Second Time Around

by Carol Steward

  Her colleague Bob Walker leaned close. “What’s wrong, Em?” he whispered. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  Ignoring him, Emily examined the different bid summaries with a sudden urgency. Why hadn’t she considered this possibility earlier? Muffled voices buzzed around her. Her heart rate increased. He wouldn’t dare.

  Dr. Bob Walker pushed a note in front of her, a barely legible invitation to join him for dinner scrawled across the prescription pad. Sending him a reprimand from the corner of her eye, she scrunched the note into a tiny ball and tossed it into the trash can.

  She thumbed back through the folders and, with a sudden chill of comprehension, looked again at the unbelievably low bid. Kevin was vying for this job. That’s why he had been so confident he’d be seeing her again.

  “Emily? What are your feelings about the bids?”

  “Yes, Emily, what are you thinking?” Bob added, a mischievous glint in his eye.

  Still dismayed, she cleared her throat and brushed a stray hair off her forehead. With a quick appraisal of the spreadsheets before her, it was hard to argue the obvious. “Since the project committee is behind on fund-raising, I’ll admit it does make this incredibly low bid very appealing.”

  The other committee members nodded. Dr. Roberts agreed, adding, “With the incentives City Council is offering, I think it’s critical that we make the commitment now. Sonshine Medical Clinic is finally gaining the support we need.”

  Emily closed the folder, suddenly aware of what the outcome of this vote could mean to her own peace of mind. No matter what happened between her and Kevin, she reminded herself, this was business. If the contractor was Kevin…she’d learn to deal with it when the time came. If not, her paranoia could cost both the clinic and the company bidding a very important project. She had to keep her personal turmoil out of the way.

  “There isn’t really any question, is there?” Dr. Walker added.

  Not regarding which sealed bid to accept, maybe, but Emily had plenty of questions, doubts and uncertainties.

  The company was offering incredible upgrades that the clinic couldn’t otherwise afford. How could Kevin afford to be so generous? Surely his fledgling company didn’t have this kind of money to donate. And from the way he’d reacted to seeing her at Laura and Bryan’s wedding, he wasn’t trying to win her over again. Surely I’m just imagining this. Kevin doesn’t want to be near me any more than I want him around. He wouldn’t do this.

  There was no question but that she wanted the clinic to flourish. She wanted to help their patients. And despite her and Kevin’s history, she wished him every success, both personally and professionally. She just didn’t like the idea of their goals being mutually dependent.

  Turning her mind back to the meeting, she concentrated on the discussion. Others expressed gratitude at the upgrades, and Emily added suspiciously, “Can we trust his word on that?” The faces around the table looked puzzled by her sudden lack of enthusiasm. “It’s just—I’m merely concerned that we be sure the company will follow through once it has the job in hand. Well, it does seem determined to win this bid, doesn’t it? Question is, how many promises would the company make in order to get the job?”

  Everyone began talking at once, and Bob leaned close. “You know something about this company, Em? I’ve never seen you so feisty. To be honest, I like it.”

  “What’s wrong, Bob? Did the new receptionist break your date?” She edged away.

  He smiled. “Come on, have dinner with me. No one need find out.”

  Emily looked around the table, then turned her head so that only Bob could hear. “I think you’re making a big mistake, Bob. Your third strike with me was two receptionists and six months ago. One more, and you’ll strike yourself out of the clinic, as well.”

  The doctor sobered, and leaned back in his chair, nonchalantly pretending he hadn’t heard anything she’d said. That was fine with her. Just so he understood.

  Emily let her mind wander back to Kevin as the board’s discussion progressed without her.

  Thirty minutes later the chief of staff spun his pen on the chipped tabletop. “I think it’s obvious that number two believes in our mission. Unless there’s any disagreement, I’ll share our feelings with the board and let them make the announcement.” All present turned and looked at Emily, anticipating another argument.

  What if it’s not Kevin? Can I take that chance? She shook her head.

  As the others made their way through the conference room door, she opened the folder again, looking more carefully for some inkling of proof. Could Kevin believe in the clinic’s mission? She saw no evidence, but decided he deserved a chance. She thought back to their conversation at the wedding. Trust me, Emily. We will see each other again. Kevin had gloated. But why did he want this job?

  Unfortunately, her emotional struggle would have to be sacrificed for the good of the patients. She would learn to ignore Kevin, and his charming antics.

  Silently edging her way past the board members, Emily considered Kevin’s possible motives. Whatever his reasons, one thing was for sure: when Kevin MacIntyre went after something, there was no stopping him….

  She recalled the weeks he had spent trying to convince her to go on that first date with him. Flowers, phone calls, surprising her between classes. Yes, Kevin MacIntyre could write the book on charm.

  Emily wondered how she’d face him each day, then rallied. It’s over now. We’ve both moved on. If he gets the job, well, if I can work with Bob, I can surely handle Kevin. I have to. The clinic’s future depends on this renovation.

  Emily returned to her office. If the staff needed her, they wouldn’t hesitate to call. She needed a minute to breathe. Time to collect herself and banish Kevin MacIntyre from her thoughts—if only temporarily.

  Emily closed her office door behind her and leaned against it. Dear God, help me. I don’t think I can handle this alone—

  The phone rang, and she knew her moment of reprieve was over. She took two calls, then began seeing patients.

  Twelve hours later, Emily pulled into her garage. She walked into the house, dropped her purse and collapsed on the sofa. Ignoring the blinking light on the answering machine, she set her pager on the end table and closed her eyes. She flipped her shoes onto the floor and propped her ankles on the arm of the couch.

  It was days like this when she asked herself what she was thinking when she gave up the man she loved for that miraculous acceptance into medical school. And the answer was always the same. She had been thinking of her mother’s struggle to provide for her and her sisters when their father walked out. She had been thinking of Katarina’s hearing loss. Of the people she wanted to help. The last person she’d been thinking of was Kevin—the one person she should have considered more.

  Her stomach growled, proclaiming that the salad she ate for lunch was long gone. She was famished. Dragging her fatigued body off the couch, Emily rummaged through the cupboard until she found a can of beef stew. The wind howled outside as a winter storm moved in from the west; snow was already sticking to the streets. Thank goodness I’m not on call tonight, she thought. Emily dumped the stew into the pan, turned on the burner, then simply stared at it, waiting for it to boil.

  Kevin’s words had haunted her for the past two weeks. We can both be happy that you realized your career was more important than a family before it was too late. They stung because after years of wondering, she finally knew why Kevin hadn’t come after her. He felt she’d abandoned their dreams for a job. That truth was especially difficult after days like today. Days that started before seven and didn’t end when the office closed. Days that melded, one into the other. Days when crises happened nonstop.

  Help me to remember that it’s not for my own glory, Father, but for Yours.

  Emily couldn’t accept credit for the many decisions that had led her through the last few years. For without Him, she couldn’t have survived it at all. Medical school, internship, finding a clinic who
se mission fit so perfectly with her own. It was nothing short of a miracle, finding her way back to Springville, Colorado. Or so she’d thought.

  Until she saw Kevin MacIntyre standing in her patient’s hospital room.

  Until her past caught up with the present and threatened to crush her future.

  Until Kevin made her realize she couldn’t “have it all.”

  There were countless days when she wished for all the things that he’d accused her of rejecting for her career. Times when she longed for the serenity of a man’s loving embrace. Nights when she dreamed of her own children. And still she battled daily with the green monster, envying women who had mastered that delicate balance between career and family. There were even moments when she cursed the day he had walked away. And days when she wondered if Kevin had ever felt the same.

  Her eyes burned with tears she refused to shed.

  It appeared she now had the answer. He’d moved on with his life. And on, and on, obviously not letting their broken promises slow his social life any. It appeared her mother was right. Kevin was like her father: a fifties type of man, who wanted his woman to raise the children and have dinner ready at six o’clock. Kevin MacIntyre was definitely not the man to offer support throughout her demanding career.

  Snow swirled around the parking lot and drifted along the curb. Kevin closed the door of his short-bed pickup, ready to work out with Bryan at the gym before heading home. Cranky and ready to burn off some frustration, Kevin stepped through the glass doors and headed for the lockers.

  “Hi, Kevin.”

  He turned, temporarily distracted by the silky voice.

  “Evening, Kristen. Looks like life is treating you well.”

  “Could be better. You’ve been avoiding me.” The brunette leaned her elbows on the handles of the stationary bicycle and flashed him an accusing smile. Perfectly shaped eyebrows arched high above blue eyes.

  He returned the smile, inwardly calculating just when he’d last seen her, or anyone not related to the business. “No, it’s not that,” he stalled, suddenly tongue-tied and in a hurry to make an exit. “Work is keeping me busy. Maybe we can do something soon.”

  He ducked into the men’s locker room, surprised when Bryan stepped in just behind him.

  “Gone into hiding, have you?” his friend joked.

  Kevin shrugged, wondering himself why he’d brushed the woman off. He and Kristen had dated a few times after she had decorated one of his model homes. Things had been going fine. Neither wanted a commitment. Both enjoyed the same things. So why did he find himself avoiding her as if she were trying to tie him down?

  “How are Laura and the kids?” Kevin asked, hoping to change the subject.

  It worked.

  Bryan talked enthusiatically about his new family, and a few minutes later they headed for the weight room. Kevin was anxious to get back in shape before the longer days of the spring building season began. He’d put in more hours at his drafting table than actually working with the crew over the past winter, and it was beginning to show around his midsection.

  “You okay?” Bryan eyed him accusingly some time later as he added another cast-iron disk to each end of Kevin’s weight bar. “I’ve never seen you avoiding—”

  “Fine, just bored with it all, I guess.” Kevin lifted the barbell, only to be interrupted by another female acquaintance. After she left, Kevin sat up and wiped his hands on the towel draped around his neck.

  Bryan elbowed him. “What were you saying about your life being boring?” His friend raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

  “You’re a newlywed. You shouldn’t be noticing other women,” Kevin grumbled.

  Bryan snapped the towel in midair. “Don’t worry, I’m perfectly happy where I’m at. Unlike you—”

  “Let’s get out of here. We aren’t going to get anything accomplished in this place. Why don’t we go get a bite to eat?”

  “Thanks, anyway, I’ve already eaten.”

  “Oh.” On the way to the locker room, Kevin suddenly realized that although he was busier than ever, his personal life had come to a screeching halt in the wake of his company’s booming success. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t been on a date in months. What was wrong with him? No wonder he was irritable. All work and no play…is bound to get on a man’s nerves.

  Nothing was the same anymore. Dating had lost its appeal, second only to going home to an empty house and an answering machine full of jobs to pursue. Which was just what he had wanted—a successful business. He should be ecstatic. There were plans to evaluate, bids to make, orders to call in; business was right on track.

  But something was still missing.

  Bryan pulled his bag from the locker with a look of total satisfaction. To his credit, though, he didn’t say a word. And there were plenty of choice comments he could have made. Kevin knew, because he’d used them all on Bryan little more than a year ago.

  His friend got a drink from the fountain, then cleared his throat. “I still have that weight set I bought Laura at the house. Why don’t we work out there?”

  “I don’t know if I’m in any mood to deal with disgustingly happy newlyweds and four energetic kids at this hour,” Kevin muttered under his breath.

  Bryan looked at his watch and laughed. “Another fifteen minutes and they’ll all be in bed, anyway. Come on over. I need someone to push me before Laura’s good cooking puts twenty pounds on me.”

  “You poor thing.” Kevin considered going home, but quickly dispelled the unappealing idea. Unlike his friend, he had no one, nothing to greet him at home. No commitments. No leash. Keep talking, Kevin. Maybe you’ll convince yourself.

  “Come on. It’ll be fine.”

  “Sure, why not.” What was he bellyaching about? He had a business that was claiming more of his time each day. More than he’d ever dreamed possible. “I’ll meet you back at Laura’s—I mean, your house.” He winced at the mistake. He still found it difficult to understand why his best friend had agreed to stay in the house his new wife had shared with her late husband.

  “Don’t let it bother you. I do it, too. It’ll always be Laura’s, no matter how many changes we make. She promises to start looking for our own house as soon as things settle down.”

  “With four kids, you don’t plan on that being anytime soon, do you?” Kevin wrapped an arm around his friend’s back and laughed. “Ah, wedded bliss.”

  Bryan elbowed him in the stomach. “I’ll take the chaos of a house full of kids over a quiet one any day. You sure you don’t have time to build a house for us this spring?”

  “If I’d known you were going to be back in town and in the market, believe me, I wouldn’t have filled all my slots. You wouldn’t believe how many calls I’ve had this week alone. But if the bid for the clinic falls through, you’ll be the first person I call.”

  “Not a chance. There’s no way the committee can afford to turn you down. I’m glad to hear you’re keeping busy.” Bryan stopped beside his new four-wheel-drive and tossed his bag inside. “Let’s get going. We can catch up while we work out. Laura will be glad to see you.”

  A few minutes later, Kevin stomped the snow from his shoes and followed Bryan into the turn-of-the-century home, half expecting an ambush.

  The sound of happy children and the smell of fresh-baked cookies met him at the front door and tugged on his heart. Laura’s youngest son, Chad, ran to Bryan and jumped into his arms. “Hi, Dad! Did you come home to tuck us in?”

  “I sure did—wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Chad beamed at his stepfather’s attention. “Have you brushed your teeth?”

  The youngster scrunched his nose, then turned toward Kevin and said hello.

  Bryan set his stepson down and patted him on the behind. “Get it done, and I’ll be right up.”

  “T.J.! Kevin and Dad are here!”

  “Chad, don’t yell, please.” Laura passed through the kitchen just as they did, and gave her husband a kiss. “You’re home so soon?
We’ve only been married a few weeks. You can’t be that out of shape yet,” she teased.

  Bryan tilted his head toward Kevin and laughed. “Too many distractions there.”

  “And you came to this zoo instead?” Then, as realization hit her, she grinned mischievously. “Oh. You mean…distractions. Well, you may as well use that contraption you two brought me last year. It’s going to rust if someone doesn’t use it. I told you I didn’t have time.”

  “I’m not giving up on you yet.” T.J. ran into the room and gave Kevin a high-five, and Bryan let his embrace loosen. “Is Jacob asleep already?”

  Laura playfully pushed him away. “‘Already’? You haven’t been chasing him since six this morning. I’m wiped out.”

  “Mom,” their daughter beckoned.

  “Just a few minutes, T.J. Kevin, please don’t get him riled up, it’s bedtime.”

  Kevin gave his friend’s wife a salute. “Yes sir, lady.”

  Bryan kissed Laura again before she headed to the children’s bedrooms, then turned to Kevin. “I’ll help Laura tuck the kids in, and be right down.”

  Kevin and T.J. visited about school and sports for a few minutes before Kevin sent the young man up to bed.

  He could see why Bryan liked this chaos. He paused. Don’t go there, Kevin, said an inner voice.

  He and Bryan lifted weights for an hour, taking time to catch up on each other’s lives and discuss business before he left. Bryan insisted he wanted to remain a silent partner because he knew nothing about the construction business, but Kevin appreciated his friend’s willingness to brainstorm business tactics, anyhow. Just talking helped clear things in his own mind. And there was certainly enough to muddle his thoughts these days.

  One of which was the Sonshine Medical Clinic bid. With Bryan’s business sense, and Kevin’s construction knowledge, they had come up with what they hoped was a winning proposal—one that would help the company remain secure for generations to come.