by S Michelle
“Tongue,” I ordered.
He opened his mouth wide and stuck his tongue out as his eyes raised to mine, burning with heat. I tapped my dick on his tongue a couple of times before slowly sliding it along into the warmth of this mouth. He moaned, and his eyes closed.
“Open your eyes. I want you to watch me as you take my cock.”
Gabe looked like he fucking loved it as much as I did. He looked up at me and opened his mouth as wide as he could. I waited, admiring the beautiful picture in front of me. When he blinked, he was begging me with his eyes, and I trailed the tip around his lips, gifting him with another taste of my pre-cum. I tried to keep my eyes open, to maintain this connection, but my eyes rolled back in my head as he opened his mouth wider, silently begging for more.
Eventually, I gave him what we both wanted, my cock sliding forward on his tongue until it hit the back of his throat. He tried and failed not to gag. I held myself there just a moment longer before I pulled out, giving him some much-needed air. Once he had taken a couple of breaths, I tilted my hips forward again.
“Suck.”
He closed his lips around my dick, hollowed his cheeks, and sucked, moving back up my shaft until only the head was between his lips. Slowly, he started working me up and down, teasing around the head. His pace quickened in response to my breathing. He reached up to hold my hips, but I smacked his hand away.
“No hands,” I growled.
As he continued, the rhythm of my breathing began to falter. “Fuuuck. Fuck, G, baby, fuck. I need to move, too fucking good. Fuck.”
He joined his hands behind his back and opened his mouth wider in invitation for me to fuck him. At first my hands rested in his hair, my hips gliding gently forward, careful not to gag him again, but as I watched the look of bliss on his face as his lips stretched around me, my pace quickened, and my thrusts became faster, deeper.
He was the picture of debauched beauty, tears streaming down his face, saliva running down his chin, struggling to keep his eyes open as I fucked his face. I wanted to see this. I want to watch him while I came undone. I was struggling to hold on as my thrusts got more urgent, his moans more desperate.
As my rhythm started to falter and my good knee almost buckled, I drew back, and the first splash of my hot cum hit his tongue, then his cheek, his chin. My eyes went blank as I continued to pump my cock, my voice strained, screaming curses. When my vision came back, I leaned on his shoulder for a moment, looking at my handiwork.
Holy fucking God. Never has he looked more beautiful.
I held a hand for him to take, wanting him to stand so I could sit on the edge of the coffee table and enjoy my turn. But he shook his head with a wry smile. His underwear was soaked with his cum. He had managed to open his jeans but nothing else. I looked back at his face. Our eyes locked as our breathing started to slow. He looked wrecked, but in pure bliss.
I reached for him, but stopped an instant before my hand touched his. “I can’t tell you how beautiful you look right now,” I whispered hoarsely. His doubt and insecurity was written on his face. I cupped his cheek. “You do. You look beautiful. You look well used. And you look like mine.”
* * *
Gabe and I saw each other several times in the following weeks. Each time, we intended to talk, but each time, we ended up naked instead. And each time, I took command. I wasn’t always as dominant, but I definitely oversaw anything physical. Nothing was better in the world than watching him submit, but nothing was weak about his submission. The strength I saw in the way he laid himself bare for me, give himself to me completely, was incredible. In public or with friends, he was still as shy and unsure as always. The contradiction was intriguing.
* * *
Waiting for Dean to be ready to leave, I smoothed my shirt down. He had gotten home well over an hour before me, but was still wasn’t ready. I glanced at my phone to check the time and yelled up the stairs for the third time. Finally, I heard footsteps on the stairs, and Dean sashayed into the room. “Don’t get your knickers in a knot, pumpkin. As long as you are not there after me, you are not late. This, ” he waves his hand up and down his body, “doesn’t just happen.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
He raised an eyebrow and tapped his foot.
I sighed and gave him what he wants. “You look beautiful, Dean.”
He smiled with fake humility. “Why, thank you, precious. You look… acceptable.”
I snorted. Acceptable was actually a huge compliment from Dean.
I leant forward and gave the obligatory air kisses, so I didn’t mess with his perfectly made up face, and we headed towards the door. We took a taxi the short way to Riley’s bar because Dean refused to walk, and my phone beeped on the way. I pulled it out, angling it away from Dean as I swiped it. Gabe sent me a message from the fake name I had his number under.
* * *
Where are you?
* * *
My reply was simple but would tell him the whole story.
* * *
Dean
* * *
Ahh. Enough said. LU.
* * *
LU2
* * *
The bar was already pretty busy when we got there. Gabe and a few of the other guys had snagged a table, but there was only one spare chair which Sam slid into with a cocky grin as I approached. Dean went to get us drinks while I greeted the guys and chatted about what everyone had been up to on their holidays. After handing me my drink, Dean zeroed in on a group of older guys a few tables away.
I took a deep breath, then sat on Gabe’s lap. It wasn’t like the guys hadn’t seen it before. We were always affectionate, sharing seats and drinks. But that was before. It had been a while. Gabe stiffened below me, but no one else even spared us a second glance. A couple of the guys went to play pool, while Katya, who we had gone to school with, told me stories of some of our less favourite classmates. We got a little excited over one of the bully’s misfortunes: the business he was apprenticed to got bought out buy a gay guy.
I must have been a little overly exuberant because Gabe pushed me off his lap and gestured towards an empty chair. He was frowning but didn’t say a word or meet my eyes.
* * *
When Katya headed off to join in the game of pool, she invited Gabe, but he declined gruffly, so she skipped off. I turned to Gabe’s conversation with Sam and a guy that he worked with, who I didn’t know. They were arguing over video types and technology stuff I didn’t know anything about. To be honest, I didn’t know Gabe did either. When I leaned in to hear better, Gabe got up and stomped off to the bathroom. I raised an eyebrow in question at Sam, but got a shrug in reply.
Excusing myself, I followed Gabe down the hallway to the bathroom, but he had headed into a stall, so I waited outside. A blond guy, maybe a few years older than me, paused as he passed, gave me a smile, and then lifted an eyebrow and nodded to the bathroom door. I hadn’t had time to reply when the bathroom door opened, and Gabe came out.
“Oh my Lord, there are two of you. Thank you, Aladdin. The last thing I rubbed wasn’t a magic lamp, but who am I to complain when all my wishes just came true?” said the blond guy.
“Back off, Sean.” Gabe stepped in front of me.
He stepped back with his hands up in a gesture of surrender and threw me a quick kiss before pushing through the bathroom door.
I glanced up and down the hallway quickly to check we were alone. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head.
“Gabe.” I didn’t need to say much, but the tone certainly worked.
He checked the hallway over his shoulder as well and then said quietly so I could barely hear. “I’m sorry, Tom. I just, shit… umm, sorry if I acted like an arse. You wouldn’t stop fucking wiggling on my lap, and I was getting hard. How the hell was I supposed to explain that?”
I burst out laughing. I could see Gabe wanted to be pissed at me, but his lips were twitching, so I figured I wasn’t in too much trouble. He
shoved me back towards the bar area, and I tried to control my laughter before we returned to the table.
We spend the next couple of hours chatting and playing pool until the guys from the table next to us played us for the table, and we got completely annihilated. We conceded defeat and resumed our conversations in our seats. Gabe was smiling and laughing more than I’d seen in a really long time, and I could only sit and watch. My chest felt warm and light, and I wondered how I survived the last eighteen months.
Sam’s friend and Gabe started up a conversation again, and he nodded towards the blond guy we ran into outside the bathroom, who was at the bar with his back to us. “So you hooked up with Sean again, huh?”
My grip on my beer tightened, but I stopped myself from looking at Gabe, instead closely inspecting the label on my beer bottle.
“Huh? What? I saw him in the bathroom,” Gabe said.
Sam’s friend’s light chuckle really grated. “And my question still stands. I don’t think you ventured beyond the cubicle last time, did you? Did you at least shut the door this time?”
I slowly leaned forward and placed my beer on the table, conscious of how tightly I was gripping it.
“Shut the fuck up, Dale. That was a long time ago and a one-time thing. Just leave it. And no, I didn’t hook up with him.”
I swallowed roughly but didn’t look over. I concentrated on not reacting.
“Dale, come and help me get a round,” Sam ordered as he stood.
I shook my head when Sam asked if I wanted another, but five minutes later he was placing another beer next to my empty one. I took a sip before my phone vibrated in my pocket. I fished it out, surprised to see the name Clarke, the name I’d changed Gabe’s to, on the screen.
* * *
Meet me outside near the stairs in 5. I need to talk to you
* * *
I wasn’t in the mood. I typed out an excuse, then deleted it, then typed another. I hadn’t answered yet when Gabe excused himself and headed towards the bathroom. My phone vibrated again before I had worked out a reply.
* * *
Please
* * *
No one paid any attention when I stood, so I didn’t bother with an excuse, but headed out the front door and turned towards the stairs to the under road walkway.
* * *
I leaned on the wall next to Gabe. We didn’t look at each other as we spoke.
“I… I didn’t want you going home and stewing on what he said without giving me a chance to explain.”
I sighed. “You don’t need to explain anything. We haven’t discussed what this is, and I…”
“What the fuck?” There was anger in his voice, but something more than that. Hurt.
“Are you serious, Tom? So what, we’re fuck buddies when you aren’t busy elsewhere?”
I wanted to reach out, but shoved my hands in my pocket instead. “No, G, that’s not what I meant. I meant… I just… fuck, I don’t know.” And I didn’t know.
“Tom, I’m not with anyone one else, but…”
I heard him swallow, and I shut my eyes as I leaned my head back against the rough brick before he continued.
“The last eighteen months I… I… fuck… I fucked around a lot. I was trying to escape what I thought was wrong with me, and fucking you out of my system was how I thought I could do it. And that’s… that’s when I did the videos. I’m sorry, Tom. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I was trying to process it, my mind racing, when the sound of a sniff caught my attention. I risked a look and saw his eyes shining with unshed tears.
“Fuck, G. Please don’t cry. Please. I’m not upset you slept with other people. There is nothing wrong with sex or enjoying it. I don’t give a fuck how many people you have been with. I’m upset you did it because of me, not because you wanted to. I’m upset because I know you well enough to know you probably weren’t always safe. I’m upset because...”
“No. No. T, I swear to God. I wouldn’t put you at risk. I… I had them run tests after I was in the hospital, and I’m negative. I don’t have anything, I swear.”
I pushed off the wall. “Jesus Gabe, I wasn’t worried about that either, you idiot. But you put yourself at risk.” I stepped closer without touching him. “That’s what I’m pissed about. You belong to me. Me. And I expect you to take better care of what’s mine. Do you understand?”
He nodded quickly.
I dropped my voice even lower, even though no one around could hear us.
“You belong to me. That’s never going to change. But I need you to look after yourself for you. You matter. You are worth looking after. I know you don’t really believe me right now, but I believe enough for both of us. You have this way of seeing things, this imagination I could only dream of. You have this light. I don’t think you have any idea what you are, G. But I do. You are the sun. You give me light, and warmth, and energy. You help me grow, and you have no fucking idea how brightly you shine, and I’m not going back to the cold and the dark. So fucking look after the centre of my universe okay?”
* * *
His tears spilled over and ran down his cheeks. He didn’t wipe them away, and neither did I. We didn’t touch, only held each other’s gaze as they ran down. After a couple of minutes, Gabe nodded.
I smiled at him, and his answering smile was a little shaky, but genuine.
After a few more minutes, we headed back into Riley’s and joined the banter without anyone noticing our absence.
* * *
The first couple of weeks after classes started back were busy. There was an awkward balance of trying to spend time together, but not ignoring the friendships we had formed over the past year and a half. Luckily, Dean picked up a few extra shifts at work, so we were able to have dinner at my place a few times a week in complete privacy.
Strangely, sex was the easy part. We have always been so in tune with each other’s bodies we know exactly what the other needed. I knew when Gabe was needy, he wanted me to take control more. I knew if he was stressed, he wanted me to be a bit rougher. I knew if he was relaxed and calm, he wanted only touch, whether sexual or completely innocent. I rubbed his back as he washed and rinsed the dishes; I pushed my thigh against his as he typed away on his phone. I petted his hair as his head laid in my lap while we watched a movie.
* * *
Gabe applied for a design project team at uni, and as the date of the final interview for participants came closer, he became more and more nervous. Although he had encouraged me to apply too, we both knew it wasn’t my thing. I was good at the work, I was doing well at university and I knew I would be a good architect, but I wasn’t as “out there” in my designs as Gabe was.While I liked to push the boundaries of the classics, he developed a vision and then attempted to beat the laws of physics into submission until he could make it work. Unfortunately he had a tendency to lose patience with the real world while he underwent this battle. He got short with me on the phone; he was jittery when I saw him in person. The afternoon before the interview, I told him to come to my place after work, knowing I had the place to myself while Dean was visiting his parents.
When he arrived, I sent him for a shower telling him to prep for me. He looked like he was second guessing, too jittery about tomorrow to want to follow my lead. I glared at him until he nodded. Then I went into the bedroom to make sure everything was where I needed it, while he took his time in the bathroom.
When he emerged a while later, he had put on a pair of my track pants, but no shirt. I had been overthinking things while he was in the shower, wondering if perhaps he needed to focus on tomorrow or maybe I ought to offer to run through some practice interview questions. Once I saw him hesitate in the doorway as he fidgeted with a loose thread at the waistband of my track pants, I relaxed, knowing exactly what he needed.
I had changed into a pair of old jeans that were worn and soft, but Gabe had commented they made my arse and thighs look spectacular. I walked towards him slowly, taking in his
slim but defined chest with rivulets of water running down through the light smattering of hair.
I stilled his fidgeting hand with mine, and I leaned forward to lick up one trail of water, loving the quiet gasp as my tongue ran past his nipple.
“Sit,” I ordered gently, motioning to the edge of the bed. He did as he was told, and I turned and retrieved a few items from my drawers. He watched each item but remained silent. I lifted the soft leather wrist cuffs and carressed them before meeting his eyes.
“I want to tie you to the bed, G. I want you to be completely at my mercy. I want to give you everything you need and take everything I want.”
I watched as a range of emotions cross his face and were then overtaken by heat. When he didn’t say anything in response I continued, “Will you let me do that, G?”
He nodded and then whispered, “Please”.
“Have you ever used safe words, G?”
When he shook his head, I was relieved. I hadn’t either and was new to this, but it felt so right with Gabe.
I held my hands out to him and he lifted his right hand to lay in mine. I lifted his hand and softly kissed the inside of his wrist before softly wrapping the cuff around it. I repeated the action with his other wrist and then gently held his jaw in both of my hands as I leaned in to softly touch my lips to his forehead.
“I’m not going to be gently with you, G. Once these cuffs are attached you won’t be able to move. But G, I don’t want to hurt you. If you need me to stop do you know the traffic light signals?”