Firestarter

by Collins, Patsy

That was sort of right, but only part of the problem. 'Anything else?'

  'And for smothering you. I never meant to, but I see now I did and how frustrating it must be.'

  Alice wondered who he'd been talking to. Clearly it was someone very sensible.

  'I know how keen you are on fire prevention,' he continued. 'Guess I got carried away and did a fire blanket impression.'

  That made Alice laugh and the fact he seemed to understand what he'd done to upset her and to be sorry about it gave her hope the problem was solved. In fact things were great for a few days. What he hadn't said and she hadn't realised was that being aware of his desire to control her didn't mean he was capable of stopping that behaviour. His jealousy and possessiveness flared up again when she showed him the dress she'd bought for the school reunion.

  'Who are you trying to impress? I thought it would just be your old school friends.'

  'It will, but that doesn't mean I don't want to look good. Kate thought it was perfect.'

  'Kate would. Don't you think it's a bit short?'

  'No shorter than I often wear.'

  'Yes, but you're with me then.'

  'I don't see what difference that makes. Besides, you could have come if you'd wanted to.'

  'You didn't sound as though you wanted me.'

  Maybe that's because she hadn't. Alice had hoped to talk to all her old friends, not avoid the male ones in case Tony got jealous. And of course Hamish might be there. If Tony knew she was saying so much as 'rotten weather' to her former crush he'd probably make some kind of scene. If he learned, as he probably would, that Hamish was now a fireman he'd have a fit.

  'Come if you want,' she said, making no attempt to disguise the reluctance she felt.

  'Oh don't put yourself out! And don't wear that dress.'

  She got an apology that night and though he said she'd look fantastic anyway, he booked her in to have her hair done just before the reunion. That really was a positive step; him actually encouraging her to look her best even though men other than himself would see the result.

  Alice was wearing the dress and almost ready to leave when Tony phoned. 'I'll be with you in five minutes, Alice.'

  'I'm going out, remember?'

  'Yes and you asked me to go with you. Sorry it's taken me so long to realise I should. You cancel the taxi and I'll drive you.'

  Alice rang the taxi company, then she waited. And waited. Almost an hour after he'd called, she was getting worried. He was rarely late, even when there was a good reason, and then he always called to let her know. If he'd had an accident driving over just to take her somewhere he hadn't even wanted to go, she'd feel awful. When he arrived safe and well without a word of explanation she was furious.

  'I'd have been there an hour ago if you'd just left me to it.'

  'What difference does it make, unless you'd arranged to meet someone?' he demanded.

  She didn't reply. She was wondering if his change of mind over the reunion was because it was he who'd arranged to meet someone. Perhaps he'd organised something with former prefect Rachel so he could spend the whole time discussing business and not waste it having fun. Well he could talk to her if he wanted, Alice wasn't the one with issues.

  When Tony stopped the car to reverse into a parking space she got out, slammed the door and went straight to the hall. She saw several people she recognised, including Hamish who was rushing for the exit.

  'Alice! I can't stop to talk as I've been called to a big fire.' He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. 'Call me, you know, if you want.' He was already running towards the car park as he called the last few words.

  When Tony caught up with Alice he said, 'Did you see that idiot?'

  'Idiot?'

  'He's that fool who couldn't find a cash point, isn't he? Nearly knocked me over! Selfish or what?'

  'Selfish? You call a fireman going on duty selfish?'

  For a moment, Alice felt mean for snapping. How was Tony supposed to guess the man hurrying out of her school reunion was a fireman going on duty?

  'A fireman? Oh now I get it, you came here to meet him, didn't you? No wonder you didn't want me here.'

  'Don't be ridiculous, Tony.'

  'What have you got there?' He grasped her wrist and took the note. 'Dear Alice, give me a call if you're ever free for that drink. He's written his number as though you don't already know it!'

  'Actually I don't, so please give it back.' She tried not to look at the crowd forming around them.

  'No girlfriend of mine is going to phone a fireman!' He didn't so much shout as scream.

  'No? Your ex is most definitely going to though. Give me the number, Tony.'

  'It's either me or this piece of paper, Alice.'

  'Give me the number, Tony.'

  He screwed it up and dropped it into the mud, reminding her of the way he'd dropped the calendar Kate had given her onto the floor. She did what she should have done then and picked it up.

  Tony strode away. If he noticed the cheers and clapping directed at Alice, he didn't react.

  Alice turned to her schoolmates. 'Well, I've just split up with my boyfriend. What's new with you guys?'

  Alice's old friends took her to get a drink. She was pleased to find Kate near the bar.

  'There you are. I was starting to think something had happened to you.'

  'Something has.'

  There was laughter as those who'd seen the whole thing gave greatly embellished details to those, including Kate, who'd missed the fuss. Alice noticed Rachel on the edge of the group. It didn't matter that she couldn't hear, she was bound to prefer Tony's version.

  'Handsome Hamish is a fireman now, did you know?' Melanie asked.

  'I did and I have his phone number!' Alice waved her paper trophy.

  'Will you be ringing it?' Kate asked.

  'I might.'

  'That's a yes,' was a sentiment shared by most of those who'd been Alice's friends.

  Chapter 6

  Tony sent her a huge bunch of sunflowers the next day. They were gorgeous, but didn't make Alice smile. Neither did the note saying he was sorry and would make it up to her. It felt like she was trapped in a revolving door of arguments and apologies. She wasn't though, she'd stepped out and left the door spinning behind her.

  Once, several months ago, Alice had caught Tony with her phone in his hand. He'd claimed he'd seen it on the table and was simply putting it in her bag so she didn't forget to take it with her, but she'd been sure he was checking it to see who she'd called, or had called her. He'd do it again, wouldn't he if he knew she was in possession of a fireman's phone number? He'd never trusted her, despite not once having a reason to doubt her. To think she'd turned down the opportunity to live out her fantasy of being rescued by a fireman just because there was a chance he'd learn of it and be upset. And why would he have been upset? No doubt he'd have a string of plausible sounding reasons all boiling down to two things, he didn't trust her and wanted to control her.

  For a week she ignored his calls and texts and refused to let him in when he called. She also refused to accept the next bouquet he sent. That amount of fragrant lilies, long stemmed roses and lush ferns would make it difficult to move round her flat and she didn't want to feel as restricted in there as she had in her relationship with Tony. They were far too lovely to go to waste though, so she took off the card and asked the delivery girl to take them to the flat opposite.

  'Her name is Doris. Just say they're from someone who wanted to make her smile.'

  Alice smiled herself as she listened to her elderly neighbour first say there must be a mistake and then thank the girl profusely once assured they really were for her. Alice would make a point of visiting Doris and her little dog later on, to give her a chance to show them off. Doris was always thrilled to receive postcards and made Alice read any she got, so it was easy to guess she'd be delighted with the flowers. The card from Tony went in the bin without being read.

  Tony's calls became more frequent, b
oth to her phone and at work. There she had no choice about answering but she hung up as soon as she realised it was him. When both Kate and her parents began to get calls she realised ignoring him was just passing the problem onto someone else and she answered the next time he phoned. As soon as he let her speak, she said. 'It's over, Tony.'

  'You don't mean that.'

  'Yes. I do. I'm going to pack up everything of yours that's here and bring it over. I'd be grateful if you could have my stuff ready to collect.'

  'Has Kate put you up to this? You don't have to do everything your big sister tells you, you know.'

  She clenched her teeth and breathed deeply. 'When would it be convenient for me to collect my things?'

  'For God's sake, Alice!'

  'When, Tony?'

  'I'll bring them tomorrow evening.' After a pause, he added, 'I really am sorry, Alice.'

  'I know.'

  She didn't want to be on her own when he came and have to listen to more apologies or pleas for her to change her mind. Having Kate with her would probably turn an awkward situation into a row and she didn't want that either, so she phoned her mum.

  'We'll come over, love. Don't worry about it.'

  When they arrived Kate was with them, but she'd only come to take Alice out until after Tony had been.

  'If you see him it will probably be upsetting for both of you,' her mum said. 'We'll call you when he's been and gone.'

  'So how are things with Pete?' Alice asked her sister once they were settled in the pub.

  'Fine thanks.'

  'Fine? That sounds like something I'd have said about Tony. Is it not going well or are you trying to spare my feelings?'

  'You know me, always tactful!'

  'Hmmm. So it is OK? Come on, spill.'

  'He's lovely.' There was no doubt she meant it.

  'You don't talk about him much.'

  'No.' She sipped her drink. 'Alice, now might not be the time, actually it's obviously too late, but think about the things you told me about Tony. Who were you trying to convince when you kept saying he wasn't smothering you, or that he had lots of good points or that actually you'd gone off all your favourite clothes and preferred to dress in a burkha?'

  'It wasn't as bad as that... but you're right, we weren't right for each other and deep down I've known that for a while.'

  'So, Handsome Hamish? You're going to call him, right?'

  'Probably.'

  'Do it. Nothing mends a broken heart like hot sex with a member of the emergency services, take it from me.'

  'I'm not sure my heart is broken.' Admittedly the cure sounded tempting. Maybe it would work as a preventative, but Alice wasn't sure Kate really knew what she was talking about. 'When have you ever had hot sex with an emergency services guy?'

  'Don't you remember Malcolm?' Kate asked.

  'No... the only Malcolm I remember you seeing was that spotty bloke who worked for the AA.'

  'That's the one. Huge spanner and he could jump start anything!'

  They had a text, saying Tony had left, before Kate's pep talk could get any more detailed and attract any more of a 'pretending not to listen' audience.

  As well as the things she'd left at Tony's flat, he'd brought more flowers.

  'You shouldn't have taken them,' Kate said.

  'It wasn't my place to refuse and he really is sorry,' her mum said. 'I think he understands now where he went wrong.'

  'Wouldn't stop him being just the same within a week though, would it?' Kate asked.

  'No, probably not. I didn't mean you should change your mind, Alice, just that I couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him.'

  Alice said, 'You take the flowers, Mum. They'll look lovely in the lounge.'

  'OK, love.'

  Her dad offered to change her lock, but after checking he'd returned her key, Alice said it wasn't necessary.

  When she got home from work the next day and saw Tony waiting outside she began to wonder about that.

  'I just came to bring this,' he held out one of her necklaces. 'I missed it when I packed up your other things.'

  No he didn't. It would have been with the other two which he'd already returned. Nothing was ever out of place in his tidy flat. He'd kept it deliberately as an excuse to come back. She wasn't going to argue with him though, not any more.

  'Thanks,' she took it from him, then climbed the stairs and tapped on Doris's door. She didn't look back to see if he followed, but when she came out half an hour later after making a fuss of Rufus, her neighbour's dog, and drinking a cup of tea, he wasn't to be seen.

  Alice didn't hear from Tony again until Valentine's Day when he sent her a pretty posy of scented blooms. The attached card read 'I miss you'. He'd signed it and added a single kiss. It made her cry. She considered sending a message to thank him, but decided it would be better not. His birthday was in April, perhaps she'd send him a card then to show there were no hard feelings.

  She waited another two days before calling Hamish.

  After a few minutes chat about the reunion and regret he'd had to leave so early, Hamish asked, 'So, no boyfriend now?'

  'Hmm.'

  'You don't sound sure.'

  'I'm sure it's just... how about I tell you when I see you?'

  'OK. Tonight at the Sunken Yacht?'

  'Works for me.'

  'See you about seven then?'

  It took Alice a long time to decide what to wear; there was so much to take into account. It was a first date so obviously it was important she looked good. A first date with a fireman she'd once had a crush on, and apparently still did, which took it two stages up from important. Crucial? Vital?

  Then there was the weather. It wasn't exactly warm out and she'd be walking to the pub and possibly home again after one drink. Thinking back over the conversation she wondered if all he had in mind was a kind of pre-date chat to see where he stood. She'd get on better if she stopped thinking about what was in his mind and concentrated on what was in her wardrobe.

  Her pleated skirt was quite smart and the Sunken Yacht was a fairly smart pub, so she'd wear that. It was on the short side but if she wore thick tights and boots against the cold, that should stop her looking like a complete tart. Well it would if she opted for the sensible boots she could actually walk in. Yes, they'd be perfect – they had furry turnover tops in the same dark grey as her skirt. A white blouse on top? No, too much like school uniform and she didn't want to give the wrong impression. In this case the wrong impression would be of an awestruck fourteen-year-old with mild acne; exactly how she'd been whenever she came in contact with him in fact. Besides, she didn't want him thinking she was so uniform obsessed she wore one herself.

  Her black velvet top? No, it'd seem borderline goth with the rest of her outfit. The pale yellow? No, she'd freeze. A cream blouse might be OK, that would go with her woolly tights so she'd be super co-ordinated and classy. And if she put something colourful over it then it wouldn't look like school uniform. Her mad orange jumper with the 3D knitted oranges complete with black stalks and vividly green leaves? It wasn't what anybody would consider appropriate dress for any occasion she could think of, but it was colourful and it was cosy. She pulled it on. If anything it looked even more mad once contrasted with the crisp pleats of her skirt.

  This was hopeless. Maybe she should ask Kate's advice after all. She picked up her phone and saw it was a quarter to seven. Yikes! She tugged on her boots and rushed down the stairs and out the flat doing up her coat and stuffing her hands into her gloves as she went. Women weren't objects to be judged solely on appearances anyway, were they?

  Hamish already had a drink in front of him when she arrived at the Sunken Yacht. He got up to give her a peck on the cheek and a hint of his citrussy aftershave. Alice resisted looking at her phone to check the time or just apologising for being late in case she was. He'd said about seven and it must be somewhere around that time.

  They went through the conventional, 'nice to see you', 'can I get you
a drink?' and 'where shall we sit?' in a rather stilted manner. That could be good though, couldn't it? If she was just some girl he was having a drink with because he happened to have gone to the same school as her, he'd be chatting as easily as he had on the previous occasions they'd met, wouldn't he?

  Alice removed her coat and hung it on the back of a chair. She saw Hamish had noticed her jumper. His lips twitched and sea-green eyes sparkled as though he'd thought of a good joke and was trying to resist saying it.

  'So, Alice, there's something I'd like to get straight.'

  Was he wondering if she were the new man from Del Monte? She'd certainly find it easy to say yes to him.

  'The boyfriend situation. You were on your own at the reunion and you phoned me, so I'm hoping he's now an ex?'

  'Yes. Definitely.'

  'That's OK then. You didn't sound so sure this afternoon.'

  Alice explained her break-up with Tony was very recent. 'He was possessive and wanted me to move in and... it was all a bit intense. I guess I'm still adjusting to being able to do what I like without having to get approval first and check in afterwards.'

  'So you don't want to get involved with anyone for a while?'

  Looking at him she did want that very much, but maybe it wasn't a good idea to jump from the frying pan into the arms of a fireman? 'I don't know.'

  'Let's just see how things go. If you want space, just say.'

  She nodded. Already she felt more comfortable. 'So when did you decide to become a fireman?'

  'When did you develop a thing about them?'

  She thought of denying it, but instead said, 'I asked you first.'

  He put his hands up in surrender. 'They came into school once, do you remember?'

  'Oh, yes. There were three of them, an older guy and two younger ones who were actually quite...' Too much information, Alice! Hamish probably wasn't interested in their eye colour and inside leg measurements. 'Er, yes. I do vaguely recall that.' She should as she'd been partly responsible.

  'All the classes had safety talks I think and got to set off extinguishers,' Hamish said.

  'Yes, we did that. There was a big pan of oil that went everywhere. It could have doubled as a healthy eating lesson as none of us wanted to go near a deep fat fryer after that.'