The Pirate Handbook

by Pat Croce

  All sailors on the high seas are well aware of the unpleasantries and perils of life below decks. And because pirate ships normally carry a crew three to four times larger than merchant ships, this large company—while great for battle—results in an even more cramped and volatile environment. Sleeping side by side on the steerage floor, or on tightly packed hammocks swaying from the rafters in one continuous motion, is the norm.

  Although there is always work to be done aboard a pirate ship, we still enjoy plenty of leisure time—too much, in some cases, as there are long periods of boredom between the action and excitement of sighting a prize’s sails. Crewmen occupy their “downtime” with music, boarding drills, and games of cards and dice (although gambling aboard most pirate vessels is strictly prohibited—and set forth in the Articles—due to its disruptive effect on the confidence and cohesion of the crew). Nevertheless, many pirates with pocketfuls of fresh plunder prefer to risk the consequence of getting caught rather than squander an opportunity to increase their wealth.

  Considering that pirates, in general, aren’t sweet and cuddly—an errant glance among them can easily be the start of bloodshed—adherence to the Articles guarantees the peace. At the very least, it lets transgressors

  [ fig. 9 ] CAT-O’-NINE-TAILS

  CAT-O’-NINE-TAILS

  This multi-tailed whipping device—a.k.a. “the cat”—consists of nine tightly wound and knotted strands of cord attached to a dowel of leather-bound wood. Used for administering corporal punishment, it is the source of the phrase: “Don’t let the cat out of the bag.”

  know what to expect should they decide to break the code. And when the Articles are breached, punishment is swift—and it ain’t pretty!

  Understand, the punishment isn’t harsh because pirates crave violence and bloodshed—at least, not all of them—but because it must serve two purposes: to keep the rule-breaker from ever running afoul of the Articles again, and, more important, to serve as a visual (and visceral) lesson for the rest of the crew.

  The most common punishment for breaking one of the ship’s Articles is flogging—being lashed with a cat-o’-nine-tails across the bare back. As speci-fied by the Articles, if one of the ship’s commandments is broken, a vote is taken to mete out punishment. In keeping with the piratical democracy, even friends will vote against their mate if an Article has been infracted. To insure the captain doesn’t simply flog men whenever he feels the urge, the flogging is only carried out by the quartermaster after a majority vote from the crew upholds the ruling, followed by the captain’s order to commence. However, if the quartermaster feels the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, he may call for another flogging vote—and possibly for the deposal of the captain!

  Once guilt has been confirmed, the transgressor is secured either standing belly-up against the mast, bent over one of the big guns, or prone atop the deck grating. One dozen strokes is the usual sentence, administered by the quartermaster with the entire crew in attendance. In extreme cases the entire crew not only watch, they participate, delivering a stroke or two apiece. This is true judgment by your peers. Just imagine the damage to a man’s body after 180 able-bodied men take their turn with the cat! To make matters worse, salt and/or brine is often introduced into the open wounds, intensifying the pain of the flogging, adding a horrific exclamation point to the penalty.

  Whether a pirate’s punishment involves a cat across the back or being clapped in irons in the ship’s hold, he should consider himself truly lucky that he isn’t marooned or, worse, keelhauled. These two fates are usually the end of the road; the latter is almost certainly a trip to Davy Jones’s locker.

  HOW TO PLAY PASSAGE

  This pirate favorite uses three dice.

  The first player tosses the dice and, if he rolls a double (two of the three dice the same), he adds their sum to the third die.

  If the total is less than ten, he wins.

  If the total is equal to or greater than ten, he loses.

  If he does not roll a double, he loses his chance and passes the dice to the next player.

  If you can figure out how to win by cheating without being caught or killed, do it!

  MAKING A CAT-O’-NINE-TAILS

  Start with a yard of rope (the thicker the better) and unravel half the length (eighteen inches), producing three separate “tails.”

  Uncurl each tail, leaving you with nine.

  Add three equally spaced knots to the cat, one at the solid end of the rope, one at the junction where the nine tails begin forming the handle, and one between the two.

  Braid the handle, wrap it in leather, or fit it to a piece of wood.

  To make your cat even nastier, add small weights or shot to the tips of each tail.

  Some particularly sinister pirates affix fishhooks to the tips of their cat’s tails. Ouch!

  USING A CAT-O’-NINE-TAILS

  Line up to the side of your target.

  Swing away.

  Note that the whip’s ends will leave nasty welts, while the knots/weighted tips will leave awful bruises, often tearing the skin, as well.

  DON’T STRIKE YOUR CAPTION!

  Aboard BARTHOLOMEW “BLACK BART” ROBERTS’s Royal Fortune, when a drunken crewman, Thomas Jones, cursed Black Bart for killing another drunken crewmember, the enraged captain drew his sword and stabbed Jones. Jones did not take kindly to the attack; he threw Roberts over a cannon and beat him unmercifully. Following the fight, Black Bart had his quartermaster call for a vote. The crew voted unanimously to uphold the captain’s honor and dignity. So when Jones’s stab wound healed, he was tied to the mast and given two lashes with the cat by all 180 members of the crew.

  THE PIRATE SONG

  Virtually every major event or task aboard a pirate ship is accompanied by a song or chant: raising the anchor, raising the masthead, trimming the sails, pumping out bilge water, plundering a prize, celebrating a victory over an enemy, etc. The chanter (a.k.a. chantyman) sings the body and we pirates shout the chorus back:

  To the mast nail our flag, it is dark as the grave,

  Or the death which it bears while it sweeps o’er the wave;

  Let our deck clear for action, our guns be prepared;

  Be the boarding-ax sharpened, the scimitar bared;

  Set the canisters ready, and then bring to me,

  For the last of my duties, the powder-room key.

  It shall never be lowered, the black flag we bear;

  If the sea be denied us, we sweep through the air.

  Unshared have we left our last victory’s prey;

  It is mine to divide it, and yours to obey;

  There are shawls that might suit a sultana’s white neck,

  And pearls that are fair as the arms they will deck.

  There are flasks which, unseal them, the air will disclose

  Diametta’s fair summers, the home of the rose.

  I claim not a portion: I ask but as mine

  ’Tis to drink to our victory—one cup of red wine.

  Some fight, ’tis for riches—some fight, ’tis for fame:

  The first I despise, and the last is a name.

  I fight, ’tis for vengeance! I love to see flow,

  At the stroke of my sabre, the life of my foe.

  I strike for the memory of long-vanished years;

  I only shed blood where another shed tears,

  I come, as the lightning comes red from above,

  O’er the race that I loathe, to the battle I love.

  [ fig. 10 ] SINGING PIRATES

  Marooning is a drastic measure of punishment often reserved for cowardly conduct, such as deserting the ship during battle or defrauding fellow crewmen of their proper shares of plunder. To be made “governor of an island” entails being left on a deserted island with the bare minimum of supplies—usually just a flask of rum, a flintlock, some gunpowder, and one round of shot. Often that single round represents the fastest and least painful way off the island. Failure to drop the hammer on yo
urself almost always means a slow death by dehydration, starvation, or exposure to the elements.

  Keelhauling involves binding the condemned man’s hands and feet with rope, tossing him overboard, and hauling him from one side of the ship to the other, directly under the vessel’s keel. This punishment is bad enough in itself, but then there are the secondary side effects to consider. Razor-sharp barnacles that cling to the ship’s hull will turn the vessel into the world’s largest cheese grater, scraping and tearing the skin, leaving the victim a raw and bloody mess. Or, if the keelhauling is done too deep, the penalized man might escape the perilous barnacles, only to receive virtually the same treatment from a coral reef. Oftentimes, only a shredded and bloodstained rope is pulled back onto the deck. Those who do return topside are usually just lifeless corpses, with drowning or shark attack to blame. But even the victims who are strong enough to survive the initial ordeal don’t elude the Grim Reaper for long; the multiple infected wounds only delay the inevitable.

  Forcing an Article-breaker to walk the plank isn’t a usual punishment, despite many rumors to the contrary. Instead, we simply tie the miscreant to a dead body and chuck ’em both over the gunwales.

  Another form of punishment involves tying the offender to the mast for any length of time and letting Mother Nature mete out justice. The time of year and the ship’s location when the sentence is carried out have a lot to do with how well the victim will fare.

  TIED TO THE MAST

  A newspaper article from 1726, “The Tryal of Captain Jeane,” provides a graphic account of how the cruel and sadistic CAPTAIN JEANE of Bristol tortured his eighteen-year-old cabin boy for stealing a mere dram of rum. After being whipped, pickled in brine, and then tied to the main mast for nine straight days with his arms and legs fully extended, Captain Jeane decided more punishment was necessary. So he untied the boy, laid him along the gangway, and trampled over him, back and forth, ultimately encouraging the entire crew to join him. Rather than join in the abuse, the men deposed Captain Jeane in the most serious manner possible—they hung him!

  PORT ROYAL

  Port Royal, on Jamaica’s southern coast, was often referred to as “The Pirate Capital of the World.” Located along shipping lanes between Spain and Panama—happy hunting grounds for prizes—it was perfectly situated for launching raids against Spanish settlements. Heralded for its debauchery, the city had at least one tavern or grog shop for every ten residents. Unfortunately, on June 7, 1692, the gods put an end to our Jamaican romps by hitting Port Royal with three powerful earthquakes and a devastating tsunami, wiping out two-thirds of the city in one fell swoop.

  YOU CAN BEAT US BUT YOU’LL NEVER DEFEAT US.

  Immediately following the destruction of the Ranger by the HMS Swallow, CAPTION JAMES SKYRM—who sailed in consort with BLACK BART ROBERTS—ordered their black flag thrown overboard so the Royal Navy could not display it in triumph.

  BLACK BART ROBERTS’S ARTICLES

  from his ship, Royal Fortune

  Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized.

  Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes. But if he defrauds the company to the value of even one dollar of plate, jewels, or money, he shall be marooned. If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.

  None shall game for money either with dice or cards.

  The lights and candles shall be put out at eight at night, and if any of the crew desire to drink after that hour they shall sit upon the open deck without lights.

  Each man shall keep his piece, cutlass, and pistols at all times clean and ready for action.

  No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man shall be found seducing any of the latter sex and carrying her to sea in disguise he shall suffer death.

  He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning.

  None shall strike another on board the ship, but every man’s quarrel shall be ended onshore by sword or pistol.

  No man shall talk of breaking up his way of living till each has a share of 1,000. Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.

  The captain and quartermaster shall each receive two shares of a prize, the master gunner and boatswain, one and one half shares, all other officers one and one quarter, and private gentlemen of fortune one share each.

  The musicians shall have rest on the Sabbath Day only by right. On all other days by favor only.

  CAPTAIN JOHN PHILLIPS’S ARTICLES

  from his ship, Revenge

  Every Man shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full Share and a half of all Prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one Share and quarter.

  If any man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be marooned with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm, and Shot.

  If any Man shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be marooned or shot.

  If any time we shall meet another Marooner that Man shall sign his Articles without the Consent of our Company, shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.

  That Man that shall strike another whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Moses’s Law (that is, 40 Stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.

  That Man that shall snap his Arms, or smoke Tobacco in the Hold, without a Cap to his Pipe, or carry a Candle lighted without a Lanthorn, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article.

  That Man shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.

  If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement, he shall have 400 Pieces of Eight; if a Limb, 800.

  If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.

  Lesser offenses, such as fighting between crewmembers, are normally settled on land, where the antagonists are instructed to settle their differences via duel—pistols at ten paces (see Black Bart’s Article VIII). Conflicts among crewmen are not seen just as a morale buster but as a display of complete and utter disrespect for the captain and his officers. Simply put, any and all shipboard disagreements between pirates would be settled at first landfall, either by pistol or sword (or both, depending on the result of the first volley). And so, to the duel we go:

  Adversaries begin the duel back-to-back, pistols cocked and ready.

  At the quartermaster’s call (“One!”), dueling pirates take one pace forward.

  Forward progression continues with the next pace occurring at the exact moment of the quartermaster’s decree.

  Some combatants hold their pistols tight to their bodies, muzzles pointed skyward, elbows at a right angle. Fools!

  To win the duel, have your pistol already aimed—as much as possible—thereby requiring less movement, and allowing for a faster shooting action, when the final pace is announced.

  Rather than having to spin, lower the weapon, aim, and fire, keeping your pistol aimed from the start (waist high is ideal, as the ball will rise en route to its target) will tip the scales in your favor.

  Becoming a smaller target—by crouching, for instance—while taking the paces is a sensible approach to not only winning the duel but surviving it. By “becoming small,” duelers have a better chance of steadying their weapons, improving their aim and the likelihood of a hit on their opponent.

  Looking cool and/or brave is immaterial; someone is going to suffer pain, and, if you want it to be the other guy, anything you can do to tip the scales in your favor is worth trying.
<
br />   Don’t wait for the call of “Ten!” to turn and fire. Instead, after the ninth pace, take a breath, turn, and fire.

  When it comes to gunfights and duels, there are no second chances. You’re a pirate. If you have to cheat to win (and live), so be it!