Desire

by Simone Sowood

  “So that’s a yes?” Sam said, and the four of us laughed.

  “Jenny, I love him so much it’s almost hard to comprehend.” I needed her approval. I didn’t want her to think I’d been stupid and rushed in it. Or be mad for not being at the ceremony.

  “Anyway, about this see-through dress, show us a picture,” Marla said.

  “I’m not sure I want to see Abbie nude,” Sam said.

  “It’s not like that,” I protested. “You couldn’t see anything.”

  “Whatever, just show us it,” Sam said.

  “I’ll show you all it on Saturday at my house, for a celebration dinner.”

  “You don’t have a selfie?” Jenny asked.

  “I didn’t have a pocket to keep my phone in,” I said, and stuck my tongue out at her.

  “Can I bring Collin Saturday?” Jenny asked.

  “Collin as in Collin?” I asked. Was she still back with her college boyfriend? Guilt hit the pit of my stomach, I had been so wrapped up in myself that I was completely out of touch with what was going on in my best friend’s life.

  “Maybe.” Jenny wasn’t giving anything up.

  “Well, if you’re bringing Collin then I’m bringing someone,” Sam said.

  “No way! What’s he like?” I asked.

  “You’ll find out Saturday.”

  “Well if you two are bringing yours, who am I supposed to bring? I’m not going to be the only solo act,” Marla said.

  “I’m sure you can find someone, Miss Lady with all the contacts,” Jenny said.

  Chapter 26

  “Richard? Wow, Sam never told us who she was bringing. Great to see you.” He took my extended hand and shook it. The last time I’d seen him, he’d been my boss, moments before Calvin released the email to the entire company.

  “We’re just friends.” Sam pointed at each and every one of us to punctuate her point.

  “Hello, Mr. McAllister,” Richard said when Jay entered the room.

  “Oh, please, Richard. He’s James in this house.”

  “I am?”

  “Yes, you are. Richard is here as Sam’s guest.”

  “Hi!” Jenny and Marla said in unison as they walked into the house.

  “You found us.”

  “How could we not? It’s too big to miss.” Jenny blushed as she realized she’d said that in front of Jay.

  Jay kissed the cheeks of Sam, Jenny and Marla. Jenny and Marla’s dates stood behind them.

  “Collin,” I said, rushing up to him. “How are you? It’s been so long, I can’t believe you’re back in town!” It’d been years since I’d last seen him and I gave him a big hug.

  “This is Marla’s date, Trent.” Jay shook their hands and I smiled at them.

  “I don’t know what I want first, to see the wedding photos or have a tour of your house.” Sam grabbed my hand and pulled me deeper into the cavernous entrance hall.

  * * *

  “Well, it’s a bit bigger than your condo.”

  “Whatever, Jenny. This is the craziest thing of all, we’re standing on the floor of the indoor swimming pool!” We’d left the men behind and I’d taken them through the ground-floor rooms and down to the basement. Or I should say lower level. We’d had to breeze through the rooms in order to get back to the guys in a reasonable amount of time.

  “Shut up,” Sam’s over-excitement caused her head to waggle and her curls to bounce. I raised my eyebrows, remembering how shocked I had been when I’d found out.

  “Come this way, I want to show you his horse trophy room. It’s incredible, the smell of leather is intoxicating. And there are pictures of Jay as a little boy, with his mom holding him on a horse. It’s so cute.” I loved the pictures of Jay as a child, of him being all cute and innocent but still with the same hint of charisma in his eyes. I really wanted to show them one.

  They followed along behind me and we stopped in front of the door of the horse room. I took hold of the door latch and tried to open it, but the door was locked. I rattled it, twisting and pushing again but it didn’t budge.

  “I guess Jay locked it. Another time.” Why did Jay lock it? I didn’t remember there being anything valuable inside. Maybe it was sentimental value.

  “You are showing me your sex palace.”

  “Sam!” Marla smacked her.

  “No, it’s fine. You want to see my bedroom? Come on, and I’ll show you all the clothes he bought me!”

  I led them to the elevator and pushed the button.

  “Are you kidding me? An elevator? My goodness, lady, this is insane.”

  We entered Jay’s bedroom, our bedroom.

  “Here, there are some pictures of Jay of a kid in this room.” I moved to the side table with all the framed snapshots. I scanned them for the ones of him as a child, but even though the frames were the same, the childhood pictures of him had been replaced with photos from our wedding.

  “Holy cow, you weren’t kidding about the see-through dress,” Sam said.

  “It’s beautiful though, Abbie. You look stunning,” Jenny said.

  “And tasteful. I would never have guessed a sheer dress could be so sophisticated,” Marla said.

  “Well, it is Vera Wang.”

  “We’d better get back, Trent will kill me for abandoning him for so long,” Marla said.

  “How did you meet?” I asked.

  “Oh, it’s nothing serious. He’s a partner at my recruitment agency.”

  * * *

  Rosie set elaborate plates of food in front of each of us. Food I couldn’t identify but smelled delicious. Some kind of meat in some kind of sauce displayed in the prettiest fashion.

  The eight of us chatted easily, and I was glad to see my closest friends hitting it off so well with Jay. He charmed them with his charismatic ways, the men as well as the women, and my heart overflowed with love for him.

  At a lull in the conversation, Trent said, “Jay, you must certainly be glad you had Abbie headhunted into Force McAllister.”

  “What?” I set my fork on my plate.

  “Yes, Jay had us approach…”

  Jay cleared tapped his fork on his glass until he had everyone’s attention. Everyone’s but mine. What did Trent mean, Jay had me approached? Jay stood and gave a little speech but I only tuned into it at the end.

  “To Abbie,” he said raising his glass.

  “To Abbie,” everyone said in unison and raised their glasses in response. All eyes were on me and I blushed. I hadn’t heard what Jay said, but what were the chances he’d acknowledged Trent’s comment?

  * * *

  I waved at the cars and closed the front door after the last one had pulled away from the house.

  “Jay, what did Trent mean when he said you had me headhunted?”

  “I don’t know.” He walked out of the entrance hall to the living room.

  I sped after him.

  “You do know. Of course you know. Otherwise you wouldn’t have cut Trent off.” I was tired of this. Every time I thought he was not hiding anything else, another thing came up.

  “Beautiful, I’m not…”

  “I’m your wife now. We can’t have any secrets. Stop hiding things from me.”

  “I don’t know what it is you think I’m hiding.”

  “Why did you lock your horse room?”

  He shrugged. “Habit.”

  “Habit to lock a room in your house?”

  “Keeps out the staff. I don’t like them in there, they move stuff around.”

  Jay always had a plausible explanation. I never knew whether to believe him.

  “What did Trent mean?” My voice was forceful. I would not back down, I hoped. My heart pounded in my ears.

  “You should have asked Richard. It’s his department, how should I know?”

  * * *

  All weekend I’d slept as near to my edge of the bed as possible. I hid in one of many the rooms all weekend, on the pretext of working. Jay didn’t press me for anything. It seemed like h
e was giving me space.

  Chapter 27

  I was relieved when Monday morning came around, I needed to get some space and think more about what Trent had said.

  “Hi Abbie,” Peter said as he dropped my mail onto my desk at work.

  “Thanks, Peter.”

  I flicked through the envelopes looking for a document I needed to sign when I came to a mysterious pink envelope that had been mailed. It was addressed to Abbie McAllister. Only a handful of people knew about our marriage. But I couldn’t think of a reason any of my friends would mail a card to my work.

  I slit open the envelope with my thumb and pulled out the folded paper inside.

  Poor Abbie just got married and already about to lose her husband. Unless he pays. Make him pay. For your own sake.

  That was it, nothing else. No signature. Nothing else in the envelope. I shook from my core. This blackmailing was getting out of hand. If Jay wasn’t going to go to the police about it, then I would.

  As confused as I was about my feelings about him I would not let anything happen to him. I loved him far too much for that.

  Without touching it more than I had to, in case there were fingerprints on it, I slipped the letter and envelope into a large folder. With it firmly gripped in my hand, I left the office and walked to the nearest police station.

  At first the police hadn’t taken me seriously. Then I told them the letter was referring to James McAllister, a billionaire. The police officer filled out some paperwork and took the folder with the letter from me.

  I gave them Calvin’s name but I didn’t know his address.

  “Thank you.” I turned and left, not convinced they would do anything useful.

  * * *

  “Hi, beautiful.” Jay pulled me into him after I’d gotten home, but I kept my arms at my side.

  “I’m worried about the blackmail.” I’d already decided not to tell him about getting the police involved, knowing he’d be angry. I was the person who was angry, he had no right to be.

  “Don’t be, it’s fine. It’s no big deal.”

  “How do I know that isn’t just another of your lies?”

  “What lies?”

  I pushed my body away from his and looked deep into his brown eyes.

  “Like the way you lied about not wanting your picture taken because you’re insecure about your looks.”

  He tilted his head to the side, almost rolling his eyes.

  “You know why I said that.”

  “Yeah, now, after Calvin exposed your lie. What other lies are you telling me?”

  “None.”

  “But then what did Trent mean about you having me headhunted?”

  “I told you. I don’t know!” He hadn’t raised his voice at me very many times, and it unnerved me a little but I was determined not to back down.

  “This is what you meant when you said you wanted me for years. Not that you meant you’d wanted to settle down with someone. You wanted me. How did you know who I was?” My hands balled into fists as I spoke, so tight my fingernails dug into my palms.

  “I’m not hiding anything from you.”

  “Is it really your reputation that matters more to you than money? Or is it something else, like another little tidbit of information you’re trying to keep secret from me?”

  “Abbie, no. There’s nothing. Stop with your baseless accusations.” His teeth were gritted, and I’d had enough.

  “You are just like Matt!”

  “I am nothing like Matt, NEVER accuse me of that.”

  We were in the entrance hall, I hadn’t gotten any further into the house. I turned on my heels and stormed out the door. I found the Tony the driver in the garage and demanded he take me to Jenny’s house.

  I hadn’t even had time to grab my toothbrush or a clean pair of underwear.

  * * *

  Jay texted me I didn’t know how many times. I hadn’t responded. Not even once. Tony told him I was staying at Jenny’s. At least he hadn’t turned up at her door.

  I called in sick on Tuesday and Wednesday. After much debate, I went into work on Thursday. If nothing else, I needed something to distract me from all my thoughts before I drove myself insane.

  There was no doubt in my mind Jay was hiding something. How did he find out about me? If Trent was right and Jay had me hunted down and given a job, how on earth did he know who I was? I was a nobody.

  The more worrying thing was why he wouldn’t tell me. If he’d come across me through my old company, Hamilton’s, why didn’t he just say so? What possible reason was there for him not telling me?

  * * *

  That night, on Jenny’s sofa, I decided there was only one way I’d ever find out the truth about James McAllister. The same way I’d found out the truth the first time. Calvin.

  Chapter 28

  I’d been pleading and crying for an explanation since I woke up. Since I’d regained consciousness.

  My head pulsated in pain, from the crying and screaming but also from the aftereffects of whatever drug they’d given me. And I’m sure they’d given me something.

  How else was it possible to explain the black hole in my memory of how I got here?

  I couldn’t even remember if they’d grabbed me on the street or not, and it scared me senseless.

  “Tell me!”

  What was happening? Would I be okay? Oh no, what if Jenny didn’t report me missing because she assumed I went back to Jay? And that Jay didn’t report me missing because he assumed I was still at Jenny’s?

  The realization sent my pulse rate even higher. How long could a pulse be crazy high before your heart burst?

  A door opened and there was a shuffling around. When I first woke up, I’d gotten to my feet and crashed around the room, trying to escape. Ever since then someone had been in the room with me, keeping me from moving around. This seemed to happen every thirty minutes or so. It seemed like a changing of the guard. Every other shift, the guard reeked of cologne that made the air hard to breathe. Something about him seemed familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on what, or who, it was.

  Calvin. It must be Calvin.

  “What do you want from me?” I screamed as loud as I could, the words ripping apart my throat and vocal chords.

  “Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!” Delirious with fear, I’d lost all reason. “Tell me! NOW!” My throat hurt like hell but I would not stop. “Tell me! Who are you? Tell me! Now!”

  “Would you shut the fuck up?”

  My lungs stopped. My heart ceased all movement. The throbbing in my ears was the only thing letting me know I was still alive. I swallowed. With my voice quiet and wavering, almost too sore to speak, I said, “Matt?”

  He let out a cackling laugh and ripped off my blindfold. His frame towered over me, threatening and angry. I cowered as deeply into the sofa as possible.

  “Stupid bitch, why couldn’t you have been quiet?”

  A million things ran through my head. A million things I wanted to ask, to know. But he frightened me far too much to make any sense of which thing I wanted to know most.

  “How?” I don’t even think my voice qualified as a whisper.

  Matt cracked a smile that took far too much pleasure in my position. Here I’d been thinking it was Calvin. Was something to do with Jay. Meanwhile it was my psycho ex-boyfriend.

  He sat down on the armchair, never taking his eyes off me. My stomach wrenched. I closed my eyes to calm it, knowing it was empty anyway. Breathe. In, out. In, out.

  “Bring this bitch a drink,” Matt called out.

  While I was desperate for a drink to soothe my throat, the idea of seeing the other person in on this kidnapping terrified me. After all, wasn’t that when things went bad in the movies? When the victim found out who the assailants were?

  “I’m okay.” Saying the words killed my throat, but I didn’t want to find out who the other one was.

  Maybe Matt intended to keep me as some kind of sex slave, like that guy in Cleveland. How wou
ld anyone ever find me?

  The door opened, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

  “What’s going on?”

  My eyes flew open at the sound of Calvin’s voice.

  “You two.” I cleared my throat, trying to soothe it. “You know each other?”

  “Of course we know each other, you dumb bitch. Why else do you think we’re in this room together?” Any hatred I’d previously held to Matt was quintupling by the second.

  Calvin’s presence relieved me. Now the police would know who’d taken me. I’d given them Calvin’s name myself. I might be relieved compared to how I’d been two minutes ago, but my body still trembled with fear.

  Lying on the sofa, my arms ached from their position behind me. Calvin left the room and returned with a can of Coke. It hissed when he opened it, he then shoved in a straw and held it near me.

  I wriggled my body, pushing off as best I could with my arms, until I got myself into a seated position. I stretched my neck until I got my lips on the straw. The cool liquid soothed my throat, and I gulped down as much as I could before Calvin took the can out of my reach.

  “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t gotten me fired,” he said as he set the can on the end table.

  My mind raced as fast as my pulse. Over the details of the blackmail conversation with Jay in Vegas. Over his spreadsheet on the jet.

  “Why, because I exposed the embezzling?”

  Calvin laughed at my comment.

  “Get real, Abbie, you didn’t expose a damn thing. Other than your tits.”

  Humiliation washed over me again. Calvin had stood in those woods and watched Jay and me. Who knew how many more photos he took. Or how much more explicit they were.

  “How did you know to follow us in the woods anyway?”

  “I recognized you the second I started working at Force McAllister.”