Breathe

by Sonnie Wolf

  Patrick doesn't respond. He walks straight out the door.

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  I stand unmoving, eyes closed, not knowing what to do next. I somehow turn around into Linc. He’s holding me tighter than he ever has. As I open my eyes, I see that Miles has a death grip on Briar. Landon is leaning on the fridge drinking a beer and Rafe is sitting at the bar talking on his phone to whom I assume is Sam.

  “Well, he just wrote a death wish.” Miles chuckles as he breaks the heavy silence.

  I look up at Linc’s face. He’s laughing as he stares down at me. Pulling back, he puts his hands on my jaw. “You okay?” I nod and he presses his lips to mine for a solid kiss that’s over too quick. “Good.” Keeping a hold of me, he turns us to speak to Miles. “Thanks for the heads-up man.”

  “Yeah. I thought you’d want to be a part of this.”

  “I just wish I could have gotten here sooner,” he says to me apologetically. “I had to come from Jersey,”

  “It’s okay. I handled it,” I respond.

  “I know, but that fucker needs to know his place. And it's not with you.” He pulls me tight again. “He can’t have you. I have no plans to let you go. You're my girl now.”

  “No, he can't have me.” I lift onto my toes and kiss his cheek. “I'm all yours.”

  We all settle in the kitchen. While we’re hanging around at the bar, Amy arrives with Asher. He rushes over and bear hugs me from behind. “God, Sis. That asshole is crazy.”

  “He is.” I shake my head. “Don’t swear.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Everyone left a few hours later, after playing a few games of poker (the boys) and watching a chick flick (the girls). Linc is staying with me again tonight. It wasn’t originally planned that he would, but with the turn of events from this afternoon he didn’t want to go. And I didn’t want him to.

  We had gotten to know each other pretty well over the past few weeks and I was so used to having him around most nights. We have gotten so much closer. Lying in bed each night would turn into a series of kissing, panting, touching, rubbing. We would get to a certain point and I would freeze and ask him to stop. He would reluctantly comply, never asking why or pushing further, respecting that I wasn't ready. He understood the reasons.

  If that wasn’t a test of a man's patience I don't know what is.

  As we lay in bed holding each other, so many thoughts churn in my mind. I don’t know if it’s because I overcame a big emotional hurdle today, or if it’s because I’m tired from dealing with it, but I feel the need to ask Linc questions.

  “Linc?”

  “Yeah,” he responds looking down at me.

  “Why me?”

  He readjusts on his side and scoots down on the bed so we lay face to face. “What do you mean?”

  “Why me? Things have happened so fast with us. Why do you want to be with me?”

  “Are you seriously asking me this?”

  I shrug. “Clearly you can see that my life is not what it appears to be. It's a mess. I'm a mess. And the Patrick thing...”

  “Good God, woman. You haven’t figured the why out by now?”

  I stare into his light blue eyes, but don’t respond. I've been so emotional tonight that my eyes start to water.

  “Hey.” He wipes a rogue tear from under my eye. “Don't cry, baby,” He whispers, kissing each one.

  “You want to know?” He props himself up on an elbow. I nod. He takes a deep breath. “Okay. Here it goes.” Taking a pause, he sends those eyes straight through mine. “You help me to breathe.”

  “What?” I whisper.

  He leans down and pushes his lips against my temple. “I didn't breathe before you. I felt like I was always holding it in.”

  Oh. My. God.

  He gently pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. “As you know I saw you before we actually met. I had seen you years before at my graduation. You were sitting with your family, under your father's arm. You looked so young and innocent. I knew who you were because of Miles. We almost met that day, but it didn't happen because of my family. I felt a connection just by looking at you. It was crazy. I hadn't even said one word to you and you didn't even know I existed. I also thought with the age difference that your father would find it inappropriate. A few years after that, I was in your dad's building meeting Miles for lunch, when you ran in through the lobby towards the elevators. My heart stopped at the sight of you. You looked more woman than girl. After that, you invaded my thoughts for a long time.

  “I dated here and there but something about you had me holding out. Then I saw you at Mercury and emotions I didn't know I had ran through me. I watched you, like a stalker. How you acted when surrounded by your friends; you looked so beautiful and young and free. You had the attention of everyone around you. Being the person you are, you never noticed. I thought about you even more since that night. Then, we met a few weeks after that, it only made the connection stronger for me. I felt a pull every time I touched you or was even near you. I never knew a connection like this existed. You did this to me.”

  Breathe, Grace.

  He sits up on his knees and brings me with him so we're facing each other.

  “Since that very first day I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. Watching you, I always felt as though there was more to you than everyone sees. I wanted to be the one to let it out, to see it, to experience it. And I am seeing it. Every day that I spend with you I see more of who you really are. You let me in, you let me see you for you and not just the you that everyone else gets. You let me see the real Grace Stratton. La mia ragazza bella. You took my breath away then and have held it with you since that night when I got to finally meet you, speak to you, touch you.”

  A lone tear slides its way down my cheek. He wipes it away with the pad of his thumb and leaves his hand to rest on my cheek. “I know I must sound like some kind of stalker or creepy old man that’s been harboring feeling for you for years. But I want you to know the truth. I want you to let me take care of you. Let me protect you. To be the one to catch you when you fall and hold you when you cry and smile when you laugh at my lame attempts at jokes. I need you to help me keep breathing.” He takes in a deep breath. “I want you to let me love you.”

  A knot has caught in my throat and I’m rendered speechless. He always seems to do this to me. Several tears slowly escape my eyes.

  “I know it’s too soon to talk about that, especially with Patrick coming around. And seeing as I haven't made lo-” He pauses. “I do love you. I think I've loved you since I you walked into my club. Not loving you is not an option for me.” He nods to himself and places his strong hands along my jaw. “I’ll fight for you, for us. If you’ll let me. Hell, even if you don't let me I will. I'll fight for you until the end. Until I take my last breath or you take it from me.”

  Holy mother of pearl.

  I can’t think of a thing to say. He’s giving himself to me unconditionally and I have nothing to say back to him. No one has ever spoken to me the way that Linc is right now.

  I'm paralyzed.

  He kisses my forehead then leans his against it. “Say something.”

  I shake my head back and forth not knowing what to say.

  “Let me in, baby.”

  “You are in.”

  “Not all the way. Not the way I want to be. Let me take care of you. Let me be yours. Let me love you like I know I can.”

  “My life is complicated.”

  He laughs. “So is mine. Let's be complicated together.”

  I'm falling.

  Hard.

  My mind is racing. My heart it beating rapidly. My body is aching. I haven't felt ready to give myself to him. Since Patrick left me I haven't felt the least bit sexy. It's hard to give yourself to someone when you don't feel desirable. I've been waiting until the feeling is right or I have some sort of sign that it’s time. He's been extremely patient. More than any man in the history of mankind. Really. He’s a freaking saint.


  I've never been a real sexual person. I show my love in other ways. But with Linc, I've never wanted anyone as much as I want him. Right now.

  I think he's waited long enough.

  I think I've waited long enough.

  “I want you to make love to me,” I whisper hoarsely.

  He stills and doesn’t say anything in response. After a few moments of staring at each other, he leans into me and starts kissing me. Softly.

  “La mia ragazza bella,” he mumbles quietly against my mouth.

  He moves his hands from my face; the left one lands at the back of my neck, the other grabs at my waist and lowers me onto my back. He makes a path of kisses from my mouth, down my neck and across my front from shoulder to shoulder. Slow and methodical. Gentle and loving.

  “La mia ragazza bella,” he repeats with need in his voice.

  After raining kisses on the upper part of my body, he plants both of his hands on the bed next to either side of my face and lifts himself so he’s hovering over me.

  “God, Grace. I want you in every way a man could want a woman.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

  Linc lowers gently onto me leaving no space between us. The kissing resumes as I reach around his back. Knowing that this is definitely what I want, I tug at the hem of his t-shirt. He takes it with one hand behind his neck and pulls it forward over his head. He stares down at me as if he’s waiting for reassurance that this is okay. I reach down and grab the bottom of my tank top. He stops me, and replaces my hands with his. I raise my arms and he slowly lifts the top over me.

  He looks down at me with the most loving eyes I have ever seen on a man. “Si sono così belli.” (You are so beautiful.)

  I have no idea what he said. He could have called me a whore for all I care. I'm unraveling quickly. I need him.

  I smile as he once again lowers himself onto me. Kissing my neck, he moves his way down to my bare chest, taking body parts into his mouth as he goes. He sucks and nips and makes my body shudder with pleasure underneath him. I let out a soft noise. It could have been a moan but I can’t be certain.

  Once he’s satisfied with the left side he lets out a growl from his throat as he moves to the other as to not neglect it. His large hands explore my body. One moves down and plays with the waistband of my sleep shorts. After a few moments of teasing he slides his hand in and gently rubs up and down my most sensitive spot. A finger slides. Then another.

  “Jesus, Grace.”

  My body responds to every move he makes.

  Who's wouldn't?

  My hips lift to match his movements. He expertly moves with precision. In and out. In and out. I feel the beautiful pressure building in my lower belly and between my legs. Suddenly those long fingers stop their game and he pulls them out.

  Tugging on my shorts, he pulls them all the way down my legs, throwing them on the floor behind him. And then it happens. He tucks himself between my legs and licks me.

  There.

  Right there.

  Holy shit. This is amazing. He spreads me with his thumbs and laps at the part of me only one other has seen.

  “Ahhhhhhh!” I scream.

  He keeps up this torture for what feels like an eternity. A beautiful, glorious torture. The pressure is once again building. Faster this time. My muscles squeeze tight and I call out his name as though I may die and make my release into heaven. He hangs on and doesn't slow down until my breathing starts to steady and my body stops shaking in all its orgasmic pleasure.

  He pulls back slowly and whispers, “La voglio. Ho bisogno di lei. Ti amo.” (I want you. I need you. I love you.)

  Climbing back up my body, he leaves a trail of sweet kisses. He plants his mouth on mine and I can taste my own arousal. I've never tasted myself before. Surprisingly, it turns me on.

  I need more.

  Apparently with one orgasm he’s turned me into a horn-dog.

  He's kissing me as though he can't take another breath without my air inside of him. I need to give him this. I need to give him me.

  Ohmygod, I might be in love with him.

  I writhe beneath him, wanting him to change us forever. I need him in me.

  NOW.

  He obliges my silent plea and quickly removes his pajama bottoms tossing them down the side of the bed. His hands explore my naked body. Every touch brings pings of electricity through me. He steadies himself above me, gazing down to silently let me know that he's ready. As he's about to enter, he stills as his face forms in panic.

  He shakes his head. “I...I don’t have anything with me,” he breathes heavily.

  “Oh.” I giggle. “It’s okay. I’ve got it covered.” I smile and pull his face to mine, kissing him harder than he’s been kissing me. My bruised lips kneading his, hoping they bruise, too.

  He smoothly and slowly enters me and stops as we adjust to each other. Oh God. He's hung like a damn horse. My body starts to relax around him. We find a melodic rhythm that is our own. Gliding through movements, we kiss our way through this special moment. He’s patient and steady, occasionally saying sweet nothings to me, mostly in Italian. I don't understand, but I don't care. He doesn’t go too fast and I don’t get too greedy. I let him lead and take me high up on a cloud of pure pleasure that is reserved for only us.

  “I need you,” I pant. “I need you, Linc.”

  He grins against my mouth and pulls back to his knees, keeping us locked together. His hand reaches down and rubs just the right spot while grinding into me. Our eyes don’t look away from each other. He has the sexiest look to him. I've never felt this sensation as strong as I’m feeling it right now. I'm building and building and just when I think I’ll go over the edge he quickly takes his hand away leaving my lady bit begging for more. Leaning back down over me he connects his mouth to mine, finding my tongue and attacking it with great force.

  Linc growls again and we pick up speed as he pushes harder. I scratch and claw at his back as we move faster and harder. I lift my hips to take him completely into me. I feel a tightening in my belly and know I'm near. He pulses and holds on until we’re both ready. I pant out his name as he moans into my neck. I close my eyes and let go.

  Not long after, he lets out a sound that I can only describe as a lion’s roar.

  “Oh God. Grace!”

  My name rolls out from his mouth as if he can't breathe unless he says it. I can't seem to open my eyes. He rests his forehead on mine as we come down together.

  He’s branded me as his. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. Something so full of passion and a promise of a love forever bound.

  Is that what this is? Am I falling in love with him?

  Dropping to his side, he places his finger on my chin and turns my face to his. “I want you to let me love you. Please don't be afraid to love me back.” He kisses my lips once softly. “When you’re ready.” Pulling me in tight, I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck, leaving my hands between us. We lay here, nakedly embraced in our heavenly afterglow before either of us speaks again.

  “Buona note, Grace. Ti amo.” (Good night Grace. I love you.)

  There is no way I’m going to come back from this. I’m his forever now whether he or I even realize it.

  He has the potential to ruin me.

  I'm falling.

  If only I could have the strength say it.

  Oh, God. I can’t breathe.

  Chapter Twenty

  Just breathe.

  “It's gonna be fine. They'll love you. Everyone does.”

  There’s obviously multiple meanings behind that sentence.

  I've been dragging my feet as I walk up the path to the tall French doors of a large two-story New Jersey mansion. With Linc's tight grip on my hand taking the lead, there’s no escaping this. I'm meeting his parents today. Our relationship has been moving along nicely for the past few weeks and Linc decided it was time he brought me home to meet them. Why did it also have to be Thanksgiving?
Meeting the family on a holiday. Geez, no pressure, right?

  We walk in without knocking and a young girl, who looks in her mid-twenties, takes our jackets and houses them in the side closet. The clicking of heels on the hardwood floor brings a bout of panic. Hayes runs right up and grabs a hold of me.

  “It's so good to see you Grace,” she squeals. Ryan is right behind her. Apparently, they’re still an item.

  “Lighten up girl. She just walked in the door,” Linc says while gently pulling me away.

  I let out a small giggle. “Hi Hayes. How are you?”

  “Great now that you're here.”

  “Hey, Gracie,” Ryan greets as he moves forward to give me a hug. He keeps it light and quick, noticing that Linc hasn't let go of my hand.

  “Hi. It's nice to have a familiar face here.”

  “What? Are you nervous?” He questions.

  “A bit. I haven't met someone's parents since...” Nope. No thoughts of that. Especially not today. “Well, let's just say it's been a while.”

  “Grant and Rosabelle are great. They'll love you. Everyone loves you.” He takes a quick glance at Linc and his smile slightly fades. He recovers and turns to take Hayes' hand. It appears that Linc is not a big fan of Ryan.

  We follow them out of the extravagant foyer, through a wide hallway and into a large sitting room. The grip he has on my hand gets tighter the further into the house we go. A distinguished looking gentleman, around the same age as Daddy, is sitting in a beige armchair facing a floor-to-ceiling window looking out onto a picturesque wooded area outside. An older couple is sitting on one of the two small love seat couches. When he hears our footsteps, the man I'm assuming is Linc's father stands and turns to us. He’s tall, like Linc, with deep brown eyes, short dark hair and a mustache to match.

  “Lincoln. I was wondering when you were going to join us,” he says with a smile. His death grip gets seriously tight. My hand may fall off my arm. “And this beauty must be Grace.” He walks up to me and slides his hands around my shoulders into a loose embrace. I return by putting an arm across his back. Linc will not release my poor hand.