The Pirate Handbook

by Pat Croce

  Put your right hand through the bottom of the extending loop of rope and grasp the two dangling strands; the loop should rest on the back of your forearm. Using your left hand, lift the loop over your right hand to create a movable loop that will support your hammock.

  Slip one knotted end of hammock material through the movable loop of rope and slide the rope down around the knot.

  Repeat the preceding three steps for the other end of the hammock.

  Spread the hammock material and apply firm, even pressure to test its strength. If it holds, climb in and get some rest.

  Once again, don’t do the work yourself. Force someone else to do it then scare him away with a dagger, cutlass, or flintlock.

  Undisturbed rest is an invaluable commodity for anyone, especially pirates, and it is extremely difficult to come by aboard a ship. Sleeping on deck, under the stars, is an option but is not very comfortable. Below deck, the floor is the last place a pirate wants to bed down; rats, refuse, sewage, and seawater are just a few hazards one might encounter. Thus, on land as at sea, hammocks are the answer. They take up very little room, can be mounted virtually anywhere, hardly ever break—they swing/flex with the movements of the ship—and can be fashioned by just about anyone with even the barest of essentials. So when it comes to sleeping ashore, hammocks are once again the most sensible option, if for no other reason than the fact that pirates are already familiar with their construction. An added bonus: They keep you off the ground, away from the innumerable creepy-crawlies (snakes, spiders, ants, land crabs, etc.) that scurry about the islands at night.

  From a survival standpoint, fire should be your next order of business, although depending on the time of day (or night), making a fire will often be the first priority.

  Fire has been linked to human survival since man first walked upright. From providing warmth, to cooking food, to warding off critters and insects, to simply lifting spirits, fire is a physical and psychological necessity, and pirates can often be found congregating around campfires on the beach long after they’ve left the bordellos and rum taverns.

  Most pirates carry the proper tools to start a fire quickly—namely black powder or an oil lantern, along with a match or a flintlock pistol. But in a pinch—occasionally even the most well-equipped pirates find themselves without proper fire-making implements—the ancient concept of friction (produced by rubbing two objects together) can be relied upon.

  For friction to result in fire, at least two pieces of dry wood are required. And while there are numerous methods for creating flame from nature’s bounty, the best and most efficient is the spindle and bow.

  [ fig. 32 ] MAKING A FIRE

  MAKING FIRE VIA SPINDLE AND BOW

  Four pieces of wood are required:

  #1 THE BOW should be two to three feet long and one inch thick, tied with a piece of strong twine.

  #2 THE SPINDLE should be about one foot long and one inch thick, rounded at one end, formed into a blunt point at the other. You will push the rounded end into…

  #3 THE SOCKET BOARD, a palm-size piece of wood used to hold the spindle in place while bowing. Use grease or sweat on the rounded end of the spindle, allowing it to move easily in the socket board. Finally, place the blunt point of the spindle into…

  #4 THE FIREBOARD, which is roughly one foot long, three to six inches wide, and a quarter-inch thick.

  IN ONE END of the fireboard, carve a small hole and cut a V-shaped notch with the opening at the edge, pointing at the hollow. Wood shavings from your bowing will collect here and, from the heat produced via friction, become charcoal dust. If done correctly, in the center of that dust will be a hot ember. Once you have your utensils and a relatively wind- and rain-free place to work, begin bowing:

  Place the fireboard on the ground, either atop two small sticks or in a dry hollow to ensure airflow.

  Place tinder under the fireboard, beneath the V-cut.

  Twist the bowstring once around the spindle.

  Place the blunt end of the spindle into the notch on the fireboard and the rounded end into the socket board. Using long, even strokes, twist the spindle back and forth vigorously until smoke is produced.

  Continue bowing, creating thicker smoke. If done properly, the charcoal dust collected in the V-cut can be rolled off the fireboard onto the waiting tinder.

  The dust should now be hot enough so that if lightly blown upon, a glowing ember will appear. As the ember’s glow increases, gently pick up your tinder and continue blowing to create a flame.

  Place the flaming tinder onto your preassem-bled kindling and slowly feed the fire with small, dry twigs and other combustible items until it is large enough to handle a branch or log.

  Because this process is far from easy and is extremely time-consuming, think ahead and always have some type of fire-making implement available.

  Be sure to build your fire away from water, wind zones, and combustibles, especially your newly constructed lean-to.

  Before you get started with the spindle and bow (or any fire-making method, for that matter), you should first assemble your entire fire-making “kit.”

  Gathering tinder is the first step. Paper, saw dust, wood shavings, dry bark—any small, light material with a low flash point will work. This is what you light first.

  Lit tinder is then placed into a prearranged formation of kindling—smaller pieces of wood (dry twigs, dry pinecones, dry coconut husks) that catch fire easily. Kindling should be assembled into a framework of sorts; a small “teepee” is ideal because smoldering tinder can be placed inside it, and air will easily feed the flames.

  Once the kindling has taken and produced a small, consistent fire, fuel can be added. Dead, dry branches, grass bundles, logs, dry dung—any larger material that will burn (and burn for a while) can be considered. Keep plenty on hand to make certain the fire burns throughout the night. The last thing any pirate wants to do is start tromping around in the darkness—especially if he’s foggy from rum—looking for something to burn. Too many dangers lurk about on islands at night, the top two being pirate hunters and other pirates!

  While fire is a nice luxury, it isn’t an essential element for survival. Water, however, most certainly is. You can survive for a few weeks without food—granted, you’ll be a weak pirate, but still among the living—but you can only last a few days without water.

  Some pirates discover this the hard way. Shipboard barrels of water are prized commodities. When pirates plunder their prey, water barrels are among the first booty they search for, right up there with rum barrels. And when rain isn’t prevalent, more than a few ships detour from their merchant-shipping lane “hunting grounds” to the nearest group of islands to replenish their stocks of life-sustaining freshwater.

  When pirates go ashore, especially on an unfamiliar or previously uncharted island, if they are planning on staying for any length of time, scouts are immediately dispatched to locate a freshwater source. Most islands have at least one, although some are bleak and barren and, therefore, not hospitable for more than a day or so (depending on the ship’s remaining supplies). No matter where you are, or what terrain you’re traversing, there are a few commonalities that can help you find water.

  ANIMAL TRACKS. Animals require water just as humans do. A heavy concentration of tracks (a game trail, for example) can be followed and, sooner or later, the tracks should lead to a water source.

  HEAVY CONCENTRATION OF PLANTS. An abundance of plant life in any given area generally indicates the presence of surface water and/or an underground aquifer. If there are thick clumps of green, water is close by.

  SWARMING INSECTS. Insects congregate to drink, especially at dusk. Bees, dragonflies, mosquitoes, and ants are the best types to watch, as they can lead you directly to a water source.

  BIRDS. Watch where they flock. If you don’t locate a water source you may find a nesting site that will provide you with food (eggs or baby birds).

  VALLEY FLOORS. If no visible water source can b
e found, find the lowest point on a valley floor and start digging along the sloping sides to find water.

  As soon as a freshwater source is discovered, you’ll need to determine if it’s safe to drink. If it’s discolored, has a foul smell, contains dead animals or animal skeletons, has foam, or has a high salinity (or a high amount of crusting around it), chances are the source has serious problems. If you’re in doubt, force a prisoner or the least-liked crewman to sample it. Then wait a few minutes. If he doesn’t start to claw at his throat, or simply keel over and die, drink up.

  If the water is not drinkable, most pirates (at least the sober ones) are smart enough to take the proper steps to make it so. Otherwise, healthy pirates will quickly become sick pirates. And in most cases, sick pirates will soon become dead pirates.

  Boiling water is the easiest method of purification. Simply make a fire, boil the water for ten minutes or so, let it cool, and drink. If you can’t boil water, then you’re probably not a very good pirate and you deserve to die anyway. But just in case there’s a good reason why a pirate such as you can’t boil water, here are a few additional methods for making it safe to drink:

  SEDIMENT HOLE: Instead of drinking water directly from the source (stream, lake, river, valley floor, etc.), dig a small hole a few feet away and allow it to fill with water. Although the water may initially appear cloudy, it will be sufficiently filtered to allow safe consumption.

  FILTRATION TOWER: A filtration tower is a manmade, tri-level tripod device composed of sticks and any porous cloth. The top level of cloth contains grasses; the middle level holds fine-grain sand; and the bottom level holds charcoal.

  Place a mug or flask below level three.

  Pour water into the top layer of grass, allowing it to filter down through all the levels.

  Collected water has been filtered of larger contaminates, however microscopic organisms may still be present.

  DISTILLATION: This method involves a still. A basic still can be made with two containers and a tube.

  Place one end of a tube into the container of liquid to be distilled (in this case, water), and the other end into an empty collection container.

  Heat the filled container until it boils.

  The produced vapor will enter the tube, where it will cool and condense, filling the collection container with clean, drinkable water. This method can be used on both sea-water and urine.

  PRODUCING WATER BY HOOK OR BY CROOK

  If you’re stranded (or marooned) and cannot locate any freshwater sources, you may be able to produce some.

  DEW RAG

  In the morning, use a shirt, bandana, or any other moisture-absorbing cloth to soak up morning dew.

  RAIN RAG

  When it’s raining, tie a cloth around a slightly slanted tree or bush, allowing one end to hang freely into a container or, if thirsty, your mouth. Cloth will serve as a funnel, guiding rainwater into the container, as well as accumulating in the cloth itself. If no cloth is available, a thick palm frond will work.

  MOSQUITO PROTECTION

  Mosquitoes are a very real problem for pirates while doing all kinds of things like sneaking into native encampments to steal gold or waiting in ambush just inside the tree line of tropical islands or jungles for unsuspecting prey. Anything that can be done to minimize their annoying and disease-carrying bites is worth doing.

  COVERING extremities in fabric will decrease areas mosquitoes can attack.

  CEDAR SHAVINGS are a natural insect repellent for tents, debris huts, and lean-tos.

  RUB crushed cedar needles onto your skin.

  If cedar needles are unavailable, a thin coating of MUD will also work.

  SMOKE from a torch or campfire will also ward off mosquitoes.

  SMUDGE FIRES (fires fueled with leaves and green wood) produce extra smoke.

  AVOID areas of heavily concentrated standing/stagnant water.

  Once the water situation is under control, food is the next priority. Pirating is hard work. Shipboard chores alone are exhausting. Throw brutal hand-to-hand naval combat into the mix and the amount of energy you’ll require is off the charts. Consider that healthy, nutritious food aboard pirate ships is in short supply—if it exists at all—and it’s no wonder you don’t see too many fat pirates. So when pirates go ashore, good food—and a lot of it—is high on the list. In fact, eating often comes before boozing and wenching.

  Just like with shelter (and water, for that matter), finding people who already have food and simply taking it from them is definitely the piratical way. It’s certainly much easier, not to mention more fun. But if you and your crewmates are the only inhabitants on the island, you’ll have to fend for yourselves.

  Finding food in the wild is a challenging undertaking. Mounds of delicious edibles aren’t just sitting around, waiting for you to happen by. This means snaring, trapping, and hunting. The first step is to determine what game is in the area so you can decide the best way to go about capturing, killing, and eating it. Identifying animal tracks is the best approach. Not only will a hungry pirate know what to look for, but, by following the tracks, you’ll discover the best place to lay in wait for your prey.

  Hunting with flintlock or musket is the quickest method, especially for large game, but before you can shoot it, you have to find it, and that’s easier said than done. To save time and increase your chances of success, snares and traps are often the best game-taking method to employ. Once the traps are set, you can busy yourself with other tasks—erecting a shelter, building a fire, or purifying water—while the traps do what they’re designed for.

  Snares—devices made of twine/rope, fabricated into a lasso/noose, and secured to a rock or tree—are most effective when placed along a well-traveled game trail or near a heavily frequented watering hole. A simple snare consists of a lasso placed in a well-traveled area. A dynamic snare is tied to a bent sapling or tree and held with a trigger mechanism—usually a stick; when the animal is caught, the snare hoists it off the ground, making escape much more difficult. Some dynamic snares are powerful enough to snap the animal’s neck or smack it onto the ground or against a hard surface with killing force.

  SIMPLE SNARES

  Place along well-used game trails, by water sources, or near active nests and burrows.

  Make sure loop is large enough for your targeted prey, but not too large to allow escape.

  Bait snare with entrails or any other odorous foodstuff.

  DYNAMIC SNARES

  Attach trigger mechanism—a notched stick—so a minimum amount of force will set it in motion.

  Tied rope or line should be just strong enough to hold bent tree/sapling down; if too tight it may not trigger.

  Carefully bait snare after it’s been set.

  Remember exact placement of your snares so you don’t become caught in them yourself.

  In truth, the best trap to take the time to build and set is one that can be employed against your enemies as well, such as a pitfall trap, especially in the proximity of any treasure you’ve buried.

  PITFALL TRAP

  Dig a pit, ideally at least three times deeper than the target species is tall.

  Line pit with sharp spikes. Wooden punji stakes are best.

  Bait pit on opposite side of the target’s expected direction of approach. If your quarry is a pirate-hunter or another pirate, a gold or silver doubloon, a bottle of rum, or a pretty lass makes for great bait.

  Conceal the opening with branches and shrubbery.

  Remember where you put the trap or you might trap yourself.

  Though hunting game is a bonus when you go ashore, fish are a much more common part of the pirate diet, whether on ship or on land. Fish are prevalent around all tropical islands; fishing with hook and line accounts for many a meal, but spearing them is much easier.

  However, if you strike out on both surf and turf, there are always plants and insects to consider. But just like with making fire, if you’re a real pirate, you won’t strike out. After
all, you’re not going to satisfy your appetite eating bugs or greens.

  Cooking your acquired fish or game is easily accomplished without traditional implements. Virtually every common cooking method—boiling, steaming, parching, roasting, and frying—can be achieved in the field with a little ingenuity.