Eden's Root

by Rachel Fisher

  “It was November,” she began, “and Sean and I were on a raid.” Her mind raced back to that night and the story poured out of her. How she hated the memory…

  Fi and Sean ambled down the road in the darkness. They had not seen other people in so long that they were growing casual. Speaking too loudly, walking in the middle of the road. It was lucky that they did not get ambushed, she’d thought later. They were talking and joking with one another to pass the time, when the cold night air was ripped apart by a woman’s agonized screams. They both froze and dashed off the road into the sanctuary of the dark trees.

  “Where is that coming from?” Fi asked, cocking her head. The screams continued. They could hear the woman begging someone else to ‘Stop’. The sound was horrifying. Fi covered her ears for ten seconds and squeezed her eyes shut, but she could still hear. Someone needed help. She gulped fresh air and shivered off her fear, her decision made.

  “Hey,” she turned to a ghost-white Sean. “Let’s go.” She nodded toward the sound and he murmured in agreement. They had gotten so used to moving in darkness, that she knew he saw her. It was also clear that he knew her intent. In silence they made their way toward the screaming.

  After a minute of picking through the woods, they came upon a road. Fi and Sean drew their guns and crouched, moving across the road and behind the hedge on the other side. Over the hedge, they both could see the source of the screams. Fi felt her stomach lurch and she gagged while Sean stiffened beside her. Instinct made her want to look away, but she needed to assess the situation. She steeled herself and watched.

  There were four of them. One of them was on top of the woman who was screaming, pinning her to the ground. The other three were holding an old man and a young boy face down. Cheers and laughter from the other attackers spurred the rapist on while his victim wailed and wept beneath him. As Fi watched, the old man yelled in protest, but his captor silenced him with a rifle butt to the head. Fi knew that Sean saw what she did, only one of the attackers had a gun, and all appeared to be drunk. They crouched down again and turned to each other.

  “We have to help them,” Fi whispered and Sean nodded.

  “Here’s the plan,” he suggested. “I know you want to go in, because you always do. Just go in fast with your weapon ready. You have the advantage of surprise and of being covered.”

  Nodding, Fi felt gratitude that Sean had worked so hard to improve his skill with the Glock. Otherwise they couldn’t do this. They would have had to just leave this poor woman. Fi took a deep breath. In the yard, the woman’s screams had subsided into haunting moans. Fi jumped up and ran toward the scene, her gun drawn.

  “Get the hell off of her, you pig!” she yelled, her stride strong as she approached. Everyone turned in surprise. The rapist leapt up off his victim, who scuttled away backward on all fours toward the wall of her house. There, a small girl stood cowering in the dark and the two clutched at each other, eyes wide, tears dried on their dusty cheeks. The rapist stood with his pants around his ankles. He smirked at Fi and put his hands up. Her teeth chattered with rage.

  “S’ok little lady,” he said. “There’s enough to go around.” As he said this, he slid his hand between his legs and she fired. A blue-black dot appeared on the rapist’s head and he crumpled where he’d stood. She inhaled in shock and almost dropped her weapon. You just killed him, her mind raced. Killed him. He’s dead.

  Protests arose from the rapist’s friends as their faces twisted in anger and fear.

  “Holy shit! You bitch!”

  “What the hell is going on?”

  Their cries made her mind snap back and she straightened her aim. Her stomach tightened with resolve as she realized that she not only killed the rapist…she hadn’t even hesitated. Unfazed, she pointed her weapon at the remaining men.

  “Drop your weapons and get on your bellies now or you pigs are dead too.” Her voice was ice cold and her hands steady. The men let go of the old man and the boy as well as the rifle, and slammed themselves to the ground.

  “Mama!” the boy yelled and ran to the woman and girl cowering by the house.

  “You!” Fi said to the old man. “Grab the gun.” He nodded and picked the rifle up shakily, tossing it aside. Fi rolled her eyes. She meant use it for goodness’ sakes. “Can you use a firearm?” He nodded, the terror still bright in his eyes.

  “Yes Ma’am.”

  “Good,” she said calmly. “Then take this,” she handed him her gun. “Keep it on them, ok?” He nodded.

  “C’mon Sean,” she called into the darkness. The entire group gasped when Sean came out from behind the hedge, gun drawn and ready. “Sean, help him cover these guys.”

  “You got it Fi,” he growled, his voice thick. There was no need to discuss it. Fi knew that for both of them this was bad, really bad. Neither of them had ever seen anything like this in their lives.

  “Thank you,” she told him. Fi turned toward the woman and her children and realized as she walked toward them that her energy was still too amped up. They cowered as she approached, and it hit her that to them she was a stranger, and a killer. Shivering, she softened her walk and approached gently, bending down when she drew near.

  “Hello?” she said to the shuddering woman. “Are you ok?” The woman nodded, her ebony hair falling across her face. Despite the bruises, Fi could see that she was beautiful.

  “M’ok.” A split lip garbled the woman’s words. Fi’s stomach burned.

  “Are the children ok?”

  “Yes, thanks to you.” The woman reached to touch Fi’s hand with her fingertips and Fi shook her head in frustration.

  “I’m sorry we weren’t here sooner.” Regret filled her eyes with angry tears. Brushing them away, Fi leaned in closer. Very quietly, so that only the woman could hear, she admitted, “I have no experience with what just happened here. I’ve never even seen this before.” She paused. “So the way I see it, what happens to the rest of these pigs is your call. I will give you my weapon if you’d like. You just let me know.” For a moment the woman rocked in silence, her eyes closed, her arms around her children. Fi and Sean waited. After several minutes, she spoke.

  “I want the gun.” There was no emotion on her face. She released her children and told them to turn around and face the wall. They whimpered, but did what she asked when she assured them that everything was going to be ok. She stood and took Fi’s hand. Fi could feel her trembling and she squeezed gently. She walked the woman to the three remaining men and asked the old man to hand over her gun. Fi showed her how to use it, including how to steady her shot.

  “Trust me,” Fi murmured. “From this close you won’t miss.” The woman nodded. “Alright pigs,” Fi spat. “Stand in a row with your hands behind your head. No choice here, if you don’t obey, you will definitely be killed.” This was a simple fact at this point, she thought. No point in sugarcoating it. The men got to their feet as instructed. Fi could feel the fear streaming off of them and it made her sick. NOW they were scared, she thought. Screw them. Fi stood next to the woman.

  “I’m sorry, I should have asked this before. What is your name Ma’am?”

  “Phuong,” she responded. “I’m ready now.” Her voice shook, but Fi could sense her resolve. Phuong raised the gun at the cowering men. A minute ticked by while she held her aim, not doing anything, just waiting. Then without warning, she fired. Three shots rang out, punctuated by three howls of pain. All three men fell to the ground in agony. Phuong handed Fi the gun. “I’m not a killer,” she said, her tone resigned. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as she walked back to her children and gathered them into her arms.

  Fi approached the injured men and realized with horror that Phuong had shot each one directly in the groin. It was obvious that they were going to die of their injuries anyway, the wounds bled freely and were extremely serious, but Fi saw the woman’s point. It was up to her now, Fi knew, to do the compassionate thing. Just pretend it’s a deer, she told herself, and you misse
d your mark. Make it quick. Nauseated, she put three quick rounds into three heads, silencing their moans. Standing over the bodies, she felt the weight of it settle into her bones. It was official. She was a killer now. Fleetingly she thought of her father. I’m not sure if you would be proud or disappointed in me Papa, she thought, exhausted. I still haven’t decided myself.

  Dazed, she walked back to Sean. “It’s time to go.” His eyes were wide and he nodded. He knew that Fi had never killed before. Over Sean’s shoulder, Fi saw that the old man had walked to comfort the woman, and he held the rifle. “You sir,” Fi said on their way past, “do you have actual ammo for that rifle?”

  “Yes ma’am,” he said. “We also have two other people with us, but they are out searching for more food. These men caught me when I was…indisposed.” There was no mistaking the guilt and embarrassment in his voice, but that was too bad. They had to get a clue about the new world and they had to do it now. Fi’s gaze was serious.

  “Well I recommend that you teach every member of your group how to use a gun so you never have to be the sole sentry,” she scolded him. “I know that these are just women and children, but that is the way of the world now. You can’t leave your home unguarded for a second.” The man nodded in silent chagrin. “You’re all alive, and that’s what is important. Good luck to you all.”

  Articulating this lesson to the other family raised Fi’s urgency to get back to her own. Without speaking Fi passed Sean, moving toward the forest.

  “Fi,” he murmured and she turned. His face was twisted as if he felt conflicted. “Do you think we should take them,” he looked back. “You know, to our Family?” Fi felt her heart sink. Another four right there and who knows how many away in the forest. Why did they have to make these kinds of choices, she thought, feeling exhausted. She shook her head sadly. “Too many,” was all she said and he nodded.

  ----------- Sean -----------

  With his head in his hands, Sean felt his heart break with every word. What the hell was wrong with me, he thought, enraged at himself and at Asher. She should never have had to tell anyone this, especially Maggie. It’s not the same thing!

  But no matter how he tried to feel differently, he knew that she was right. It was the same thing. If Asher was a killer, well then, so was Fi. Tears welled in his eyes and dripped onto the dirt floor. Normally he would have been embarrassed, but he was too upset to care. This was his fault, his doing. His jealousy and anger at Asher forced this out of her. All he’d wanted was to make Asher pay, but it was Fi who’d paid instead. He felt like he was going to be sick, almost, but not quite as bad as he’d felt that night.

  He’d never felt anything like the way he did that night. When Fi turned away and jogged for the forest, her voice ripped him open, just like it did now. At the time all he could think was, ‘This is bad. This is really bad.’ Fi had never killed anyone before, he knew. She’d told him all her stories and though he knew that she’d shot at people, she’d never killed anyone.

  Though her expression had been hidden in the darkness, he could hear the pain in her voice. It messed her up. And of course it did, he thought. Who wouldn’t be messed up? If he thought about it, watching her kill someone else was pretty damned messed up to him. That night as they jogged in silence into the forest, he’d tried to stop replaying the image of her pulling that trigger, without success. He’d felt sick and lightheaded and confused all at once. Who knew what she’d felt?

  It was a two-day hike back to their Home, but Fi did not speak another word the entire trip. Not one single word. She was the most talkative person he’d ever known in his life and she went forty-eight hours without saying a word. Not, ‘Let’s stop here for the night’. Not ‘At least it’s a nice day’. Nothing. He spoke to her and she nodded or shook her head. He could feel the weight of her action weighing her down as surely as their packs, but silence was all she could handle and at the time, he didn’t push her. They’d made their way back together with their heads down.

  But when they’d arrived back at the border of their Home and Doc Ron greeted them, Fi had smiled and wrapped him into a big hug. It was astounding, Sean had thought at the time, watching her in fascination as she’d chatted with Doc, her voice warm and her face friendly. For two days she’d been the most somber that Sean had ever seen her and then, just like that, she’d flipped the switch.

  In that moment he’d realized that he had no idea whether he’d heard all her stories or not. It was obvious how little he really knew about the trials she had endured as their Leader. Some things she obviously kept to herself, locked inside. And he knew that this would be one of them. Though they never discussed it, he knew that neither of them would ever speak about what happened. And they never had.

  Until now. Dammit.

  End Game

  ----------- Asher -----------

  As he sat on the couch in the farmhouse living room, Asher tried to enjoy his first day with his new Family. Fi’s revelation was all it had taken for the Family to accept him, but Asher still felt guilty about it. He knew that she would never have had to tell that horrible story to her mother if it hadn’t been for what happened between him and Sean.

  He bit his lip as Maggie chatted with him and tried to concentrate on her. Sean had been absolutely right about Fi’s mother. It took less than five minutes of talking with her to decide that he loved her. She was compassionate and kind and fiercely loving. He could tell that she, of all the Family, had forgiven him completely. Well, she and her daughter. Meeting Maggie and Kiara helped him to understand Fi even better. In a Family this tight you would do anything…anything to save each other. And by some miracle, he’d been given the gift of being one of her Family. No matter what, he knew, he’d endeavor to deserve it.

  Sean and his parents were keeping their distance, though Lucy was kind enough to be quite civil. Asher could tell that it would take a lot longer for John and Sean to accept him. At least to accept him without being allowed to punch him in the face first. Hmmm, Asher thought, maybe I should just let Sean take a few whacks at me. Just then Fi approached with a smile and he felt himself break into a silly grin.

  “Mama,” Fi said to her mother. “I have to take him away from you for a bit now.” She turned to Asher. “Come with me,” she entreated him and Maggie chuckled and patted him on the hand.

  “Go on,” Maggie smiled at him, her startling violet eyes crinkling up. “One thing we get lots of in this Family is time to talk.” Asher nodded and followed Fi who led him outside.

  “So what’s up Fi?” he asked eagerly. “Are you going to assign my chores?” It was an honest question. They all had chores and he still hadn’t been assigned his. She grinned and shook her head.

  “I was thinking that we should go for a run,” she suggested and he raised an eyebrow. A run, he thought? Wasn’t that a waste of calories? Well, what the heck. It could be fun. He hadn’t gone for a good run since before the Famine.

  “Sure,” he smiled.

  With a laugh she whirled and just…took off. Her braid flew behind her as Asher stood, stunned. He leapt after her, sprinting, his mind a whirl of shock and amusement. He strained to catch up, but she still had distance on him. Jesus, he thought and kicked harder. She is flying. They tore through the forest, dodging trees and hurdling boulders, Fi’s laughter leading the way. At full speed, they hit a stream and she downshifted in an instant, leaping and alighting on a boulder without a sound. Asher gaped at her and followed, landing with a tired, heavy thud. She was like a forest nymph or something, he thought with a tiny bit of jealousy. It was the advantage of the small, he mused, to be so light that you float rather than run.

  “Damn, Fi,” he gulped with his hands on his knees. “You’re so freaking quick!” He was impressed. “No wonder your Sensei didn’t bother with teaching you weaponry.” Still breathing heavily, he flopped to the ground and lay flat on his back as he looked up at the sky. “He definitely focused on your strengths.”

  “No way!”
she disputed, shaking her head while she sucked wind. “I’m so slow with the forms you’ve taught me,” she said. He sat up on one elbow with an amused expression, his blonde braid hanging with leaves stuck in it.

  “You just started those Fi. I’ve been studying them my whole life and you make me feel slow,” he smiled.

  “Don’t you just love it though?” she mused, turning back to look up at the sky. He frowned, confused. “Pushing yourself to the limit, I mean,” she explained, turning her head away in sudden embarrassment. Asher could see the blush on her neck and ears. How she hated being vulnerable, he thought as his breathing steadied. Fi sat up and arranged herself in a cross-legged position, pulling leaves from her own hair.

  “Hey,” she said. Asher sat up as well, on his knees in meditation posture. For some reason as he settled, she gave him an annoyed look. She’s so quirky, he thought. Who knows what is going on behind those eyes when she gives me that look?

  “Well, there is a reason I ran us both a mile away,” she said. The smile on her face was mysterious. Asher felt himself start to blush and he frowned, irritated. Fi continued. “There is still one more really important thing to tell you about, now that you’re a Member of the Family.” Her tone was teasing.

  “On probation,” he reminded her.

  “True, you are a brand new, baby Member,” her head nodded, imperious. He threw a twig at her and she laughed, fending it off. Then her face grew serious, “But this will be important to you since you know about the Sickfood.” His brow knitted in confusion. What about Sickfood? Fi took a deep breath.