Stowaway!

by Jim Ladd

  “Yeah, if anyone’s going to kill our cabin boy, it’s going to be us,” said Pegg grumpily, before joining the rest of their crewmates as they began to drift slowly and silently downstairs.

  “The ghost of Long John Starseeker,” one muttered as he went below deck. “Yeah, right.” An air of deep gloom descended over the ship.

  Sam wandered to the side of the ship and stared into the black emptiness of space. All was quiet apart from the creaking of the rigging as the Apollo’s remaining sails caught the solar winds that carried the ship along. He felt tears burning his eyes and blinked them away. There was a tap on his shoulder. Sam turned round to find Barney standing there. Sam had found him terrifying before, but now the Kraken just looked sheepish, twisting his tentacles awkwardly as he looked at Sam.

  “I’m really sorry,” Barney mumbled. “Sometimes my beak moves quicker than my brain.”

  Barney looked so miserable that Sam didn’t want to make him feel worse. “It’s all right,” he mumbled. “I know you didn’t mean to.”

  There was an awkward silence as they both looked out into space. Sam watched a crumpled silver bag float past.

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “Oh, that’ll be Black-Hole Beard chucking his rubbish overboard again,” said Barney. “It’s disgusting! I mean, look at all that!” Barney pointed a tentacle at more floating rubbish.

  Sam stared at the litter, then leaned over the side to get a better look. There was one bit after another, all bobbing gently in space in a long line. A long line leading straight to Gravity’s Revenge!

  “Barney, you’re a genius!” shouted Sam.

  “I am?” said Barney.

  “Yes – don’t you see? Black-Hole Beard has left a trail that will lead us right to him!”

  Barney smiled slowly as Sam’s words sank in.

  “I am a genius,” he said quietly, looking very proud.

  “Barney, go and tell the captain that we need to get those boosters fixed!” said Sam. “The race to Planet X isn’t over yet!”

  “Strike!” yelled Barney, as Sam’s ball zoomed down the lane and smashed over all of the hovering pins. Sam grinned as the other pirates on his team clustered around him and cheered. Almost a whole deck in the belly of the ship was filled with a giant bowling alley, and there were always some pirates there having a game. Sam had never bowled much before, but the pirates’ enthusiasm was infectious. Better still, it turned out that he was quite good, and after a couple of lucky shots everyone wanted him to be on their team.

  Over the last few days the Jolly Apollo had raced ahead, following the rubbish trail through asteroid storms, past flaming comets and by planets of all shapes and sizes. But they hadn’t seen Gravity’s Revenge. Sam had quickly got used to life as cabin boy on board a space-pirate ship. Already he could scrub the decks clean of spacegull poo and still have time for a game of bowling before lunch.

  Sam glanced round at the rest of his team. He’d got to know the crew over the last few days as well. The jelly-bodied pirate, Slurp, was always grumpy, the hairy creature, Piole, actually had twelve mouths, and the fearsome-looking Snippernaut, Romero, turned out to be a bit of a comedian.

  As Sam watched, Romero grabbed a bowling ball in his claws and pretended that it was too heavy to lift. Sam was just about to take his next shot when there was a cry from the deck above.

  “Ship ahoy! It’s the Revenge!”

  Sam and the others stampeded up to the deck. “It looks deserted, Cap’n,” said Legg as he peered through the telescope.

  “Hoist the sails!” shouted Comet. “Boosters to dock speed. Easy to starboard, we’ll moor up behind that asteroid.”

  “Aye aye, sir!” came the replies.

  The Jolly Apollo eased into the cover of a large asteroid that was orbiting a small planet.

  “Gravity’s Revenge will never spot us here!” said Comet happily.

  Sam peered curiously over the side at the planet below. Maybe that was where Black-Hole Beard and his crew were?

  “Right, me lads, the plan is to sneak aboard and look for that map while the Revenge is deserted,” said Comet.

  “What if Black-Hole Beard has the map with him? Surely he’d never leave something so important behind?” asked Sam.

  “Ah, yes,” said Comet. “Ahem. As I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted, the plan is to sneak on board the Revenge once we’ve already confirmed that Black-Hole Beard hasn’t got the map on him. So first, we should go down to that planet. Pegg, Legg, what can you see?”

  The two-headed first mate was fighting over the ship telescope.

  “It’s my turn!” snapped Pegg.

  “I think you’ll find it’s mine,” said Legg.

  “Mine!” snapped Pegg.

  “Mine!” squealed Legg.

  “Mine!” sighed Comet, pushing his first mate out of the way.

  Comet placed his eye to the telescope. “Oh I say! Would you look at that!” he said, dancing around with his eye still pressed to the lens.

  “What can you see, Captain?” asked Sam as Comet giggled to himself.

  “Well, the surface is covered in jungle and large, yellow lakes. Which means I know exactly where we are,” Comet replied excitedly.

  “It’s not—” gasped Slurp.

  “It is, my fine, furry friend! That’s the planet Jungrum – and those are the galaxy-famous grum lakes! Fetch any empty containers you can lay your hands on; we’re going down for supplies!”

  There was a huge cheer.

  “Load the empty bottles and barrels into the shuttle,” ordered Comet. “I’ll take Barney, and Pegg and Legg with me.”

  “Great!” said Barney. “I’ll bring a picnic!”

  “Hey, what about me?” shouted Sam above the din. “It was my map in the first place!”

  “Oh, all right,” said Comet. “You’re only small – but if you take up valuable grum space I’m leaving you there.”

  When Sam clambered aboard the shuttle he was disappointed to see that it was basically just a rowing boat with rocket boosters on the oars. The shuttle was so crammed with empty bottles, bowls and buckets – and anything else that would hold grum – that Sam had to sit inside a barrel.

  “Hold tight,” yelled Barney, grabbing all four of the shuttle’s oars. “Yum, grum, here we come!”

  The Kraken gave the oars a heave, the boosters burst into life and they set off at blistering speed, trailing sparks like a firework through the sky.

  “Phew! That’s some rowing boat!” gasped Sam, struggling to his feet.

  “Fastest one this side of Spabula galaxy!” said Barney. “There are buttons on the handles to control the speed and you move the oars to change direction.”

  The boat was so quick that by the time Barney had finished explaining how the shuttle worked they had landed.

  Captain Comet climbed out of the boat and had a quick look at the dense vegetation all around them. “This way!” he said, stalking off through the undergrowth, his coat flapping.

  “How does he know where Black-Hole Beard will be?” Sam asked as he struggled out of his barrel.

  “If there’s one thing the captain’s good at, it’s pretending he knows what he’s doing,” replied Legg.

  “And that’s the only thing he’s good at,” added Pegg.

  The jungle was hot and steamy and the plants were difficult to fight through, even with Barney at the front. He was doing a great job of making a path through the vegetation by chomping on the thick blue leaves and slimy jungle vines. Sam stared in disbelief as yet another tentacleful of leaves went into his beak. But although Barney’s belly was big, the jungle was much, much bigger.

  “Stop!” cried Comet suddenly, standing dead still.

  Sam watched as the captain went cross-eyed. He seemed to be staring down at his own nose.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Sam.

  “His moustache is twitching,” whispered Legg.

  “Is that a bad thing?”
asked Sam.

  “That’s always a bad thing,” warned Pegg.

  “HHHEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP!”

  The shout shattered the silence. For a moment the pirates stood staring at each other.

  “Let’s go!” said Sam.

  “Yes,” agreed Comet. “Back to the shuttle, men!”

  “No, I mean let’s go and help!” said Sam.

  “Oh, of course,” said Comet. “Barney, chomp in that direction!

  Pirates to the rescue!”

  The pirates went crashing through the jungle as fast as Barney could eat a pathway. Branches grabbed at their clothes and spiky leaves tore at their faces. Then they were through, tumbling out of the dense wall of plants and on to the wide shore of a lake with fizzy, lemon-yellow waters that stretched out into the distance.

  With a whoop and cheer the pirates ran headlong into the foamy waters. All except Sam, who stood in amazement as the pirates splashed around filling up bottles, barrels and even their hats with grum, laughing like lunatics.

  “Come on!” shouted Sam. “That can wait! What about the person who was shouting for help?”

  Captain Comet spat a mouthful of grum from his mouth in a long arc like a fountain.

  “What are you talking about?” he said.

  “HHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!”

  “That!” said Sam.

  Moaning and looking longingly at the grum, the pirates squelched out of the lake and followed Sam along the shore.

  “Look,” he said.

  In the middle of the next grum lake there was a small island with a group of people huddled on it – and not just any people, but Black-Hole Beard and his crew! Sam tried not to laugh when he saw them. They must have been swimming in the grum, because they were all wearing bathing costumes. Black-Hole Beard had a full-body red and white stripy one and swimming hat with a skull and cross-rockets on the sides. His Minocerous first mate, Yarr, was wearing armbands, and at least three other pirates had rubber rings and inflatables. And they were all doing their best to be as far away as possible from the grum lake. As they were on a tiny island this involved lots of pushing and shoving.

  “I wonder what they’re so worried about?” said Comet, going right up to the shoreline to get a good look.

  “Look out!” cried Barney, wrapping the captain in a tentacle and jerking him away from the lake. Just in time – a bright-blue creature with five eyes and a long snout like a crocodile burst from the surface, its snapping jaws just missing the curly end of Comet’s moustache. It disappeared back beneath the yellow waves with a huge splash. The captain turned deathly pale and clutched at his moustache.

  “This lake’s infested with grumigators!” said Legg. “No wonder that motley lot on the island are so scared.”

  The splash had caught the attention of the Revenge’s crew, who started waving and calling them.

  “Captain Comet – thank the stars you’ve come!” cried Black-Hole Beard. “I always knew you’d track us down sooner or later!”

  “Liar!” Comet replied. “You pinched our map and grum and left us adrift!”

  “Ah, that was just my little joke, Joseph. No hard feelings,” continued Black-Hole Beard, attempting a friendly smile and failing.

  A grumigator fin broke the surface and swam past the island, causing one of the Revenge’s biggest, hairiest pirates to scream like a little girl.

  “Well, this is my little joke,” said Comet. “We’re off! Come on, me hearties, let’s fill our bottles and go.”

  “Arrr, Comet, matey! You can’t leave us here like this – it’s against the pirate code!” cried Black-Hole Beard.

  Comet stopped in his tracks.

  “Don’t fall for that, Captain; you know what he thinks of the code,” snapped Pegg.

  “But the code’s the code!” whispered Comet.

  “Enough about the code!” cried Sam. “Look, he’s got the map in a grum bottle around his neck! We’ve got to help him.”

  Even Pegg couldn’t grumble with that.

  “OK, Black-Hole Beard, we’ll help you, but we want our map back!” called Comet.

  “Deal!” replied Black-Hole Beard as another grumigator glided past.

  “Right, where’s your shuttle?” asked Comet.

  “It sank.” Black-Hole Beard pointed at the remains of a boat poking out of the grum. The rest of his pirates started shuffling their feet and looking shamefaced. “There was a bit of a scuffle when we saw the grumigators, see, and…”

  Sam grinned. “You all panicked so much you capsized?”

  “Aye,” admitted Black-Hole Beard.

  When the crew of the Jolly Apollo had stopped laughing, which took a long time, Comet agreed to go and fetch their shuttle. “Wait there,” he told Black-Hole Beard, sniggering.

  A grumigator swam lazily past the stricken pirates.

  “Believe me,” Black-Hole Beard said with a sigh. “We’re not going anywhere.”

  It took a while to struggle back through the jungle with the shuttle.

  “Why couldn’t we have flown it back here?” asked Sam.

  “Because we’ve only got enough fuel for the journey back to the Apollo,” explained Legg.

  “What kept you?” barked Black-Hole Beard.

  “Don’t push your luck,” Comet replied, mopping his brow. “Now, who’s rowing across? I can’t go obviously; I’m too important. And Barney can’t go as he’s the cook…”

  “Like we’d miss his cooking,” said Pegg under his breath.

  “….and Pegg and Legg would only argue,” continued Comet. “Which leaves you, Sam. Good luck!”

  “What?” exclaimed Sam. “You lot are unbelievable!”

  The pirates pushed the shuttle into the water and Pegg chucked Sam on board.

  Sam slowly sculled across the lake. Every so often a grumigator would appear, watching the shuttle hungrily.

  “C’mon, c’mon,” said Black-Hole Beard impatiently as the boat edged closer.

  “Map first,” Sam demanded, holding out his hand.

  Black-Hole Beard scowled as he handed over the grum bottle. Sam loosened the cork and peered inside. He could see the familiar scrap of silver spacesuit and felt a warm wave of relief. He stoppered the bottle and shoved it inside his top.

  “OK, welcome aboard,” said Sam.

  The Revenge’s crew piled into the boat. Sam got bashed and pushed as the pirates squeezed on and forced him further and further up the shuttle. Eventually he found himself jammed in Yarr’s armpit at the very head of the boat. Black-Hole Beard surveyed the scene from the middle of the shuttle as the last pirate struggled to get on.

  “It’s a bit cramped in here, Mr Yarr,” said Black-Hole Beard with a knowing nod at Sam.

  “Arr!” replied Yarr. Before Sam had time to react, the Minocerous pushed him out of the boat and into the lake.

  “Man overboard!” cackled Black-Hole Beard. “Here, give me ye hand and I’ll help you in.”

  Coughing and spluttering, Sam reached up.

  “But I’ll have ye map first,” said Black-Hole Beard with an evil grin.

  “No way!” shouted Sam.

  “Well, then you can take your chances with the grumigators,” laughed Black-Hole Beard.

  Slowly, Sam rummaged in his pockets and held up the grum bottle. Black-Hole Beard snatched it. Sam put up his hand for Black-Hole Beard to pull him in, but the pirate captain turned his back on him.

  “Right, me hearties, let’s get back to the Revenge,” commanded Black-Hole Beard.

  “You dirty, double-crossing, no-good lowlife!” shouted Sam.

  “Save your energy for swimming,” sneered Black-Hole Beard. “Thanks for the shuttle, Comet!”

  “Carrr,” squawked Baggot. “Sucker! Sucker!”

  The shuttle spun round in the water. In a shower of grum it blasted up into the air, leaving Sam in the lake.

  Sam looked towards the shore – and a set of five grumigator eyes stared straight back at him.

  “That’
s not in the pirate code!” shrieked Comet indignantly.

  “Erm, a little help here, please,” Sam called nervously, keeping his eyes on the grumigator ahead of him. The grum trickled down his face and into his mouth. Even in his dangerous situation Sam couldn’t help but think how delicious it was.

  “Sam!” shouted Barney. “Use your tentacles and swim for it!”

  “I haven’t got tentacles!” replied Sam, panicking. He started to swim as fast as he could, sure that the deadly jaws of a grumigator would close round him at any moment.

  Then a shadow moved through the water in front of him, and a spiky fin surfaced. “HELP!” Sam yelled, as the open mouth of the grumigator appeared before him. Suddenly a sandwich splashed into the water next to the grumigator, and it lunged for that instead of Sam.

  “Oh, good shot, Barney!” yelled Comet.

  On the far shore, Barney was throwing his picnic sandwiches from every tentacle. The grumigators snapped them up as soon as they hit the water. “At least someone appreciates my cooking!” the Kraken yelled.

  “Sam, quick!” shouted Comet.

  “I haven’t got many sandwiches left!” added Barney.

  Sam swam faster than he knew he could. He was still a good way from the shore when Barney yelled, “That’s the last one!” and launched a sandwich into the grum.

  Sam risked a look over his shoulder. Behind him, the lake boiled as the grumigators finished off the sandwiches and looked around for their next snack. Sam gulped, then he kicked his legs as if his life depended on it – because it did. Suddenly he felt himself hauled the last couple of metres on to the shore, wrapped in Barney’s tentacles. The angry snapping of jaws from the lake told Sam just how close he had come to being the latest ex-cabin boy of the Jolly Apollo.

  Sam wobbled unsteadily to his feet. He was drenched to his skin and the fizzy grum had given him terrible hiccups and a sudden desire to go bowling. “Thank you, Barney,” said Sam, alarmed to find himself close to tears now the danger had passed.

  “If you start blubbing,” threatened Pegg, “I’m throwing you back in the lake.”