by Louise Bay
She stayed silent for a few long moments. I kissed her forehead. “You own me. As much as you let me in and that feels like an honor, you also see every part of me in a way I’ve never shown anyone, ever.” I’d spent so much energy trying to break through Haven’s tough shell, I’d not noticed that she’d found a wall in me I hadn’t realized was there. She’d taken it down, unexpectedly, brick by brick.
“You do,” she whispered.
“I do?” I asked.
“You take me over. I don’t know myself when I’m with you.”
I couldn’t get her close enough. I pulled her toward me, molding us together so there was no separation, no space between us.
I must have dozed off. Haven’s cell woke me and she turned in my arms to reach it. I tightened my grip around her, not letting her wrestle free.
“Hey, it could be important,” she said.
“Then they’ll call back,” I said but she continued to struggle so I released her.
The phone silenced before she reached it. “It was Ash.” She burrowed back into my arms. “It’s nearly six. We should get going. I guess we’ll have to buy new tickets—you punched our ride. What was that about anyway?”
“Nothing. The guy was being a douche about you and about Beth.” The last thing I wanted to do now was talk about Romano.
“What happened between them?”
“It’s not my story to tell.” There was no way I would repeat what he’d said. Not to Haven and not to Beth. “Will you trust me? I don’t want you upset and I don’t want to talk about him. Especially when we’re naked in bed and I’m recovering from . . . ”
“Recovering?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I didn’t answer. I just smiled and pulled her closer and she sank against me.
“But we do need to go. I think the last train is at nine.”
“Why don’t we stay?” I suggested. “We’re here, we have the hotel room. I can have you home to cook for Luke tomorrow.”
“Ash is cooking this week,” she said. It didn’t sound as though I was going to have to try hard to convince her. I fought a smile. It would be easier this time.
“So what time would you have to be back?”
“Hmmm, two?” she suggested.
“We can do that easily.” I kissed the top of her head.
She opened her mouth to say something, then stopped herself. I raised my eyebrows expectantly. Her ribcage expanded against me as she took a deep breath. “You could come, too, if you wanted? I mean, you don’t have to and you’re probably busy but—” I smiled at her as her words came out too fast and my heart swelled. She was going to try and make this work. Maybe the fight was won.
“I’d love to come.”
She looked up at me and half grinned. I caught her face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers.
“Holy crap. I’m not good at all this stuff,” she said. I got the feeling she wasn’t just talking about dinner.
“Stuff?”
“With relationships, men. But I want to do better than I did last time. I don’t want to mess this up.”
“I won’t let you. I got us covered. Follow my lead.” I wasn’t sure where we’d end up but as long as it was together, I didn’t care.
“So, you’re good at stuff with men?” she asked, grinning at me, her mood lightening.
“Oh, I’m going to make you pay for that. I like it when you’re begging me to stop.” I grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the bed, rubbing my growing erection against her thigh. “We’re together, and that’s all that matters, do you hear me?”
She nodded. “I promise I won’t beg you to stop again.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Haven
When I opened my eyes to the sunlight, the first thing I thought was that I’d broken my promise to Jake. I had begged him to stop—I had begged him never to stop. I had implored him to go harder, faster, deeper. I felt the consequence of every plea across my body as my tight muscles stopped me from sitting up. I felt shadows of him across my skin—bite marks, fingertip bruises, his scent.
“Morning,” Jake said.
“Hey,” I replied.
“We slept, finally. I didn’t think I’d ever want to.” His words floated over me like feathers. I’d never felt physically needed by someone before. It was grounding, compelling.
“You passed out on top of me, mid thrust,” I said smiling up at him.
“I did not. You fell asleep when I was in the bathroom for like a minute and a half.”
I grinned at him. It sounded about right.
“We should go if we’re going to get you home for your family thing.”
I wanted Ash and Luke to meet Jake properly, but I also wanted to stay. To watch him, still sleepy and caught in the sunlight pushing in through the slits in the curtains. I reached for my phone. It was gone ten. I’d hoped that we’d see a bit more of the city today. I wanted to pretend that we were still in Paris the first time; that I hadn’t wasted the time since filming. That I hadn’t pushed him away.
“We can come back anytime,” he said, reading my thoughts.
“Promise?”
“Of course. Wanna come to Palo Alto with me?”
I scowled at him as I sat up. “I have work. I have to sort out this shit with this article. I hope Louis doesn’t make it difficult.”
Punctuated by long and short kisses, we showered and dressed so we could be back in London in time for Sunday dinner. Before we left, I pulled out my phone. “I should ring Ash to tell her I’ll be a bit late,” I said. “Normally I’d go round soon after lunch to help her.”
He nodded. “I’ll call Beth. Shit! Those real estate viewings.”
“You still want to come to dinner? I mean, it’s nothing fancy. It’s just the three of us.”
“I want to come, Haven. Never doubt me.”
I reached to stroke his beautiful face. “You don’t think this is some kind of spell that is cast on us in Paris?” I asked.
Jake looked at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, you know, we’ll get back to London and this,” I said, swirling my fingers at us, “Will just . . . you know . . . disappear.”
“You’re crazy. I’m not disappearing and you’re not going anywhere. I’ve told you this.”
I nodded, but something gnawed away in the pit of my stomach. I’d had the same feeling the last time we took this train back to London. There was a reason I wasn’t close to many people.
We arrived at Ash’s flat a little before three so there would still be time before Luke got there.
“Are you ready?” I asked Jake as my finger hovered over the intercom.
“Ready for what? You’re not planning to serve me for dinner, are you?” He reached across and pressed the buzzer, then landed a kiss on the top of my head.
A second later, Ash threw the door open and grinned the widest grin I’d ever seen.
“Knock it off, Ash,” I said as I pushed past her into the hallway. “You’ve met, I believe.”
“We have. I’m delighted to see you, together,” she said and I rolled my eyes.
“Nice to see you again, Ash,” Jake said from behind me.
I headed straight to the fridge to find something to take the edge off. I was either going to be teased mercilessly, or everything was going to be awkward. I wasn’t sure which was more nerve wracking—that he would fit into our little group or that he wouldn’t.
“You’re sure Emma’s not coming?” Ash asked me.
“I’m sure. Otherwise we’d be doing this at my house.”
“Who’s Emma?” Jake asked.
“Luke’s girlfriend,” I said. “We don’t have Sunday dinner at Ash’s if Emma is joining us.”
The door buzzer went again and Ash headed off to answer it.
“You want some wine?” I asked him.
“Not as much as you do, apparently, but I’ll have a glass,” he responded. It was nice having him standing in As
“You must be Luke,” Jake said, extending his hand as Luke and Ash piled into the kitchen.
Luke took Jake’s hand, but wasn’t overly friendly. I watched as the cold rolled off Luke. It wasn’t like him. He was everyone’s friend. But he was worried for me. He didn’t need to be. Jake was a protector, just as Luke was. “I’m glad we’re meeting under better circumstances this time,” Jake said.
Luke nodded stiffly and pushed his hands through his hair as Ash punched him on the arm.
“Come on, cheer up, you misery. Your little sister’s getting laid, you should be delighted!” Ash said.
A mixture of “Jesus”, “fucking hell” and “Ash” filled the room, but Ash just grinned.
“You see, the ice is officially broken,” she said. “We are an equal-opportunity employer here, Jake, so don’t think you’re going to be able to watch sports while we cook. Strap on an apron and get chopping.”
I hopped up on a stool and fiddled with my wine glass while Jake tied an apron around his waist. I knew better than to start anything without express and detailed instructions from Ash.
“I’m going to do everything I can to make your sister happy,” Jake told Luke. “I don’t think she’ll ever find anyone to deserve her, but I’m going to do my best to be that man.” My heart swelled. I sounded so precious when he spoke about me like that.
Luke nodded. “And if you don’t, I’ll kill you.”
“Sounds fair,” Jake said, nodding as Luke smiled.
“So, what car do you drive?” Luke asked Jake. Before he had a chance to answer, Ash interrupted.
“What car do you drive? I’m not going to marry you if you keep this up, dork face. You must have better small talk than that,” said Ash.
“I like them, and I like you with them,” Jake said as we climbed into a cab after leaving Ash’s. “Can we go to Little Venice and then Earls Court?” he said to the driver. Jake’s easy confidence meant he fit fine into our group and I wasn’t as freaked out by that as I’d expected.
“You can stay at mine if you want,” I said.
He pulled me onto his lap and kissed my neck, driving me crazy. My skin heated as soon as he touched me, as if it was waiting for him to come alive. “I want to. I really, really want to. It’s driven me insane not being able to touch you for the past few hours.”
“I sense a but.” I pushed my hands through his hair as he continued his exploration of my neck.
“I should get home to Beth. She’s . . . it’s—”
“You don’t need to explain. It’s fine.”
“I’m going to have to work a few things out,” he said. I hoped that the spell of Paris was not beginning to weaken. “I need you to trust me. I’m away next week and she needs me at the moment.”
Jake followed me out of the cab when it pulled up outside my building, and for a moment, I thought he’d changed his mind.
He took my face in his hands and brushed his lips against me—brushing then pressing, pressing then pushing my lips open, his tongue crashing against mine. He kissed me as though it was our last moment together. I groaned into his mouth and he pulled away.
“Those sounds you make drive me crazy,” he said, our foreheads resting together. “If we don’t stop now, I’ll never leave.”
Stay, I thought, but I didn’t say anything. Stay or the spell will be broken.
“Can I see you tomorrow? I fly out on Tuesday morning. We could go out to dinner. Or stay in?” he suggested.
I didn’t want him to feel obligated. “I understand if you need to prep or—”
“Haven, I want to spend the evening with you. You need to stop doubting.”
He’d pinpointed exactly what I was thinking. “I told you I was terrible at relationships.” My heartbeat began to quicken.
“I’m going to stay. Let me speak to Beth,” he said as he reached into his pocket.
“No!” I put my hand on his. “You can’t. That will make it worse. I’ll feel selfish and high maintenance and I am those things, but I don’t need to be reminded of it.”
“You’re not running from me, Haven, and I won’t have you push me away. You have to talk to me and tell me what you need.”
I nodded.
“You’re my girl and we just need to figure this out. We’ll get there.”
He walked me up the steps to my building and closed the door behind me. I watched through the glass as he climbed back into the cab.
I exhaled. Maybe he was right.
Jake
I stood outside Haven’s building, thinking about our conversation when I dropped her off here the night before. I had been kind of relieved on the way home. I could tell she had been waiting for things to go badly. We’d hit our first road bump and we were safely over the other side.
With previous girlfriends, there’d never been much talking. It hadn’t been all fucking—it had been dinner and fucking. The food had been the warm up to the sex. I’d never really known a woman before I’d asked her out. And although you couldn’t categorize Haven and I as friends, we’d had something before the physical stuff. I liked that. I wanted to talk to her, to hear what she was thinking and feeling. It didn’t matter to me that we might be on a rough road and that she was prickly and pushed people away. I’d known that about her all along, it was part of what attracted me to her. We were all a bit crazy—she just didn’t hide hers.
I pulled my phone from my jeans pocket. There was a missed call from Millie but no voicemail. Why did she keep calling? There was no going back for us. Didn’t she get that?
I leaned against the railing as I saw Haven round the corner. She was smiling to herself, and I couldn’t help but grin. She looked so happy. Her smile widened when she saw me. My heart leapt.
“Hey, gorgeous.” I bent and kissed her.
“Hey,” she replied, grinning as she pushed me away. “No PDAing in front of my neighbors.”
“Then we better get inside because you’re going to be naked in less than five minutes.”
She rolled her eyes at me as she started to punch in the code to her building. I stood behind her, grappling for the pins that kept her hair in place.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she opened the door.
“Trying to get your hair down.”
“What am I going to do with you?” she asked through a grin.
“I can think of a few things that I’m going to do with you.” I grabbed her hand as we headed to the elevators.
“You pervert.”
As soon as the lift doors closed, she turned to me. “So, we’re technically not in public anymore.”
“And I’m a pervert? You wanna get felt up in the elevator?”
She reached up around my neck. “Maybe,” she replied.
I walked her back so she was against the chrome of the elevator wall. I pressed my crotch against her and slid my hand up the back of her uncovered thigh. I’d been hard since I first laid eyes on her. Each time I saw her again she seemed to be slightly more beautiful than before, if that were possible.
“Well, you’ll have to wait. I don’t put out in public places,” I said as the elevator doors opened and I released her from where I had her pinned to the wall.
She rolled her eyes at me again and I swiped her on the bottom. “Are you looking to get spanked?”
“Perhaps,” she said with a gleam in her eye. “So what do you want to order for dinner?” she asked as she unlocked her apartment.
“You,” I said as I stepped in. Last time I’d been here, I’d felt like a stranger to her as we struggled to try and be just colleagues. I glanced around with none of the heavy heart that I’d felt last time. I was excited to get to see her like this.
She laughed.
“I’m serious. I can’t wait any longer.” I followed her, trying to unzip her skirt. I grabbed at her turtleneck and she lifted her arms as I pulled it off.
“Don’t you want to hear about my conversation with Paula from Glass Introductions?” she asked as she walked backward into her bedroom.
“Not really. What? You mean about Romano? What did she say?”
I dipped my head to lick her collarbone. Her skin was so beautiful. Her fingers pressed into my shoulders as she tipped her head back to give me better access.
“What did she say?” I asked again.
“Huh? Oh, right, that he had called to apologize to her, but he hadn’t told her what happened. I didn’t say anything either.”
“So he’s okay with you using him in the article?” I skimmed her skirt down her legs.
“Yeah, she didn’t say anything at all.”
“Good news,” I said as I unbuttoned my jeans and threw off my sweater. “It means we never have to think about that prick again.”
God she was perfect, standing in front of me in nothing but her underwear. “Take your panties off,” I said as I took a step back to drink her in. She hooked her thumbs into the lace and slid them down.
I took a deep breath. I was going to savor this. “On your back on the bed.”
She complied quickly and I reached for her ankles, bringing her ass to the edge of the bed. I picked up her panties from the floor where she’d left them. “Give me your wrists.”
She held out her hands.
“Next time we’ll do this properly, but this will do for now.” I tied the panties around her hands, knotting them securely. “Does it hurt?” I asked.
“Almost,” she said.
“Perfect. Now put them above your head and don’t move.”
I watched as she stretched out, her nipples puckered in anticipation. She watched me watching her. Already she was used to me taking a moment to drink her in. She knew I needed that. I wanted to see her whole body before I decided where to start, how I would make her come for the first time.
I pushed her knees apart and plunged my thumb into her and she gasped as I circled. She was so ready for me. “How long have you been like this, Haven? So wet, so ready?”
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