keeper of her secret, but it wasn’t his to share.

  “Be nice,” his dad warned.

  Megan sighed. “I hoped being away from home, in a less restrictive environment, would help you two learn to get along.”

  “Right.” Jodie scoffed. “Not in this century.”

  “There’s no reasoning with children.” Logan slid into the bench seat across from their parents.

  Jodie took the spot next to him. He tried and failed to ignore the heat of her bare arm against his or the weight of her thigh as it pressed into him.

  “Because I’m the unreasonable one, for recognizing you’re as inconsiderate as your friends.” Bitterness tinged Jodie’s words.

  Guilt weighed heavy inside him. He didn’t want to pick this fight. He couldn’t think of an alternative, though. He couldn’t do nice without remembering there could be more. “Don’t hate Noah because someone in that apartment is getting some.” That was a low blow, even in the scope of their arguments, but halfway wouldn’t work.

  “Logan,” his dad barked.

  “It’s okay.” Was that a quaver running through Jodie’s reply? No. Her expression was blank. And those definitely weren’t tears shining in her eyes. She stood so abruptly, she jarred the table. “I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

  Twin gazes of disappointment studied him from across the booth. “Could you two try to get along for one evening?” Megan asked.

  She had no idea.

  “Megan’s too polite.” Dad sounded angry, rather than resigned. “What the hell is your problem, Logan? She’s your sister.”

  That was Logan’s problem. He knew the variations on this conversation, though—what he was expected to say next. “I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.” He didn’t feel the smile he forced to the surface.

  Their waitress took their drink orders. He ignored the instinct to get an iced tea for Jodie, and let her mother order instead. When his beer arrived a few minutes later, Jodie still wasn’t back. He swallowed half his drink in a single gulp, but it didn’t squelch the guilt crawling inside.

  “Maybe you should go check on her,” his dad said to her mom.

  Logan couldn’t do this forced indifference-bordering-on-cruelty. He didn’t know how he’d maintained the facade for this long. “I’ll go.”

  Megan eyed him with disbelief. “Are you going to storm into the ladies’ restroom to find her?”

  “I’ll knock politely and ask if she’s in there. I was the one who was rude. I should apologize.”

  “Damn straight you should.” His dad’s irritation couldn’t hide his surprise.

  Logan found Jodie in the hallway near the restrooms. She was leaned with her back to the wall and her gaze tilted toward the ceiling. She didn’t move when he approached.

  “Can we talk?” he asked.

  She didn’t look at him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  It wasn’t a no. “I’m sorry.”

  “That’s nice.”

  He couldn’t do this. If he’d realized it would only take a taste to fuck with his head this way… It didn’t matter. What was done was done, and he wanted to make things right. “This will probably sound weak, but I was trying to—”

  “Pretend there wasn’t a spark between us? Protect yourself? By being an intolerable asshole?”

  He didn’t know if she was talking about tonight or the conversation in her apartment. Both, probably. “I didn’t say my execution was good.”

  “Not good?” She scoffed. “Are you serious? Almost since Day One, you’ve made my life a living hell. Sometimes it’s better. The other day—wow. And, okay, that was a one-time thing. No illusions here. But I didn’t expect you to revert by five years when it was over.”

  Fuck. He’d s
pent so long thinking it was smart to keep her at arm’s length, he never stopped to consider how the consequences weighed on her. “I know it’s not a good excuse, but back then, I was a teenage boy who already had the urge to fuck everything that moved. Then you came along, and it wasn’t an option, and I wanted you more than anyone, anyway.”

  “You’re right. That’s a really shitty reason.” She rolled her head to the side and finally looked at him. Her eyes were dry but rimmed with red and smudges of mascara.

  “I’m sorry. About what I said back then. About forcing my opinion on you the other day. You’ve got a plan to make this baby work. I don’t even have to hear it to know you’ve thought things through and can make it work. You can make your own decisions, and I respect that.”

  Now the words were flowing out, he couldn’t stop. “I’m sick of fighting. Pushing you away. Questioning us. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say besides that, but I’ll spend however much time it takes, proving to you that I mean it.” As the words spilled out, he realized how true they were.

  She hugged herself and turned to face him. “I can’t do this hot-and-cold thing anymore. I’m guilty of it too, but I’m done.” The hurt on her face and the resignation in her voice gnawed at him.

  “Me too.” He wasn’t sure what part he was admitting to. All of it? He hovered his hand millimeters from her cheek, wishing he had a way to prove what he said. She licked her lips, and impulse sparked. He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers.

  “Stop.” When she placed her palm on his chest, it burned through his shirt. “Someone will see.”

  “Good point.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her through the nearest door. Which happened to be the women’s restroom. He was grateful it was empty. He nudged her into the stall at the end, kicked the door shut, and grasped her face in his hands. “Better?”

  “No. Not better at all.” Despite her words, the lines of tension had faded from her face. She grasped his shirt in her fists and crushed her mouth to his.

  Oh fuck me. He was instantly hard. He pressed closer, pinning her to the wall. Her body molded to his, soft and yielding. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Feeling her up, making out… More, in a public restroom, with their parents sitting in the dining room.

  And he had zero interest in stopping. She ground her hip against his erection, sending a jolt of desire through him. How far could they go in here? Within a limited time frame? He scraped his nails up her thigh as he dragged her skirt up past her panties. So she was wearing them. Not for long.

  Someone knocked, and the bathroom door creaked. “Jodie, hon? Are you in here?” It was Megan.

  Logan dropped his head onto Jodie’s shoulder with a silent sigh. “Fuck,” he whispered. Could Megan see two pairs of feet back here? The stalls had doors and walls that reached almost to the floor, so probably not.

  “Yeah, Mom. Give me a second.” Jodie’s voice was calm and even.

  How the hell did she manage that?

  She traced the edge of his ear with her mouth. “I’ll go out first. Follow me in a couple of minutes?” Her voice was so low, he strained to hear it, even with her lips that close.

  Logan nodded.

  She pushed him back, the disappointment on her face reflecting his. “Lipstick,” she mouthed.

  He stared at her, trying to make sense of her meaning.

  She dragged a thumb along his bottom lip, and when she pulled away, red smudged her skin.

  Good point. He should wipe that off.

  Jodie stepped from the stall.

  “Are you all right?” Megan asked.

  “I’ll be fine.” The sound of running water mingled with Jodie’s reply.

  “Where’s Logan?”

  Their voices faded as the door creaked open again. “I don’t know. Not in here—that’s for sure.”

  Logan spun and flopped back against the wall, his heart hammering against his ribs. If his luck held out a little longer, the bathroom would stay empty long enough for him to leave unnoticed.

  He grinned at the empty stall. It was worth it. He’d do that again in a heartbeat.

  Chapter Nine

  Jodie’s cheeks were on fire as she returned to the table with her mother. No one saw what she and Logan were up to, but she swore it was written all over her face.

  Duke watched her with a kind expression. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m better, thank you.” Did she strike that balance between polite and not over-the-top?

  “Good.” His smile said he believed her.

  Logan returned a few minutes later. “There you are.” He sounded surprised to see her. “I was looking for you. To apologize.”

  No one is buying this. She’d play along anyway. “You found me. I’m better. Thank you.” Great. Now she was repeating herself.

  As dinner went on, no new arguments surfaced. It would take a lot of work on her part to make things happen otherwise, since she and Logan never spoke to each other directly. Hallway promises and a dirty-bad-but-oh-so-good bathroom make-out session didn’t mean much, when they had to appear aloof in public.

  What did she expect? It wasn’t like he promised her forever, just that he’d be nicer. She didn’t want that. Though would a little more definition around their relationship be such a bad thing? It would be after his reaction to her being pregnant. But he apologized for that tonight, too.

  She tried to be subtle about watching him interact with their parents. Smiling, intelligent, and even funny. He caught her gaze and winked, before turning back to the conversation.

  Her heart skipped. Not fair. If she thought about it, the two of them had more up times than down since she arrived at Stanford.

  But those low points hurt as much as ever. More, now that they’d screwed. And God help her, fucking him was amazing, and she’d have a hard time denying as much if he asked her.

  As they finished dinner and said their goodnights, she was only half-involved in the conversation. Her mind was stuck in a circular argument about Logan. The sex was incredible, the good times were better, and the bad times sucked ass. And none of it mattered, because nothing else had changed. He was going to be nicer. And proved it by feeling her up in a bathroom stall.

  As she sank into her car and silence enveloped her, she bit back a scream of frustration. She could go home, put in her earbuds, and drown out the world. She didn’t care if Noah brought someone home. It would be a distraction, to pull her out of her own head.

  When she arrived at her apartment, the first thing she did was lose the dress and change into her comfiest PJ bottoms and a tank top. Noah was in his room with the door closed, and no noise coming out. Odd for this time on a Saturday night—usually he’d be at the bar right now—but she’d take it. Maybe she’d watch a movie. Something loud with lots of explosions and no romance at all. Why should fictional characters find happiness if she couldn’t reason out her own?

  As Jodie was settling on the couch, someone rang the bell. She answered, and her stomach dropped into her shoes. Logan stood on the other side, still in his suit and tie from dinner. It wasn’t fair that he looked so good. She kept the reaction off her face and forced indifference through her veins. “Noah’s in his room.”

  “I’m looking for you.” Logan stepped inside and shut the door. “And fuck, you look amazing.”

  Her heart hammered against her ribs. Why does it matter? Because it did. “If you want to finish what we started in that bathroom stall, the mood is lost.”

  “I deserve that.” He gave her a weak smile. “And I am here to prove I was sincere earlier, but not that way. I have to tell you something else.”

  “I’m listening.”

  He searched her face, and her pulse raced at a gallop, betraying her desire to stay removed from the situation. “Are you?” he asked.

  She dialed down the apathy. “Yes. I promise.” If this was going to be another it was a one-time thing conversation, they might as well get it over with. And if he had the nerv
e to say something like, we can still screw, but can’t tell anyone, she didn’t have a problem shoving him out the door and slamming it behind him.

  Despite her resolve, both options dug deep, leaving an empty gouge inside.

  “I love you,” Logan said.

  Jodie’s heart ground to a stop, then kick-started at a painful rate. “Beg pardon?”

  He let out a tiny laugh. “That’s fair. I love you, Jodie. I don’t know how long I’ve felt this way. Months. Longer. And I know I haven’t given you much reason to feel the same, and that’s okay. This isn’t one of those things where I say it, and you don’t want to say it back, and our lives fall apart with awkwardness. All I’m asking for—and you don’t have to say yes—is the chance to prove I mean it.

  “This isn’t even contingent on the child. Whatever you do with that, I support you. Whether we’re together or not, I’ll help you out however I can. I think you’ll be an amazing mom.”

  Happiness and confusion blurred inside and pricked at her eyelids with tears. She blinked back the wash of muddy emotion. The confession made her heart skip in a way she didn’t expect. At the same time, he was right; she wasn’t ready to return a commitment like I love you. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

  He jammed his hands in his pockets. That made things worse. Sheepish Logan was as handsome as confident Logan. “How about I stay tonight? To talk. At least say you won’t shut me out of your life—your lives.”

  “I can’t imagine doing that.” The confession slipped out without her permission. “Shutting you out, I mean. Yes to the staying. For a little while, anyway.” She nodded at the couch. If they stayed out here, it would be easier to keep things friendly. To remember she couldn’t dive into something too quickly.

  He sat down and grabbed her hand. Desire jolted through her. When he pulled her to sit next to him, and her thigh pressed against his, heat raced over her skin, raising the tiny hairs on the back of her arms.

  “I want to know what comes next.” He held her gaze, sincerity in his eyes. “I’m not talking about me. For you. For the baby. What do you want for your future?”