Breathe

  “What?” I gasp, taken aback by his request.

  “One last kiss goodbye.”

  Before I can answer he pushes his lips onto mine. Wrapping his arms around me placing one hand at my lower back and the other behind my neck, he traps my arms between our chests. I try to push him off, but I'm off balance; his grip around me is too tight. He’s kneading his lips onto mine and frantically swiping his tongue along my bottom lip. I refuse to part them. I get an arm free. I try to grab his hair to pull his face from mine. With his hand holding my neck, keeping my head in place, I'm unsuccessful.

  This is not okay.

  “What the hell is this,” Rafe shouts as he rushes around the big tree.

  Patrick drops his arms and steps back from me breaking the awful kiss. I pull off my glove and slap him across his face.

  Damn, that hurt!

  Patrick smiles and laughs as he rubs his cheek. “Nothing man. Just a kiss goodbye.”

  “Get the fuck out of here Patrick.” Rafe lunges forward towards him.

  “Whoa. Call off your dog, Bunny.” He puts his hands up and takes a few more steps back.

  I throw my hands onto Rafe's chest to stop him.

  “I'm not going to say it again asshole. Get the fuck away from her.” Rafe moves next to me and puts a protective arm around my waist.

  I'm stunned by what just happened. Patrick is trying his mind games on me. I can't be near him. Turning into Rafe, he wraps his other arm around me and lets me cry uncontrollably into him.

  “Take care of yourself, Bunny. I'll never be far from you. Remember that.” Patrick saunters slowly away from us.

  “Is that a threat?” Rafe spits back.

  “Nope. Just the truth,” he shouts over his shoulder.

  “If I ever see you near her again, I'll kill you myself,” Rafe yells after him.

  We both watch him walk away until he’s out of our view.

  Rafe grabs my shoulders and starts giving me the once over. “What the hell was all that? It scared the bejeezes out of me when I saw him kissing you. Are you alright?”

  He drops his hands to my waist. I shake my head in disbelief of what just happened. “I don't know. He came out of nowhere.” I start to cry again. “He can't keep doing this. He can't keep showing up in random places wanting to talk to me.” Rafe pulls me into his arms again. “Why can't he just leave me alone?”

  “I don't know, Gracie. I don't know.” He strokes my hair to try and calm me. “Believe me when I tell you that I will not let him come anywhere near you again.”

  I pull away and stare at Rafe. He’s full of anger and frustration. With the look on his face, I believe him. I think he really would kill him if Patrick came near me like that again.

  “Let's go home. I don't want to be out here anymore,” I say as I take my best friend's hand and let him lead us out of the park.

  We stay silent the entire walk. Rafe takes out his phone and taps out a text to someone.

  Why do all the men in my life get so possessive around me?

  I need a break.

  I can't breathe.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  I turn my phone on as we get closer to the apartment. So many missed calls, texts and messages. I'm not even going to look at them. They’re probably all from Linc anyway.

  “We should get out of the City for a few days. Just the two of us.”

  “I don't know, Gracie. I don't think that's such a hot idea.” He pulls me to a stop. “Everyone is already in such an uproar about you right now that leaving would just make it worse.”

  “Well I can't just sit around here day after day and be babied. I need some time away from all of them.” I wave my hand in the air. “From all of this. I love Linc and Miles but I need away from them.”

  “This,” he mimics my hand waving in the air, “isn't going to stop if you leave town.”

  “I need time to think, that's all. And I want you with me.” I move in for a hug. “You're the only one that won't yell at me or fight with me or tell me what to do. You’re the only one that can help me and take care of me the way I need to be right now.”

  “Aw, hell Gracie. You know that's not true. You need to let Linc take care of you. He's good for you. I should step aside and let him do that.”

  “No. There's not a chance in hell I’ll let you do that. I need you right now, not him.”

  “I know you do. And I need you too. I always do.” He kisses my forehead. “But Linc needs you more and it should be him.”

  “Just because he takes care of things, you want to leave me?”

  “Fuck no.” He grabs my face to steady my eyes on his. “ Don't ever say that again. Ever. I will never leave you.” He pulls me in for another hug, crushing my head against his hard chest. “How about we go out to the Hamptons house for a few days?”

  I nod against him. “Yeah. Let's do that.”

  “I'll call William and let him know the plan. Right now, let's go upstairs and see just how fucked up those men are over you missing? Oh, and just so you know, I texted Linc about Patrick. He should know, but not everything.” He's obviously talking about the kiss.

  I nod and we enter the building hand in hand.

  “HOLD UP. SHE'S HERE. I'll call you back in a few. Thanks Brody.” Linc ends his call and walks towards me from the bar. Miles comes barreling down the stairs practically tripping over himself.

  “Not now.” I put my hand up to stop them from speaking to me. Linc halts abruptly and stands still in his place. Miles stops next to him. Rafe is on the phone with Daddy behind me. I pull him after me to the bedroom.

  “Just a few days should be good. I can call the staff and let them know we’re coming.” Rafe continues his conversation with Daddy as I call the magazine editor, Beatrice.

  “Hi Bea, it's Grace...Yes, I'm fine thank you. Listen...” I tell her about my plans for the next two days. She obliges without any objections, knowing if she did Daddy would have some stern words for her.

  Rafe and I hang up our conversations simultaneously.

  After packing my largest overnight bag full of comfy clothes and toiletries, I decide to go out to the living room to face the firing squad.

  Pull up your big girl panties Gracie. This could get ugly.

  “Grace.” Linc jumps over the couch and practically tackles me.

  “Jesus Christ.” I push him away. “You go from macho, alpha Linc before I left to sappy, clingy Linc. It's weird. I've only been gone for, like, an hour.”

  “It felt like days to me.” He tries to pull me in for a kiss but I turn and walk into the kitchen.

  “Gracie, where have you been?”

  “Not now Miles. I don't want to talk to either of you,” I say sternly pointing to both of them.

  “Why? What did we do?” my brother tries to inquire innocently.

  “Your being too you right now.”

  “Baby, we just care. We're trying to keep you safe,” Linc chimes in.

  “Well lucky for the two of you I'll be out of your hair for a few days.”

  “No!” they both yell in unison.

  “What the hell? Where are you going?” Miles asks, his voice laced with concern.

  “Rafe and I are going out to the Hamptons house for a few days.”

  “I'm going with you then,” Linc states as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and begins to dial.

  “No!” I shout as Linc stops his call. “You’re staying here. Both of you are staying right here. Rafe already made plans with Daddy and Thomas will be going with us. We’ll be perfectly safe.”

  “You can't go. Not without me.”

  “I can and I am.”

  “Gracie, let him go. You’ll be safer with him than with Thomas,” Miles directs.

  “Thomas was in the Marines. I'm sure he can handle just about any situation thrown at him.” I grab a Diet Coke from the fridge and head back to the bedroom.

  “Grace, wait.” Linc strides up to me in the hallway. “If you feel you have
to go, let me come with?”

  “I need to be away from you for a bit so I can think.” I turn on my heel and go into the bedroom without letting him respond. Rafe is standing by the window looking out.

  “Are you ready Rafe?”

  He nods and puts an arm around my shoulders. “Are you okay?”

  “I will be. Let's go.”

  Rafe grabs my bag and we make way to the foyer to grab our jackets. He goes into the front closet and gets Duritz's things ready for him as I go into the living room to say goodbye.

  Linc is standing by the glass doors looking out to the afternoon sky. He doesn't notice me approach him. I can't see his face but his body is leaning on the doorframe hunched over. I don't want him to feel this way.

  I'm not leaving him specifically. I'm leaving Patrick. I'm leaving the City. I'm leaving the situation.

  Call it running away. Call it cowardice. Call it whatever you want. I need this.

  I wrap my arms around his waist, linking my hands at his stomach. He stays leaning on the doorframe with his right arm and moves his left arm so his hand covers mine on his stomach. He lets out a low groan.

  “Do you have to go?” he asks in a shaky voice.

  I walk around him keeping my arms linked. He surrounds me with both of his arms. “I do. We haven't had any time apart since we started our relationship. So much has happened so quickly. Things are weird with Patrick. I feel uneasy with all of this. I need a little time to think on my own.”

  “Are you doubting me?” He sounds deflated. It's breaking my heart. “Are you doubting us?”

  “No. I just need some space.” I look up at him. His eyes are sad. They’re tortured and glossed over. “I've never been in a relationship this intense before. We've moved so quickly and gone through so much already. With Patrick looming around I need a moment to myself. That's all.”

  “He got to you. He’s making you think.” he whispers hoarsely as he looks back out to the sky.

  What the Hell is with this insecurity he has?

  “I’ve been thinking on my own for years now, Linc.”

  He looks down at me. “You ran from me today. I couldn't find you. You wouldn't answer me. And all of this right after you see that asshole.” He pauses and shakes his head side to side in frustration. “I don't want him to make you think twice about what we have. I love you and I don't think I could breathe another day without you in my life.” He stares back out to the city below.

  I don't mean to, but I'm hurting him. I'm breaking him.

  “Don't think that. Please don't think that.” I lay my head on his chest. “I told him that this was it. You and me. I'm never going back to him. I love you and only you.” Tears prick behind my eyes, but I hold them in. He needs me to be strong for him. “The feelings I have for you are so intense, but I wouldn't change a thing. I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life.”

  We both need to stay strong.

  He takes my head in his hands and presses his mouth onto mine. “Don't give up on me. I beg you, don't give up. Please be mine, always,” he pleads against my lips as he softly kisses me. “I love you so fucking much, Grace.” The kiss deepens. “So much it hurts.”

  Crying against him, I pull back and stare up into his eyes. “I couldn't be more yours.” He kisses my forehead, eyes, cheeks, lips, making his way down my chin then to my neck. He needs this. He needs me. I need him too.

  Maybe I shouldn't go.

  No. I need to. I need to clear my head.

  I lay my head back on his chest. He envelops me into his strong arms and we stand there for a while. His chest is heaving but steady with heavy breaths; my breathing in rhythm with his. As of this moment we are connected as one and I know we’ll be okay. I just need a few days to get myself together.

  Rafe innocently breaks into our intimate moment. “Gracie, we should go. Thomas is waiting.”

  I glance back up at my loving boyfriend. “Okay. Be right there.”

  “Be safe. Don't go anywhere by yourself. Call me if you need me. Actually, just call me,” he demands.

  “I will.”

  “You better. If I don't hear from you at least two to three times a day I'm coming there to get you,” he teases. I don't think he’s actually kidding about doing that, though.

  “Deal,” I giggle. I let him go but he still holds me close. “I can't leave unless you let go, Linc.”

  “Then don't leave.” He nuzzles his nose into my hair.

  Why am I leaving? I should stay.

  No. I can't. I need this time.

  It's only for a few days.

  “Don't be stupid. I'll call you when we get there.” I push off of him and he lets me go, but not before he pulls me back to him and kisses me silly. His tongue fights its way into my mouth and forcefully attacks mine. I can taste mint and cigarette. His hands grab at my hair as he pulls me as close to him as possible. Invading my mouth, he passionately shows me how much he's going to miss me. We pull back from each other, staring and breathing heavily.

  “Hot damn,” I whispered.

  He smiles with his oh-so-sexy grin and lets out a small laugh. Then his smile turns serious. He embraces me one last time. Pulling back from me, he brushes a stray hair out of my face and pushes it behind my ear. “Hurry back to me. I’ll be holding my breath until you do.”

  I'll miss this for the next few days.

  I turn from Linc, not letting go of his hand for as long as possible. Our fingertips slowly slide from each other and our arms drop as I cross the room. I feel like we’re in a scene from a romantic movie.

  Moving to my brother I walk into his open arms. “Take care of him while I'm gone, okay?” I ask of him.

  “He's going to go crazy you know.”

  “I know. That's why I need you to keep him in check.”

  “I'll do what I can. Take care of yourself, Gracie.”

  “I will. Love you.”

  “You too.” He kisses me on the nose.

  I scoop up Duritz and walk into the foyer to help Rafe with our things. I turn back to the living room to see two of the most important men in my life staring at me. Linc is standing by the glass door that leads out to the balcony. Miles is sitting at the bar on a stool. For a couple of big, strong, tough guys they sure look like pansies at the moment. The thought makes me giggle.

  I smile at them. “I love you both.”

  Turning and walking out the door, I don't look back. I can't do it. I can't handle anymore goodbyes today.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  The further we get out of the city, the more uneasy my stomach feels. I'm seriously rethinking leaving.

  I should stay.

  I can do my thinking here at home. I don't need to be away from everyone to get myself back together. If anything, I need my family and friends now more than ever. I can take time away from work. Linc will give me space if I need it. I'll get my life back. The drama won't consume me. I'm going to eat it for dinner and shit it out later.

  I will take my life back. I will be in control.

  Yes. That's it. I'm staying.

  “Thomas, turn the car around.”

  “Did you forget something, Grace?”

  “I want to go back. I want to be home.”

  “Gracie, are you sure?” Rafe asks.

  “I'm sure. Turn around. Let's go home.”

  “Whatever you need, Grace.” Thomas nods and changes lanes to head back into the City.

  “I can’t just hide from things, Rafe. I need to be in control.”

  With a big smile, Rafe hugs me. “I knew you’d get to this place. You’re stronger than you think, little missy.”

  “I guess I am.”

  I dial Linc. The other end rings and rings until the voicemail picks up. I don't leave a message. I text him instead.

  Me: Changed mind. Turned around. Will be back at home sooner than later.

  I dial Miles.

  “Gracie. Do you miss me already?”

  “Hi. I ch
anged my mind. I'm not leaving. We're turning around and coming back.”

  “Fantastic idea. How about I grab Briar and we'll come over for dinner tonight?”

  “Sounds great. I tried calling Linc but it went to voicemail. I did text him the change in plans.”

  “Okay. If I see him first I'll let him know about tonight.” Miles sighs. “I'm glad you decided to stay with us in the City. We can all head out to the Hamptons house after the New Year. How does that sound?”

  “Like a plan. I'll see you tonight.”

  “Later Gracie. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” I pull the phone from my ear.

  “Gracie, wait!” he screams.

  I put the phone back up to my ear. “Yeah?”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  “Life.”

  “I don't get it.”

  “I can't run and hide from life anymore, Miles. I need to live it. Hanging in the Hamptons may clear my head for a few days but then what? I'd just come back and have to deal with it then. Why not deal with all of this now?”

  “Exactly. Nothing is going to happen to you, Gracie. Linc and I will make sure of that. All you need to worry about is keeping yourself happy.”

  “I'll try.”

  “You better. You're all that matters.”

  “You know you're my favorite, right?”

  “I know.” He laughs. “I'll see you tonight.”

  “Okay. Love you.”

  “Ditto.”

  We disconnect.

  “So. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “It is. I can't hide from life, Rafe.”

  He throws his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. “I know. Just don't let life run into you.”

  Truer words have never been spoken.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  We settle back into the apartment and I make all the necessary calls to take the rest of this week and next off from work. The beginning of the rest of my life begins today. All I need is for Linc to come home and everything will be fine.

  A few hours later and still no word from him.

  Nothing.

  Great. It's Patrick all over again.