by Izzy Shows
You know that feeling, when someone's looking at you and every hair on your neck stands on end and your skin burns in the exact spot where someone's looking? Yeah, that was happening, only it wasn't a spot. It was my entire back. I felt like it was on fire, itching, begging me to turn around and face what was coming for me, but some part of me knew better.
My thighs burned. I didn't remember the tent being this far away, had I gone in the wrong direction?
Panic was starting to creep up on me when I finally broke into the small clearing where we had pitched the tent.
"Janie! Max! Eric!" I called their names as I barrelled into the tent, struggling with the zipper to get the damn thing closed.
"What's going on?" Max said, struggling to sit up and wipe the sleep from his eyes. "What the hell’s got into you?"
"I heard something out there," I said, my voice frantic. I let out my air in a rush when the zipper finally moved and I got the tent closed. I don't know why I thought the flimsy fabric of the tent was going to keep me safe, but it was a barrier. A barrier to put between me and whatever was out there.
"Jason, you're being ridiculous," Janie said. Her voice sounded sleepy and adorable. I turned to look at her, I knew the fear was in my eyes, but I had this insane urge to protect her.
I had the sudden realisation that we were going to die out here.
"There's something out there," I said, staring at her.
She shivered, as if she could hear the truth in my voice. "Don't be silly. There's nothing out there, it's London, for Pete's sake."
"I don't care if it's the bloody moon, there's something out there!"
Crunch.
Everyone froze, then slowly they all looked at me. The sound had come from right outside the tent. I motioned a finger in front of my lips and shook my head. I hoped and prayed that they wouldn't make a sound, even though I knew that whatever was out there knew that we were in here.
"There's nothing out there," Max said, breaking the silence. He shoved me aside and undid the zipper. Just as he’d said, there was no monster waiting on the other side. "I don't know what nightmare you had, Jason, but you need to stop freaking everyone out." He stepped out of the tent and walked in a small circle in front of it. "See?"
I felt that tension in the back of my neck again and I shook my head, motioning for Max to come back into the tent. It wasn't safe out there, I knew that in my bones.
"Don't be such a baby," he said, hands on his hips.
"Come on, Jason, maybe if you go out there and see that there isn't anything there, you'll feel better," Janie said from behind me.
I turned to look at her, desperation writ into every corner of my face. She couldn't be serious, I had just been out there!
But she clambered out past me, the skin of her arm brushing against my chest that left my skin burning. I couldn't let her be out there alone, never mind that Max was out there. The thing was going to eat her, and I had to protect her.
I got out of the tent. Now only Eric was inside, and he didn't seem to like that, so he came out too.
"See?" Eric repeated what Max had said. "Nothing to be afraid of."
Suddenly the colour drained from their faces and they were all staring behind me. I trembled, wanting to turn around not wanting to at the same time.
A snarl came from behind me.
I turned slowly, to look death in the face. A giant wolf, black as night with glowing amber eyes, stared at me. Saliva dripped from its enormous fangs. I took a step back and it opened its maw to roar at me.
I fell on my back, scrambling backwards with my hands once on the ground. The ferocious animal advanced on me, its eyes set on mine as if it didn't see the shrieking teenagers behind me.
It lunged at me, its maw gaping open.
THE VISION CUT out and I was back in the daylight, staring down at the dead yet judgmental eyes of the boy who had died. A shudder passed through me.
"I'm so sorry," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper, and I felt tears tracking down my cheeks.
"Are you happy now?" The boy's voice sounded in my head.
I shook my head violently, looking down at the ground, unable to meet those eyes.
"I'm sorry," I said again. When I looked up the eyes had closed and the head looked just as it had when it had been handed to me. I put it down on the ground, yet I remained seated. I couldn't bring myself to stand, didn't want to tell Finn everything that I had seen. Some part of me didn't want to share the sad tale that had transpired, but even I knew that I had an ulterior motive to keeping it from him.
It had been a werewolf. The thing that had attacked these people, it had to be a werewolf. What other monster could fit the description of a large black wolf with eyes like that? It had been so much larger than the ones Kailan and I had seen this morning, there was no way it was just a tainted wolf. It had been too intelligent.
Which meant that it was Geoff. Geoff, who had sworn that he had given up the life of violence. Geoff, who preached tolerance and control.
Geoff, who might have been my friend in the future if I weren't about to hunt him down now.
I couldn't bring myself to believe it, not really. I didn't want to believe that Geoff was responsible for this carnage, but werewolves weren't exactly ten a penny. They weren't even supposed to be around anymore, but Geoff had told me what he was the first time I went to Serenity.
"Blair?"
I heard Finn, but he sounded far away. That was the effect of the circle. I inhaled through my nose, wrinkling it slightly at the scent of death that came along with it, and let it out in a big rush.
Tried not to think of the boy, Jason, doing the same thing.
Failed.
I stood up, scuffed the edge of the circle with one boot, and felt the entire thing snap and fall around me. No one else would know that it had happened, they wouldn't be aware of the energy falling down.
"Yeah?" I said, as if I hadn't just been through a traumatic event. As if my energy levels weren't dangerously low. Too bad for me, though, because I was swaying on my feet.
Finn rushed over to me and threw an arm around my back to hold me up right. "You OK?"
"Not really, no," I said. "Every time I do that, I think I'm going to be a little less OK for the rest of my life."
"Well...thank you, for doing it. I know it can't be pleasant, but we need it. What did you see?"
"I know their names. Jason, Max, Eric, and Janie," I said. I didn't know what to say about what had attacked them, because I didn't want Finn to bring the law down on Geoff. As horrible as it was, even knowing that it was a werewolf, I didn't want anyone to hunt Geoff until I had a chance to confront him. Give him a chance to explain himself and prove me wrong.
"I don't suppose you got last names?"
I shook my head. That would be too easy. "You haven't found any identification?"
"No."
"Well..." I looked down at the head. "His name is Jason."
Silence fell between us, Finn seemed to be aware that I was struggling with everything that I had seen. A wave of exhaustion fell over me, and I suddenly wanted to crawl into my bed. My knees buckled, and it was only Finn's arm that kept me standing.
"It was a wolf. I don't know anything else," I said.
"A wolf?" He frowned down at me. "What do you mean, it was a wolf?"
"It was a big wolf. I'll find out more, just give me some time."
His lips formed a thin line. "OK. But just one more attack, Blair, and I have to take this public."
"I'll try," I said. I knew that he didn't want to go public with this information. Who would? He didn't have a lot to go on, and chances were, the public was going to panic once they knew what was happening. "Can you take me home? I need to lie down now."
He nodded. "Hey, Krista." He turned and called to the police woman. "You're in charge, make sure everything gets bagged and tagged, and have everyone meet me at the station."
"Yes, sir!"
Finn looked back
at me. "Hook your arm around my shoulder, we'll get you back to the car and then home."
My eyelids fluttered, exhaustion wanting to claim me. I did as I was bid, though, and let Finn take most of my weight.
The mark on my wrist throbbed.
"Use me. I could give you strength."
A shudder passed through me. It would be a cold day in hell when I gave myself over to the mark.
12
I don't know how long it took to get home because I was asleep for most of the ride, my energy levels dangerously low. I was thankful, though, that Finn had been there to bring me home. If I'd had to get myself home, I don't know what would have happened to me.
I didn't want a repeat of the incident with the thralls.
"You awake?" Finn's voice brought me a little more into the present, shaking the last remnants of sleep from my mind.
"Yeah," I said, sitting up a little straighter in my seat. "Sorry about that."
"Don't be. I'm glad I drove you home, I didn't realise how exhausted you were."
I offered him a weak smile. He had no idea. I was going to be laid out for several hours when I finally got back in my house. Maybe I could have told him that, but I didn't want him to know all of my weaknesses.
There was going to be a day when Finn knew the truth about me and he was going to know real fear that day. And that might be the day when he decides to come after me, keep his city safe from me. I would do well to keep from him what he might use against me.
Dark thoughts. I shrugged at my own mental reprimand. I wasn't feeling particularly cheerful just now, after all the carnage I had seen.
After witnessing the death of the kid. Jason.
His name is Jason. I have to remember that. Jason, Max, Eric, Janie. People I didn't save.
"We're here," Finn said, dropping the car into neutral.
I looked out the window at my home, feeling the familiar sense of warmth rush into my chest. I had never had a home before I moved into Aidan's house. It had been one shoddy flat after the next, me getting kicked out for not having rent every single time. Before that it had been a slew of foster homes, of not being wanted, of being abused. I'd never been in one location long enough to put down roots, but I had lived in this house for two years now. It was the closest thing to home I was ever going to have.
"Thanks for driving me, Finn."
"Anytime. You get some rest, and then get me some answers." The look in his eyes told me that he was mostly teasing, but we both knew that we needed to get those answers sooner rather than later. Every minute that ticked by without an answer was another chance for the werewolf to attack again. I had to figure out who it was and stop them.
I only hoped it wasn't Geoff. I don't think I could take that level of betrayal.
I said goodbye and got out of the car, walking up the small path to my door. Passing a hand over the sturdy wood, I lowered the enchantments and went inside, raising them again. I used to be the kind of person who got antsy when a door wasn't locked—now I got antsy when I was somewhere that didn't have wards, which happened to be everywhere except my own home. Part of me feared for my friends, not having their own wards, but they all had much more powerful thresholds than I did.
A threshold exists in a home, it grows over time and is strengthened the more that place feels like home. A place like Finn's, handed down through generations, had a very powerful threshold. Nothing bad was going to get in there without a battering ram.
"Hey," I said to Kailan, who was sitting on my couch.
"Where've you been? It's way past lunch time."
I contemplated telling him about the case I was working on. It wasn't relevant to what we were doing, it had nothing to do with the Utakar, it was just more drama and stress for me. So, I shrugged my shoulders.
"Out," I said, without expanding on that anymore. "Where's Fred?"
"Who?"
I narrowed my eyes. "Fred. Little red guy, giant head, weird tail?"
"Oh. I didn't know that was his name..."
"Yeah, well, it is. Where is he?" I looked around the living room, as if he was going to magically appear—well hey, the kid was an imp. He could do whatever he wanted.
"I think he's downstairs."
I nodded, letting out an exhausted breath. "I need to get some food into me, I'm beat." I walked into the kitchen and began making myself a sandwich. I was going to bring it downstairs to the basement and talk to Fred while I ate it, and then I was going to crash on my bed. Normally, I would sleep on the couch during the day time, but that was Kailan's territory now. I wrinkled my nose at that idea, that any part of my house would be taken over by someone else. I needed to get this Utakar thing handled so that the Fae was gone from my domain.
Domain? Had I really just thought of my home as my domain? That was demon talk. I shook my head and finished making the sandwich. I poured some crisps onto the plate and immediately shoved one into my mouth. The salty taste of it was delicious.
Stepping back into the living room, I crunched a couple more. "What did you get up to while I was away?"
"Nothing, really. It was very boring."
"Yeah, well, you're probably going to need to get used to that. You're not going on any exciting excursions until this is all handled. There're some books over there you can check out, if that helps." I nodded my head toward the bookshelf and then headed down to the basement.
Being as exhausted as I was and carrying a plate of food, it was a little difficult to get down the stairs. I slumped against the wall a few times to catch my breath and stop myself from falling down the stairs, but I made it. I walked over to the picnic table and flopped into one of the chairs.
"Hey, Fred."
He had hurried over to the picnic table as soon as he saw me and my plate of food, and now took the opportunity to swipe a few crisps off the plate for himself. "Hi, Miss Blair!"
"You get up to anything interesting?"
His expression soured. "That Fae is being no funs, Miss Blair. Awful stodgy icky."
I raised an eyebrow and covered my mouth to let out a giggle. "I am very sorry to hear that. What kind of fun did you try to get up to?"
Fred stared at me for a long moment, as if deciding whether or not he should tell me, before he crammed one of his stolen crisps in his mouth and made a big show of chewing it. At least he kept his mouth closed.
"I had something I wanted to talk about," I said before I lifted my sandwich and took a big bite out of it.
"I is havings any informations Miss Blair is wanting," Fred said, swallowing his food, and grinning at me.
He was absolutely right. The little imp had a wealth of knowledge I was most likely never going to learn in its entirety, just because I didn't know the right questions to ask. That was how he worked, he didn't really get the concept of relevant information, he just answered questions. Every now and then he would throw a random tidbit at me, and I wouldn't know what to do with it other than to file it away for future use. The one thing I did know was to never ignore anything Fred told me; it was all too important for that.
I swallowed. "Remember werewolves?"
He glowered at me. "I is remembering tellings you that they is no good and they's goings to rip your face off, yes."
I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Come on, Fred, have a little faith in me. I'm not going to get ripped to shreds. But aside from that, do you remember how you said...I shouldn't think anything is ever truly gone?"
The space above his eyes knit together, where his eyebrows would be if he had them. "Yes..." He drew the word out slowly.
"You were right about that. I met a werewolf at Serenity."
His already huge eyes went wide. "And you is not tellings me immediately!"
"Well, no, I didn't think you were going to react very well, and it seems I was right about that."
He threw up his little hands and let out a wail. "You is going to die—" He brought his fists down onto the table, fixing a mutinous gaze on me. "And I is going to
be alone!"
I scowled at him. "You're not going to be alone. I'm not going to die. I made you a promise, Fred. And didn't I make good on that promise?"
The memory of his watery eyes looking up at me before the battle with Lilith, when he had been so terrified of me leaving him, came to mind. He had known then that I had been thinking of dying, that I had thought my final moment had come for me at long last, but I had been wrong. Maybe. Maybe if Mal hadn't intervened, Lilith would have found a way to kill me even as I had been about to strike the fatal blow. I don't know how it could have played out, I only knew how it did.
"Yes, you is alive. Now." He glared at me, as if I was going to change that at any moment.
He had a right to worry, my entire life was built around dealing with death on a daily basis. My profession wasn't exactly safe.
"Anyway," I said, dragging out the word. "The werewolf I met was really kind and patient, not at all like what you described." He didn't seem to like that, but before he could interrupt me I rushed on. "But now I'm starting to have doubts. There was an attack on the outskirts today, or last night, I don't know. Campers were killed, and when I performed that spell...I saw a wolf attack them. Giant thing with amber eyes."
"Werewolf," he said without missing a beat.
"Yes, I had already come to that conclusion, thank you. There has to be some other explanation though, another werewolf in London, something like that."
He let out a heavy sigh. "Miss Blair, is rare enough that you has found even one. You is thinking there is another? Feh."
I scowled. "You don't know what's out there."
"I know you is acting mundane."
My eyes went wide and my jaw slackened. "What?" I all but bit the word out at him.
"Only mundanes are trying to find explanations for things that is right in front of them. You is not liking the answer that you has already found, so you is closing your eyes!"
Damn him, he was right. I didn't want to believe that Geoff was involved, so I was doing everything I could to explain it away. I always made fun of the mundanes for acting like sheep, willing to ignore all the signs around them and just go on with their lives, yet here I was doing the same thing.