Breathe

  “Hi, Daddy,” I say more in question than greeting.

  “Hi, Gracie.” He leans to me and kisses me on the nose.

  I pull back. “What are you doing here?” I don't mean to sound so crass. I can't help but be intrigued by his presence.

  “Well, Amy here,” he puts his hand gracefully on the small of her back, “strongly suggested that I start being a father to all my children.” She blushes as I gaze at the two of them.

  What is this? What is going on with them?

  “Are you,” I scan back and forth between them. “Are you seeing each other?” I hesitantly ask.

  Amy nods. “Yes, dear. We are.” She looks up at Daddy and smiles. “We wanted to tell you sooner, but we weren't sure how.”

  “Gracie,” Daddy adds, “this has been building for years now. Amy has been the mother you and the boys have been missing. She's family. This is a good thing for all of us.”

  “Oh.” I smile at them both and nod my head in acceptance. “Okay, then.” I lay my hand on Kennedy's shoulder. “Daddy, this is Kennedy Prescott.”

  “Ah. Related to Lincoln I assume?” Kennedy nods. “Well then, it's nice to meet you, young man.” He shakes his hand.

  “You too, sir,” Kennedy responds politely.

  “Please, Lincoln is practically family which makes you the same. Call me William.”

  “Okay. Thank you, William.”

  Politest boy ever. His parents raised him right with manners.

  “Well, shall we head into the arena?”

  Daddy holds his arm out in a gesture to usher us inside.

  Asher played amazingly. He scored a goal and only went into the penalty box twice; a few less than his usual amount. I'm glad Daddy decided to come to watch his youngest son. He watched intently but didn't cheer. He would, however, smile when Asher made a good play. I think he's proud of him. I could tell it meant a lot to Asher to have him there.

  THOMAS PULLS THE CAR up right in front of the apartment building. As I watch him move across the vehicle to the passenger side I notice him stall suddenly before opening the door.

  He reaches in for Amy's hand. She stills momentarily before taking a few steps onto the sidewalk.

  Kennedy slides out and stands next to Amy. I scoot across the back seat and grab Thomas' proffered hand. He guides me out of the SUV to the curb. Looking down to watch my step I move a few feet and lift my head.

  Oh, Shit!

  “What are you doing here Patrick?” I haven't seen or heard from him since he turned up drunk at my apartment six weeks ago.

  “Can we talk?”

  “There's nothing to talk about.” I keep my voice low and move to stand next to Kennedy. The last thing I need is to make a scene with Patrick in the middle of Manhattan.

  He glances at Kennedy and then back to me. “Bunny, please,” he begs.

  I look over to Thomas and Amy. Neither give me any indication of what I should do.

  Jeez. Thanks for nothing.

  Kennedy notices my tension and takes hold of my hand. This boy is acting more and more like Linc the more time I spend with him. I look down and he smiles up at me. He has no idea who this guy is that wants to talk to me, but he sure knows that I'm uncomfortable. His familial instinct to protect is coming forward. That's a lot for a boy to portray, but it means a lot to me to know he cares.

  “Fine,” I huff. “But not out here and not in the apartment.”

  “How about the Starbucks around the corner?”

  “Okay. But I'm bringing Amy with me.” I glance over to her and she accepts my offer with a weak smile.

  He nods. “If it means I get to speak with you.”

  I look at Thomas and mouth “it's okay” to reassure him that I’ll be fine. I then turn to Kennedy.

  “Go with Thomas. He'll take you home, okay.”

  “Are you going to be alright? Should I call someone?” he whispers in my ear as he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

  Bless this boy's giant heart.

  “No. I'll be fine. Amy and I are going to have a conversation with this man and then go home. It won't be long.” I give him a quick hug. “Thank you for coming with me to Asher's game. I'll see you soon.” I kiss him on the forehead.

  He hesitantly walks to the car and gets back in. Thomas walks around and situates himself in his seat and drives off to take Kennedy home. I'm sure Daddy will hear about this from him. We may not have too much time.

  “Shall we ladies?”

  I link arms with Amy and we all walk silently around the corner to the coffee shop. Patrick is a few steps ahead of us, head hung low.

  It only takes us a few minutes to reach the destination. There’s a small table sitting empty in the corner that Patrick leads us to.

  “Can I get either of you anything?”

  “Nothing for me,” I respond.

  “I'm fine, Patrick. Thank you,” Amy adds sternly, locking her eyes to his.

  He walks to the counter to get himself a coffee; probably a venti Pike Place Roast. That's his drink of choice.

  As we wait not-so-patiently for Patrick to return, Amy leans into my ear and whispers, “should I text Miles?”

  “Not yet.” I shake my head. “Let's not worry him. We don't even know what Patrick wants anyway,” I whisper back.

  “Mmmhmm. I think we do. I'm keeping my phone in hand just in case.”

  Oh Amy. You take such good care of me.

  Always the motherly protector. I love that about her.

  Patrick returns and sits across from me.

  “So, what is it you want to talk about Patrick?”

  “Us,” he says quietly.

  “There is no us.”

  “There could be.” He pauses and takes a sip of his coffee. “Give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

  “You had seven years to make an us. You failed. It's over.”

  He looks me straight in the eyes. “Bunny, it's never over.” His voice is solid, unwavering, and it makes me shudder.

  Amy gasps.

  I try to catch my breath.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  “It's over Patrick. I'm not yours,” I say sternly with the straightest face I can hold. “You need to let me go.”

  “Sorry Bunny, but I can't. I don't know how to live my life without you in it.”

  “You ended it. You did this.”

  “I want you back. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I regret it all.”

  “It's too late to apologize.”

  “I know, but I'll fight for you if that what it takes.”

  Dumbfounded by him, I look to Amy. “Could you excuse us for a moment?”

  She rises hesitantly. “Only for a few minutes.” She glares over to Patrick. “That's all you get. And then we're leaving.” She walks to an open table by the window and sits. I know she’s going to contact Miles. Time is running out for Patrick and this conversation.

  “What is really going on here? You've never acted like this before. What makes you so possessive over me now?”

  “You need me Bunny. And I need you.” He reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Why don't you see that?”

  I try to pull my hand away, but his grip is too solid. “I don't see things that aren't there. Besides, I’m sure Amelia is good for you. You don't need me.”

  He pauses and takes another sip of coffee with a free hand. “He's not good for you.” He dismisses my comments.

  “Ugh.” I pull hard to get my hand back and place them both in my lap. “Patrick, we’re not rehashing this conversation again. You’re exhausting me. I’m with Linc now. Nothing you can do or say is going to make me turn on him,” I say keeping my voice low.

  He snorts. “Really?”

  “Yeah. Really.”

  He leans in. “What if I think otherwise?” He leans back again. “I know some things, Bunny. Things I don't like. Things that may make you think twice about your hero.”

  Just then I hear a commotion at the front of
the cafe.

  “Can't you fucking leave her alone,” Miles spits out quietly, coming to stand by my side.

  Patrick glares at my brother. “Sorry, big brother. I'll never leave her alone. I know too many things and she's not safe. Not with you and definitely not with Mr. Prescott.”

  Miles gently tugs me to my feet. “She's always safe. Don't you ever fucking forget that.” We make our way to the door.

  “I will get her back,” I hear Patrick say smoothly for all the patrons of Starbucks to hear as I'm gently shoved out the door.

  Great. Like that's not going to be on Page Six tomorrow.

  Everything happened so fast, the next thing I know I'm in the back of Daddy's Bentley sitting between Miles and Landon.

  “Why the fuck would you ever agree to meet with that jack-off, Gracie?”

  “I don't know, Miles. Please don't be mad.” I feel like such a child. “Where's Daddy?”

  “He's walking with Amy back to the apartment,” he huffs. “You can't be doing this. For obvious reasons.” He pulls me into him and hugs me tightly with one arm.

  Gerald pulls Daddy's car away from the curb and circles the block, stopping in front of my building.

  “Please don't tell Linc,” I beg.

  Miles sighs and Landon laughs.

  “He already knows, doesn't he?”

  Miles nods. “Of course, he knows. Thomas called him before he called dad.”

  “Oh.” I feel ashamed for agreeing to meet with Patrick. I thought that taking Amy would make it acceptable somehow. Something in me always says yes to him when he wants to talk. I know it's wrong.

  “Gracie, you have got to stop this. Patrick is a dangerous man.”

  I let out a small snort. “Patrick is far from dangerous.”

  “Just stay the hell away from him!” I jump at the sound of his angry voice.

  “Okay,” I whisper. “But I still don't think I did anything wrong.”

  Miles grumbles something incoherent to himself and I know that the conversation is over.

  “Did you find what we were looking for, Landon?” he asks my other brother.

  “Yeah,” he responds looking through emails on his phone. “I'll print them out at the office.”

  Gerald opens the door. Miles jumps out and helps me to the curb. Landon stays in the car.

  “I'll check ya later, Gracie.”

  I lean into the car and give him a kiss on the cheek. “Okay.”

  “Miles will get over this. Just do what he says, okay,” he says and flashes his all-American boy grin at me. “Love you, Sis.”

  “Ditto,” I say as I stand back up.

  Miles shuts the door, puts his hand at the small of my back and leads me into the building cursing the entire way.

  We make our way up to the apartment in silence. He hasn't said anything to me since he scolded me in Daddy's car. When we enter the apartment, an uneasy feeling works through me.

  “What the hell were you thinking, Grace?”

  “I... umm...” I don't know what to say. I don't really feel like getting yelled at again by another man in my life. I turn away and head into the bedroom. Linc follows.

  “Grace! Answer me,” he demands.

  “I don't know.” I scream. I turn to face him, locking eyes with his. “He needs closure or something. I thought it would be fine since Amy went with.”

  “You thought it would be fine?” He pauses and runs both hands through his hair then over his face. “You seriously need to be more careful. Especially with Patrick. You have no idea what he is capable of.” He starts pacing in front of the closet door.

  “And you do? He's harmless Linc. He just wants me back and can't accept the fact that I've let him go and moved on.”

  “It's more than that.”

  “How so?”

  “It just is,” he snaps. “You need to stay away from him.”

  “I'm a grown woman Linc. I can do as I please.”

  “Not when it comes to your safety. You can't even seem to follow a few simple instructions!”

  “I'm not a child!”

  He snickers at me. “No. You're not. But you have to be careful out there.”

  “If you can give me one good reason, I mean a really good one, then I’ll never speak with Patrick again. And the reason can't be because he's jealous and wants me back.”

  He keeps pacing, glancing over to me a few times, but gives me no response.

  “I thought so. I'm going for a walk.”

  “No, you're not.”

  “Yes, Linc. I am.” I storm out of the room and as I get through the foyer door Miles grabs my arm.

  “Where do you think you're going?”

  “For a walk. I need to get away from you assholes.” I snap my arm away from his grip and run out the door for the elevator. I rush past Daddy and Amy who have just exited and poke at the button for the lobby.

  “Where are you going, Gracie?” Daddy asks innocently, looking confused.

  I don't respond.

  As the doors slide close, Linc and Miles come running into the hallway.

  “Don't go, Grace!” Linc screams at me.

  The doors shut before either of them can reach me. The elevator descends and I haul ass out to the sidewalk. As quickly as my feet will take me, I choose to go to the right and head north. Pulling out my phone I speed dial the one person who can help me get away from all of this.

  “Hey Gracie.”

  “Red! Red! Red!” I shout drawing glances from people on the sidewalk.

  “Where are you?” Rafe demands.

  “Meet me at our spot in the Park. Please hurry.” I hang up without getting a response. I know he'll be there. I break out into a run, turn left and enter Central Park.

  I make it to our spot near Gapstow Bridge. There’s a large tree with a rock that serves as a bench near The Pond. When I need to get away and think, or Rafe and I need time to talk without anything or anyone getting in the way, we meet up here. I really need him right now and this is the best place to be. He and our surroundings will calm me and get my mind set in a better place. My phone keeps ringing and text alerts are just as frequent. I turn my phone off completely.

  I sit near the stream that has turned to ice, curling my arms around myself. I look south and can see the skaters twirling around at Wollman Rink. I'm beginning to think that this is the best idea I've had in a long time to come here. I'm starting to relax.

  Why can't Linc and Miles just trust me? I don't want Patrick back. I never will. I want to be with Linc. I need to be with him and he gives me what I need. And let’s face it, that body is a sinner’s dream. But his protectiveness is getting old. I can live with Miles doing it all of the time because that's how it's been my whole life. With Linc, I need more compromise. More trust. More honesty. More...

  “Grace?”

  I'm startled and turn to the voice.

  “Patrick. How did you know I would be here?”

  “I know you better than anyone, Bunny. I knew you would need time away from everyone and that you would come here. I'm assuming Rafe is on his way?”

  “You need to go.”

  “I'm not leaving you here alone.”

  “Patrick, like you said I need time away from everyone. You included.”

  “Can I stay until Rafe gets here?”

  “No. Get away from me. You have no right to be here.”

  “Bunny,” he crouches down to meet me at eye level, “we really need to talk about things. We didn't get to finish our conversation at the coffee shop.”

  “Talking to you about the same crap is getting really annoying. I'm over it. I can't do it anymore.” I begin to feel tears well up behind my eyes.

  “Just listen then.” I look away and don't say anything. “The past few months without you have made me realize just how much I love you. What I did to you, breaking up with you the way I did, was the biggest regret of my life. I’ve been living with that regret. I thought I needed someone different. I was w
rong. Amelia is a means to get by. To not be lonely. But she doesn't fill the void I created when I walked out on you. I thought I loved her.” I cringe. “But I don't. I never did. I love you.”

  “Why are you saying this?” I whisper.

  “So you know my intentions.” He grabs one of my hands and holds it over his heart. “I love you, Bunny. I've never stopped. I know I've said it a million times, but I want you back.”

  I feel nothing as my hand presses on his chest. Except annoyance.

  A man with no heart can’t love. It’s a proven fact. Look it up.

  “You can't have me back.” I yank my hand away. “I love Linc and I'm not leaving him.”

  “Then why are you here? Why are you running from him right now?”

  “I'm not running from him and what I do is not your concern.” I stand and take a step back from him. “Please leave me alone.”

  “Bunny I have information that may change your mind about him.”

  “No. I don't want to hear it.” I stare into those baby blues that used to bring me joy.

  “You should want to hear it. He's not doing you any good.”

  “He is. And he protects me like a man should.”

  “He's not protective, Bunny. He's controlling.”

  “And I suppose you think you can protect me from everything?”

  “I know I wouldn't control you. Control does not equal love.”

  “That’s just what you want to think, Patrick. He only wants me to be happy and safe. And I am. What I have with him is real. What we had was not. I'm not sure it ever was.” I pause and take another step back. “I don't love you Patrick. I'm not sure I ever really did. It was just a teenage dream.”

  I said it. I finally said it.

  “So that's it?”

  I look down at the snow-covered ground beneath my feet. “That's it.”

  “Okay. I'll go, but only because I love you more than anything.” He bends his legs so we’re at the same eye level. “Can you do me one last favor before you walk out of my life this time?”

  I don't respond.

  “Can I have one last kiss?”