The Void

by Christine Bernard

  “You drive me crazy.”

  “That’s the same as love,” I said.

  She chuckled and shook her head. “Yes, I love you. Would you at least consider another item? It’s only fair we discuss this.”

  “Yes, of course. It was only a suggestion.” This wasn’t entirely untrue. My other idea was the dumbbell. I couldn’t figure out which one I’d want more. Anyway, Keri had been saying she wanted to start working out again, so I was only helping her. It was one of those things she’d probably hate me for at first, and thank me for later. Keri was one of those lucky people who didn’t need to work out, but lately I’d noticed a bit of softness around her belly that could do with some tightening up.

  “I was thinking more along the lines of a deck of cards,” she said. “You know, it could be something we could do together.”

  I resisted the urge to laugh. It was what I had told Ryan to bring when he’d asked for ideas. I figured he’d end up listening to me, so I’d told him the most boring thing I could think of. I pretended to mull it over, then nodded. “Not a bad idea. Okay, let’s give it some more thought before deciding. We’ll make sure we bring something we both agree with.” The trick with Keri was to always make it seem as if she was in control. Happy wife, happy life, and all that. Well, happy girlfriend, at least. Right now, we didn’t discuss our future too much. I still felt too young to worry about it, and I was pretty sure Keri wasn’t going anywhere.

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “You see, I can be nice.”

  “You can. Okay, I’m starving. Let’s eat. That smell is driving me crazy.”

  We sat in the living room, eating noodles straight out of the box, and watched some telly. I wasn’t really watching, though. I kept thinking about the contract, and how crazy our life would be for a while. Keri was obviously thinking the same thing. She turned to me at the same moment that one of the main characters got shot in the chest, barely flinching as the actor she liked best fell to the ground.

  “You nervous?” she asked me.

  I smiled. Nervous wasn’t the word I’d use. “No, I’m confident.”

  She laughed. “You always are.”

  Chapter 3

  Sarah

  I hadn’t been to the park in years. Quite strange really, considering there were so many around me. Although, some were more like green patches, too small to be considered parks. Must look pretty from above. Not that I would know. People often said I had my head in the clouds, but my feet have always been firmly on the ground. Literally, that is. I’d never left Victoria Point, and barely ever visited the city. “What was the point?” was what I always told other people. It was a funny joke, and how others reacted told me a lot about that person. Anyway, I was still young. I had plenty of time to see the world. Right now, I was happy where I was. My mom always told me I was an old soul. Perhaps she was right.

  Going to the park was about as spontaneous as I got, and I was looking forward to it. I only worked the morning shift that day, so I had the whole afternoon to myself. I even packed a picnic, although my bag was mostly filled with things I ate every day. It was easy when you worked at a café, especially one known for their baked goods. I had packed an extra chocolate brownie today. Those were worth the extra calories. I’d walked here from work, which had taken much longer than I expected, and while the sunshine was nice, I wished I had remembered to bring a hat. I even had one sitting at the café, and I’d seen it in on my way out, but I’d thought a bit of sun would be good for me. I swear it had gotten hotter with each step I took. Now that I was here, the only thing I could think about was shade. I avoided the kids’ play area completely. I liked kids, but only in small doses, and they went against the very reason I had come to the park. It was hard to find anywhere with shade that wasn’t occupied, though—who knew the place was so popular—but I finally found a great wild fig tree to sit under. My mother said it was called a Moreton Bay fig tree—or some other fancy name I couldn’t remember—but I never thought of it like that. Looking up at it now, I felt a longing to climb it. It was huge, and twisty, and it was hard to figure out where it stopped and started. Man alive, it was beautiful. Not only was I going to come to the park more often, but I would make sure to always visit this tree. I pulled out the blanket from my bag and sat down. I then spent the next few minutes arranging all my picnic goodies around me. I hadn’t planned on coming here when I woke that morning, so everything I had was what I had grabbed from the café. Except for my book, which I always carried with me. I was currently making my way through all of Jane Austen’s novels in the order she wrote them, and I was now on Mansfield Park. Seeing the title made me giggle. I was clearly meant to come to the park today. Gazing around at my little ensemble, I felt as if I was doing this picnic right. What had given me the idea to come here in the first place? Maybe it was Larry. I smiled as I thought of him.

  I loved Larry. He was like a slightly off-beat, eccentric grandfather to me. I saw him most days, enough to have formed a slight bond with him. Our conversations didn’t go much further than talking about the weather, or about the coffee and food he ordered, but he had been coming to the café for his breakfast for so long it was hard not to feel like I knew him well. He’d been there early this morning, and the two of us had spoken ever so briefly about things beyond our usual scope of chatter. It had happened straight after he’d ordered a second cup of coffee, and for a man who was so stuck on routine I’d been taken aback by the request. I had never been good at suppressing my feelings, so the surprise on my face must’ve been obvious.

  “Am I that predictable I can’t order another cup of coffee without rousing suspicion?” he’d asked.

  “Yes.” I couldn’t help but be honest with him. I figured he was the sort of man who would appreciate that. “I’ve been serving you the same thing for years.”

  “Except that crazy day you didn’t have eggs,” he had pointed out.

  “Don’t remind me. Everything went wrong that day. So, another coffee, huh? Stepping out your comfort zone or somethin’? I was listenin’ to a podcast on that just the other day. It’s good to do that sometimes. They say life is all about finding that happy balance between routine and spontaneity.” I’d become a podcast junkie these days, mostly to fill the time between customers at the café, and this one in particular had resonated with me, probably because I had a tendency to do the same thing all the time. Maybe that’s why I had always felt such a kinship with Larry. He was the male version of me in fifty years. A stickler for routine.

  “That’s exactly right.” He’d seemed delighted by my observation. “It’s the sweet spot to the perfect life. Good for you for figuring it out at such a young age. Took me far too many years. So, today, I shall be spontaneous.”

  “That’s great. I’m surprised you don’t usually have two cups. The coffee here is great, don’t you think?”

  “I must agree. Did you know coffee releases neurotransmitters that are beneficial to the brain and the body? That’s why you always feel so good after a cup.”

  I really did love Larry. His kookiness pleased me. “Neurotransmitters, huh? Wow, you’ve gone all Bill Nye on me. You know what, I’m going to have another cup too then. Hey, are you a scientist or something? I know you were a professor, but, I mean, on top of that.” He sure looked like a scientist.

  “I’m just a regular guy,” He replied with genuine modesty. He was not an airs-and-graces sort of guy. Maybe that’s why I liked him so much. Old souls didn’t like people who spent too much time looking in the mirror.

  “Nah, you’re definitely better than regular.”

  I was so busy thinking about the conversation with Larry, that when I looked up and saw him walking with a group of people, I thought I had conjured him up. It didn’t take me long to know it was really him, and not a wizardly figment of my imagination. His white hair glistened like a beacon, and I eagerly ran up to greet him.

  Chapter 4

  Keri

  Just
before we got into the van, a woman came running up to us. She had pale skin, which made me wonder if she was from somewhere else, and small pink circles had appeared on her cheeks from the heat. You get two types of people in this world. You get those who look horrible when sweating, and those who shine from it. She glistened under the sun’s rays, but she was so cute it was difficult to feel any bit of jealousy toward her. She may look of European descent, but the moment she spoke she was all Australian.

  “Larry!” Her voice was as cheery as her demeanour. “I thought it was you. I see our talk about spontaneity wasn’t in vain.”

  I looked to Larry, who seemed as if he’d seen a ghost. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and shuffled his feet as if he had been forced to do a solo dance in front of a crowd. “Oh, hi Sarah. Beaut of a day, hey?”

  She beamed, and seemed completely unaware of his awkwardness. “It sure is. Fancy seeing you here on the one day I decide to go to the park.” She looked around at all of us. “What’s going on here?”

  “Oh, well, it’s…” Larry stumbled. The show was meant to be a secret. Some bureaucratic thing he’d explained to us that was out of his control. Apparently these sorts of shows could take up to a year to air, although he assured us we’d get our money much sooner.

  “Ah, you’re teachin’ again, aren’t ya?”

  “A little,” he replied.

  “Well, I’ll let you get on your way,” she said. “Lovely meeting all of youse,” she said even though Larry hadn’t introduced us at all. There was nothing I hated more than the term youse, something I had desperately tried to get Jon to stop saying, but somehow, like the sweating, she made it look cute. By the way we were all hanging onto her every word, it was clear we all felt the same way. I’d been told I was likeable, but I was pretty sure I didn’t stack up against this girl. Only Larry didn’t seem to be as smitten. He was acting as if she was the last person in the world he wanted to see. “I’ll see ya tomorrow, Larry,” she said and frowned at him. She must’ve picked up on his attitude.

  “Sure, Sarah. Uh, yes, tomorrow.”

  Jon raised his eyebrows at me and whispered, “That was weird,” but I couldn’t reply. If I did, I would end up saying something I shouldn’t. I was still seething, and I couldn’t imagine I’d looked all that friendly to the poor girl, but Jon had gripped my hand so tight I knew I couldn’t say anything. We’d been sworn to secrecy, and there was no way Ryan just happened to find out about this thing, too. This meant that not only had Jon pushed him to apply, but he’d done so without my knowledge. Why? Just to see the surprise on my face? Just to avoid me arguing with him? If I didn’t need the money so much I would’ve left and called the whole thing off, but I was desperate for it. My parents had already helped me so much, but it was time for me to make it on my own. It was just the sort of thing Jon would do, too. I wasn’t sure if he had a reason, or if it was to prove once again that he could get poor Ryan to do whatever he wanted him to do. I loved Ryan, but he was always second guessing himself, and having Jon as his friend didn’t help much. Jon said he was trying to toughen the guy up, and perhaps he was right, but I couldn’t help but feel he should be a little gentler on him. Ryan was a sensitive soul, while Jon…I sighed…Jon was sensitive, too. Only nobody knew that but me, and even I had a hard time believing it at times. I tried to push everything aside, and concentrate on what was ahead. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this.

  We climbed into the van that had been waiting for us down the road, and Ryan gave me a wink. I rolled my eyes but chuckled despite my annoyance. Jon looked as if he was about to burst, like he always did when he was holding in a secret. I hoped he didn’t say something and give the whole thing away. If we missed out on this opportunity because Jon couldn’t keep his mouth shut, I’d never forgive him. Thankfully, Elton had opted to ride out in front with Larry and seemed to be keeping him entertained—not by choice—with a slew of jokes that seemed never ending. I could not understand how Jon found the guy funny. Then again, comedians had always annoyed more than they amused me.

  I noticed the girl, Melanie she’d said her name was, gazing resolutely toward the front of the van, as if she didn’t dare look at any of us and start a conversation. She was fascinating, and exactly the sort of person I’d want to photograph. People were my best subject matter, but I preferred ordinary people over the ones photographers usually went for. Not that Melanie wasn’t pretty, because she was. The more I stared at her, the more beautiful she became. People like her always made the most interesting models. She sat so still now, so statue-like, and the complete opposite to the rest of the buffoons in the van. She seemed so at peace with herself, and didn’t feel the need to fill the space with unnecessary chatter. If only I could be more like that.

  “What’s up with the black-out windows?” Jon said.

  “For secrecy, I suppose.” I directed the word to him.

  “Or maybe,” Jon continued, ignoring me. “Maybe this is the actual challenge. What if this is where we have to stay for two weeks. Together.”

  “Don’t say that,” Ryan gasped and wrinkled his nose. “Imagine how much this place would stink after two weeks.”

  “I’d rather not,” I said. “Uh, so, uh, Ryan, you said your name was?” I inwardly groaned at my feeble attempts at acting.

  Ryan sniggered. “Yeah. Ryan, and you’re Keri?”

  I nodded. “So, Ryan, are you nervous about this challenge? Think you’re going to make the full two weeks?”

  “Nah, I’ll be fine. Two weeks is nothing. Told everyone I was going on a two-week retreat without signal so nobody worries when they don’t hear from me. Imagine how much catching up I’m going to have to do when I get back.”

  “What are your poor followers going to do without you?” Jon smirked.

  Ryan was about to retort but jumped when I gave them both a quick kick in the shins. Larry was driving, but I was pretty sure he could hear all of us speaking. These guys were going to ruin everything. I quickly turned my attention to Melanie.

  “Melanie, are you excited? Nervous?”

  She turned to me and smiled. Everything about her was slow and deliberate. She nodded. “A bit of both.”

  I thought about saying something more, but she didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk. She didn’t have to though, because the van came to a sudden halt causing all of us to shift quickly in our seats.

  “Sorry about that,” Larry called out. “I’m not used to driving this van. Good news, though. We’re here.”

  When Larry opened up the door for us, and we all got out, I saw we were in a garage and that we were parked next to a beautiful blue vintage car. It was the sort of vehicle rich people kept but didn’t drive, and I wondered if it was for another show being set here. The boys were swooning over it, and as Larry helped with the bags, he seemed proud, as if the car belonged to him. Perhaps it did. These TV guys probably earned a great deal. We stood a little too long while they spoke about the car, until Larry remembered we were there for another reason. He was a strange character, yet another type whom I’d want to photograph. His white hair would contrast beautifully against a dark background. He wasn’t at all what I was expecting in a TV producer, although he’d mentioned something about being the creator of the show. Odd that he had come to fetch us, and not some crew member. Perhaps, as the creator, he wanted as much to do with the process as possible. He was strange, but interesting, and as we all followed him into the house, we exchanged amused glances at one another.

  Once inside, Larry made us each sign documents, and once again I wondered where everyone was.

  “Where’s everyone?” Jon said.

  “I’m preparing you for what’s ahead,” Larry said. Then he chuckled, as if he were remembering some old joke and shook his head. “Don’t worry. The cameras are all set up inside. Okay, Elton, I’ll take you in first.”

  Elton got up and bowed dramatically while we all clapped for him. It was Jon who had started the clapping, and we’d al
l dutifully followed suite. “See you all on the outside. Best of luck, hope you don’t suck, and you two…” he said as he winked at Jon and I, “at least you’ve got each other to—” He stopped for effect, then wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “Oh, you know the rest.”

  Jon burst out laughing while I sat there dumbfounded. Did this guy really think he was funny? I could not believe Jon was laughing at something so revolting. I could still hear Elton chucking to himself as Larry led him away. Oh well, at least he’d keep himself entertained. If he was in there with me, I probably wouldn’t have lasted half a day. When Larry came back, he looked like he felt the same as me.

  “Right, Jon, Keri, if you’d like to follow me. I’ll take you next.”

  I gulped. This was it. I turned to Ryan and Melanie, who both sat uncomfortably as they waited for their turn. Ryan looked as if he regretted his decision, while Melanie looked as she always did, calm and serene. She gave off the impression that she never looked anything else but this. Poor Ryan’s face had scrunched up in distress, and he kept looking at the door as if he wanted to escape.

  “Good luck you guys. Remember, it’s only two weeks. We can do this,” I said to them. Ryan simply nodded, his mind already elsewhere, and Melanie wished us luck, too. Then, with one last glance around, we followed Larry to the room.

  “Larry,” Ryan called out, and we all stopped to turn around. For a moment I thought that Ryan was going to tell him he couldn’t go through with it. I tried to give him a look of encouragement. I hadn’t expected him to be there but that didn’t mean I wanted him to fail. I’d always had a soft spot for the guy. “What’s the TV show going to be called?” he asked.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “Ooh, good question.”

  “Oh,” Larry said in surprise. He seemed to have hit a blank as if he honestly had no idea what Ryan was talking about. Then he grinned. “The Void,” he said.