Forbidden Awakenings (Awakenings Series Book 1)

by Lisa Bilbrey

  “Sounds great.”

  Felicia spared Elle a smile before she followed Lydia out of the kitchen. Elle released a deep breath and leaned against the counter. This was going to be much harder than she thought.

  Five minutes later, dinner was ready so she picked up the platter of chicken and the bowl of rice and made her way into the dining room, bypassing the living room.

  “Callum, Derek, get off your asses and help Elle bring dinner to the table,” Lydia scolded, reaching over and grabbing the wine glasses from their hands.

  “Mom!” Callum whined when a bit of the wine sloshed out of his glass and dribbled on his hand.

  “It’s okay, I’ve got it.” Elle insisted, before turning and walking back into the kitchen. She picked up the bowl of salad and the basket of bread, and then headed into the living room. “Um, dinner’s ready, so …”

  “Of course. Thank you, sweetheart,” Lydia cheered, standing up and offering Samuel her hand.

  Derek sat at the end of the table with Sadie and Elle on either side of him, and Callum to Elle’s left, while Samuel sat next to Callum, and Lydia next to him. Carlos sat at the other end of the table, Felicia sat to his left, and Lucia next to her mother. Once they were seated, they filled their plates and made sure their glasses were topped off, and began to eat while making idle chit-chat about nothing of importance.

  Elle could feel the tension rolling off her lovers, Lydia, and Samuel, and she wasn’t sure how to make it better. Losing another set of parents would be devastating, especially to Derek. He’d been the strongest one out of all of them, the heart of their relationship, and having to give up his family for them would be gut-wrenching.

  “Elle, that was delicious,” Felicia groaned, laying her napkin over her plate and leaning back in her chair. “You added a little something to the chicken, didn’t you? Other than the teriyaki, I mean.”

  She smiled and nodded. “I marinated the chicken in a mixture consisting of lemon juice, curry, and olive oil. Gives it a little more zang.”

  “It was good,” Carlos said. “Reminded me of my momma’s cooking.”

  “Oh, well, thank you.” She felt her cheeks turning bright red, and she could feel Derek, Callum, and Sadie watching her. Clearing her throat, she picked up her wine glass, draining the last of it. “I, um, I have cake, if anyone wants a slice.”

  “Ugh, I’m stuffed,” Lucia grumbled, patting her stomach. “I haven’t eaten that much in … Well, since last Christmas.”

  “Not even on Thanksgiving?” Sadie asked.

  Lucia frowned. “No, I had to work Thanksgiving, so it was just a frozen T.V. dinner for me.”

  “Oh.” Sadie shifted her eyes over to Derek, and Elle knew that she was hoping that he’d change the subject.

  “Ma, Pop, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” Derek mumbled, and Elle resisted the urge to take hold of his hand.

  “Is everything all right, son?” Carlos asked, worry creasing his brow.

  “Yeah … I mean, yes, of course.” Derek paused and took a deep breath. “It’s just with you, Ma, and Lucia staying with us for a few days, I think you should know that, um … that Elle and Sadie live here, too. With … with me and Callum.”

  Carlos and Felicia shared a look before turning back to him.

  “Okay,” Carlos said. “Is that why you’ve been so nervous?”

  “Yes,” he replied, but before they could say anything else, he added, “And no.”

  “There’s more?” Felicia prompted.

  Derek nodded, placing his hand on the table. Elle couldn’t stop herself from reaching over and sliding her fingers over his, causing him to look over at her and smile.

  “Ma, Pop, I know I told you that Callum and I were seeing Sadie and Elle, but we’re … they’re …” he blew out a heavy breath.

  “We’re together,” Sadie said, causing everyone to look at her. She covered Derek and Elle’s hands with her own as she turned in her seat and looked at Carlos and Felicia. “The four of us — we’re together.”

  Carlos leaned back in his chair and folded his arms in front of him. “Together?”

  The four of them nodded, all while Lydia, Samuel, and Lucia were looking between all of them.

  “Like … together-together?” he asked.

  “Yes, Pop. Like together-together,” Derek replied. “I know this is a shock, but I have to be honest with myself. For too long I’ve hidden my feelings for Callum because I was afraid that he’d reject me, or that … that you’d be angry if you knew how I felt about him,” he added.

  Elle expected his father to react, but he simply sat there, staring at his son.

  “So you and Callum are … boyfriends?” Felicia asked.

  Derek smiled and nodded. “He’s the one and only man I’ve ever loved.”

  “And you’re also with Sadie and Elle?” she pressed.

  “Yes, Ma. The four of us are together in every way.”

  She pressed her lips together and turned toward her husband, who was still sitting there staring at his son. “Honey, say something.”

  “I think it’s awesome!” Lucia laughed and leaned toward Sadie. “Got any friends for me?”

  “Um, no,” she said, shaking her head. “Well, one set, but they’re kind of … complicated,” she added, referring to Thomas, Leigh, and Tyson.

  The three of them had agreed to start seeing each other, but had set some strict rules. Such as that Thomas and Tyson couldn’t be together without Leigh being there. Elle knew they were still struggling to get a handle on their new relationship, especially with Tyson in graduate school and trying to find a job that would work around his class schedule.

  “Damn it, that’s not fair!” the younger woman whined.

  “Lucia Flores, this is not the time!” Felicia quipped.

  “Sorry, Ma,” she muttered, but winked at Derek, who shook his head and smiled.

  “Are you happy?” Carlos asked.

  Snapping his attention to his father, Derek took a deep breath before saying, “Happiest I’ve ever been. They’re … they’re everything to me. I love them so much.”

  “And you’re committed? Serious about one another? This isn’t just a bit of fun, is it?” Carlos pressed.

  “Yes, Pop, this is … Well, forever.”

  Carlos nodded and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and pressing he mouth against the side of his fisted hands. His eyes shifted to Sadie first, then to Elle, and finally on to Callum before coming back to rest on Derek.

  “Okay,” he said, leaning back in his chair.

  “What?” Derek whispered, his voice low and thick with emotions.

  Carlos smiled. “I said okay. If you’re happy, and you’re sure this,” he gestured toward Callum, Sadie, and Elle, “is who your future is with, then your mother and I support you one-hundred percent.”

  Derek brought one hand up to his mouth, muffling a sob. Tears flooded Elle’s eyes, because while she was thrilled they’d have the support and acceptance of his mother and father, hers still refused to speak to her.

  “Excuse me,” she whimpered, pushing her chair away from the table and standing up.

  Somehow she managed to keep them from falling until she reached the kitchen, but slumping against the refrigerator, she broke down, and allowed the grief inside her heart to flow.

  “Elle.” At the sound of Derek’s voice, she attempted to wipe the moisture off her cheeks and turned to face him. “Oh, beautiful.”

  “I’m fine,” she lied. “Just thought I’d get the cake. Maybe make some coffee. Do your parents like coffee? Fuck, I should have gotten some tea, or I don’t know. Some hot chocolate?”

  “Elle, stop,” he said, walking over and placing his hands on either side of her face. “It’s okay to be sad.”

  “Why would I be sad?” she asked, trying to pull her face from between his hands, but he held her tight. “I’m fine. I promise.”

  “No, you’re not,” he murmured, leaning i
n and pressing his lips against hers. “You know I couldn’t have gotten through tonight without you, don’t you?”

  Biting her lip, she shook her head.

  “Oh, beautiful,” he moaned. “Without you holding my hand, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them. You, Sadie, Callum — you’re my strength, and we’re yours, so when I say it’s okay to be sad that your parents aren’t sitting at our table, too, I mean it.”

  “But tonight was supposed to be about you,” she groused.

  “No, it’s about us. Everything is about us,” he whispered.

  “I love you.” She smiled. “You’re so amazing.”

  “I love you more,” he growled before kissing her again.

  “Nope,” she laughed, pulling away from him. “Nobody will ever love you more than I do.”

  “I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree about that one, beautiful,” he tittered. “Now, are you ready to go back out there?”

  Though she wasn’t sure, Elle found herself agreeing. With the cake and a stack of plates in their hands, they rejoined their family in the dining room. Callum and Sadie were immediately on their feet, but with a soft shake of her head, she told them now wasn’t the time. Right now, in this moment, they needed to be grateful for the family surrounding them, the ones who had seen they were happy and accepted them as they were.

  Twenty-five

  Elle detangled herself from the arms of her lovers early the next morning and made her way downstairs. With the exception of the Christmas tree that was perched up in front of the large front window, the house was dark. They’d bought the tree two weeks ago; it was the first time Elle had ever had a real Christmas tree. Her mother hated the mess and fuss that came with freshly cut trees, and refused to let them have one, even when both Elle and Ivy begged her.

  Helina Reid hated a lot of things, and her youngest daughter seemed to be at the top of the list. A sadness filled Elle’s heart. This would be the first Christmas she didn’t see her parents, and it hurt more than she thought it would.

  Sighing, she walked into the kitchen, but stopped when she saw Felicia sitting at the table with a pan of cinnamon rolls in front of her. Based on the ingredients on the table, they were homemade.

  “Oh, I didn’t know you were up,” Elle murmured, grabbing the front of her robe and pulling it tighter. She’d slept in one of Callum’s T-shirts from high school and a pair of Derek’s boxer briefs. There was something about her and Sadie wearing their clothes that made them wild with lust, something they exploited every chance they got. But with his parents and sister staying with them, she couldn’t exactly jump either of them.

  Felicia laughed. “I’m not much of a sleeper. I’ve had horrible insomnia since Derek and Lucia were infants. Most nights I don’t sleep more than a couple hours before I find myself wide awake, so I cook. Carlos says it’s because I worried about them too much when they were babies, and I’ve cursed myself.”

  “I don’t sleep much, either,” Elle admitted, walking over to the coffee pot and pressing the start button. She’d prepped it last night, but since she hadn’t planned on being up for another couple hours, the timer hadn’t kicked in yet. “Would you like a cup?”

  “Yes, please. I would have started it myself, but I wasn’t sure how to work your machine. It’s much fancier than mine.” Felicia stood up and grabbed the cookie sheet off the table. “Open the oven for me?”

  “Sure.” Elle pulled the door down, turning away as a gust of heat wafted from inside. “Gets me every time.”

  “Me, too.” Felicia laughed as she walked over and slid the pan inside. “Shouldn’t take too long.”

  Elle wasn’t sure what to say so she closed the oven door and turned back to the cabinet, pulling out two coffee cups.

  “You’re the quiet one, aren’t you?”

  “Excuse me?” Elle asked, turning back to face her.

  “Between you and Sadie: you’re the quiet one,” she explained.

  “Um, I don’t know,” she said. “Never really thought about it, I guess.”

  “I have a theory.” Felicia paused. “Do you want to hear it?”

  Elle smiled. “Yes.”

  “Okay, well, let’s make our coffee, and then I will tell you.” Once their cups were filled and made to their specifications, Elle and Felicia settled at the table. “My daddy was in the army, and because we moved a lot, I didn’t have many friends. My sister, Marta, was a year older than me, and we were the best of friends. And when we’d meet new people, she’d just babble on and on about everything while I barely said more than a couple words. They used to say that I was the quiet one, the deep thinker because I chose my words wisely. That’s you, right?”

  “I guess,” Elle said, quietly.

  “I thought so,” she murmured, lifting her cup to her lips and taking a sip. “Mmm, that’s delicious. Do you make your own blend? There’s a very unique flavor.”

  “Um, I add a little bit of cinnamon.”

  “Nice choice.” Felicia leaned back in her chair, cradling the cup to her chest. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes?” Elle wanted to slap herself for making it sound like a question.

  She laughed. “You’re not sure if you’re okay or not?”

  Elle frowned. “No, I don’t guess I am. To be honest, I’m … I don’t know what I am.” She paused. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “You’re okay with Derek being with me, Sadie, and Callum, right?”

  “Yes,” she said, slowly. “Was that what you wanted to ask me?”

  Elle shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. “Why?”

  “Why what?” she looked confused, but as a tear slid down Elle’s cheek, she leaned forward and placed her hand on top of hers. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  “Why did you just accept us?” she whimpered.

  “I don’t understand. Are you upset because we’re okay with your relationship?” Felicia asked.

  “No,” she cried. “I just … You love your children unconditionally, right?”

  Felicia nodded.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know why I wouldn’t. They’re my babies. All I want is for them to be happy, and if being with you, Sadie, and Callum makes my son happy, then that’s all that matters to me and Carlos.”

  The power behind her words had Elle sobbing. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as her body trembled with her tears. She barely heard Felicia mumble something as she stood up and rushed out of the kitchen.

  Elle wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her, and when she looked over, she saw Derek kneeling beside her.

  “Oh, beautiful,” he murmured, bringing one hand to her face and wrapping his other arm around her back.

  “They just love you,” she cried. “They don’t care that you’re sleeping with all of us, or that you’re not perfect. They just love you. You’re happy, Der. You’re fucking happy and that’s all they want!”

  “I know,” he whispered, leaning up and kissing her cheek.

  “I miss her,” Elle sobbed. “I was never good enough for her to love, but I miss her.”

  “I know you do, honey. And I wish I could make your momma understand, make her love you just as you are, but I can’t. I just … I can’t.”

  “Derek, is she okay?” Felicia asked.

  Sighing, he looked over his shoulder. “No. It’s, um, it’s kind of a long story, but her parents cut her out of their lives a few months ago after finding out about our relationship.”

  Felicia gasped. “Oh, that poor child.”

  “Can you just give us a minute, Ma?” he asked. “Please?”

  “Of course,” she murmured, and Elle heard her walk out of the room.

  Derek pulled a chair around the table and sat so that he was facing her, laying his hands on her knees. “Talk to me.”

  Elle shook her head. “I just … Sometimes I think
I’m okay, you know? But then I’ll be in the middle of the grocery store, or sitting in traffic on the way to work, and suddenly she’s there inside my head,” Elle whimpered. “And she’s telling how I’m a disappointment, and how she wishes I was like Ivy. Perfect like Ivy. Beautiful like Ivy. Everything has always been about Ivy. And it take every bit of my control not to cry, not to let it get the better of me.”

  Elle wiped the tears off her face, placing her elbow on her knee, and leaned her forehead against the palm of her hand.

  “Then Samuel and Lydia say that it’s okay, it’s normal for us to love each other. And your mom, Derek, she says all she wants is you to be happy. That’s all she cares about. But my mom and my dad send my shit to me with a fucking note telling me that I’m ruining my life.” She sighed and looked over at him. “I was prepared to fight for you, you know? I imagined slamming my fork down on the table and screaming at your parents to just love you, to not throw you away out pure pettiness. But I didn’t have to because they love you enough to just say okay.”

  “You would have looked sexy, though,” he murmured, smiling.

  “Don’t tease me,” she grumbled.

  “I’m not. Just trying to lighten the mood a little, I guess.” Derek slid his hand over hers, bringing it to his lips. “I don’t know how your mom and dad can look at you and not see the beautiful, amazing, perfect woman that I do. I’ve asked myself that very question a million times, and I still don’t know. God, I wish I did, because I hate that you’re hurting. I hate that you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  “I don’t mean to be,” she argued, reaching over with her other hand and cupping his cheek. “I want nothing more than to just … be happy with everything. And I am most of the time. I love you and Callum and Sadie so fucking much, Derek. I do, but I watch the way your mother nurtures you, and the way your father watches you. And he’s so proud, so very proud of you, and it hurts.” She brought their hands to her chest, flattening their palms against her breasts. “It hurts here because I won’t have that.”

  “You will,” he insisted, sliding to the edge of his chair. “Maybe not with Helina and James, but you’ll get it with my mom and dad, with Samuel and Lydia. They’ll be your parents, and they’ll be proud of you and love you and accept you for the incredible woman you are, Elle.”