“Ok,” he said, confused.
“Well,” she stood and stretched her arms above her head and yawned. “I do call her Mama sometimes, when I speak to her. But we all call her Maggie because,” she paused, “she is Maggie.” She tried and failed to explain, her face slightly exasperated at the struggle. How could she possibly explain Maggie? “That doesn’t help you very much,” she admitted, turning to face him. Asher grinned and shook his head.
“Still a mystery,” he said, his palms up. Sean came striding back and Fi turned to him.
“Sean,” she waved him over. “Help me explain to Asher why we call Maggie by her first name instead of ‘mom’.” Though Sean’s face had appeared annoyed when he’d walked toward them, it softened instantly at Fi’s request. Sean grinned.
“Well,” he thought about it. “The reason that everyone calls Maggie ‘Maggie’,” he paused. “Is because she just is Maggie.” Asher and Fi both burst into laughter and Sean looked confused.
“You see Ash? That is exactly what I told him,” she explained to Sean while they both doubled over. Sean rolled his eyes.
----------- Asher -----------
“Oh God,” Asher clutched his stomach. “Oh, that is funny. You two know each other really well, that’s for sure,” he sniggered and looked up. Fi was still bent over with laughter, but Sean was just staring at them both. He looked annoyed again. Asher’s laughter slowed and he wiped the corners of his eyes. Of course this guy hates me, he thought. Could you blame him? He made a mental note to apologize to Sean personally when he got a private moment with him. It wouldn’t do to apologize with Fi there. He was certain that would embarrass Sean.
“I think I can explain it better while we walk,” Sean pulled on his pack. “Shall we go now?” he asked with aggravation. They agreed and gathered their things. “Walk or run?” Sean asked Fi.
“Walk, for now.” It was always a balancing act, moving quickly and conserving calories. So they walked and chatted. Sean started.
“Maggie isn’t your average woman,” he began while Fi nodded in agreement. “Because of our family’s connection with Fi’s, she’s been like a second mother to me. I think of her as Aunt Maggie…but I call her Maggie like everyone else. That’s because there really is no other way to describe her besides her name. Maggie is like a force of Nature like…like a loving Hurricane.”
“A loving Hurricane,” Fi murmured to herself. “That’s really nice Sean,” They were quiet for a moment. Asher noticed Sean touch Fi’s hand just for a second and then pull away. Then Fi picked up where Sean left off.
“Let me paint a picture of Maggie for you,” she began. Fi described her mother with the love that only a child can have. Asher could picture Fi’s mother bent over an illustration with her dark waves pulled into a topknot stuck through with various brushes, pens, and pencils.
“By day’s end,” Fi joked, “I always saw her as a crazed geisha, covered in paint spots and dotted with tools like a pincushion. The more things she had tucked into her hair, the more engrossed you knew that she was in the current project,” Fi explained. She shared the way Maggie took time each day to cook with Fi and her little sister Kiara, and how much Maggie had loved Mike, the way that they had looked at each other every day. Asher wasn’t sure how she made it through the stories with her father. It made his throat tighten just to hear it. Of course, he thought, that is probably because my father is gone too…at least, he might as well be. Asher sighed and turned his focus back to Fi’s stories.
Most of them were funny, but when she got to a story about her little brother Luke she choked up and stopped talking. For a moment, they all walked in silence then, the laughter stilled. In the brief silence, Asher mulled over this new information about Fi. He was starting to have a better understanding of this complex girl, part Leader and part child, deeply damaged and yet intensely kind, a crack shot and a gentle nursemaid. She is an enigma, he determined, shaped as much by her loving family as she was by this crazy life.
In time, Fi recovered herself. Her recovery was of equal interest to Asher. What kind of girl can just step into tragic memories and then back out of them at will? At least she focused on her funny stories again. She told one about the time her third grade teacher had called Maggie in to tell her that Fi was cheating. Asher raised an eyebrow. Fi didn’t seem like a cheater.
“Maggie took these things seriously,” Fi laughed. “So when she learned that the teacher actually meant that I had been dividing up the seat-work whenever it was assigned, she was not happy.” Sean chuckled. “Maggie sat back in the little kid’s chair where the teacher made her sit,” Fi said, “and she said to the teacher, ‘Did you tell them that they were not allowed to split up the workload?’” Fi imitated her mother’s protective, acerbic tone. Though he did not know Maggie, Sean’s laughter told Asher that Fi had her mother’s tone down pat.
“The teacher was really startled,” Fi continued. “She got all defensive saying stuff like, ‘That is hardly the point Mrs. Kelly’.” Sean laughed even harder, anticipating the coming punch line. “So Maggie gets quiet for one second and I’m telling you Asher, I was worried for that teacher. She said, ‘That is exactly the point if you ask me. If you think that I’m going to teach my daughter that teamwork, cooperation, and leadership are traits that are not valued, then you have another think coming.’” Fi laughed, joining Sean. “Maggie loves that phrase, ‘You have another think coming’,” she explained to Asher. “So Maggie stood up and grabbed my hand and said, ‘If you don’t want them to split the work, then just tell them that’ and she pulled me and we both walked out. I swear, that teacher’s mouth is probably still hanging open to this day.” All three laughed at this image as they walked together, their laughter floating in the air with the sounds of the forest.
Next it was Sean who had a story to share, recalling the time that Maggie had defended him against some older neighborhood bullies. Fi had told him that Sean was like her brother, that he’d been part of her life since she was born. But to see them like this, telling stories from when they were kids…it was moving. Asher had never had a brother or sister and he’d never felt like he’d missed anything really, until now. Focus, he reminded himself. Sean’s telling this story for me. Well, at Fi’s request. He was pretty sure Sean wouldn’t be saying anything to him if it weren’t for Fi. Sean’s voice grew warm as he told his story.
“Maggie showed up at the basketball courts and sat off to the side, watching,” he began. “She knew some bigger kids had been shoving me around and she came down when they tried to take my ball. Of course the kids gave me shit when they saw her coming,” he said. “Stuff like, ‘Got your mommy here to defend you?’ and other crap like that.” His voice sounded annoyed. “I remember thinking that they had made a big mistake. “I will never forget it, I said, ‘She’s not my mother, she’s Maggie’.” Fi choked, suppressing her laughter and Asher smiled. These two definitely get a kick out of Maggie. He tilted his head as he considered Fi. Maybe he was starting to understand where her fire originated.
“A protective Maggie is a dangerous thing,” Sean explained to Asher. “Plus, these guys didn’t know that Maggie had played starting shooting guard for her high school team. She baited them with a deal, ‘Game to 21, Best of three, Winner keeps the ball.’” Sean laughed. “It was genius. They looked stupid if they played and then lost, and they looked stupid if they refused to play. I mean all the kids were watching at this point,” he added.
Asher was intrigued. “So I’m guessing you won then?”
“She won really,” Sean admitted. “She was so good that the big kid actually shook my hand at the end, when he handed me back my ball. The kid goes, ‘I don’t know who she is to you man, but she’s a good player’.” Sean sighed. “It was the moment I fell completely in love with Maggie,” Sean murmured and shook his head. “Everybody does you know,” he said, peering sideways at Fi, concern on his face. Her eyes shone a bit with the initial warning of tears. “Just wait
until you meet her,” he said to Asher. “You’ll see.” He and Fi exchanged one more glance and she nodded.
The constant glances between Fi and Sean had not escaped Asher’s notice, though he wondered why Sean seemed so concerned when he talked about Maggie. He couldn’t tell if Sean was concerned for Fi…or for Maggie? Regardless, their love for one another was apparent in every gesture and statement, as was their deep knowledge. It was the type of love that came from a lifetime of connection. It was the type of love that would lead a person to put herself at risk of being killed…Asher eyed Fi curiously.
Still, he thought, sometimes he felt like he saw something else there, in the way that Sean studied Fi when she wasn’t looking. Something well…un-brotherly. Not that he blamed him. How could you not study this intriguing little redhead, he wondered? Watching her small form striding beside him, her gaze and energy surging forward, he found her to be…rather fascinating. Sudden recognition clicked in his mind and he sighed. Oh, he realized, there are two good reasons why he hates me.
The Lyrids
----------- Fi -----------
At sunset, they settled into a beautiful clearing in the forest to rest. They were still days from Home. As night fell their fire dwindled, leaving only a dim glow in the air. It was nice being far enough out to use a fire again, Fi thought, lying awake. The pain in her side made it difficult to sleep, not that she usually did anyway. A few feet away Sean lay snoring, his arm tucked beneath his head as a pillow.
Fi stared up at the patch of night sky visible above her in the clearing. There was no word to describe the beauty of the night in the new world, she thought. A few times her father had taken her on trips to get away from the lights of the City. Once she had even seen a little bit of the Milky Way. Now she lay dazzled by the brilliance above her as clear, winding wisps of galaxy blazed. Even orphaned satellites could be seen, tiny abandoned pinpoints drifting across the sky. It was difficult to balance the sensations of pleasure and pain. The Milky Way glowed against the ebony sky because the City’s light had been extinguished. Still, she couldn’t help feeling lifted by the beauty of all those millions of stars. Above her, a tiny streak of light coursed across the sky.
“Oh,” she breathed. “‘Shooting star…make a wish.” Though it felt childish, she made a wish as another tiny streak lit up the corner of the sky. Before it burned out, there was another and then another. As the shower intensified, her mind turned to the time of year. Of course, she realized. It was late April again. Watching the annual showers had been her favorite father-daughter activity. Her eyes filled up as her chest tightened. How she wished her father were still with her, with her family. Maggie had been sick for so long that Fi couldn’t remember the last time she felt like the child instead of the parent. The light show above her continued and several larger meteorites left streaks the size of pencil erasers. She sucked in her breath and then laughed, the sound soft as a whisper.
“That one is for you Papa,” she said as tears spilled over and ran down the side of her face. Asher stirred to her right. She could feel him roll toward her.
“Do you know much about meteor showers Fi?” The distraction was welcome as Fi took a deep shuddering breath and quelled her tears.
“Yes,” she replied, “I do.”
“Does this one have a name?”
“Yes, it does. This is the Lyrid shower. Papa and I used to watch this one every year, as best we could anyway. The sky didn’t used to be,” she paused, “so dark.” She was quiet again for a second, watching the streaks whirl past above her. “Papa would have loved to see it like this.”
“It’s nice that you used to watch the stars with your dad,” Asher reflected. “So you were close to him?” Fi wasn’t sure why Asher wanted to know about her or her mother or her father, but she figured they had to pass the time. Plus, she felt sort of happy talking about her father, telling someone else how cool he was. Seizing the opportunity, she sat up and turned toward Asher. She rearranged herself into her characteristic cross-legged position. He sat up and faced her, his face open and interested. For a moment his gaze made her uncomfortable and she turned away and stirred the fire pit. A few sparks flew and popped and she took a deep breath, brushing her hand through her hair. With her eyes cast toward the ground, she spoke.
“I was Daddy’s Little Girl, Asher…” she shook her head. “Daddy’s Little Girl.” Repeating it made it easier to say it aloud, she realized. “To tell you how great a dad he was…my sister Kiara was also Daddy’s Little Girl and of course, Maggie was Daddy’s Best Girl, and he had more than enough love to go around for all of us.” Asher dropped his gaze, embarrassed by the rawness of her loss.
“What happened to him, exactly?”
“Exactly?” She sighed. “Well today we’d say he died of the Sickness, but back then we actually still bothered giving it specific names. The name of his Sickness was aggressive pancreatic cancer. In other words, ‘Sorry, but you’re totally screwed,’” she choked. The memory of his thin, sickly frame, particularly his thin hands, flashed in her mind. He had always had such neat, orderly, almost pretty, hands and feet. That gnarled claw at the end, she thought, that wasn’t my Papa. She sucked in hard and pushed the feeling back down. Asher’s face was kind.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Dammit, she thought as the tears burned a path down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and sniffed. Great, now she was all snotty. That’s pretty. Though why the hell I would care, I don’t know, she thought, irritated. She didn’t have to impress this guy. Still, his compassion touched her. She didn’t often get to be vulnerable anymore. It was kind of nice. Laughing off her tears, Fi shook her head.
“I actually meant to tell you happy things. There really were so many.” Memories flooded her mind, competing for her attention, and she smiled. “He would take me to the zoo, to the museums, to outdoor nature activities. Everything to do with nature and animals was right up my alley and he would take me and talk to me like I was an adult…like I was smart and was actually good company.” It was funny now, she thought, the way he took her seriously even when she was a little thing like Kiara.
She continued. “Once we got to do a ‘backstage tour’ at the elephant exhibit at the zoo. I got to touch elephants myself and stroke their trunks. It was so cool. They have these hairs that stick out of their trunks that feel just like the plastic wires in a hairbrush. It was crazy.” Asher’s face bore a warm smile as he listened. She paused.
“That seems like a million years ago,” her voice flattened as her eyes turned toward the ground, lost in thought about elephants. Then a new thought drifted into her mind and she half-snorted, the sound surprising Asher.
“Do you ever think about the zoo animals?” she mused. “I do sometimes. In the movies when the world blows up they always show the zoo animals roaming around. I almost expected to see polar bears in New York when we went there.” She trailed off, suddenly pensive. “I wonder if they starved,” she murmured. As a matter of fact, she did wonder what had happened to them all. Asher laughed and she shot him a confused look.
“After all you’ve been through you’re worried about the polar bears in the City.” He tilted his head, peering at her in the dim light. “You know, that compassion is actually what makes you a skilled fighter,” he began and Fi felt herself blush, embarrassed at the compliment. She ducked her head.
“I saw you,” he said, “you always parried rather than attacked, given the choice. I see that your strategy is to lock them up or wear them down,” he continued his analysis. “Always avoiding the violence, the kill.” He paused, and Fi bit her lip. “Yet you can kill if you must,” he nodded toward Sean, “to save your Family.” Fi felt uncomfortable, the critique made her feel shy and guilty at the same time. Asher inclined his head toward her in small bow. “I’m honored to have fought with you.” Fi was shocked.
“But you had to save me,” her voice rose in protest. “You had to save both of us!” He l
aughed.
“Well I’ve been training for this fight all my life,” he said, patting the sword lying beside him. “I’m assuming you have had less than a year.” Fi nodded, unsure exactly why she was telling Asher so much about herself.
“Besides,” he teased, “I’m pretty sure you’d have had Sid’s number even if I hadn’t come along, am I right?” He held his right hand up for a high-five and she grudgingly reached her hand out and slapped his.
“Oh yeah,” he said and Fi started to laugh out loud and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. She glanced over at Sean, but he was still snoring. “Seriously,” Asher whispered, “You are pretty badass. It’s a good thing you’re little or I would be afraid of you.” She blushed again, feeling pleased and confused at the same time. Why was she blushing every five minutes? Fi bowed her own head.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
“You know,” Asher said, his voice growing thoughtful. “It’s really cool that you were close to your dad.” A sad expression crossed his face and Fi felt her heart flutter in echo. Where was Asher’s father? She wasn’t sure exactly how old he was but he couldn’t be much older than her. Why didn’t he have any family? She tilted her head to listen.
----------- Asher -----------
“In some ways my dad and I were close and in some ways we were world’s apart,” he began. His heart tugged with the knowledge that he hadn’t told a single living soul a thing about his parents since the Famine. He picked at some pebbles on the ground while he spoke. “My father was a very accomplished instructor of Tai Chi, which is why I’m trained in fighting. I started training as soon as I was old enough to stand, just about.”
Wondering if Fi was bored with his story, he raised his eyes and was startled for a moment by her face. The dim firelight glowed in her dark eyes, their intense gaze locked on his. Her hair fell around her face and shoulders in a cascade. As his eyes searched her face, she nodded and bit her lip. Jesus, he thought, she thinks I’m pausing because I need encouragement. He sucked in his breath and looked down again, breaking her gaze. Well, he thought, maybe I do. With his gaze cast downward, he continued.
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