by Izzy Shows
"I didn't, when it was one odd case. I can still get away with not talking about it right now, though it's a little tighter, but one more and I'll have to let the cat out of the bag. We have to get this sorted while it's still small."
I nodded, chewing on the inside of my cheek. That was going to be hard. We had never solved a case the moment he pulled me in, that just wasn't how it worked. I did everything I could, and I hated failing, but there was always another casualty.
Always a mistake.
Finn was saying that there was no room for mistakes this time, and that made me so nervous that I was sure there was going to be a mistake on that alone.
So, it had happened a week ago. That predated the Utakar's arrival, which was the only potential lead I had. That was beneficial for two reasons though—I was nowhere near confident I could do anything against this new threat, this unknown, now that I had seen its power, and I didn't want to tell Finn about it until I had to.
He was always getting mad at me for withholding information that he considered relevant, and maybe I should adapt and bring it up, but I didn't want to worry him unnecessarily. See, while I wasn't confident I could do anything, I was still confident that he couldn't do anything. And if I failed, well, then there probably wouldn't be any fall out to be honest. The Utakar was after one fae, it wasn't trying to take down the city.
It would suck to be responsible, even indirectly, for someone dying. But, unfortunately, it wouldn't be a new experience for me.
See, I suck at my job. Sure, a lot of the community had come to appreciate the idea of what I did even if they didn't know it was me doing it, but they seemed to be forgetting the handful of people I'd lost along the way. I didn't forget them, didn't forget their faces or their names, didn't even forget the monsters I had killed. They were all etched into my memory, forever.
I would always remember them.
No, I wasn't going to tell Finn just so that he could possibly know about one more failure to go on my record. He could find out about it after the fact if that became necessary, and I would deal with the aftermath.
"What happened, the first time?" I decided to concentrate on getting any relevant details, rather than simmering on what I hadn't done.
"To be honest, I don't know. They were found at a camping ground right outside of London proper, just like where we're going right now, and they were all torn up. Made the vampire victims look pretty. You better get yourself ready for that, I know those didn't sit well with you."
I didn't know how he had been able to look at them, decapitated bodies, without spewing vomit everywhere. I had barely been able to keep myself under control that time. Now, it was going to be worse? I shuddered.
"Aside from the obvious lack of wild animals, what makes you think it's my kind of case?"
He paused, keeping his eyes on the road. "I guess there really isn't anything else, other than a gut feeling. I trust my gut, always have. You do, too. You think something’s up with everything that's been going on, I think there's something up with this case."
That was fair, I couldn't really argue with that. Not without completely undermining my prior argument.
And something was wrong with what had been going on. The vampires had not acted with rationality, and then the succubus had been almost exactly the same. Out of control, not behaving the way her species was supposed to, feeding with such a frenzy that it was bloody terrifying.
I settled into the car, staring out the window as I thought about everything. If Finn said something was up, I had to believe him. He hadn't been wrong yet about bringing me onto a case, even when it was just a little curse from a hedgewitch.
Of course, the both of us would prefer I never have to touch a case. It was good money, but it meant something out of control was preying on victims. That may be the case when real serial killers go loose, but at least for the most part that's fair. It's humans on humans and they stand a chance at defending themselves. You haven't known terror until you've stared down a wizard dead set on destroying everything around you.
Like Deacon.
Pain rolled through me, the grief of losing Aidan sucker punching me out of nowhere. I hadn't expected it, I'd been doing better lately, hadn't even thought about him in a while. Which just made it all the worse, the guilt eating at me that I had been concentrating on other things for a while.
Like I was doing his memory a disservice.
I glared out the window. Today was going to be a crappy day.
10
Turns out the campground where the attack happened wasn't too far from where I lived, which was moderately terrifying in its own right. It also made me think that I might be targeted, that it might be a warning, that something could be coming for me. Maybe I was being paranoid.
Is it paranoia if the world has proven it’s against you from day one?
I got out of the car slowly, my boots sinking into the soft ground. It had rained recently, and there was a light drizzle even now, I was going to track mud into my house if I wasn't careful later.
Finn locked his car—not too sure what he was afraid of happening out here, but I was probably too lax with the idea of my car being stolen. It's hard to care about a car as crappy as mine.
We began the trek up to the camp site, no cars allowed any further in, at least it wasn't too far from the entrance.
"Is your crew going to be here?" I said.
"Most likely."
"Joy of all joys," I said to myself, huffing out a sigh. They still hadn't warmed up to me, most of them thought I was faking it. I got that, it's a lot easier to roll your eyes at magic than to accept something like that is a part of your world. No one wants to admit that they don't have complete control of your lives.
"Don't be like that, it's going to be fine."
"Says you. They respect you. I'm a joke to them."
"Better a joke than someone they fear."
I swallowed a sudden lump in my throat. He was right. I didn't want anyone to be afraid of me. Finn had looked at me with genuine fear when he'd seen me in action at the vampire's house and that had been one of the worst moments in my life—including all the times I'd almost been killed.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." His voice trailed off, and when I looked up at him he wouldn't meet my eyes. Clearly, he was thinking of the same moment, which meant he still associated that fear with me.
The lump was still there, I tried to swallow around it again, and nodded my head. Move on. There's no point in dwelling on the things you cannot change.
"It's whatever. No need to worry about it," I said, more for myself than for him.
We kept going until we made it to the camp site, and I wished I had remembered to prepare myself. I fell to my knees, clutching my stomach, and covering my mouth with my other hand, the stench was horrific and the sight—Oh Gods, the sight.
Bodies torn to pieces, shredded, beyond any hope of recognition.
What kind of beast was capable of this?
A wild animal attack my ass.
I gagged and fought the bile back down my throat, the acrid taste somehow fitting with the mood of the scene.
I heard Finn's voice but couldn't make out what he was saying, so I just shook my head and held up a hand.
No, not ready. Not ready to deal with this.
I clenched my eyes shut and forced air into my body, breathing through my mouth to avoid the smell as best I could. It just meant I tasted it instead. I had seen death so many times, I had been the cause of death in so many cases now, but I couldn't...
I had to handle this.
Somehow, I found the iron in my will and clung to it. Finn placed a hand on my shoulder and I wrenched it away from him—I would do this by myself. Dropping my hands to brace on one knee, I dragged a foot under me and stood up, squaring my shoulders, and opening my eyes.
It would be nice to say that the sight was easier the second time, but that would be a lie. There is no such thing as 'easier' when it comes to dea
th. You might get used to it, you might grow numb over time, but there's no such thing as easier.
The police were looking at me, understanding and pity in their eyes. I felt awful for them, that they were able to look at this and not feel as horrible as I did, because that meant that they had to have seen things like this before. They had become numb from exposure, and that was so much worse than seeing it for the first time and reacting the way I had. If nothing else, it proved I’m still human.
"What could have done this?" I said, looking over at Finn.
His shoulders lifted in a half-shrug. "We don't know. Wild animal is the best we could come up with..."
"Like a feral cat!" Some over eager new kid piped up from over by the group of police, and Finn and I turned to look at him with the same contempt filled expression at the same time.
"A wildcat?" I snorted. "Yeah, and maybe it was mice."
It was ridiculous because they were so small that it was laughable to think any of them could be capable of this kind of destruction. But I understood why he'd said it; it was the only kind of wild life we had to be concerned about.
Except for the wolves. What else has the Utakar brought into town?
I shook away from the thought, growing antsy. I didn't want to have to tell Finn about the Utakar, which meant that I needed to figure out what else was out there that was capable of destruction of this level and get it handled before it became necessary to do so. I was already skating on thin ice having not told him yet.
"Kid just...just shut up." Another of the police spoke up, placing a hand on the guy's shoulders and pulling him back a step. Excellent idea too, because Finn looked about ready to fire him on the grounds of being a complete dickhead.
Finn didn't have any patience for the people who worked for him, unlike the mountains of patience he totally had for me. Right? OK, so maybe I didn't get out easy when it came to him either, but I liked to think that was because I was fairly competent. At least I would have known to keep my stupid mouth shut.
Walking closer to the carnage, I held my breath. I didn't want to be taking in this kind of toxicity, but I knew that I was going to have to breathe at some point.
"Clear the area," I said, looking over my shoulder at Finn.
He raised an eyebrow and I mirrored him, daring him to disagree with me.
He wanted me to work my magic, and I was going to oblige him. It was going to be awful, and I was going to hate every moment of it, but I was going to do it nonetheless.
"You heard her," he said, coming up behind me. "Everyone who isn't in my crew go back down to the cars."
"What is she going to do?" One of the men in the team screwed his face up in confusion.
"What I pay her to do," Finn said, his tone brooking no argument. His expression? Ten times worse.
They cleared out without further comment.
"Find me...find me something I can work with," I said, looking down at the remnants of bodies and shaking my head. It was bloody depressing to look at all of this and think about how these had been people not too long ago. People with families, mums, dads, and maybe kids, certainly grandparents. People who had loved them, people who had been waiting for them to come home, people who would never see them again.
Sadness weighed heavily on me, as if trying to push me down to the ground with those shredded bodies.
It wasn't fair. I inhaled, pulling in the air that I needed and trying to ignore the smell that came with it.
"What do you need?" A voice from the team pierced my consciousness.
"A head, in one piece, would be preferable. A..." I couldn't finish the sentence that had started on my lips. A face would do if you can't find one. It was the worst kind of thought, I hated myself for thinking it.
I was going to do the ritual that Fred had taught me, the one that had led me into all kinds of trouble this past summer because I'd been so weak afterwards. I wasn't going to deal with that again, though, because Finn had brought me here so he would have to bring me back to my car, and then I'd be safely inside a locked vehicle on my way home.
See? I could have control when it was necessary. I just...usually sucked at lining up all the pieces.
Several faces looked back at me and I was surprised to see the shock on their faces. These were the same people I'd performed the ritual in front of before, they knew what I was going to do and they knew why I needed that head. Only the female officer, Krista, didn't seem to be shocked—she was the only one who had believed in what I was—though there was clear distaste writ into her face.
I let out a frustrated sigh. "Are you going to help me or not?"
"Get to it," Finn said before anyone could argue with me.
Silence pervaded the space as the rifling began. It was slow going, as no one wanted to disturb what was left of the campers any more than was necessary.
It took a good fifteen minutes to find a head that was in one piece, though it did have some nibbling on it from curious wildlife. I stood in the middle of the destruction when the find was announced.
One of the men, George, brought the head to me with gloved hands. He held it gingerly, as if afraid that it would wake up and bite him, and thrust it towards me.
"Here," he said.
Breathing through my mouth, I took the head from him. I didn't wear gloves, unlike the officers, because that would limit my connection with the dead. Finn would have to get over whatever contamination of evidence anyone would be worried about—if I was going to do my work, it would have to be my way.
Sitting the head on the ground, I scuffed a rough circle into the dirt of the campsite with my booted foot. As I reached the point where the ends met I pushed some of my will into it, snapping it shut and feeling the invisible column of energy rise around me. Now there was just me and the head, which I would use to call forth the last moments of a tortured soul.
I sat on the ground with my legs crossed, in the midst of the carnage, and picked up the head, turning it around so that I could look it in the face. Its jaw was slack, eyes shut, and there were scrapes, tears, and bite marks all over it. My stomach lurched, not from the sight of it, but from sympathy. No one deserved a death like this. I leaned forward so that our faces were mere inches away from one another.
"Ostende mihi." The words left my lips on a soft breath that rushed over the boy's face. A breath of life.
Its eyes snapped open, vibrant green orbs that stared into my soul and held me locked in place. And then it struggled with me, the eyes trying to close, the mouth yawning open and twisting into what might have been a scream if it still had lungs attached.
The soul was fighting me, refusing to come forward and show me what had transpired the night before, refusing to show me the death that had happened. I understood, and I felt like the worst kind of monster for forcing this soul to relive its last moments, but it was necessary.
"Ostende—" the word did not come easily "—Mihi—"
I was plunged into darkness.
11
I was curled up in a sleeping bag, the sounds of my friends snoring greeted my ears. A noise had woken me up, but I didn't hear anything out of the ordinary now. It wouldn't have been their snoring...I was used to those sounds.
I peeled myself out of my sleeping bag, the thing had stuck to me at some point in the night from all of my sweating. I hated sleeping in sleeping bags, they were never comfortable to get in or out of. Truth be told, I didn't even like camping very much. I much preferred being in a city to being outside in the wild, unsure what was going to come and eat you in the middle of the night.
But Janie had wanted to go camping, and well. I wanted her to like me. And it was London, so what was really going to come and eat you? Much more likely that some homeless person was going to come up and steal all of your stuff while you were sleeping. Still something to be worried about in the city, but at least you didn't have to fret about all the other outdoors stuff.
Like ticks. Ugh.
A shiver went down my s
pine at the thought of getting a tick, and I ran a cursory check over my body to make sure I didn't have any of the little buggers sticking to me. There just wasn't something right about a creature that fed off your blood.
It was then that I realised I needed a piss. Maybe that was what had woken me up after all.
I clambered over the other bodies and made it out of the tent, stumbling away from it. I didn't want someone to wake up and find me pissing on a tree, so I was going to go a little farther into the woods to take care of my business. Last thing I needed was for Janie to find me, dick in hand. That would be the nail in the coffin of any hopes I had of ever having a relationship with her.
Having found a tree sufficiently hidden from view, I jerked my shorts down and focused my eyes on the blanket of stars above. It was a peaceful enough night, the kind of night everyone talks about when they try to sell you on the whole camping thing. No one had ever understood why I didn't feel the 'call' of nature's beauty, whatever that meant. It was just a sky to me, a sky that I could just as easily look up at if I were safe at home in my bedroom.
But then I wouldn't have the chance at some alone time with Janie. She was the whole reason I was out here.
Crunch.
I heard the sound to my right and immediately darted my eyes in that direction. The steady stream I'd been making dried up at the idea of a threat. Truth be told, my balls might have shrivelled up too.
I yanked my shorts back up and spun around, not seeing anything in the darkness though my eyes had adjusted just fine.
"Who's there?" I called, ashamed of the high pitch my voice had taken. I wasn't scared...
Crunch.
That time the sound came from my left, and I whirled to face it. There was nothing there.
Crunch. Crunch.
It was getting louder, faster, and it came from behind. I couldn't help myself, I turned around again, feeling frantic now.
"Who's there?" I knew it was futile to repeat the words, but I did it all the same. There was no answer; had I really expected one? My breathing had picked up so that my bare chest was rising and falling. I didn't wait for another crunch, I took off back towards the tent.