by Natavia
I was balling my eyes out now. I was five months pregnant when I got an abortion. I was only sixteen. I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. My brother was taking care of us and I didn’t want to put my problems on him. No one but Cam and Killa knew I was pregnant. I hid it very well by wearing larger tops. Killa didn’t have any parents. He was a product of a crack head prostitute who didn’t know who fathered her child. Killa grew up in foster homes. His only dream was basketball but that was crushed. Since then, he has been a different man. He was no longer Kejuan, but I still see it in his eyes. He still loves me as much as I love him.
I started crushing on him when he started staying the night on weekends. He and Corey were thick as thieves. We started flirting with each other and one thing led to another. One night, when everyone was asleep, we had sex in the shed. That was the night my virginity was taken. We’d been secretly messing around for a year. After the abortion, he stopped talking to me. A few months later I ended up with Ashaun to make Killa jealous but it never happened. When Killa started copping from Royal, he became even more like family to us. I had to sit back and watch different bitches come in and out of his life.
I got up from the table and walked to him. He looked at me with pain in his eyes. I cupped his chin.
“I still love you and I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was only sixteen and you had dreams. I thought it was best for us at the time,” I sobbed.
Killa went in his wallet and pulled out our daughter’s sonogram picture. I didn’t think he still kept it
“Five months. Four more we could’ve had her. You killed my seed when I begged you not to. You saw how much it would hurt me and you did it anyway. Now you’re knocked up by a nigga who wasn’t even man enough to see how the fuck you were doing. This what you wanted, right? A big ass house, half a million dollar cars, and shit. You want keep his baby though, right? The nigga don’t even fucking want you!” he yelled.
Those words were like a knife piercing through my chest.
“Get the fuck out!” I screamed with tears running down my face.
He stood up and wiped my tears. “No matter what, I loved you. I still do. I don’t give a fuck about these others females. You are the only one I will ever feel something for. You carried my child at one point in time and you are the only girl I would ever and always love no matter what.”
He placed my hand on his chest and he put his around my neck to feel my pulse. “Our heart still beats the same.” I officially had a break down. I broke down for my brother, my love life, and my unborn child. I was a wreck and everything hit me all at once. Someone needs to take me out of my misery.
He picked me up off the floor and carried me upstairs. He laid me down then laid down with me while I cried into his chest. This is what I needed. After all these years, I needed closure. I needed the man I love more than life to give me closure.
“I’m not tripping, shorty. I apologize for coming at you like that but that was six years overdue. It was all pent up inside and I needed you to understand you never hurt the ones you love,” he whispered.
Something pulled me toward him. I kissed him with everything I had in me. He resisted at first but he finally relaxed then kissed me back. His strong hands trailed down my back, cupping my ass I moaned. Never has a man touch felt this good.
I kissed his neck and licked his ear. I grinded into his leg. I was horny and I needed this. With all the bullshit that has been going on, I needed a temporary escape. Killa must’ve sensed it because he slipped his fingers into me. My head fell against the pillow with my eyes closed, biting my lips. He popped my breasts out of my dress and sucked on them nice and slow how I really liked it.
His fingers played across my clit like it was the keys to his piano. I grinded harder than he sucked harder. He snatched my thong off then looked at me with that sexy smirk. He pulled me to the edge of the bed then turned his fitted cap backwards. He licked his lips like I was a big ass Thanksgiving dinner sitting in front of him. His first lick caused my back to arch. He grabbed my legs and forced me down on his face while he kneeled down on the floor. He looked me in my eyes while he ate my pussy so good that my toes and every other bone cracked in my body as I came. Killa knew he was that nigga.
I was halfway off the bed as Killa held me up, legs wrapped around his neck while he tongue fucked me. He lifted me all the way up as he stood up. He held me up with my legs around his neck, pussy dead in his face. I held the back of his head for support. Side to side up and down around and around, he licked and sucked me. I exploded. After my high came down, I unwrapped my legs from around his neck. I slid down his body while he balanced me so I wouldn’t fall.
I was tired as hell and wanted to curl up and suck my thumb. I was scared to even get the dick. Things have changed since six years ago.
“Now lay your ass down. I’m about to murder that pussy. They don’t call me Killa for nothing, shawty,” he bragged.
A few seconds later, he was entering me. Killa was way bigger than Ashaun. My muscles tightened up the same way it does when I get a pap smear. I winced. I was almost in tears. I have to get used to this anaconda all over again.
“Relax,” he said, slowly moving in and out of me. I was being ripped apart. I would give a bitch her props if she can ride this stick. Minutes later, I was taking it.
“Look and see how this dick fucking you. Look at how wet I got you,” he moaned.
I sat up and looked down and it was a sight. Killa’s big pretty caramel dick was going in and out of me, coated in my juices.
“Ohhhhhh,” I moaned with tears falling from my eyes. I felt it in my stomach. It was a beautiful pain.
“What’s my name, shorty?” he asked sliding me up and down on his dick faster.
“Killa!” I screamed.
“What am I about to do?” he asked, fucking me deeper.
I heard a popping noise and all the fluid I had in my body poured out of me. My eyes rolled to the back of my head. I was going to need an IV with all the juices that drained away from me. I was going to be dehydrated after all of this.
“What I’m about to do?” he fucked me harder. There was a swishing and splashing sound that echoed throughout the room. I don’t think I have ever been this wet.
“Mmm…uuu…rder this p…uuuu…ssy.” I stuttered.
I ended up slightly pissing myself from cumming so hard. I was officially dick whipped, slapped, and hooked. Ashaun who? Killa murdered my pussy all night. Funeral arrangements are in order. RIP to my pussy. The good die young.
Killa
After I left Jamie’s crib, I was riddled with guilt because Ashaun has never done shit to me. Although I was hitting that first, I couldn’t do it again. Jamie’s pussy would have a nigga gone and I didn’t have time for that shit right now.
I walked into my brownstone. Quayla and Myla were sitting on the couch watching Bad Girls Club. I couldn’t stand Myla’s retarded ass. She only hung around to see if Corey was going to pop up. Quayla kept tabs on me like she was my PO. She doesn’t work. All she does is shop and spend my money. She has no goals, no morals, nothing. This was exactly why I didn’t do relationships.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Quayla snapped at me.
“None of your fucking business. Unlike some motherfuckers, I do have shit to do throughout the day. It must be nice to sit on your ass all day. Then there’s not even a fucking meal on the stove. Good thing I ate already.” I wasn’t talking about food. The only pussy I have and would ever put my mouth on was Jamie’s.
Quayla has been around the block a few times. As a matter of fact, most of the girls I fucked with are freaks. It keeps me from getting attached to them emotionally. Jamie really fucked my head up when it came to trusting females.
I went into my bedroom to take a shower she followed behind me like she always does. All I wanted to do my take my ass to bed and not hear her bullshit. She came in the bathroom behind me.
“You must been out fucking. That’s why you
couldn’t answer the phone? Couldn’t wait to take a shower, huh?” she asked.
“Why are you always running off with your fucking mouth? And why are you always questioning my fucking moves, shorty? What did I tell you about having your THOT ass sister over here and shit? You think you’re slick. Corey doesn’t want her ass. Tell her ass to go the fuck home. She better be gone before I get out of the shower.”
She sucked her teeth then walked out. A few moments, later my door slammed.
“Stupid bitch,” I mumbled to myself.
My dick got hard all over again thinking about Jamie’s wet pussy and how sweet it was. I called out for Quayla and she came into the bathroom. My dick was pointing at her.
“Come here and take care of that.” Ten seconds later she was deep-throating my dick in the shower with her clothes still on.
Jamie
I sat in the emergency with tears running down my eyes. It was three in the morning when I woke up out of my sleep with blood soaked sheets. I had terrible cramping and I knew what it was without a doctor even telling me.
I called Ashaun over and over again but I got no response. I was sitting in the hospital all alone as my body went through a miscarriage. Maybe it was a sign. It was God’s way of telling me that Ashaun and I needed to finally call it quits.
What man doesn’t come and see about his pregnant wife? I understand we had a falling out but I shouldn’t have to be here all alone. He was a piece of shit! I couldn’t wait until I got out of here because I’m divorcing his ass.
I couldn’t call Tee-Tee because she had the new baby. I didn’t want Tataliscious and Raja to know anything yet. Cam was with Royal and I had no one. I sent him five text messages and he responded to none of them. That was it! We were officially done, although, in my heart, I knew we were after the way Killa made love to me. Once I opened up that door again, there was no way I was going back again.
Killa
It’s been a week since I heard from Jamie. She didn’t even try to hit me up. I have been thinking about her a lot lately. I stopped past her shop to see if she was good. She didn’t look like herself when she came out. She was wearing jeans, a white tank top, and a yellow cardigan. She had gold flats on her feet and her hair was in a messy ponytail. I’ve known her long enough to know that was considered lounging wear and nothing to step out of the house in.
“Damn, shorty, what’s up with you?” I asked.
“I had a miscarriage a few days ago,” she said sadly.
I hugged her. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
She sniffled then broke down crying into my chest. “My own fucking husband didn’t even come to the hospital with me. I called and text him and he never responded. He really doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore so I filed for a divorce today,” she said.
“Things happen for a reason. You’re not meant to have a baby by that nigga,” I responded.
“I was thinking the same thing earlier but I knew it was going to happen. I was depressed because I couldn’t be happy with the pregnancy knowing what could happen. He couldn’t understand that and that’s what caused us to fall out,” she said.
“You trying to go grab some lunch? I don’t want you losing those hips and shit,” I joked.
She smiled then pushed me. “As long as it’s Mo’s Seafood. I’m going to let them know I’m leaving for the day. I need some peace right now. My brother is in a coma, I’ve lost my baby, and now my marriage is over. I’m ready to lose my mind,” she stressed.
We pulled up to Mo’s Seafood. Ashaun was hugged up against his car with some Stacy Dash looking chick between his legs. When she started tonguing him down, I knew shit was ready to get ugly.
“Oh, that’s where your bitch ass been? You fucking the tacky ass waitress though?” she yelled as she walked up on them.
“Go the fuck on. We are separated, in case you haven’t noticed,” he yelled back at her.
“You little dick bitch. I had a miscarriage and your ass does me like this?” she asked with hurt in her voice. “You’re so up in this bitch’s pussy that you had to send Killa to check up on your own fucking wife?”
“You having a miscarriage is not a damn surprise. You should be used to it by now,” he laughed.
“Chill the fuck out with that, nigga. What type shit you on?”
“This is between me and my wife.”
This nigga was really on one today. I don’t know what happened but he’s been feeling himself I think this new chick he’s dealing with boosting him up. She looks like the gold digging type. I could tell she was a freak. He never disrespected his wife like this, at least not in front of us.
“You got that one, homie. She is your wife. You ain’t goin’ to disrespect her like that in public.”
He was three years older than me but this nigga better realize I’m not one of these little fuck niggas that he can punk whenever he feels like it.
“Look sweetie, he doesn’t want your rotten belly ass anymore. Get the fuck over it.” she turned to Ashaun “I can give you a baby, boo. Fuck her.”
“Look here, you knock off bitch, Mind your damn business. I’m not talking to your trashy ass. You only want his bread. Are you not making enough tips at Mo’s? You got to lower your self-esteem by sleeping with a married man for a come up? How many bandwagons have you been on? You ain’t shit to me but trash that needs to be taken the fuck out. Give him a baby? Please! Bitch, your pussy is probably so damn loose one might fall right the fuck out.”
She laughed then turned to Ashaun. “You fucking with Neons now? What happen to the top of the line shit you’re used to driving? Did you take her on a shopping spree to Rainbow with that tacky ass outfit she got on? Bitch ready give me a heart attack. You know how I get when cheap shit gets close to me. If I sneeze, that bitch’s seams might burst. I should get a restraining order out on those pleather pumps bitch. They are really threatening.” Jamie burst out into laughter.
Shorty tried charging at Jamie but I pulled her back then pushed her back to Ashaun. “Naw, shorty, chill with all that shit.”
“Damn Killa, you’re protective, aren’t you? She let you smash or something?” he asked.
I chuckled. If only he knew that I was smashing way before he even got a whiff of her pussy. “You wild for that one for real.”
“Come on, boo, I’m hungry. I don’t have time for Bonnie and Clyde. Plus, I don’t want that bitch touching me. I might catch a bad case of Rainbow fever. You know that two shirts for ten dollars sale is contagious,” she laughed again. “Ashaun, make sure you sign those divorce papers.”
She walked inside the restaurant. Ashaun’s sidepiece yelled, “Don’t worry. He will, bitch.” Jamie flipped her off.
“Ay, let me holla at you for a second.” We walked off to the side.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“How you’re going about this shit is all wrong. That’s your fucking wife. You’re never supposed to have your side bitch feeling like she got one up on your wife. Some nigga out here is going snatch her ass up. Niggas are already waiting,” I told him.
“I’m not feeling her at all no more. They can have her far as I’m concerned,” he stated loudly.
“Okay, my nigga, I will get up with you later,” I told him.
“How did you end up with my wife anyway?” he asked.
I could’ve lied but I’m a grown ass man. Besides, I wasn’t feeling how he came at me earlier.
“I picked her up,” I answered then I walked into the restaurant.
After lunch, I dropped Jamie off at her car. She started pouting like she didn’t want a nigga to go.
“Are you coming over?” she asked.
“Naw, shorty, I got take care of a few things,” I told her.
“Pleassee! I’m bored in that big ass house all by myself,” she continued to pout.
She grabbed my face and kissed me. “Your ass better be right behind me. I need some company. Besides, I missed years on spending time with you. I’m a
sucker for those strong arms. I want you to hold me while I sleep.”
“I can’t I…”
She cut me off. “Boo bear, boo bear, boo…”
“Okay damn. You’re a fucking brat, you know that right?”
I pinched her cheek. She might have been with another nigga and killed my seed but I still love her. A nigga like me don’t love easily so I couldn’t turn my feelings off or allow myself to fall for another broad. Once I gave her my heart, that was it. There was not another woman out here for me.
After Jamie had fucked my head up, I became the biggest manwhore around. I fucked all types of bitches and even engaged in threesomes and foursomes. I even tried five with women of different races. I was fucking anything. I didn’t care about a female like that. I do have some feelings for Quayla, though but I don’t love her because the only woman that would ever have my heart is Jamie.
“Boy, please, I’m not trying to hear that. We have some things to talk about anyway,” she stated.
“This going to be the last time I go over that nigga’s crib. He might pop up and I’m not trying be in that shit y’all got going on.”
“I understand but I’m selling the house and starting off new.” she got out and got into her whip.
****
I sat in the den flicking through channels and she sat down next to me with grease and a comb
“Kejuan, can you grease my scalp?” she asked.
“Do I look like your home girl, Gary? What type shit you on?” I asked her.
She laughed. “Nigga, you used to so don’t act brand new now.”
“I was a young dumb nigga in love too. I used to do a lot for your ass.”
She sucked her teeth. “Used to, huh?”
“What the fuck do you expect? You want me be the same nigga whose heart you walked over? Shorty, I’m not trying go back down memory lane because that shit was years ago But I’m still the same nigga doing shit differently now. So no, I’m not greasing your scalp. You can fix a nigga two sandwiches and bring me a Coke,” I told her.