by Pamela Bauer
Maddie wanted to blame it on the fact that they were living in Leonie’s house, but she realized that had he wanted to make love with her, he would have figured out a way to make it happen. She wondered if he’d tired of her already, or if he’d simply decided it would be easier to part company if they were friends instead of lovers.
She wasn’t about to ask. She had her pride. When she found herself alone on a Saturday night, however, she knew she had to face a fact she’d been trying hard to ignore.
She was in love with Dylan.
When Krystal arrived home around nine, she took one look in the gathering room and asked, “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be out with Dylan.”
She shook her head. “One of his high school buddies called and asked him to get together.”
She plopped herself down next to Maddie on the sofa. “And you couldn’t go along?”
Maddie shook her head. “No chicks. It was a guy thing.”
“Oh, that must be what’s going on at Shane’s. Garret mentioned that a bunch of guys who used to live in the neighborhood were all getting together to shoot pool and watch the hockey game on TV.”
“You talked to Garret?”
“He stopped in to get his hair cut yesterday. I didn’t realize Dylan was going to be at Shane’s though. I thought after what happened the night of Leonie’s party…” She didn’t finish her thought. “They must have resolved things. Leonie said she was going to make them sit down and talk things out.”
“Leonie said that? When?”
Krystal nodded. “The day after her party. I know they thought they could keep their feuding from her, but you know how moms are. They can smell trouble a mile off when it comes to their kids.”
Maddie clicked off the TV and set the remote down with a thud. “It’s my fault. I should have known better than to get involved with Dylan.”
“Even if you hadn’t fallen for him, it sounds as if there would have been trouble. It’s no secret that the Donovan boys haven’t always got along. We’ve lived with Leonie long enough to know that.”
“Unfortunately, it seems to me that Dylan is the one who doesn’t get along with his brothers. There never appeared to be any trouble between the other three,” Maddie observed.
“That’s not true. Look at how Shane and Jason have been at each other over his dropping out of school. Dylan’s actually the one who’s been trying to put things right for Jason.”
“He has?” Maddie wasn’t aware of his efforts. “I know Leonie was pretty upset.”
“Yeah, which is why Dylan’s been talking to her about it, trying to get her to understand that college isn’t for everyone.”
“He did that?”
Krystal nodded. “Garret told me.”
Maddie’s brows lifted. “You’ve been talking to Garret an awful lot, haven’t you?”
“Not really, but I keep my ears open when I do,” she said with a grin. “I think the Donovan boys are pretty cool guys and if they’re all together at Shane’s tonight, they must be getting along.”
“Or knocking each other down,” Maddie said dryly.
Krystal reached over and patted her hand. “At least you know all the trouble wasn’t about you. You just got stuck in the middle.”
Maddie felt stuck all right, but she wasn’t sure where.
“So how much longer does Dylan have before he goes back to Saint Martin?” Krystal asked.
“He leaves the eleventh of February.”
She pulled a face. “Right before Valentine’s Day? That’s a bum deal. What’s going to happen after?”
She shrugged. “Probably nothing. Why?”
She crossed her arms and stared at Maddie with a look of disbelief. “Why? Because you’re crazy about the guy and he’s crazy about you, that’s why.”
“Not quite.”
She harrumphed. “I have eyes in my head.” She sat forward. “And just think how romantic it would be to have a long-distance relationship with a guy who lives on an island in the Caribbean. Très sexy,” she said with a bad French accent.
“Très stupeed,” Maddie countered.
“Why?”
“Because that’s not me.” She tried to keep any emotion out of her voice. “We had fun and I’m glad we had the time together, but when it’s over, it’s over.”
Krystal eyed her suspiciously. “You really believe that?”
She wanted to say yes, but the word stuck in her throat.
Krystal noticed. “You don’t! I knew it! You’ve fallen big time for him, haven’t you?”
Maddie nodded miserably. “And I didn’t want to. It just happened.”
“Does he know?”
“No! And I’m not going to tell him. You’d better not, either,” she warned. “We both agreed from the start that we weren’t looking for a long-term relationship.”
“No, but maybe you found one.”
“And maybe if I say something he’ll just ignore me the rest of his visit and then things would be really awkward.”
“I don’t think he can ignore you.”
Maddie wanted to tell her that he was already doing a pretty good job, but she didn’t want to share that information with anyone. “I’d rather not find out.”
“I bet you’re going to find that absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Krystal snapped her fingers. “I have an idea. You’ve been together nearly every day now since you went to the Wild game, right?” When Maddie nodded she continued, “Maybe what you need to do is not be so available. Give him a preview of what it’s going to be like to miss you.”
“I don’t play games when it comes to relationships,” she reminded her.
“You don’t need to play a game. Just come with me to Saint Cloud and be my hair model. I could use someone with great hair, which you have. Plus, we could do some girl stuff together—hang out at the mall, maybe go to a chick flick.”
Maddie considered the invitation. Dylan hadn’t made any definite plans for the two of them and during the past week he had more or less taken it for granted that she’d be right there for him. Mondays were her day off, which meant she could stay overnight and not have to worry about getting back in time for work.
“What do you want to do with my hair?” she asked.
“Fun stuff. No tints, no cuts, I promise.” Krystal could see Maddie was tempted. “Come on. We can get our nails done, have a facial. What do you say?”
Maddie hesitated for only a moment before saying, “What time do we leave?”
“YOU’RE LOOKING a little rough around the edges,” Dylan’s mother said to him as he stumbled into the house on Sunday morning.
“We played pool half the night.”
“Must have had a good time.”
“Yeah, it was good to see everybody,” he said, opening the door to the refrigerator and pulling out the carton of milk.
“Need something to settle your stomach?”
He shook his head. “I’m not hungover, just hungry.” He found a box of cereal in the cupboard and sprinkled some into a bowl.
“I thought when you didn’t come home that you’d wisely decided to sleep at Shane’s rather than risk driving.”
“I wasn’t intoxicated, Mom, just tired…which Garret tells me can be equally deadly behind the wheel,” he said, pouring milk onto the cereal.
“Garret spent the night, too?”
He sat down next to her. “Take that worried look off your face. When I told you we’d cleared the air, I meant it. Everything’s cool with your sons. We’re all getting along just fine. Even Jason was talking to Shane.”
Concern lined her face. “What if Jason’s making a mistake leaving school?”
“Then he’ll live with his mistake. We all make them, Mom,” he stated philosophically.
She smiled and patted his hand. “That’s true. Thank you for working so hard to make peace with your brothers. I know you did it for me and I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome, but it wasn’t ju
st for you, Mom. I don’t like the fact that there’s been this distance between me and my brothers…and I’m not talking about the miles between here and Saint Martin.”
“I hope that means you’ll be coming to visit more often?”
“You’re not sick of me?” he asked in between spoonfuls of cereal.
“You know better than to even ask that question,” she scolded him.
She didn’t seem to notice that he didn’t answer her original question and he was relieved. The truth was, he didn’t want to think about what would happen once he returned to Saint Martin. Right now he wanted to concentrate on the time he had left…and how he would spend that time.
“Have you seen Maddie this morning?” he asked.
“She and Krystal went to Saint Cloud.”
“For what?”
Leonie shrugged. “I’m not sure. All I know is that there was a note for me when I got up that said not to worry if they didn’t come home tonight.”
That news had Dylan frowning.
“Didn’t Maddie mention to you that she was thinking about going?” his mother asked, eyeing him curiously.
“No, but then we’re not exactly in each other’s pockets,” he told her. He knew that he should be pleased he could say that. It was exactly what he wanted their relationship to be. For the past week he’d done his best to make sure she understood that, as much as he enjoyed her company, he didn’t need her. He wanted her, yes, but need her? Uh-uh.
So why did he feel so awful knowing that he wasn’t going to see her the rest of the day? Or possibly not until tomorrow?
“What are your plans for today?” his mother asked.
He shrugged. “Maybe watch the basketball game on TV. Unless you need my help with something?”
“No, you watch the game. Jan and I have plans.”
“Going shopping?”
“No, we’re going snowmobiling.”
He nearly dropped his spoon into his cereal bowl. “You’re kidding.”
“Don’t you think fifty-three-year-old women can ride snowmobiles?”
“I didn’t know that you had a snowmobile.”
“I don’t. We’re going to visit some friends who live up near Silver Creek. They’re the ones with the sleds.” She looked at the clock, then quickly finished her coffee. “I didn’t realize it was so late. I’d better get going. Enjoy your day, dear,” she said with a wave and was gone. She popped her head back through the doorway to add, “There’s some leftover chicken in the fridge you can heat up in the microwave if you get hungry.”
“What time are you planning to come home?”
“Oh, not too late. Maybe nine or ten-ish,” she said, and again disappeared.
Nine or ten-ish? Dylan sat in the empty kitchen, slowly shaking his head. He had the entire house to himself and Maddie was in Saint Cloud. Had she known that his mother would be out all day?
Had she gone with Krystal because she was tired of being with him? He frowned. Women generally didn’t complain that they were seeing too much of him. It was usually just the opposite.
But Maddie wasn’t like most women. She didn’t like it when a guy referred to a woman as his. She’d told him she didn’t belong to anybody.
He wanted her to belong to him. Not that he saw her as an object to possess, but he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he wanted part of her to belong to him. And he was a little bothered that she’d never showed any possessiveness toward him.
Which had him wondering if she hadn’t gone to Saint Cloud because she’d needed some time to herself. He knew if he spent the day alone he’d just keep asking himself that same question over and over. He picked up the phone and called Shane.
“Want to go to the Timberwolves game?”
“I can’t. Jennifer’s going to a baby shower so I’ve got Mickey. I promised him I’d take him to Camp Snoopy.”
“Does he want his uncle to go along?”
He heard a muffled “Hey, Mick! You want Uncle Dylan to come with us to Camp Snoopy,” then a “Yeah, and Maddie, too.”
“He says—” Shane began.
“I heard him. Tell him he gets his uncle. Maddie’s in Saint Cloud with Krystal.”
“What’s she doing up there?”
He admitted he didn’t know, then said, “I’ll be over as soon as I’ve showered.”
Chauffeuring a four-year-old through an amusement park wasn’t what he’d call a perfect Sunday, but it beat sitting home thinking about a woman. Not just a woman, a voice inside his head reminded him. Maddie.
But he found it hard not to think about her even in an amusement park where screams from the passengers on the roller coaster drowned out nearly all rational thoughts. It would have helped had Mickey not mentioned her name on a regular basis. Ever since his nephew had seen Dylan and Maddie kissing, he’d become like a broken record, repeating the same question.
“Are you going to marry Maddie?”
Shane could only lift his eyebrows and shrug as if to say, Don’t look at me. I didn’t put the idea in his head.
Someone had and Dylan guessed it was Jennifer, since when they got back to the house, the first question she asked was, “I’m surprised you’re not with Maddie today.”
Although his sister-in-law invited him to stay for dinner, he declined, not wanting to be put through an inquisition about Maddie. He had no doubt that she wanted to ask the same question Mickey had, even if she would take a more subtle route to finding the answer.
So he went back to an empty house, where he sat alone watching TV and thinking about Maddie. He wondered where she was staying, if she and Krystal had gone barhopping—a pastime he knew the younger woman regarded as entertainment. He frowned. He didn’t like to think of Maddie in a bar without him.
When she wasn’t home by noon the following day, he began to get surly. His mother noticed and asked if his shoulder was bothering him. He lied and said it was, but the truth was that he couldn’t stop thinking about Maddie.
That’s why, when she finally waltzed through the door with her arms full of packages, he had to leave the room or risk grabbing her and kissing her senseless. He waited until he heard Krystal leave for work before he went upstairs to pound on her door.
When she opened it, she looked startled to see him.
“Have fun in Saint Cloud?” he asked.
“Yes, we did. Is something wrong?”
“Yeah, something’s wrong. I’ve been going crazy missing you,” he said, then practically devoured her mouth with his.
Frantically they tugged at each other’s clothes, their lips pulling apart only long enough for Maddie to say, “Your mother…”
“Won’t be back until after five,” he finished, then captured her mouth one more. He couldn’t think of anything except the aching inside him, an ache that only she could relieve.
Clothes went flying, limbs tangled, and they fell onto her bed as the urgency of their desires overcame them. Each time he’d made love with her he’d expected it couldn’t possibly be as good as it had been the last time, and each time he’d been wrong.
Today was no different. They came together in an incredible explosion of passion and something else he didn’t want to examine too closely.
When it was over, he held her tightly, loving the feel of her naked body next to his, needing the feeling of connection that flowed between them. The thought of not having that made him shudder.
She thought he was cold and reached for a blanket to cover them. Cocooned together, they didn’t talk, content to listen to each other’s breathing.
Finally Dylan said, “I don’t know how I’m going to leave you, Maddie.”
She kissed his naked chest. “It’s only three-thirty. Your Mom won’t be home for another hour and a half.”
“I’m not talking about now. I mean when my medical leave is up.”
“Then don’t leave. They must need concrete specialists in Minnesota.” It was said in a light tone, but he knew she wasn’t
joking.
He propped himself on an elbow to look at her. “I don’t want us to end, Maddie, but I can’t stay here.”
She stared up at him with eyes full of honesty and sincerity. “I haven’t asked you to stay, have I?”
“No. That’s just it. You don’t make any demands on me at all.”
“Because we have an agreement.”
He let his head fall back against the pillow. “Why did you go to Saint Cloud?”
“Krystal had a hair show and wanted me to be a model.”
So she hadn’t wanted to get away from him. He felt incredible. “It’s so good between us, Maddie.”
“What is?” she asked a bit impatiently. “Sex? Being together? What?”
“Everything!”
She smiled then, and kissed him. “Yes, everything is good. It’s as if we have this connection. I don’t understand it, but it’s there.”
He felt it, too, but unlike her, he did understand. There could be only one explanation—she knew what it meant to have a father who’d cheated on his wife.
“I may know what it is,” he told her, looking into eyes that brightened with curiosity at his words.
“Then you have to tell me,” she ordered.
“I want to, but if I do, I’ll put you in a position that could make you uncomfortable. You’ll know something none of my brothers or my mother knows.”
She placed her hand in his. “What is it, Dylan. You look so serious.”
“It is serious.”
In her expression he saw trust and understanding. After thirteen years he felt as if he could finally let go of the burden created by the secret. As unemotionally as possible, he explained what had happened spring break of his senior year.
When he’d finished, her eyes were thoughtful. “And you’ve never told anyone else.”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t let my mother find out. You’ve heard the way she talks about my father.”
“You’re still angry at him, aren’t you?”
“Aren’t you angry at your dad for what he did to your mother?”