Santa's Secret

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “This is so good,” she says as she takes a bite of the onion ring. “Like, I haven’t had one of these in years.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because everyone is always watching. They’re waiting for people like me to screw up so they can capitalize on it.”

  I pick up my burger and take a few bites. Random pieces of bacon fall onto my plate and before I can grab them, she snatches them up. “What’s the worst thing they’ve said about you that was true?”

  Laney stabs her salad with her fork as if it’s offended her somehow. “That I can’t keep a man,” she says, sighing.

  I’m not sure what the right response is, but I reach across the table and rest my hand on hers. “Somehow I don’t think that’s true.” I know it isn’t because she could’ve easily kept me.

  Laney’s eyes shoot up and connect with mine. I smile, but she doesn’t. I start to remove my hand from her, realizing I’ve overstepped my boundaries, only to find her fingers interlocking with mine.

  As soon as our waiter steps to our table, she pulls her hand back. I try not to let the sudden movement mean anything. I get it. She has appearances to keep up, and I don’t fit the mold, which when I think about it, is fine. Laney and I are in two very different places in our lives, and will likely never be on the same page.

  Nine

  Delaney

  “So besides me, what else does Holly like?” I ask as Fish and I walk through the aisle of a department store. When we first walked in, I went right for the toddler section and started piling things into my arms. It wasn’t until he asked who I was shopping for did it hit me that I have absolutely no clue what size a seven year old is. He was gracious enough to steer me in the right direction, but I quickly found the clothes aren’t the same. They’re not as soft and fun. These designers are trying to make these little girls look like teens.

  “Wonder Woman, Barbies,” he says as he checks the tag of the outfit I’m holding up. He grimaces and shakes his head. “She likes to draw, color. I don’t know, I guess she’s your average second grader.”

  “When I was in second grade I had my dad build me a stage in the garage so I could perform for the neighborhood.” I shrug. I thought I was normal until my elementary classmates started making fun of me. Dolls only interested me if they were part of my productions.

  Aiden laughs. “Do you ever think about directing?”

  I shake my head. “I love what I do, but being behind a camera really isn’t my thing.”

  “But you thought about it in high school. I remember you mentioned it one time in passing, something about how the drama teacher wasn’t listening to your direction.”

  “Plays are different,” I tell him.

  He leans against the rack, bringing himself closer to me. “What about while you’re here then? The kids will do their holiday play for the festival. You could direct that.”

  I look at Aiden as if he has two heads. He must be crazy thinking I could direct a bunch of kids in a production when I can barely keep my life on track. I put the outfit that I’ve been holding back on the rack and step away. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much that Aiden suggested this. Maybe because deep down, I’d love to direct a play or two in my spare time, even act on Broadway under the bright lights with a live audience where I can see judgment on their faces. Call me crazy, but seeing whether or not I move people or evoke some sort of emotion would be a highlight of my career.

  Aiden reaches for my hand, halting my fleeing feet. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “Not at all.” No, you said everything right, but I’m so lost in my own head to actually make something like this work. But in the few short seconds I thought about it, I’ve realized it’s something I want to do.

  “Are you sure because back there…” he turns and looks over his shoulder. Surprisingly, I do too, hoping to find a shadow of myself, pointing and mocking me for being so indecisive and closed-minded.

  I take a deep breath and look around. A few people are staring, but thankfully, they don’t have their phones out. “Is the festival still three days?”

  Aiden smiles brightly, almost as if he knows he’s won some great prize. “No, it’s four. Two full weekends now. The first weekend is the tree lighting ceremony on Friday night. Saturday is all day with vendors, and there’s an igloo and snowman competition, plus the play and the dance, and Sunday is the hockey game. Your dad changed it about three years ago to give people more time.”

  “Dance?” I question.

  “A few years back the council came up with a dance party. Adults only.” Aiden stuffs his hands into his pockets.

  “They did? Huh, my parents never mentioned it. I bet they like to dance all night.”

  “Right along with my parents.”

  “Do you still skate in the hockey game?” At the conclusion of every winter festival, everyone gathers at the lake for a round-robin tournament. Most of the time, the games last well into the wee hours of the next morning. Dominic and Aiden had been on the same team the last I knew.

  Aiden steps toward me, bridging the gap between us. The smell of his cologne is subtle, yet familiar. “I do. It’s really the one time I can hit someone and not get into trouble because I’m a police officer.”

  I laugh and shake my head, the motion bringing us even closer. “Dom says the same thing.” When I look up at Aiden, he’s smiling.

  “Ahem, excuse me, but may I have a photo with you?”

  Instantly, I step away from Aiden and focus on the young girl standing at my side. I nod and wait for her to stand next to me, expecting her to take a selfie, but she doesn’t. Instead she hands her phone to Aiden, without even asking him if he’d mind taking a picture. I’m embarrassed and can feel frustration boiling within. It’s rude to assume someone is going to take your picture, especially if they haven’t offered or been asked. I try to make eye contact with Aiden, but he’s not looking at anything but the phone in his hand. He steps in front of us, and I stand as still as I can, while he snaps the picture. I’m not sure I even smile.

  “Here ya go,” Aiden says as he hands the phone back to the girl. Only now, a line has now formed, and Aiden is struggling with the amount of phones he has in his hands. After the tenth photo, I sigh heavily, wishing my assistant or Calvin were with me so I could be done already.

  “Delaney, are you ready?” My heart sinks a bit when he uses my name, but I know it’s because others are around. I nod and reach for his extended hand, linking my fingers through his. A small giggle escapes as he makes a mad dash for the entrance. The small crowd we left behind yells out my name, but he continues to keep a brisk pace, weaving us in and out of the shoppers.

  We duck into the Disney store and I immediately let out a squeal of delight. I love this store, and everything it represents. “We’ll definitely find presents here,” I tell him. Aiden glances at me, and then his eyes fall to our joined hands. I should let go, but I don’t.

  “Is it always like that?”

  I grimace. “Sort of. Usually, I have my assistant or bodyguard with me, and if we go to the mall or somewhere out in the open, there’s extra security around. I took a chance coming here, thinking everyone would assume I was on a tropical island nursing my broken heart.”

  “Is it broken?”

  Turning toward Aiden, I glance up at him. Aiden squares his shoulders and his brows rise a fraction of an inch as I take him all in. He clears his throat, but doesn’t look away from my heavy gaze, even as I move closer to him. “It isn’t. I wasn’t invested.” I’m shocked by my admission, but it’s true. In hindsight, I know now that Trey was a blip in my life. My forever is still out there somewhere.

  Aiden’s hand cups my cheek. His strong fingers press into the back of my head, bringing me closer to him. My lips pucker, waiting eagerly for his to press against mine.

  “Can I help you find anything?”

  Aiden and I jump back from each other. It’s not that we were doing anything wrong, except we�
��re in a children’s store and kissing in public is definitely frowned upon. The repercussions would be too much, especially for Aiden. The last thing I want is for the media to hound Aiden and Holly, or dig into his past.

  We spend the next hour or so shopping for Holly. Aiden let’s me pick out most everything, but I make sure he’s okay with it. I do spot a fairy princess nightgown set that has matching slippers that I’d like to buy for Holly, but I want to check with my mom first to make sure Aiden would be open to Holly receiving a gift from me.

  By the time I’m done with what I need and his arms are loaded with not only my bags, but his as well, it’s pitch black outside. Aiden walks me to my car and helps me get everything situated. “You know, had I known you were coming shopping we could’ve easily ridden together.”

  “Had I known you were coming, I would’ve given you my list and stayed at work,” he says playfully.

  “I had a lot fun today, Fish.”

  “Me too, Laney. And I get to tell Holly that I saved you today.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, you do. She’ll think her father is a real hero.” At least he is to me.

  Aiden pulls me into his arms. His embrace is warm, friendly… too friendly. I thought that after our almost kiss he would try again, but he’s kept his distance. I get it, though. I’d probably be the same way if I had lost my spouse. Some loves you never get over. When he pulls away I smile, hoping to convey my gratitude.

  “So I guess I’ll see you around.”

  “Probably,” he says with a grin. “Ramona Falls is small. I’m bound to pull you over again.”

  I punch him lightly on his shoulder and he cowers.

  “Seriously, though. Think about directing the school play for the festival. I know it’s only a few weeks away, but the kids would love it.”

  “See ya, Fish.” I get into my car, purposely ignore his comment regarding the play. As much as I’d love to do it, I can’t march into the school and ask that I be given the responsibility. I’m sure they already have people to make sure everything goes off without any complications.

  Aiden shuts my door and waves as I pull out of the spot. My head is swirling, thinking about missed connections with him. Would he have followed me to Los Angeles if we were still dating? It seems unlikely. We had only been together a few months, half a year or so if we had made it to graduation. That’s not enough time for someone to make a life changing decision. If he would’ve asked me to stay, I would’ve told him no.

  On my way, I decide to call Mindy. I’m eager to see her and spend some time with her family. I haven’t been the best friend, letting my career consume my life, but I have sent her children gifts and did buy something for them today.

  “Sup?” she asks.

  “I can’t believe that’s how you answer the phone.”

  “Eh, I knew it was you. I suppose I could’ve been like OH EM GEE it’s Delaney Du Luca!”

  “Brat.”

  “I know. What’s up?”

  “Nothing,” I tell her. “I’m driving back from the mall. I had to get some clothes, picked up a few presents, and happened to spend the day with Fish.” I mumble the last part, unsure of how she’ll react.

  “Hold up. Did you say fish? As in Aiden Fisher?”

  “Uh huh. Mindy, I think I like him.”

  “Wow… I just… wow… You know what? Good for you. Good for him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Mindy adjusts her phone and it sounds like she closes a door. “Sorry, I don’t want Joel to hear. Did you know they’re working together?”

  “No, I didn’t know Joel was a police officer. When did that happen?”

  “A few years back. He wasn’t happy at the bank so he took the test and went to the academy. He’s happy, but moody. Anyway, Aiden’s vulnerable, Delaney. His wife died and he’s raising Holly by himself. We did some fundraisers for him to help offset the medical expenses insurance wouldn’t pick up, but he’s struggling. His house is falling apart. Joel and a few of the guys offered to help him fix it up, but he blows everyone off.”

  The more Mindy talks about Aiden, the more today makes sense. At lunch earlier he wanted to order chips and he made a face at anything I picked out over twenty dollars. I thought it was because he didn’t like my taste, but if the man’s broke, I can easily see why he doesn’t want to spend money.

  “Min, is Aiden broke?”

  She sighs, and that’s enough to tell me he is. “He’s very proud, Delaney.”

  “I know. Listen, I gotta run. I have some calls to make, but I want to come by and see you and the kids, maybe harass Joel for a bit, just let me know when, okay?”

  “This weekend. Stop by on Saturday.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  I hang up and drive the rest of the way home in silence. Everything about today makes complete sense. I just wish I had seen it sooner.

  Ten

  Aiden

  The presents I picked up for Holly sit tucked tightly away in my closet, hidden under garbage bags of clothes I have to do something with. I’m not looking forward to the day when I have to find creative ways to conceal any of her gifts. I know I made it hard for my parents and most of the time my mom would hide mine and Meredith’s gifts in the car or attic where we didn’t have access.

  Standing back, I make sure everything looks normal before closing the door. I don’t exactly expect Holly to come busting into my room to rifle through my closet, but a dad can never be too sure. I’m happy with what I was able to buy today, even with Delaney picking clothes and toys that were out of my budget.

  When I was with her, I felt rather inadequate. She was spending money right and left, almost as if it grows on trees. I suppose for her, it does. I’ll never know what that feeling is like though, and while it’s not Laney’s fault I’m in this predicament, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her I live paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet. I had enough issues trying to maintain my composure. Being next to Delaney and trying to look at her as a friend and not a movie star was hard, but I think I managed not to make a complete fool out of myself.

  The side door into the kitchen opens just as I step out into the hallway. The voices of Holly and my sister instantly fill the emptiness in my home. I miss the laughter that used to be here. The warmth of what having a wife felt like. When Heather found out she was sick, it was too late to do anything except make her comfortable. Overnight, everything changed. I had to be present. I had to make sure Holly made it to school, Heather made it to her appointments, and I had work. My life became about schedules, grocery shopping, paying bills. All things Heather had done for us. It took her getting sick for me to realize how much I took her for granted.

  I clear my thoughts as soon as my eyes land on Holly. She looks tired as she staggers toward me. “Rough day?” I ask as she falls into me.

  “You have no idea. The playground can be torture.”

  Meredith and I both laugh at her over exaggeration. “Well, I’m sure a nice long bath will ease all that tension away.” I wish I were joking, but Holly has a penchant for bubble baths, much like her mother. If I don’t set the timer, Holly will stay in until her skin rivals that of a ninety-year-old woman. “Why don’t you go get your toys ready, and I’ll be there in a few minutes to start the water.”

  “You got it. Bye Auntie Mere.”

  “Bye, sweetie. See you tomorrow.”

  As soon as Holly is down the hall, Meredith and I move into the kitchen. “Productive day?” she asks.

  I nod and try to keep the smile off my face. The truth is, despite everything, I had a great time with Laney.

  “No need to fill me in, I already heard you saved the day.” My eyes go wide, and she shakes her head. “It’s Delaney Du Luca, Aiden. She’s one of the biggest stars out there and you, my brother, just happened to be her knight in shining armor.” Meredith pokes me in the chest for emphasis. I drop my head to hide my smile, but I can’t get anything past her. “Spill the details because th
e stuff I read all over the web is very outlandish.”

  “What’d you read?”

  Instead of answering me, Meredith turns her attention to my refrigerator. I cringe as she opens it up. I half expect her to complain about the lack of food, but she doesn’t. She hands me two beers before closing the door. I pop the tops of both and give one back to her. “Let’s see, you were angry and told people to back off. A few comments said you showed your badge and pushed people out of the way.”

  I let those words stew for a bit while I take a long drink of my beer. Meredith does the same, but it’s the way her eyes stay focused on me that I know I have no choice but to answer her. “Some of what you say could be true, but let me preface by saying, they were harassing her, and I was intervening long before I knew it was Delaney.”

  “She was just the prize behind the mob.”

  “Is that some intellectual metaphor I should know the meaning of?”

  Meredith laughs. “Not at all. So, when are you taking Delaney out?”

  The mouthful of beer I have sputters out of my mouth. My sister’s eyebrow rises, making her look increasingly like our mother. “Never? She’s Delaney Du Luca. She can have any man she wants, and I guarantee you I’m not on her radar.”

  “But she’s on yours. Good night, brother.” Meredith places her bottle down on the counter. I’m not sure she’s even finished it, which bodes well in my favor. “Don’t forget about my niece or Shelby.”

  “Shelby?” I ask.

  “You’re definitely on her radar.” Meredith is out the door before I can even come close to giving a response. I lift the bottle of beer to my lips and replay the last bit of our conversation over in my head. I’m not in a position to be on anyone’s mind, although dating wouldn’t be a bad thing.

  “Daddy!” Holly screeches, which causes me to go running. I burst into the bathroom to find her standing there in her bathrobe with her dolls lined up on the edge of the tub.