Immaculate Fetish

by Jamie Antonia Symonanis

  The plants in the room started into an instrumental version of one of Greta’s favorite Neko Case songs, requested by Myra. By the end of the song the twins singing could be heard from the darkened bedroom, “How will you know if you found me at last, Cause I’ll be the one be the one be the one, With my heart in my lap, I’m so tired I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight.”

  Chapter 33

  Length of Love

  The month of December was spent traveling to each of the forty-eight states, excluding for now Alaska and Hawaii. In each of them very select JTIKS were put in place. The twins had evolved beyond even the capabilities of Valia’s species, created by the merging of the two. They no longer needed the Pontiac to travel long distances and could do it at will, allowing them to return home after visitng each place. This did not keep the Pontiac in the garage by any means, Valia loved to drive and “What fun was any trip without music?” Greta questioned.

  Valia also helped Greta finetune her abilities. She prepped her for what might lie ahead when they started visiting different parts of the world, taking great care in detailing her newfound ability to end one’s existence if threatened. “Dalis is a power that must only be used if life is threatened by one who would destroy life,” Valia explained. “There is no reversing it once used, they simply cease to exist.” She also gave Greta lessons in controlling her temper, especially with her new powers.

  “It’s in my genes, or was before the first day I gazed into this very mirror and saw you staring back at me,” Greta giggled. “I think my ancestors just may have been barbarians, with some Roman thrown in, what with all the raping and pillaging over the ages.”

  Valia walked over and stood next to her gazing at the mirror image of the both of them. “Is that a wrinkle?” she asked pointing to Greta’s reflection.

  “I was wondering when you would notice, you find me unattractive now, yes?” Greta asked.

  “If you looked like this,” Valia replied filling her own face with wrinkles and darkened puffy eyes, “I would still love you more than ever.”

  “She loves me,” Greta smiled, “you can change back now please, how about some French toast?

  “Oui.”

  “Just remember that in France, the customer is always wrong,” Greta grinned.

  As Valia ate breakfast, listening to Greta moan softly after each bite, she told her that they had to head to Princeton. “Alan is working through his Christmas break and he is not taking care of himself, he is not eating, can we take that pan of lasagna to him?”

  “Do you think we’ll ever be able to, oh say, blink and make a delicious dinner like that happen, like on Bewitched?” Greta grinned.

  “I wish I knew,” Valia replied, “and I will take that as a yes?”

  “Yes.”

  The twins donned Navy blue Garbo hats and Navy blue cashmere coats, dark sunglasses and Born boots. Greta picked up the Godiva shopping bag she had filled with her pan of lasagna, sauce and something to eat it with. “Come fly with me,” she said.

  “You just hold onto the lasagna, I will do the flying,” Valia smiled. She placed her hands in Greta’s coat pockets from behind.

  “That tickles,” Greta giggled.

  “I know,” Valia replied as they vanished from the kitchen and reappeared standing by a small couch in the Princeton lab, Alan unaware yet of their presence, studying a formula on one of the blackboards. When he saw the formula change before his eyes, he turned around startled.

  “We brought you lunch, and dinner actually, there is quite a bit here,” Greta said. “I hope you like lasagna.”

  “Hello, and thank you for relieving me from that snag I ran into,” Alan said. “Happy belated Holidays, I hope you had a Happy Christmas.”

  “And to you, was Santa good to you?” Greta asked.

  “Nope, but Olga Koladaitis was,” Alan replied. “We used to be rivals of sorts, but she had a change of heart it seems, and thinks it better that we share our work, as do I, for the good of humanity and its chances for survival.”

  “Olga is a brilliant and beautiful woman, that is good news to hear,” Valia said.

  “Yes, that she is indeed,” Alan said. “I wish I could cheer her up, she knew Bhutto who was assassinated this week.” “I am to travel to Cyprus sometime in the spring with Janet Norad from NASA, should be fun, I hear it is quite beautiful there that time of year.”

  “Is there anything else you need, besides maybe a maid, or a wife to see that you eat?” Valia laughed.

  “Grants and no strings attached endowments have poured in, we are well on the way to making this all happen on a grand scale, so I guess I would have to say that all is well for now.”

  “All but your nutrition,” Greta said, removing a large slice of lasagna from the microwave and covering it in hot sauce. “This tastes best hot Alan.”

  “Mmm, delicious, I was starving, thank you,” he said.

  “We can now leave, knowing you are going to make eating and staying healthy a priority for the New Year,” Valia smiled. “Goodbye for now Alan.”

  “Goodbye, and thank you again, for everything.”

  The twins walked out the lab door and vanished, reappearing in Central Park. The skies were just starting to get cloudy. Standing before them was the Snowwoman they fashioned early in the month, and it was the only unmelted snow in the park. They had JTIKED it not to melt, as a source of awareness about the reality of global warming, kind of like a ‘what you had and what you lost’ reminder as Greta put it. Of course they had not planned on someone saying they saw the Virgin Mary in the pattern some of the unmelted snow had made on the Garbo hat the figure wore. There were bouquets of flowers laid at its feet, and a seemingly endless vigil of someone kneeling around it praying. It certainly increased the sales of Garbo hats, especially at Ellen Christine Millinery Shop.

  “How long are we going to leave Nonotchka here to be worshipped?” Greta asked.

  “Until 7.36 days after the last snowfall of the season has melted, which will be in early April, would you like the exact date and time?” Valia asked.

  “No, but I could sure use a Starbucks,” Greta replied.

  They strolled over to one of a dozen or more Starbucks on Columbus Avenue. Running across a street they heard someone shout to them. “Valia, Greta,” Patti stood shouting, wearing a long black Cashmere overcoat and a black and white shawl wrapped around her long dark hair.

  “Patti, how marvelous to see you again,” Greta said. “Would you like a cup of coffee, my treat?”

  “Sure, I would love one, hello Valia,” Patti replied. “Where are you coming from, the park?”

  “Yes, we went to see Nonotchka,” Greta replied.

  “Nonotchka?” Patti asked.

  “The snowwoman, can I tell you a secret?”

  “Sure,” Patti replied with a smile.

  “She is our creation, we built her on Sunday, December 2nd.” Greta replied.

  “Well the entire town is saying that she is a miracle, even without the image of the Virgin Mary on the hat that will not melt, the entire thing will not melt,” Patti laughed. “That makes you angels.”

  “Well, it is not the first time we’ve been called angels,” Valia said rolling her eyes up in the air.

  The twins ordered the usual, Patti having a small coffee with cream, sugar and a dash of cinnamon. “Did you ever get around to recording that awesome tune I heard in Colorado?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact we did, the very weekend we built Nonotchka,” Greta replied, reaching deep into her inside coat pocket pulling out a copy of it on cd. “Here you are my dear,” she said handing it to Patti.

  “Why thank you.”

  “Speaking of being out west, I see you are being honored in a film at Sundance in a few weeks,” Valia said.

  “Yeah, really something huh?” Patti laughed. “It means I am getting old.”

  “You’re only pretty as you feel,” Greta smiled. “That Hotel Monaco suite cannot be too
far away.”

  “Haaaa,” Patti laughed.

  They sat in the Starbucks talking to each other until they finished their coffees, then they walked over to have a look at Nonotchka back in the park.

  “So, do you by any chance have an explanation for this miracle?” Patti smiled.

  “Love,” the twins replied together.

  “That’s a good enough answer for me,” Patti grinned. “Please try to make it to the New Years Eve Show at the Bowery Ballroom,” she said before having to leave. “You’ll be on the guest list as the angels,” she smiled before shaking each of their hands.

  “Thank you, Happy New Year,” Greta said.

  “Oh yeah,” Patti said and walked over to hail a taxi.

  “I am getting hungry,” Valia said. “Is there any of that lasagna left?”

  “Yes, I am sure there is, at Princeton,” Greta shouted.

  “Then the pizza is on me,” Valia smiled as they hailed a taxi.

  Once inside, Greta ordered a pizza from Giorgio’s that would be ready by the time they made it there to pick it up. Pizza in hand, they headed back to their apartment.

  “Is the end of the year and the start of the new one a big celebration on your world as it is here?” Greta asked before taking a small bite of her pizza.

  “It was extremely festive long ago,” Valia replied. “Our years are longer than on your world, nearly twice as long if you measure the time it takes our planet to makes its journey around our sun.” “So, even though our days are nearly the same amount of time, there are more of them needed to create the equivalent of one year.” “At this point in our evolution, the start of a new year is a time to reflect on our past, and our future.”

  “You know, that is how I have always viewed New Years,” Greta said. “It is much nicer when you are with someone you are in love with though,”

  “Everything is much nicer when you are with someone you are in love with,” Valia said, that eyebrow turned up as she spoke.

  The phone rang. When Greta answered it, she did not say anything immediately and put it on speakerphone. They could hear the sound of Teddy plucking away on a typewriter keyboard, so engrossed in what he was doing that he was unaware they had actually picked up. “Maybe they’re not home, I mean would you be home around New Years if you looked like them?” he spoke to himself.

  “Moon base Alpha, come in Earth,” Greta said in a computer style voice. “This is moon base Alpha, come in Earth.”

  Teddy stopped typing when he heard her the second time. Before he could speak, Valia answered Greta in a sexy deep breathy voice, “This is Earth, I am Venus, the goddess of love, who is this?”

  Greta replied as Teddy continued to just listen, “Hi, this is Bambi on moonbase Alpha, what are you wearing?”

  “Nothing, how about you?” Valia replied.

  “I am naked and so wet,” Greta replied.

  Did I dial wrong again, this is fabulous, an intergalactic sex phone service, Teddy thought. “Hello, I hate to intrude, but could you tell me what number I dialed?”

  “This is 800-MOONSEX, I am Bambi, who are you?”

  “George, my name is George,” Teddy replied.

  “Really, you sound a lot like my friend Teddy.” Greta said.

  “Girls, you really had me going there, how are you, what have you been up to, I have some news for you.”

  “We just returned from the Holy Snowwoman in Central Park, have you been to see her?”

  “What, no, what Holy Snowwoman, no, I have not.” Teddy replied.

  “Let me guess, the movie is cancelled and we can go on tour as a backup band with a friend of ours right?” Greta asked.

  “No, I mean absolutely not, as a matter of fact I wanted to start shooting here in New York in a few weeks, the way the weather is though, I am probably going to have to pay for snow machines or rewrite part of the script,” he replied. “What are your plans, I hope you will be ready to start filming here in a few weeks?”

  “We should be, if we had to zip off somewhere for any reason, we’d be right back,” Greta giggled quietly.

  “So, tell me about this Snowwoman,” Teddy said.

  “Some say she is a miracle Teddy, the only snow in the city that has not melted, and she has been there a month,” Greta said. “She is quite the sight to behold, right down to the flowers at her feet.

  “Yeah, well maybe I should go pay a visit and ask for some free snow in a few weeks,” Teddy laughed. “Girls have a Happy New Year and we will be in touch.”

  “Happy New Year Teddy,” the twins chimed before hanging up.

  “So how old are you, by Earth years,” Greta asked.

  “The Valia that existed before the crash would be 90.359 earth years of age. The Valia you see before you is 177 days old, and you are 179 days old, roughly.”

  “Where did I put my calculator,” Greta laughed. “Come here. Hmmm, Cobalt Solium G, hmmm, I thought you were the older sister?”

  “Would you like to go to a movie?” Valia asked.

  “Huh?’ Greta replied being caught off guard. “Honey you’ve never been to a movie, how inconsiderate of me, I mean here we are, about to make a movie, and you have never been to one.”

  “Can I take that as a yes?” Valia asked looking so serious.

  “Can we make out before the movie starts?” Greta giggled.

  “If that is the price of admission, of course,” Valia laughed.

  “What would you like to see?” Greta asked.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “A surprise?” Greta asked.

  “We are going to practice our French,” Valia smiled.

  After dinner they donned their winter coats and hats and headed out to the Angelika Film Center. They stood in a short line to purchase tickets to a movie about a man who was only able to communicate by blinking his eye after suffering a massive stroke. The New York based artist who directed the film wisely had the script changed to French with English subtitles.

  “Do you need a snack?” Greta asked.

  “No, I want to watch, not eat” Valia giggled.

  “You must get that from me, I have never snacked at a movie since I was about six years old, and why, because I want to watch, not eat,” Greta laughed.

  They settled into a pair of clean seats in the middle of the theatre. “Yoo hoo, hello ladies,” Greta heard, turning around to see Wiza sitting in the back of the theatre with some friends. She motioned Wiza to come over. “Hello, Happy New Year,” Wiza said, “how have you been?”

  “We have been good thank you, and a Happy New Year to you,” Greta replied.

  “Love what you’ve done with your hair,” Valia said.

  They caught up briefly on what they’d been up to since their shoot together, and briefly discussed Teddy’s new movie. “Yes well for him this will be an epic movie, I hear he is going to shoot parts of it in Europe,” Wiza said.

  “That’s why we’re here, to brush up on our French,” Greta laughed.

  The lights started to dim as the Coming Attractions began. “Take care, maybe I’ll see you around the set,” Wiza said as she spirited away into the darkness of the back of the theatre.

  When the coming attractions began, Valia treated Greta to a preview of what they would look like up on the Silver Screen, placing their images in each of the coming attractions, visible only to them. “I think I like coming to the movies,” Valia said.

  In the preview of one movie, Greta watched herself being kissed and adored by a Chinese man. “Hmm,” was her only reply to that curving that eyebrow up staring at Valia? When Valia’s image was that of a girl seeking a backstreet abortion in Romania on the next preview, it created a serious tone in Greta. She began to think about how much was at stake for women to keep a woman’s choice for an abortion as an option, especially with yet another presidential election about to burst into full swing with forces on one side who would remove that right in the blink of an eye if they could. She returned the image they w
ere viewing of this preview to the real actors and watched intently. We’ve got a lot of work to do my dear sister, Greta thought.

  The feature film began, keeping the viewers riveted to the screen with masterful strained camera work. By the end of the movie, the twins were able to speak French fluently. “Thanks for the date,” Greta said as they walked out of the theatre.

  “I am no longer a movie virgin,” Valia smiled.

  “Is there abortion on your world?” Greta asked as they walked down the street.

  “No, at least not your form of abortion,” Valia replied. “We are capable of self-conception, having evolved in our reproductive process to a point where we choose when to create life if desired.” “Accidental pregnancy on our world is virtually non-existent now, but rarely someone has a change of heart and chooses to terminate the pregnancy by willing it.

  “So you do not need a seed from the male of the species to reproduce? Greta asked.

  “No, and neither do you,” Valia replied.

  “Could a human male get me pregnant?”

  “Our two species could indeed procreate together, but only if you accede,” Valia replied.

  “Now that is indeed an option I wish all human females had,” Greta smiled.

  The taxi pulled up in front of the twin’s apartments. Greta looked up at the sliver of a crescent moon glowing in the night sky and smiled. “Come darling, moon makes Greta want you.”

  “I fully understand why,” Valia said as they walked up the long flight of stairs to their apartment where they melted into each other’s love until morning.

  Greta awoke to Valia’s smiling face as she had so many times before. “What time is it love?”

  “Early, I did not want us to have to travel on an empty stomach,” Valia replied.

  “Pancakes, waffles, or French toast?” Greta asked, still a little blurry eyed.

  “We have time for pancakes.”

  “Where are we going might I ask?”

  “To a New Years Eve Party,” Valia replied, “or two.”

  “Will we have time for Starbucks?” Greta asked.

  “Always.”

  After breakfast, the twins showered and put on the dresses made for them to be worn at ‘one of those award ceremonies’ as Greta put it, complete with matching headbands. They then put on their black cashmere coats. “It is winter after all,” Valia grinned.