Course of Action: Crossfire

by Lindsay McKenna;Merline Lovelace

  “You’re an angel,” he rasped, holding her eyes, watching her pupils enlarge. “You’ve always been my angel.” Dan forced himself to stop. He was blithering because the morphine had loosened his closely held emotions for her. He saw surprise on Cait’s expression and then the joy that suddenly shone in her pale green eyes.

  “I like being your angel,” she managed shyly, her voice strained. “In fact—” she squeezed his large, rough hand “—I’ve been assigned by your ortho surgeon to help you through recovery, Dan. I’ll be with you all the way...”

  Oh, yeah, his leg. He’d forgotten about it until just now. His emotions, his mind and heart had been on Ben dying and how it was affecting Cait. She took his hand and laid it against his belly and he squeezed her fingers in return, a little of his strength returning. This was the first time there had been any real intimacy between them, man to woman. Dan tried to ferret out the unexpected joy he saw banked in her eyes. Did Cait want his touch?

  Maybe it was his opiate-drenched mind, Dan told himself. Cait had had other relationships over the years, all with civilian men, who’d come and gone. What on earth had he just seen in her eyes? She kept grazing the flesh of his hand and lower arm, as if wanting to touch him. It felt like more than a medical touch. But was it just her normal bedside manner? Dan didn’t know, and he was too drugged right now to think two coherent thoughts in a row.

  “Are you thirsty?”

  He nodded. “Thirstier than a camel.” When Cait released his hand, he wanted to reach out and capture it once again. But he didn’t. Dan ached for continued contact. Wanted so much more of it—and her. Even now, he could feel himself stirring beneath the blue blankets across his lower body. Even on morphine. He had it bad for Cait. Dan savagely suppressed his sexual desire.

  Cait rolled the tray over to his bedside, filled a glass of water and placed a straw in it for him. She lifted the straw, placing it between his lips. The gesture was so damned sensual Dan felt his body respond again. He drank the entire contents of the glass. He ended up drinking one more glass before he was sated.

  After pushing the tray aside, Cait sat on the side of his bed, her hip inches from his. Dan could see a tent of covers over his lower legs from his knees to his feet. “How are your parents doing, Cait?” His voice was stronger now. His brain was actually functioning up to a point.

  Cait’s expression saddened. “They’re suffering, Dan. If you’ll allow me, I’ll tell them what you just told me. That you were there with Ben when he died.” She reached out, fingers skimming the hand resting on his belly. “It would help them so much.”

  “Yeah, go ahead.” Dan saw moisture in her eyes again, her grief on the surface. “His last words,” he rasped, “were about you. Ben asked me to take care of you.”

  Her fingers closed around his, and he saw how badly Cait needed to be held and comforted. She would have to be the strong one for her devastated parents. Who was there to comfort her? He wanted to be the person to do that. But Dan could barely do anything right now. He was so damned helpless trussed up in the bed, not to mention physically weak. It took every bit of his strength to speak, to squeeze her fingers. Wanting to do more, unable to, he saw her strength, saw her swallow back the tears and give him a tremulous smile of gratefulness.

  “Ben was always overprotective about me.” She shook her head.

  “Because he loved you.”

  “I know.” Cait closed her eyes. “I miss him so much. I was so looking forward to you two coming home.”

  It felt as though a knife had sliced open his heart. All Dan could do was cling to her fingers, somehow convey his guilt. “I’m sorry, Cait. You can’t know how much...”

  She sniffed and sat up, pushing red tendrils behind her ear. “We need to concentrate on you now, Dan.”

  Dan watched her struggle with her emotions, place them gently aside for Ben, her whole attention now focused on him. It felt good. Fortifying. Necessary. “My mother? Joyce?”

  “Oh, I talked to Joyce earlier. She couldn’t get off work at the software company to come and wait for you to come out of surgery. I told her no worries, that I’d be here for you. She was relieved. She’ll be here tonight after work to see you.”

  Dan grimaced. “Just as well.” Worried, he asked, “Did she yell at you?”

  After years of abuse by her alcoholic husband, Joyce had become a testy and defensive woman. Soon after they’d moved from Rush City, Texas, to Honolulu, his father had died. It had been his dream to move. His father had sold their small cattle ranch and dragged them to Hawaii in order to fulfill his wish. His mother hadn’t wanted to leave her extensive family in Texas. And Dan had been in the Army six months later when his father died of a massive heart attack here in Honolulu while out on a golf course. Dan had come home on emergency medical leave to bury his father and listen to his angry, bitter mother curse her husband at his graveside.

  Now, Dan worried that Joyce had taken out her bile on Cait.

  “She was upset, which is understandable, Dan. She wanted to be here.” Patting his hand gently, Cait said, “Joyce is worried about you.”

  Biting back a curse, he growled, “Just as well she’s not here, Cait. I’m not up to dealing with her. All she can do is say the sky is falling, that life sucks. She’s like a toxic black cloud that overshadows everyone within five minutes.”

  Dan knew Cait was more than aware of Joyce’s depression and mood swings. She had tried to get her some help, but his mother was stubborn and angry. She was in control of her life, finally, and that was that.

  Cait give him a doleful look and a tremulous half smile.

  “She’s been abused, Dan. But let’s not talk about that right now. I know Dr. Allison Barker, your ortho surgeon, is going on rounds right now.” She looked at her watch. “It’s 0800. She should be here any moment now. She’ll tell you about the state of your leg.”

  Dan had lost track of time and days. His whole world centered on Cait. She wore an ID badge clipped to her left pocket, indicating she was hospital staff. “Okay,” he said. “Are you on duty?”

  “Yes, beginning at 0900. I asked Dr. Barker if I could come and stay with you until you became conscious. She said yes.”

  “Nice waking up to an angel,” he said thickly. Her eyes sparkled.

  “I’m glad you think of me as your angel,” Cait teased, smiling.

  Her smile went straight to his grieving heart, lifting him, making him feel hope. The love he held for Cait wanted to be known. Dan quickly squelched the urge to tell her how he felt. “Yeah, I’ve always thought of you that way, Cait. I know some of the soldiers you’ve helped, talked with them, and they say the same thing about you—that you’re an angel. You’ve helped so many people.”

  “And now, I get to help you.” Cait caressed his shaven cheek, holding his cloudy gray gaze.

  A doctor in her early forties quietly entered the ward. She was a brunette with blue eyes and she wore a white lab coat. The talk among some of the other men in other beds farther down the line stopped.

  “Oh, here’s Dr. Barker,” Cait said, standing. She smiled down at Dan. “She’s the best.”

  The tall, spare woman approached his bed. She offered her lean hand and Dan weakly raised his.

  “You’re looking awfully good, Sergeant Taylor. I’m Dr. Barker. I was your ortho surgeon for your injured leg. Are you up to a little talk about the surgery I performed?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said. Dan liked her warmth. She wasn’t like so many doctors—cold and robotic. Her alto voice conveyed her concern for him.

  Opening his chart, Barker said, “You were hit with a bullet in the right femur, Sergeant. You’d lost nearly four pints of blood. They took you to the hospital in Bagram, where they stabilized you. The next day, you were taken on a C-5 flight to Landstuhl Medical Center in Germany. I have a good friend there—Dr. Travis. He’s an ortho surgeon like myself. He called me because he said your broken femur was so bad that he thought he needed to amputate it.
”

  Dan scowled, sudden shock hitting him. He couldn’t lift the tent to see if his leg was still attached or not.

  “Oh,” Barker said, following his gaze, “your leg is still there. I told the ortho to stabilize you, do what he could, and bring you here where I’d do the final operation on you and determine whether or not we could save your leg.” She smiled a little. “And we did save it. Me and my team. But Dr. Travis is a brilliant ortho surgeon and he helped make my job possible.”

  “I still have my leg?”

  “Sure do, Sergeant. And you’re going to keep it.” Her brows went down. “But because you’ve got a lot of screws in the bones, holding the femur together so it can knit and grow strong once more, you’re in for a lot of bed time.”

  “How long?” Dan tried to steel himself, watching Cait who had stood back, her hands at her sides, her expression open and vulnerable.

  “Two months minimum, Sergeant. It’s a very difficult recovery and that’s why so many surgeons amputate. Your recovery time is going to be a lot longer, a lot more painful, but I have a great PT here.” She motioned toward Cait. “And she felt saving your leg was a viable option. So did I. Cait will be your PT specialist, Sergeant. I know you know one another, so that’s a plus. Cait said you are fast friends.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Dan said. “We’ve known each other for eleven years.” And I’ve loved her all that time. He glanced over at Cait, whose eyes glimmered with unspoken joy, and he managed to lift one corner of his mouth to show he was glad, too.

  “These first two months are going to be a special hell, Sergeant,” Barker warned him. “You’re lucky—I understand Cait plays a mean game of Monopoly. You play Monopoly, Sergeant?”

  Dan grinned a little, trading a glance with Cait. Her cheeks were flushed now. “Yes, ma’am. She usually beats the pants off me.”

  “Well,” Barker said, smiling a little, “be prepared to play a lot of Monopoly these next two months. You’re bed bound for the first six weeks, and you’re going to be bored out of your skull. Miss Moore can’t begin PT until we can get you ambulatory, and that won’t happen until the six-week mark. So get your mind wrapped around that, Sergeant Taylor, for the long haul. Okay?”

  “Anything to keep my leg, ma’am.” Dan held the surgeon’s gaze. “Thank you for saving it...”

  Giving a curt nod, Barker said, “It was my pleasure. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” She moved on to the soldier in the next bed.

  * * *

  Cait tried to get a hold of her emotions. She walked from the swimming pool area at five o’clock, finished with her last soldier of the day. Wanting to see how Dan was, she’d promised to have dinner with him tonight. How she looked forward to seeing him! She hurried through the massive medical center and made it up to the third-floor Ortho. When she entered the ward, she saw Dan had been placed in Fowler’s position, and he looked sad but alert.

  “Hey,” she called softly, “how are you doing?”

  Dan lifted his head. Instantly, his heart took off with joy. “Better now that you’re here.”

  Grinning, Cait came over and looked him over. “How’s your pain level? Holding?”

  “Yeah. Nurse was just in and adjusted the drip.” Cait’s red hair was now tamed into a ponytail, the tendrils lovingly caressing her high cheekbones. “I’d give anything to get a shower, though.”

  Cait sat down on the edge of the bed gently, not wanting to cause his leg any discomfort. “Hasn’t the nurse given you a bath yet?”

  “No.” Dan grimaced and rubbed the seven-day growth of beard on his face. “I’d like to get cleaned up. Is that possible?”

  “Do you mind if I give you a bath and a shave?” She held up her hands and she smiled. “I’m well trained.”

  The idea of Cait doing that for him damn near sent Dan into a boiling cauldron of heat and need for her. “Sure...”

  Cait stood. “Be back in a minute. I know there’s a nurse who’s out sick today on the Ortho ward, and that’s probably why you didn’t get your bath. I’ll ask the head nurse if she minds if I take care of you instead. Be right back.”

  Within ten minutes, Cait was back with everything she’d need. Using the rolling tray, she set up what she’d need to shave his face.

  “I didn’t know you did this kind of thing,” Dan muttered, apologetic, his throat tightening with sudden emotions. Cait had brought over a small washbowl of warm water and applied the shaving foam to his face, which felt like sensual foreplay to him.

  “Well, you’ve never asked what I do here,” she teased lightly, her palm light against the side of his face while bringing the razor downward from his temple to his jaw. “Now,” she said, smiling into his eyes, “don’t talk while I’m shaving you, okay? Just sit back, relax and enjoy it...”

  Dan closed his eyes, head against his pillow, drawing comfort from her quick, light touches. Cait was so close, her hands delicate and yet firm against his flesh. Sparks of heat zigzagged down through him. This was intimate. This is what he’d always wanted to share with Cait. In no time, she’d scraped the beard free from his face. Dan was sorry it was over as she gently patted his face clean with a warm, damp towel.

  “Are you always going to shave me?”

  She laughed and took a warm cloth, gently finishing cleaning up his face. “Only until you feel stronger. Maybe a day or two more. Why? Was I that bad?” She tilted her head, studying him. “No cuts.”

  Dan managed a sour smile of sorts. “No...it was good. Thank you...”

  Cait gave him a serious look. “Have you ever been bathed before, Dan?”

  He stared at her. “As in a hospital bath?”

  “Yes.”

  “No...never. Why?”

  “Because—” she cleared her throat “—it’s kinda intimate.” She gestured down toward his lower body. “Everything gets washed.” She gave him a worried look. “I don’t know if you want me to do this. Would it be embarrassing for you? Uncomfortable? Maybe you’d rather wait and let a nurse you don’t know do it for you?”

  Dan noticed how Cait’s face turned red with embarrassment. “Oh” was all he managed to choke out. And then he searched her eyes. “You don’t have to do this, Cait. It’s all right. I understand.” Because she’d never seen him naked. Never seen his whole body. The thought filled him with a sudden shaft of boiling desire. His dreams were coming true in real life. Only, as he saw Cait’s face and expression, he said, “I’m okay with it. But are you?”

  She shrugged. “Listen, I bathe guys in the ortho ward. Sometimes, when they’re short a nurse and I don’t have a PT patient, I’ll come up here and lend a hand. I’m game if you are.”

  He was more than game, but he tried to look serious about the issue. What was he going to do if he became erect? Still, Cait wasn’t totally innocent...and she was a professional. “Okay,” he said gruffly. “Let’s do it.”

  Cait nodded and leaned over him, pulling him slowly into a more upright sitting position in order to start the process. “I’ll untie your gown and then I’ll pull the curtains around your bed so you have privacy.”

  Dan nodded, his skin tightening as her fingers flew over the three ties against his back, releasing them. Suddenly all his torrid thoughts, all the hot dreams of loving Cait he’d had through the years, rose unbidden. Dan watched as she pulled the long, light green curtains around his bed. When she turned, he saw how serious she’d become.

  “Are you sure about this?” he demanded. Because he loved her, cared for her and never wanted to hurt her or make her feel embarrassed. He was the antithesis of his alcoholic father, would never want to harm someone he loved.

  “Well,” Cait said wryly, pulling the gown off him and keeping the covers in place around his waist, “this is a bit uncomfortable for me, but don’t worry. I’ll deal with it.”

  “You’ve almost seen me naked, Cait,” he teased, leaning back, closing his eyes.

  “That’s true. And I know what a man looks like. So, you just li
e back and let me get you cleaned up. You’ll feel so much better afterward.”

  Dan nodded. “Well, if it gets to be too much—” he pried his eyes open, seeing how flighty Cait had become as she retrieved the towel, wash cloth and soap on the tray “—you can stop at any point. I’ll be okay with that, Cait.”

  She gave him an amused look. “Maybe if I was a greenhorn eighteen-year-old I’d have issues, but I’m not eighteen anymore, Dan. We’re adults. We’ll handle this. Now, close your eyes and just enjoy this warm wash cloth and the wonderful scent of Ivory soap. Okay?”

  And enjoy her hands on him... Already he could feel himself hardening. He swallowed. “Yeah...okay...but I’m not made of stone...”

  He lay back and tried to relax as she soaped down his neck and shoulders, that cloth so soft and warm feeling. He couldn’t help but think this was beyond any fantasy he’d ever had about Cait. And as much as Dan tried, he couldn’t stop his body and mind from thinking of Cait as his lover as her hands skimmed across his powerful chest and torso. It felt as if she was loving him, exploring him, not just washing away the stink. His morphine-laden mind dreamed whether he wanted it to or not.

  “Just relax,” Cait said as she moved quickly, washing Dan’s upper body. His eyes were closed, but she could tell that he was affected by her touch. His skin kept tightening where she washed his body. It was pure, unadulterated pleasure to see this man’s body. She hurt inwardly to see the scars, the cuts and old bruises discolored with age. His body was a story of combat. Cait had secretly wanted to touch Dan in this way, a loving way, caressing him. Her throat felt parched as she patted his upper body dry with a soft, white towel. Afterward, she placed another dry towel across him to keep him warm.

  As she pulled down the sheet and blankets, positioning them up and over the tent, her heart started hammering. He was erect. This wasn’t anything new to Cait. It happened. But this was Dan, the man she’d secretly loved for so many years. And he wasn’t the average man at all. It sent unexpected heat pooling into her lower body. Cait was well aware that Dan was powerfully masculine, but his arousal made him even more potent.