Fi grabbed the gun with a sigh and held it to her chest like a lost puppy. Oh thank God, she thought. The cool metal felt reassuring in her hands and her heart began to slow as she plopped down cross-legged and stroked the barrel with her fingertips. Asher made a noise and she turned to him and saw amusement in his eyes. He cocked his head.
“I gotta hand it to you Fi,” he said. “You’re by far the most unusual girl I have ever met. I’ve never met any woman who loved a gun that much.” His lips parted into a warm, friendly smile that filled his whole face, crinkling his blue eyes at the corners. Under his warm gaze she felt her skin prickle, leaving her confused for a moment. She shook it off with a grin and tucked the gun into the back of her pants. Her holster had broken in the fight. Oh well, she thought, Asher was probably right about the ammo anyway.
“Hey, can you blame a girl for loving her partner in crime?” she joked, an easy smile spreading across her face. A strange, strangling sound came from Sean. Fi and Asher both turned to him with quizzical expressions.
“Sorry,” he said. “Clearing my throat.” He peered at Asher from his good eye, icepack still pressed to his left. “Sooooooo,” he said with sarcasm. “Let’s be straight here, Asher. First you strap me to a chair and beat me up…and then you save my life.” He tried to make a face but he winced instead. “Not sure what that means really?”
Asher nodded. “I’m sorry about the whole thing, Sean, I truly am. Suffice it to say that I was my gang’s Leader. I don’t know if I have to explain how hard it is to be in charge in the middle of all this,” he gestured at the devastation around them, “mess.”
Sean nodded. “I understand,” he said, his tone still bitter. He shifted his hips over on the ground and threw his arm around Fi’s shoulders in a possessive gesture. “You gotta do what you gotta do, right? Fi and I would do anything to protect our Family.” Fi frowned at Sean’s arm around her shoulders in confusion. Why was Sean acting this way, she wondered? I mean, she knew he would do anything to defend his Family, but let’s face it, she didn’t need his protection. Annoyed, Fi shifted away from Sean’s arm.
“So what’s next then, Asher Grey?” The question hung in the air between them.
Asher’s gaze flitted from Fi to Sean and back to Fi, his eyes uncertain. “Well, I guess you could answer that as well as me. What were you two planning to do next?”
Fi considered the small garden. “How much time do you think we can spend in this location?”
“I don’t know, but not longer than tonight,” he said, rubbing his head with his left hand and pushing his blonde braid back over his shoulder. “I know that the Lobos will come looking for us if they can tell that someone escaped the warehouse. We killed their leader and they will be out for blood.” Though his voice was serious, Fi felt a sudden wave of humor.
“You mean you killed their leader,” she teased.
“Yeah, well it’s all the same to the clam,” he said wryly to himself, startling Fi for a moment. A swordsman who uses children’s poetry references, she thought, perplexed. Who is this guy? He continued, “I moved us out of the heart of Lobo territory and into the heart of the Deacons’ territory, which isn’t that much better except that they’re not looking for us.”
Fi considered this. “I think that now we need to wait for dawn to move because it’s getting too late today and I don’t want to leave this spot,” she nodded at the low sun overhead and Asher agreed.
“Even though the gangs are mostly active during the day I think we’ll be ok as long as we’re smart and move swiftly. I’ll get us out of the City, I promise you that,” he reassured her.
Fi felt comforted by his knowledge of the gangs. “Do you think we are safe here until then?”
“As safe as we can be, yes,” Asher replied. “We can’t let our guard down though.” Fi turned to Sean briefly and noticed that he seemed a little chagrined to be left out of the discussion. Usually they strategized together. But he stayed quiet, loyal to his place in Fi’s Family. “And what then?” Asher asked her. She took a careful seat on the edge of one of the low brick flower boxes.
“That,” Fi said, “is the real question. I can tell you this much, if you can get us back to the bridge safely then I can get all of us north from there.” Asher raised an eyebrow. “Sean and I live up north, we belong to a Family. We are devoted to each other and we protect each other.” She nodded at Sean and smiled and he half-smiled in return, wincing as the smile stretched his sore face. “We have rules that are enforced and everyone survives because of them.” As she talked, Fi reached behind her and unwound the elastic at the bottom of her braid. She shook her hair loose but failed to notice the simultaneous intake of breath from both men at the gesture. It was typical of Fi to fail to notice the effect she had on men, mostly because she hadn’t had any effect on them in the past.
“Ah,” she sighed. It felt good to have her hair free. It was so long that it grew heavy wound into the braid. “So,” she leaned over and rested her elbows casually on her knees, “the question is would you want to join our Family?”
“Tell me about your Family,” Asher said. “What would it mean to join?”
“Good question,” Fi nodded.
For the next few hours they sat and talked about the Family as nightfall crept over the garden. Fi explained the Consideration process and the Rules as well as describing her Family Members.
“Asher, I trust you enough to offer this because you went back to save Sean when I asked,” she explained. Nearby, Sean had settled into a fitful sleep on the ground. “So, I know that you have some integrity.” Making the case in her head as she went, Fi continued. “I also was impressed with your fighting prowess, obviously. The Family could really use another good fighter,” she said and then paused when she saw Asher’s expression. He looked amused. Fi blushed. She could tell that he realized that she’d meant she was the good fighter for her Family. She hoped that he couldn’t see her flush in the darkness.
“The question really is could you live by our Family rules?” This was a critical question. Keeping her gaze steady, her brown eyes searched his for understanding. Musing, he scratched his head with his good hand.
“You mean could I live with you being my Leader?” She nodded, her gaze open and serious.
“Think whatever you want, but it’s been my role for a year now and my Family trusts me. I can’t have any question about my authority or their safety.” Almost involuntarily, her head shook back and forth as she spoke. It came as a surprise to her when Asher smiled. Despite the darkness, she could see the curve of his mouth as it turned up at the corner.
“You know, I didn’t really like being the Leader. I don’t even really like to fight, I just happen to be well-trained.” He sighed, changing position on the uncomfortable brick floor. “I spent my last year trying to keep the lid on a violent group of thugs while defending them from other violent groups of thugs.” His voice was weary and he paused once more. “I think, all things considered, that I would be happy not to be the Leader anymore.”
As he said this Fi felt the truth in his voice. He examined her face, surrounded by its thick fall of curls. She held his gaze and lifted her chin. Of course he thinks I should be some sort of soft high school girl. But I’m not, she thought intently, hoping he could read her thoughts in her eyes.
“Tell me,” he asked her, his tone suddenly curious. “Don’t you want not to be the Leader anymore?” Fi was startled by the question, her eyes widening in surprise. No one had ever asked her that before. It hadn’t even occurred to her to think about not being the Leader. Her eyes narrowed in understanding as she searched his face. Asher understands the burden, she realized. Maybe even more so with the ‘family’ he’d had to deal with.
Before answering, Fi turned just to make sure Sean was sleeping. Hearing his mumbles as he dreamt, she turned back to Asher and nodded in the darkness, confused by her own honesty. Why did she keep this truth from the people she’d protected with her life,
but in one day she had come to trust this stranger enough to tell him? It was stupid, she thought. Or maybe she’d just been dying to admit it for so long.
“Yes, I want not to be the Leader,” she admitted. She rubbed her eyes and winced at the pain of her sore eye. “I mean, in the real world, I’m fifteen years old,” she admitted with a sideways glance at Asher to gauge his reaction.
She could see his surprise, but she was never sure if people thought she was younger and were surprised to find she was fifteen, or if they thought fifteen was too young. What she knew was that her age was actually irrelevant. She smiled a half-smile and tilted her head. She spoke in a mocking singsong way.
“But what I want is really neither here nor there, now is it?” She turned away and spread her sleeping bag out on the ground and got into it, taking care not to bump her sore rib. She rested with her hands on her chest in the most comfortable position for her aching side. She spoke into the night air. “So it’s settled then. You come with us.” She didn’t wait for his confirmation. She just assumed it. “As your new Leader,” she joked in a tired voice. “I order you to watch over us while we rest.”
Though he knew she was only teasing, Asher took her seriously, and moved to sit with his back to the open wall they had scaled.
“Ay, ay boss,” he quipped.
Fi wasn’t sure why she trusted this man. What if she woke up from sleep and he was gone? She wasn’t sure where they were in the City at this point. What if he’d led them into danger? Though her mind was filled with ‘what ifs’, soon enough her pain and exhaustion won and she closed her eyes and slipped into a restless sleep.
Passing Like Ghosts
Slipping Away
----------- Asher -----------
Asher’s head lolled forward and he woke again, startled. Blinking, he shook himself awake. Whew, he was beat. His arms were killing him and he kept falling asleep sitting up. Some sentry he was turning out to be on his first night’s duty, he thought with guilt. It was late at night, he thought, or early in the morning. It was impossible to tell now that the moon had set. Squinting, Asher peered into the darkness and saw Fi and Sean sleeping in little bundles on the ground. Nothing was stirring. All was well.
He sighed and shifted the blanket Fi had given him beneath his aching limbs. Pain rippled through his body in protest of his sitting up any longer. Though he was determined to stay awake, he moved to lie down by the wall. Suddenly he heard a noise and he bolted up again. It had sounded like a moan. His heart pounded as he listened, his senses buzzing and his hand hovering above the sword beside him.
“No,” he heard a voice murmur. “No, come back.” As he listened to the whisper, he realized it was Fi. His pounding heart started to slow down a bit as he relaxed. She made some more sounds, but he couldn’t tell what she was saying. She rolled over and then whimpered. Probably at the pain from her rib he thought with a frown. Should he wake her? It didn’t sound like she was having a very good dream. He closed his eyes wearily in recognition. The last time he’d slept well was beyond his memory now. Fi murmured again, her voice plaintive.
“Maggie,” she cried and rolled again. “Maggie,” she murmured several more times. Asher listened, holding his breath, but Fi seemed to settle. Seized by a feeling of protection, he took his position sitting up against the wall once again. He couldn’t slack tonight. No one had watched over this girl in a long time, he thought. Tonight she sleeps safely, if not in peace. Determined to stay awake, he squeezed his forearm and gasped at the sudden pain. Tears sprang to his eyes and adrenalin coursed through him, lighting him up. There was no chance he would doze off now, he thought as he settled in.
----------- Fi -----------
In the dim violet light of sunrise, Fi awoke with a start to Asher gently shaking her arm. She sat straight up and instantly regretted it as pain shot along her ribcage. “Agh,” she cried and clamped her mouth shut. Good morning, she thought with a cranky pout.
“It’s time,” Asher nodded toward the light in the sky. Sean was already up and setting his pack against the wall.
“Good morning Sleeping Beauty,” he joked. Though he was attempting to be humorous, she felt only pain when she looked at him. His face was just destroyed, she thought, her eyes skittering over the bruises and cuts. Her face didn’t feel too great either, she realized, so who knew what she looked like. At least Sean was good enough to be chipper though, she chided herself.
“Yeah, you should talk,” she fired back at him. She stretched carefully and stood up, putting her stuff away and hauling her pack up to the wall next to Sean’s. Though she was still exhausted, she was ready to get out of the City. “Ok Asher,” she said as she turned to him, “you lead the way,” and she gestured to the wall. Asher clambered up with a grunt and pulled each one of them to the top. When she jumped down, Fi’s feet hit the ground and she strapped on her pack.
“Follow me,” Asher commanded and Fi and Sean fell into line behind him and began their scurry out of the City. It felt strange to do it in daylight, she thought. Worried, her head swiveled as they passed from shadow to shadow, working their way toward the bridge. Fortunately, it was still so early that it was barely light outside. Once, Asher stopped them.
“Wait here,” he said and jogged away. For a split second Fi felt panicked and then she chastised herself. What kind of Leader was she? To break down and rely on someone else after a year of relying on yourself. As she was finishing this mental dressing down of herself, Asher reappeared.
“Ok,” he said. “We have to work our way a bit westward to avoid crossing through one territory,” he explained while Fi and Sean listened. He described the little detour and they nodded. It was kind of Asher to give them the information, Fi thought, so that they could make it on their own if they were separated. Interested, she realized that he was a natural Leader. She hadn’t spent any time with anyone else who’d done what she had. As they flitted from street to street, she realized that she couldn’t wait until they got to the point that they could talk again. As the blocks disappeared behind them, they weaved their way toward their goal. With Asher’s knowledge of the territories, the trio managed to avoid encountering any other gangs.
After two hours, they reached the damaged bridge out of the City. Fi pointed out the area where the broken struts allowed for a way to climb up.
“There,” she pointed. “This is how Sean and I got in.” Despite Fi’s confidence, she could tell that Asher had his doubts about this option. Of course, she thought, that was sensible. It was definitely going to be harder going up than it had been for them to come down. Still, she smiled to herself, this probably won’t be the last time he underestimates me. She cocked an eyebrow.
“Follow me,” she urged. She leapt and grabbed onto the broken strut above her. With the full weight of her pack hanging from her back, she took a deep breath and then swung her legs up and around the beam. Her thighs squeezed tight as she held on, still bearing the weight of her full pack. Then in one motion, she pulled with her arms and spun her body around the steel, until she was seated on top of the beam. From there, she pulled herself onto the train tracks above and then turned to wave them both up after her. Asher’s mouth hung open into a wide, silent ‘O’ and Fi bit back a laugh. The boys nodded and followed her lead and they made their way over the bridge and onto the mainland.
They jogged in silence, lost in their thoughts as they headed north toward the forest. Fi felt ready to put the City behind them, though the finality of it saddened her. It felt very official, like the City was truly gone now. Even the memories seemed to be fading away for her as they were replaced by the newest ones…ones with gangs and destruction and fear. She shook her head. It was better not to dwell. Just focus on running, Fi, she told herself. The pain of breathing alone should be enough distraction. That was the good thing about physical pain, she realized. It was very helpful for ignoring emotional pain.
For another hour they moved like soldiers in formation. Their footfalls
were light and their breathing even in the moist spring air. Because they were traveling in the daytime, it was essential that they make good ground to get out of the metropolitan areas. After a few hours they made it to true forest where they could risk whispering to one another.
“Let’s stop next time we see a good place to take a break,” Fi breathed. The boys grunted in agreement. When they came upon a cool pool of water surrounded by the cover of boulders, they stopped to rest. They drank water and nibbled their jerky. At least hard exercise killed your appetite, Fi thought. You didn’t want anything more than a nibble of jerky. Until you got home and found that you were starving, she thought ruefully. Her stomach gurgled as if it were listening.
“So Fi,” Asher said out of the blue. “Why do you call your mother ‘Maggie’ all the time?” Fi choked on her water, startled. Asher’s eyes widened and he quickly apologized, “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean anything by it.” He narrowed his eyes in confusion as her shoulders began shaking with laughter. She held her hand over her mouth so that she wouldn’t spit her water.
“It’s ok Ash,” she said.
Sean’s head spun around with surprise. If Fi had been paying attention, she would have seen the fury on his face, but she didn’t look his way.
“Gonna go relieve myself,” Sean said, pointing. Fi nodded but didn’t turn. She was smiling at Asher as Sean stomped off. She frowned for a moment as she looked over her shoulder at the noise. Why was Sean crashing around in the underbrush like a scared boar all of the sudden, she wondered? He disappeared. Oh well, she thought, maybe he’ll tell me what’s wrong with him later. She turned back to Asher whose expression was still hilariously confused.
“The reason I laughed at your question,” Fi explained, “is because that is a good observation, considering how long you’ve known me.” She laughed out loud and Asher joined her with a chuckle.
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