by Mary Smith
Copyright 2016 © Gone Writing Publishing
This publication is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state, and local laws, and all rights are reserved, including resale rights: you are not allowed to give or sell this book to anyone else.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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New Hampshire Bears’ Roster
Coach: Taden Long
Forwards:
15 – Hamilton Baer*
56 – Alden Brockman
11 – Ladd Hanes
28 – Edgar Hopp
81 – Zerrick Justice
88 – Finlay Mackey
67 – Gage McLoyd
16 – Vance Pemberton
53 – Jarvis Richter
72 – Remington Rosin
65 – Kyson Wick
86 – Bas Zorn
Defensemen:
6 – Cabel Dirks
4 – Keaton Jaco
32 – Walker Lange
2 – Dag Limon
5 – Ivan Rodin
7 – O’Dell Tillman
57 – Shade Wooten
Goalies:
50 – Teo Elgin
33 – Nathan Paxton
* - means Captain
Dedication
This is for G
Table of Contents
Roster
Dedication
About the Story
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Next Book
About the Author and Books
About this story:
I volunteer at a domestic violence shelter to help women obtain their GEDs and children stay on track with school. It’s very rewarding, and I understand what they’re going through because I’ve been in their shoes before.
One Saturday when I went to tutor, the director informed me that know there was a new person and a young child who came in the night before. I was quite taken aback to see a large male and a small female child. Being in a domestic shelter most women are petrified of men and here’s one on the couch.
Right away, I judged him. This is something I never do. I introduced myself and when he stood up he was at least six feet tall and a solid two hundred pounds. How can he be a victim?
But when I looked into his eyes, I saw it. The pain, the fear, the emptiness, the embarrassment of being beaten down for years. He was a victim, as was his little girl.
Over time—a long time—he began to open up to me and his story was outrageous. He was a broken man. Sure, he looked fine on the outside, short of some visible scars, but he was not whole.
We were able to find him a job and an apartment and when he left he gave me something... his medical records. Over two thousand pages of them. They were full of concussions, staples, stitches, broken bones, a gunshot wound, a stab wound, it went on and on…
I felt so compelled to write about his story. I sat down with him, and he looked over the outline for this book. He liked a lot but changed one big thing. Coach needed to find love and happiness. Originally, it wasn’t in the story.
However, his story doesn’t end like Coach. This man’s wife found him and his daughter. We’ll never know how or the details of his final night. He was killed by a single gunshot wound to his chest, and the wife died of a self-inflicted gunshot to the temple. Their daughter was unharmed… physically.
All profits from this book will be going to a special trust fund for the young girl and to help her through life.
Prologue
January
MY HEAD IS pounding. It hurts more than ever before. I don’t want to open my eyes and face the reality in front of me. I know what it’ll be… her yelling at me for something I’ve not done. I force my eyes open, but I’m not in the hallway at the hotel anymore where Sharon was yelling at me about hitting on one of the player’s wives. I had been simply asking about her family and children. Nothing more.
“Daddy? Daddy!” My beautiful daughter Janan takes my hand in hers. “Nova, get the nurse,” she tells my niece who is on the other side of my hospital bed.
“Why am I here?” I manage to talk.
“The bitch went nuts-o on you at the party. You have a concussion and stitches.” She points to my head, but I don’t even reach up to see where the issue is. I already know. I’ve been in this situation before––Sharon loses her temper and takes it out on me.
“Where is your mother? I don’t want to press charges.” I suddenly remember seeing Vance Pemberton and Hamilton Baer, two of my players on the New Hampshire Bears, talking to me and trying to keep me awake. I’m certain the police were called.
“Daddy, I—” She’s cut off as the nurses come into my room.
They begin to ask me a hundred questions, taking my blood pressure and checking my heart with the stethoscope. After they realize I’m alive and somewhat okay, they leave me alone with my girls. Nova hugs me tightly and cries on my shoulder.
“I’m fine. I’m okay.” I keep repeating over and over to her, helping her to calm down.
Once her tears slow down I squeeze Janan’s hand. “Where is Sharon? Did the police arrest her? Is she home?”
Janan shakes her head. “Daddy, after you came to the hospital, she disappeared. No one could find her. The police went to the house to try to find her, but they finally found her in the hotel parking lot.”
I can see she’s not telling me something.
Janan finally sits up straighter and says, “She killed herself.”
February
Chapter One
NUMB.
It’s what I feel all over my body.
I sit on the bench staring at the ice in the New Hampshire Bears arena. I’m actually staring at nothing more than the fresh ice. No one is here. It’s just me.
What has happened to my life in the past month? In the past twenty years? It’s like I blinked and one minute I was a college hockey player, then the next minute I was a professional player, and then I was on the coaching staff. For the past four seasons, I’ve been the head coach for the Bears.
It’s my love, besides the unconditional love I have for my daughter Janan and my niece Nova, whom I’ve had custody since she was two after my sister died from ovarian cancer. Nova’s father was never part of her life and still hasn’t seen her after all these years.
Then there is my wife, Sharon.
I was nineteen when I met her. It was love at first sight for me. She had a bright smile, and it made my heart stop. Six months later, we stood in front of a judge and married, even while
still in college.
Our life was perfect in the beginning. We traveled, laughed and loved so much. Then Janan came, and my heart couldn’t contain all the elation I felt. For the first two years, Sharon was the greatest mother, then Nova came, and she was still fine.
Then the drinking started…
“Coach?”
Breaking me from my thoughts, I turn to see Hamilton Baer, the captain of the Bears, coming over and sitting next to me.
I don’t say anything.
“You’re coming back tomorrow, right?”
I slightly nod.
“The guys and I miss your yelling at us.”
Hamilton jokes but I don’t smile.
“We’re here for you and the girls. There’s no judgment.”
“The entire world knows about my life.” I growl.
“True, but the ones who know the truth understand what you went through.”
I know this kid is trying to be a nice guy, but he knows jack shit about what I’ve been through.
“Hamilton.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Go away.” I don’t have to look at him to know I’m hurting his feelings. He’s a good guy, but I don’t want to be around anyone.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at practice.” Hamilton pats my shoulder and leaves me alone in the arena.
The silence is so loud it’s almost deafening. My thoughts bounce all around my head, but I can’t concentrate on anything.
Maybe if I go home it’ll be better.
HOME. WHAT DOES the word mean anymore?
I sit in my car parked in the garage and stare forward. How long would it take for me to die if I turned this car on? The pain would go away, right? If I died? What about Janan and Nova? My daughter and niece are my world even though I can’t always protect them.
Because I’m not a man.
I’m weak.
A knock on the window causes me to jump. My daughter’s big brown eyes look at me.
“Are you okay, Daddy?”
Am I okay? What does that word mean anymore?
“I’m fine.” My robotic statement is the same and has been since my first bruise.
“Nova made dinner,” she tells me through the glass.
“Dinner?” I glance at my watch. I’ve been out here for several hours. “I’m coming.”
Janan stares at me for a few more seconds before going back into the house, leaving me alone again.
I grab my items and walk into the house. I make sure I softly shut the door. Sharon hated the sound of slamming doors. I gently place my keys on the assigned hook and hang up my coat. Double checking to make sure the hanger remains two inches from the notch Sharon etched onto the wooden rod.
I make my way into the dining room where the girls have already set the table to Sharon’s liking. Everything is clear glass and polished silverware. We’re not allowed to have drinking glasses because they can cause sweat stains on the oak table. Nova even set a place for Sharon at the head of the table. Sharon said the head of the house sits there and I’m not man enough to be given that privilege.
Nova brings the plates over to the table. The chicken breast is cut into a three ounce portion on the right side of the plate along with three stalks of asparagus cut into five inch lengths on the left side. Once she’s served us, we very carefully pick up our utensils and gently eat without banging or clanking the items.
Sharon didn’t like those sounds either.
We eat in our allotted ten minute time frame and clear the table. Each of us grabs a bottle of water, wiping it free of any droplets. The girls clean the kitchen as I go to my office and go through some films.
I make notes and such for tomorrow’s practice and email some to my assistants: Kevin Shields and Mike Barger. They have really stepped up since I’ve been dealing with Sharon’s death, funeral and her Will.
My eyes grow heavy, and I turn everything off and head up to the bedroom. I need to be ready for tomorrow and get back into my routine. Isn’t that what a widower is supposed to do?
WHEN I GET out of bed in the morning, I quickly make it ensuring the hospital corners are tight and the pillows are arranged correctly. I even double check because nothing can be out of place.
As I walk into the bathroom, I set the timer for ten minutes and jump into the shower. I’m out before it goes off. I wipe down the shower stall free of any water just like Sharon had instructed. I hang my towel on the rack and check to make sure the corners are even and it hangs to her specifications.
I dress for practice and head down to the kitchen and am greeted with soft giggling. When I turn fully into the room, Hamilton is sitting at the breakfast bar with Nova and Janan.
“Hey, Coach.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Morning, Uncle Tad,” everyone says at the same time.
“Morning.” I nod to the three of them and go to make my coffee.
“I brought breakfast,” Hamilton tells me and points to a wrapped item on the counter.
“Thank you.” I turn back to the coffee machine and wait for the mug to fill. I glance at the girls as they eat their burritos. Sharon wouldn’t like them to have all those carbs.
As they finish up their food, Nova quickly cleans it all up. I make sure there’s no leftover water in the sink and all the dishes are clean and put away.
“Coach, I figured you could ride over with me today,” Hamilton offers.
“Daddy, we’ll be later than usual tonight. I have some things to do on campus,” Janan tells me as she kisses my cheek and leaves with Nova in tow.
I glance at Hamilton. “Fine.” I don’t feel like driving anyway. I clean the counters and my mug before grabbing my bag and heading out with Hamilton.
The entire drive I don’t speak to Hamilton. There’s nothing to say. Thankfully Hamilton respects my quietness and doesn’t push any questions on me.
When we reach the arena, I go straight for my office and shut the door. Here I’m allowed to slam the door, and I do often.
As I fall back in my leather desk chair I sigh in relief. This is where I feel the safest—alone and in my office. It’s my sanctuary. She couldn’t touch me here. My eyes gaze at our family picture on my desk. We look happy and like a true family. Sharon’s long dark, shiny brown hair and golden hazel eyes are what first attracted me to her.
It was like yesterday…
I ran down a path behind the campus that many didn’t know about because I could be alone. This time I wasn’t though. I’m front of me was a sensational woman. Her hair high in a ponytail, wearing a sweatsuit made for men and too big for her. She stops to tie her laces as I stop to study her some more.
“You have great form,” I blurt out next to her.
“Excuse me?” When she looks up at me my knees weaken at her stunning eyes.
“Um…” No word would form or come out.
“Cat got your tongue?” She smiles, standing up.
We stare at each other for a few seconds before I blurt out the words, “Will you go out with me?”
She looks me up and down before she shrugs. “Sure.”
My life had changed in an instant…
“Taden?”
I look up to see Oliver Matthews standing in the doorway.
“May we speak?”
I nod. Does he think I’ll say no? He’s the owner of the Bears and one of my bosses.
“Are you sure you don’t need more time off?”
“You’ve given me more than enough time. Thank you.”
Oliver sits in the chair across from my desk. “Tad, I’ve known you for a long ass time, and I want to make sure you are okay. Physically and mentally. First and foremost, you are my friend.”
We became good friends while I was still playing in the PHL. Oliver is a billionaire who owns more businesses than I can count, not to mention the New Hampshire Bears of course, the Manchester Cats baseball team, and the Concord Rams football team. He’s a sports nut in the truest sense.
“
I’m fine.”
“Don’t pull some bullshit line on me.” Oliver shakes his head. “You’ve been through so much, and I feel like a fucking dumbass because I’ve not been there to help.”
“I’m certain you have an empire to run, old man.” I try joking with Oliver because it’ll show him I’m fine and he’ll leave.
“I’m not fifty, yet.” He laughs, and his round Santa-like belly jiggles. “I’ll leave you to it then, but if you need anything please let me know.”
I nod and turn back to my computer as he leaves. I check my emails and memos that have come down from management, but it’s nothing demanding for me right now. I keep my eyes diverted from the picture because I can’t handle any more memories today. I don’t want to think about her right now.
“Tad, you made it in.” Kevin Shields, one of my assistant coaches comes into my office.
I really need to shut my door and lock it. “Yes, I got here about an hour ago. Did you get my email last night?”
“Sure did. Mike is on his way right now. So.” He pauses and clamps his mouth closed a bit tighter before asking the one question I know I’ll be hearing a lot. “How are you doing? You haven’t really talked to us since... um... everything?”
“I’m fine.” It’s the universal answer, and I’m hoping it keeps everyone off my back.
“If you ever want to talk—”
“I’m fine.” I glare at him and without telling him outright I want him to shut the fuck up.
“Okay.” Kevin is a smart guy and doesn’t ask me anything else and starts talking about Teo Elgin.
I sigh. Teo Elgin. What am I going to do with him? He was once the top goalie in the league but last season and this season he has shown that he’s lost his touch, and I don’t think he’ll be getting it back anytime soon.
“Mike and I both think you should send him to the farm.”