by Louise Bay
I wrapped a towel around my waist, rubbed my hair dry with another and headed into the bedroom.
I locked eyes with Haven as soon as I opened the door. Her hair had started to break out of its bun. She looked less than her normal perfect self—she looked totally amazing.
“Feel better?” she asked, fiddling with the pins in her hair and laying them on the table.
“Yeah, much.”
Being wrapped up, most of her hair had avoided the rain. She ran her fingers through the strands and spread it across her shoulders. There she was. My Haven—soft, open, unraveling. She knew what that did to me. Was it an invitation?
She caught me looking at her. “What?” she asked in an almost whisper.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said. I watched as she scanned up and down my body, giving herself away in a look. My skin tightened under her inspection and her breath hitched. I stopped half a step away from her and brushed my knuckles down her cheek. She turned her face into my hand and I closed my eyes, overwhelmed at the feel of her and the small movement that suggested she might want me.
We stood, the gray skies of Paris as our backdrop, watching each other, waiting for what was next.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
My chest tightened at her vulnerability. “I should be saying that to you.”
“It’s difficult for me,” she said, turning toward the window. “Letting someone new see me. I used what I heard when you spoke to Robert as an excuse.”
“But I knew that and I should have fought harder,” I replied, cupping her face.
Her chest rose, as she shook her head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I pulled her toward me and wrapped my arms around her as she slid her hands around my waist. She felt so good, so right and I became lighter, better just from touching her. I rested my cheek on her head as we stood there, holding each other, the past weeks apart just melting away.
My clothes were piled on the chair behind her and I reached to take the belt out of my jeans. She watched me, her mouth slightly parted.
“Do you remember last time in Paris?” I asked as I looped one end of the belt through the buckle and pulled, creating a small noose.
“Jake . . . ”
I shook my head. “I won’t let you keep me out anymore. I’m fighting for you and I’m going to win.”
“Jake,” she said again as if it were a final plea before she gave in and stood tentatively. The inches of air between us seemed charged with energy. They were pulling us closer together.
“You know you only tell me what you want me to do to you, and you do as I say. Did you forget?”
She looked up at me as she chewed the inside of her cheek. I brought my thumb up to her face and stroked the puckered flesh.
“Tell me you don’t want this.”
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and presented her wrists.
Jesus, that got me hard as steel. The way she struggled, then submitted like that. As if I had real power over her, when in reality she totally owned me.
I looped the belt over her hands and she opened her eyes as I pulled the leather tight.
“I won’t hurt you,” I reassured her.
“I know,” she said. “That’s not what I’m frightened of.”
“Tell me what scares you?” I wanted her to feel completely protected.
“Myself. Wanting you. Needing you.”
My knees buckled slightly at her admission. I placed a small kiss on the corner of her lips. “I want to take that feeling away.” Using the belt, I led her over to the bed. “Lie down.”
She didn’t hesitate. She lay back and put her hands overhead. I tied the other end of the belt to the bedpost.
“Jesus, you are beautiful,” I said as I walked to her feet and drank her in from the tips of her toes to her incredible hair fanned out behind her. I luxuriated in her laid out like that. All for me.
Where should I start? I untied her robe and crawled up the bed and lay on my side, my head propped up my hand. I watched her as she waited for me to touch her.
“Jake,” she said.
“Yes, baby?” She twisted her body toward me. “Patience,” I said as I rolled her hips back to the bed.
Haven
I was feeling anything but patient. Somewhere along the line, I’d let Jake in, but it hadn’t been today. Maybe it had been the last time we were in Paris. And now I needed him.
He swept his hands over my partially revealed body. I closed my eyes and groaned.
“Baby, you’re desperate aren’t you?”
It was embarrassing. I was desperate and I couldn’t hide it from him. Was it just me?
He answered my question by pulling his towel open and revealing his hardness.
“Is this what you’re desperate for?” he asked, circling his cock with his hand, dragging his fist upward.
Relief crawled up my body. He wanted me. I couldn’t take my eyes from him, and I was sure I’d suffer further embarrassment when he discovered the wetness between my legs.
“You want it?”
He didn’t need to ask. I wore the answer all over my body. I strained against the belt, but that just pushed another jolt of desire through me as the leather scuffed against my skin. Did he need me restrained? Did I need to be restrained?
He brushed my hair from my face, leaned down and ran his tongue underneath my top lip.
“You want it?” he repeated.
I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered.
“I need you to understand a couple of things first. So I’m going to explain how it’s going to be.”
I drew my eyebrows together, my breaths becoming shorter, tighter. Why was he prolonging this? I needed to feel him.
“This is not a Paris thing, Haven,” he said softly. “You won’t run from me when we get back to London.”
Initial panic gave way to relief as I realized that I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wanted him right then; I needed him, always. He began to sprinkle kisses down my neck.
“There is not, and there will never be, a reason for you to push me away. Do you hear me?”
Right then I’d say anything to get him inside me. “Yes,” I breathed. I was tired of building walls.
“I mean it. We’re together now and when we get back to London. We’re together when I go to Palo Alto, when I come back, and the week after that and the month after that. Do you hear me?”
I nodded as he scooped his fingers into my bra and found my nipple, squeezing it between his thumb and forefinger. I arched off the bed.
“This is the start, not the end, Haven,” he said.
I couldn’t bear it any longer—my words broke free. “Please, Jake.”
“We’re crazy for each other, and I’m hard as a rock for you. This is going to be a night to remember.”
He moved off the bed and dragged off my panties.
“Oh, yes, beautiful. You are so completely ready for me aren’t you?” he asked as his gaze skimmed my underwear. I couldn’t hide my desire from him.
I scrunched my eyes, embarrassed.
“Never be shy about wanting me, Haven,” he said. “I enjoy seeing the evidence. Now I want to hear it.” He rubbed his hands up my thighs, his eyes flitting from my face to between my legs. “Tell me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was half-crazed from his touch, half-mute with shame from needing him as much as I did. If I spoke, I was afraid he’d know everything. He’d see into my soul and although it was what I wanted, I’d fought so hard for so long to keep it hidden, buried from his light.
“Tell me.” He sucked hard on the flesh of my inner thigh, first one side, then the other. It felt dangerous and delicious, as if he was cracking me open. Then again, higher and higher. My breaths came shorter. I could breathe in, but not out. I couldn’t let anything go.
“Do I need to spank you? Is that what you’re waiting for?”
Something in my head snapped and I felt myself let go of whatever I’d been holding. “I w
ant you, Jake. I want you to fuck me, please. I need you inside me,” I said on an exhalation.
I heard the rustle of a condom wrapper and he crawled over my body, his hands on either side of my face. “I can’t wait a moment longer,” he said as his tip hovered at my entrance. I widened my legs and lifted my hips toward him, urging him forward.
“I’ll try and be slow, baby,” he growled.
I didn’t want him to fight his urge to slam into me. I wanted it as he did. My body needed to feel him. “I want it hard,” I said.
He groaned and pushed into me, farther and farther. Despite my plea, he was giving me time to adjust to him. I slid my knees up, trying to make room for him, but I gasped as he hit the end of me.
“Fuck,” I said, my hands clenching above me.
He brought his mouth to mine and pushed his tongue through my lips. I strained at the belt, wanting to be able to touch him. Last time, he’d released me after he’d made me come with his mouth. I was desperate to run my hands through his hair.
He pulled out and then pushed back in, faster this time, slick from my arousal. Then he stilled.
“I’m not going to last long, baby,” he said. “But I want you to come first.” I was close. He’d been in me only seconds, but my body responded so quickly to his hands, his mouth, his words, his touch. It was overwhelming. I shivered with need. He rounded his hips, pulled away and then slammed into me. The beginning of my orgasm fizzed across my muscles. The power he had over my body was absolute.
He rammed in again and pushed me up the bed with the force of his movement, loosening the belt. He caught me as I tried to break free, and hooked his hands over my shoulders, his fingers pulling me onto him. The sensation of the leather tightening around my wrists, a few whispers of pain mixed with the pleasure of him plunging deep, turned the fizz of the beginning of my climax into a buzz. I wanted to freeze time. That way I knew he’d never leave me. We could stay this way, a second away from ecstasy, safe, never quite letting go.
He watched me, our eyes locked as he moved above me, dragging my orgasm from every part of my body.
“Now, Haven. Come for me,” he instructed, and my body gave him what he wanted as I tensed and I came, juddering around him.
From somewhere I heard him shouting—indecipherable sounds of desperation and desire that intensified my climax and merged our bodies further into each other.
As his muscles relaxed above me, he reached to loosen the grip of the leather and pulled my hands free. I wrapped them round his neck and he dragged me closer as he rolled to his back, still inside me. Somehow, I needed him nearer to me. I moved my hands from his neck and tried to pull at his chest, his waist, but my hands couldn’t grasp him.
“Hey,” he said as he grabbed my hands and kissed my wrists.
“Jake,” I said, my voice quivering. I needed to know he wasn’t going anywhere. I wanted him closer.
“Hey,” he repeated and looked at me. I glanced away, not wanting him to see my glassy eyes. “What—?” He pulled out and I whimpered.
“No!” I said.
He sat up, took the condom off and discarded it on the floor. He searched my face, looking for reasons for my outburst. How did I explain that I couldn’t have him gone, not even for a second?
“Talk to me, Haven.”
“I want you near me,” was all I could say. How did I say that now that he’d cracked me open and shone a light into the darkest parts of me, I belonged to him? He might get bored, discard me, find someone who deserved him, but I would always be his.
He pulled me onto his lap, his arms engulfing me. It felt good, better, but not enough. I wrapped myself around his waist and buried my face into the hard muscle of his chest.
“Don’t leave me,” I mumbled against his skin.
“What? I’m not going anywhere.” He was talking about tonight, but I meant forever.
Jake
Sex had always been a physical activity before Haven. With her, something shifted and it became holistic, elemental. It was as if she reached into my soul when she allowed me inside her. And holding her afterward, so vulnerable in my arms, I wondered if maybe it might be like that for her, too.
My dick twitched underneath her, and I tried to think of anything but how she felt, smelled and tasted. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t want to talk. She moved slightly and I could tell she’d noticed.
“I’m sorry. You’re beautiful and naked and, well, that’s biology.”
She half smiled and reached between us. I grasped her wrist. “No, Haven. I can’t . . . ”
“You can’t fuck me again?” She looked confused, hurt maybe.
“I can’t stop myself getting hard if you touch me. I’ll make love to you as long as you’ll let me.”
“I want you hard,” she said as she twisted her hand away from my grip and clasped my erection. I groaned at the thought she might want me as much as I wanted her. I didn’t need to hold back.
She shifted and slid her knees to either side of my thighs, my dick still in her fist as she dragged up my length. Having her naked gave me endless ideas about what I was going to do with her. And I wanted to do it all now. I reached forward, cupping her tits in my hands, twisting her nipples.
Her breathing stumbled and I grabbed her hips, pulling her toward me. She knew what I wanted. I was hard and I needed to feel her all around me. She grasped my shoulders and trailed her delicious, wet slit up and down my dick, twisting her body slightly as my crown hit her clitoris. She buried her head in my neck.
“Jake,” she whimpered. Her movements got smaller. “I can’t. It’s too much. It’s too good.”
“Fuck, baby.”
I grabbed a condom from the bedside table and flipped her to her back. She needed me to make her feel good and from now on, that was my job.
“Are you ready?” I asked her, searching her eyes for any hesitation. She pulled at me, trying to get me closer. She was more than ready.
She clung to the bed sheets and held her breath as I pushed in in one movement. My eyes were on hers the entire time, checking, assessing my effect on her.
“Oh Jesus,” she said. “It’s just, I’m so full.”
I started moving above her and she cried out again and again. First, the noises she made were small, muffled and then they grew louder, magnified with each movement.
The sounds I created in her thrilled me, made me harder, brought me closer. Her expression told me whatever this was between us was as new for her as it was for me. She searched my face, looking for an explanation as if she were in pleasurable confusion.
I slid her legs up and over my shoulders. I was so deep; I was lost. Sweat coated my body and I wondered how long I would be able to hold off.
I reached forward and found her clitoris with my thumb.
She grabbed my forearm and cried out again.
“Like that?” I asked her, pushing and rubbing.
“Please Jake, I can’t . . . ” She arched off the bed, stretching, offering herself to me, the force of her orgasm drawing her toward me.
I concentrated on her beautiful face, trying to ignore my desire to empty myself into her. My thumb didn’t relent, and as she recovered from her climax, she realized I was going to make her come again.
“Please, Jake,” she cried. Oh, I could get used to her pleas. The uptight, sharp-tongued Haven Daniels begging me not to make her come, again and again. “I can’t.”
“You can and you will.” I replied. I pushed into her sharply and she relaxed against me, succumbing, giving herself what she needed. She wanted to submit to me as much as I needed her to. I knew her body. She would get a reminder every time she forgot.
Her muscles began to pulse around me and her hands flew to her face as if she were trying to hide the effect I had on her body. But there was no hiding. I knew what I did to her. Every inch of her was mine.
“Look at me.” I twisted my hips as I drove into her. I changed the direction of my circling thumb.
She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen—fragile, but so strong. Open just for me, a private screening. Her clenching muscles pushed me off the edge, and with a final thrust, I was done for.
It felt as if I lost consciousness for a few seconds. I regained it with the help of Haven’s nails running up and down my back. I shuddered.
“Shit, that was . . . ” I pushed up on my hands to watch her. She smiled at me. Sated.
“What?” she asked and she pulled her arms around my neck and drew me closer.
“I don’t want to squash you.”
“I like feeling your weight on me, like I can’t escape,” she said. Did she want to escape? I’d been clear with her—she wasn’t to run, and if necessary I’d tie her to my bed. She was all I wanted, and if I needed to fight to keep her, I was ready to battle for the rest of my life.
I slumped over her again. “You’re amazing,” I said. “I love to watch you come.”
“Jake,” she said. Her eyes were haunted as she spoke.
“What?” I moved her legs between mine so I surrounded her, pressing my skin to hers. Offering her reassurance.
“Don’t,” she said. She sounded sad.
“Don’t what?” I asked, propping myself up on my elbows so I could see her.
“Say stuff, you know, like that.”
“Like what? That you’re amazing and I love watching you come?”
She turned her head away from me and closed her eyes.
“You promised me you weren’t going to run,” I said. “If you shut yourself off, you’re doing the same thing. Tell me what you mean.” My heart began to thump against my chest. What was she going to say?
She sighed underneath me. “Stuff like that. Things you’ve said to other women.”
It wasn’t the answer I expected. She wanted to be special—she had no idea how incredible she was. I’d failed her if she didn’t know. And failing Haven wasn’t a possibility.
I pulled out of her, discarded the condom and slumped to her side, my face opposite hers. She opened her eyes. “I don’t say anything I don’t mean, Haven. I’ve never enjoyed watching a woman come the way I enjoy watching you. It makes me feel like I crash through you and take you over. I see a part of you that’s rare and precious in those moments. You are amazing. Don’t doubt it.”