by Penny Wylder
Can we please talk?
I wait. My hands go to my keypad several times but are too shaky to reply, which is probably a good thing, because my initial reaction is to tell her to go fuck herself. After gaining some semblance of control over my emotions, I text her back.
Please lose this number.
It’s going to be awkward going back to school. I sent residential services an email requesting a dorm transfer, but since it’s the middle of the year, there are no available rooms at the moment. Sharing a room with Brenna after this will be a nightmare.
Another text comes in from Brenna.
I’m sorry.
God, why won’t she leave me alone? I text back.
Yeah, you really are.
That was childish and uncalled for, but I needed to get it out of my system. Hopefully she’ll get the message. She doesn’t.
I deserve that. But please just talk to me. Meet me at the pub at Elk Horn in an hour.
I sigh. I want nothing to do with Brenna, but if we’re going to be stuck as roommates, I better figure out a way to make this work. We text back and forth for a while, trying to find a place to meet halfway between campus and my mom’s house.
An hour later I meet her at a popular little brew pub and eatery between my mom’s house and the school. She must really want to talk to me if she was willing to make the drive all the way out here.
I step inside the pub. It’s dark. It takes my eyes a moment to adjust. There’s an old country song playing on the jukebox and the bing, ding, bong sounds of people playing on the row of arcade games along the wall. It’s the poor-man’s Dave and Buster’s.
The place smells like pizza and stale cigarettes even though no one has been able to smoke inside the bar since the 90s. Brenna is sitting at the bar with a pile of buffalo chicken wings and ranch dip in front of her.
She glances back at me as if she could feel my presence. Her eyes light up in the dark and she sits up. “I didn’t think you were coming.” She has to raise her voice to be heard over the background noise.
“I wasn’t sure if I would.”
I sit next to her. The bartender asks what I want. I order a hamburger and fries even though I’m not that hungry. In fact, I feel a little sick to my stomach.
“And a ginger beer, please,” I add, hoping that will settle my stomach.
“What do you want?” I say. I don’t say it in a way that is rude, but there’s an edge to my voice none the less.
“I’m sorry I outed you and Professor Whitford.”
I nod, slowly forming the next words in my head so I don’t lose my cool. The whole point of this meeting is to patch things up enough to continue to be roommates.
“You could have ruined my life, Brenna. I could have lost my scholarship, and Leo—Professor Whitford—can still lose his job. Do you know what kind of damage you’ve caused?”
She puts her forehead on the bar. “I know. I was just so mad and full of self-loathing that I felt the need to bring someone down with me. And when I heard how well you did on your scores, you became the obvious target.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“I was drunk.”
“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it.”
She sighs. “I know.”
I get my burger and ginger beer. While I pick at my fries and sip my drink, I think about what Leo is doing right now. I haven’t checked my phone in a while. Has he texted me or has he given up on us? Even though I know it has to be over, the thought of him giving up on us is heartbreaking.
“I really fucked up,” Brenna says. I nod, thinking she’s talking about what she did to me and Leo. “No, I mean, I did something else. I cheated on my tests and I may have gotten caught. I have an interview with the review board tomorrow, but they haven’t told me why. I think that’s it. I called you here to apologize, but also to say goodbye, just in case.”
I look at her, shocked. “Why would you do something so stupid … and better yet, how the hell did you fail your tests if you cheated?”
She laughs and I find myself smiling despite myself.
“I was hung over. I mixed up the tests and put the wrong answers on each one. That’s how I imagine they caught me.”
I shake my head, feeling a little sorry for her now.
“I need to go; I have a cab waiting outside. I’ve been drinking since I woke up this morning.” She shrugs. “I just needed to get that off my chest. And I also wanted to tell you that you and Leo are good together. I know he’s not the reason you aced your tests. I’ve seen you work hard to get where you are. I wish I had met you sooner. Maybe some of your good habits would have rubbed off on me.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling the anger leach out of me.
She gets up off the bar stool and steals some of my fries on the way out. Before she walks out the door, she turns to me and says, “Invite me to the wedding, okay?”
I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. But there won’t be a wedding. There’s not even a relationship anymore. And that fact breaks my heart into a tiny little pieces.
I drag her chicken wings over to me and eat all of her food plus my own before driving home and crying myself to sleep.
4
Classes start a week later and I still haven’t talked to Leo. I can’t bear the thought of seeing him again. That hasn’t stopped him from calling and texting every day, multiple times a day, even. I still haven’t read any of the texts and I don’t plan to. But knowing he hasn’t given up on me is some relief. Maybe one day, when he finally stops, I won’t be so sad. I successfully managed to avoid any other classes with him this semester, and none of my other classes are in Greyson, so I don’t have to worry about accidently running into him. That gives me some peace of mind.
My heart is in my throat when I get back to my dorm. I brace myself to see Brenna again. Even though we patched things up at the pub, I’m afraid things will still be awkward between us. Opening the door, I notice immediately that all of her stuff is gone. Usually, if there is a roommate change or any change to the dorm living situation, I’d get an email from the school, but I haven’t, so I wonder if she even gave notice or if they told her to get out immediately. I’m not exactly upset that we’ll no longer be in the same dorm room, but I’m upset that she’s gone. It will be nice not to walk in on orgies or listen to moaning and groaning as she’s double penetrated at two in the morning while I’m trying to sleep. But still. There’s something very sad about the whole situation.
I unpack my things and head for the showers, wondering if I’ll have a new roommate and a little afraid whoever it is will be worse than the last. On my way, I run into Jaime. He looks awkward, like I am one of the last people he wants to see right now.
“Hey Kimmy,” he says.
“Hi Jaime.”
We stand there fidgeting and uncomfortable for a moment. I’m about to tell him I need to get to the showers, but then he sighs. “I hope there’s nothing weird between us after what happened at the bar with Brenna.”
This is the last thing I want to talk about, but I relax a little. “Nothing is weird.”
“Good. Because I really like you and I want us to be friends.”
He seems to notice the hesitation and laughs. “Just friends. I admit, I had a crush on you, but looking back at everything, it was obvious about you and Professor Whitford were having a thing. This is college, things happen, relationships happen. And I know you didn’t ace your finals because of him. You work hard. If I’m being completely honest, there were times when I looked over at your essays just to make sure I was on track because I know whatever you’re writing is gold. I can see it for myself.”
I smile at him, starting to feel a little better about the situation. “Thank you for that.”
He smiles too. “I wanted to let you know that Brenna was a little drunk that night after you left—and vindictive, I guess. I don’t think she meant to sabotage you at all, but she’s a terrible drunk and was feeling sorry for h
erself …”
My stomach starts to knot up with the apprehension in his voice. Did Brenna do more damage than I thought? Was there something she didn’t tell me or may have been too drunk to remember doing that night?
“What did she do?” I ask.
“She decided to tell anyone and everyone who would listen that you had an affair with Professor Whitford. Since then I’ve heard that you’re pregnant with his baby, and that you’re getting a free ride from the school to make sure the scandal doesn’t get out of control.”
I put my hand over my face, wanting to disappear. This is humiliating. Damnit, Brenna. It’s a good thing she’s gone because I would find her and strangle her right now if I could.
“I just wanted to warn you that things are pretty bad in the rumor mill right now,” he says.
“Thank you Jaime.”
I leave and head to my shower. There’s no one else in here so I lean against the wall and let myself cry and have a slight breakdown while the hot water streams over me. This is horrible, but I haven’t heard from the school yet, so maybe things aren’t as bad as Jaime is making them out to be. All I can do it hope. This is exactly my worst nightmare. I knew this would happen all along. How could I have been so stupid?
As I’m walking to class after my shower, it’s obvious that things are as bad as I feared. Everyone walking by stares at me. Some of them even put their heads together and whisper and laugh, making sure I know they’re talking about me.
I keep my head down and head for the coffee shop. I’m going to need a shit-ton of caffeine to get through this day.
“Kimmy, wait,” I hear the familiar voice behind me say. I’m both elated and filled with dread at the sound of it.
I slowly turn around, trying to keep my breathing steady when I see Leo. He’s so beautiful I could cry, and worst of all, he looks distraught. His hair is a mess—a far cry from his typical perfect coif, and he has about two weeks’ worth of stubble shadowing his sharp features. His clothes are askew and wrinkled, and he looks like he’s just rolled out of bed. And yet all I see is beauty. My Leo. The man I love with all my heart.
“Kimmy, we need to talk,” he says.
My throat closes and I struggle to get the words out. “It’s not a good time, Leo.”
A group of boys walk by us. I recognize one of them from one of Brenna’s orgies. He coughs into his hand and it sounds suspiciously like the word “whore” when he does it. Another one of the boys says, “Look at the happy couple,” he sniggers. “How many blow jobs does it take to ace the finals anyway? Asking for a friend.”
“Get the fuck back to your classes before I beat the hell out of you,” Leo says to them.
We are all startled by the sudden anger of a teacher who is always even keeled in his classes. It’s always the unassuming people who are the most frightening when they’re angry. But it’s only his personality that makes him unassuming. Physically, he’s a tower and it’s obvious he could take on any one of those little shits standing in front of him. They seem to know it too because their smiles falter and they take an uncertain step back. It’s a good thing the moment passes so quickly so no student can catch a video of it on their phones. Leo’s probably in enough shit as it is without people filming him threatening students on campus. It’s all hearsay. But still, there are a group of them. Enough witnesses to get Leo into trouble.
The group tries to regain their pride by laughing and saying “Congratulations on the baby” as they’re leaving, but they leave none the less.
Once they’re gone, I’m not sure what to say so I just stand here, trying not to cry.
“We need to talk,” he says.
I start to tell him no, but he grabs my hand and pulls me toward the coffee shop. He orders our usual drinks and starts to lead me toward a corner booth.
“No,” I tell him. “There are too many nosy people here. If you want to talk, we can go back to my dorm room.”
He agrees and we walk back to the dorms. I try to ignore everyone watching us, but it’s difficult. I hate that we’re such a spectacle. People think it’s some torrid affair, but it’s not. It’s just two single people who fell for each other and who work hard for what they want and where they are in life. I want to scream at them all and tell them just how hard I had to worked to ace my finals, and that Leo had nothing to do with it. No one would believe me, of course. I wish I didn’t care what anyone thought, but I do. I can’t help it.
Luckily there’s no one in the halls of the dorm. I don’t want any new rumors getting started. We go inside and I shut and lock the door behind us. I’m really glad not to have a roommate right now.
“Kimmy, look,” he starts to say. I interrupt him.
“Don’t apologize,” I tell him. The last thing I want him to do is lessen what we had. I already feel horrible enough.
“I wasn’t going to. I don’t regret a single thing.” The tightness in my chest increases and I’m a little shocked by his words. How can he not regret anything? What we’ve done could potentially ruin his career.
He takes me by the hand and leads me to the bed where we sit facing each other. “I refuse to regret falling in love with you. You know I didn’t give you a good grade because of our relationship. You deserved every high mark you received. You’re smart and talented. You didn’t need to cheat, unlike Brenna who did. She tried to get away with it, but several of her professors caught her and she was expelled.”
He’s not telling me anything I didn’t already know. Brenna was expelled for cheating and yet she gave me hell. Not long ago I would have thought she was a bitch for doing such a thing—I guess I still do think that a little bit; she tried to ruin everything for me just because she was unhappy. But she owned up to her mistakes and after meeting her at the pub and talking, I don’t hate her anymore. I just feel sorry for her. It doesn’t make my situation any easier, though. We were bound to get caught anyway. We weren’t exactly being subtle about our relationship. We were constantly going to trendy restaurants popular with college kids. Someone was bound to find out at some point. I was just hoping if we were caught, it wouldn’t happen until the end of my time here. I was dumb for thinking that. I can’t blame all of this on Brenna.
I kiss Leo. Everything inside me melts. I’ve missed him so much. He kisses me back, hard. Our tongues reunite. It feels like forever since I’ve been this close to him and I don’t ever want to spend that much time apart again.
He pulls away to look into my eyes. He holds my face in his hands and says, “I love you.”
Tears start to well up in my eyes. “I love you, too.”
“I’m going to do something crazy,” he says.
My heart races and I nod. “Okay?” A small tinge of fear rises up inside me. For a moment I think he might end it.
He sinks to his knees on the floor in front of me while I sit on the edge of the bed. He pulls a small velvet box out of his pocket, and suddenly I’m about to jump out of my skin. But nervousness and excitement keep me glued to the mattress.
“Marry me. If you’re worried about people thinking you slept with me to gain something, I’ll give them proof that we aren’t just a fling. I’ve been in love with you all along. This isn’t just some student/teacher affair. What we have is real, and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. So, will you marry me?”
I laugh and cry at the same time. I nod my head, but realize he’s waiting for a real answer. “Of course I will.”
He smiles. “Good. Because I wasn’t about to take no for an answer.”
“But not until I’ve graduated,” I add.
“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He slips the ring on my finger. It’s a beautiful princess cut diamond with a rose gold band, and it fits perfectly.
“It’s beautiful,” I say, unable to take my eyes off the sparkling diamond.
“So are you.”
He kisses me again, long and deep. The air conditioner hums in the back
ground. My skin is covered in goosebumps. His warm skin is so comforting against mine. He slowly takes my clothes off, kissing each exposed body part. I do the same for him, throwing his shirt and jeans in the corner of the room. His fingers run a smooth line up and down my legs. His gaze drinks me in. The look on his face is a delicate mixture of lust and love. I can tell he wants to ravage me, but he’s taking his time, holding back his impulses. I’m feeling equally mixed. I love the way he soothes me and I can feel his love pulsing in every touch. But at the same time I just want him to fuck me like a wild beast.
He takes off my panties and holds them to his nose, breathing deeply. “You always smell so good.” He tosses my panties to the side and spreads my legs, stroking his cock slowly. Bending toward me, he puts his lips to my pussy. He kisses and bites gently, getting me worked up, never touching that delicate spot, just toying with me. I run my hands through his thick hair, loving the way his wet tongue slides across my sensitive skin. When his tongue touches my clit, I gasp and moan, pulling his head closer.
“You taste so good,” he says in a deep, gravelly voice as he spreads my pussy lips wider and snakes his tongue deep inside. He’s an expert at rolling his tongue around. I moan his name. His tongue darts in and out, causing my body to seize and relax, seize and relax. I’m breathing heavy, trying not to come too soon. Not that it would really matter. He always manages to make me come multiple times. But there’s nothing quite like the explosion of that first time, and so I want to prolong this feeling.
“Fuck, you’re amazing at that,” I say.
“Know what else I’m amazing at?”
I shake my head, unable to do anything but whimper.
He rolls me onto my stomach and lifts my ass into the air. Positioning himself behind me, he shoves his rock-hard cock deep into my pussy. I cry out his name and roll my hips. I know he likes the way I look from behind, so I spread my ass cheeks for him, giving him the full view. I’m no longer shy with him. He’s seen everything and he’s made me more comfortable with my body than I have ever been before.