by S Michelle
Just the thought of hurting G made my chest ache. The idea that anything I did with him bringing him pain was horrifying. I wanted to give him the world. I wanted to show him the beauty and love that he gave me everyday. I wanted to help him escape from the anxiety he had been feeling. To step above the the pressure and the stress. I wanted to see him fly.
He nodded. “Green for go, yellow for slow, and red for stop.”
I shook my head. “You won’t need green. I won’t be asking your permission. I will be taking what I want. You only need yellow and red. If you can’t speak, you click your fingers. Do you understand?”
I had never taken things this far, and I was pretty sure he hadn’t either, but I knew he trusted me, and I had to trust him to let me know if anything I did crossed the line. He took a moment longer to nod that time, but when he did, he took a deep breath, and the heat in his eyes mirrored my own.
* * *
I held my hand out and waited for him to place his hand in mine. Once I had both wrist cuffs firmly attached, I pulled the rope attached to the other side of the bed frame and set it where I thought I would need it, but did not attach the clips to his cuffs yet. I had other plans first. I turned and leaned against my desk, nodding towards the lube bottle I had left on the bed.
“Stand up. Turn around,” I said quietly but firmly.
Once he did as he was told, I smiled at the look of relaxed obedience on his face.
“Get yourself ready for me, G”. I watched him open the lube and rub some between his fingers to warm it.
“Be ready because I have no intention of being gentle,” I added as he leaned forward with one hand braced on the bed.
He pushed one lubed finger in quickly, working it in and out a few times before adding a second. After a little more lube, he pushed both fingers in as deep as they would go, scissoring his fingers a couple of times as his head dropped forward on a moan. He pulled his fingers free and reached for a small towel I had left with the supplies.
“You are going to need more than that, my angel. Otherwise, it is going to hurt.”
“I don’t need anymore. I want it to hurt. I want to fucking feel it when you take me.”
* * *
He was fucking perfect.
* * *
I stepped tentatively towards him, still using one crutch and hoping like hell trying this before my knee was completely healed wasn’t a mistake.
I directed him up onto the bed, laying on his back with his head on the edge of the bed in front of me so my groin was sitting above his head. I watched him: his eyes gazing up at me, his chest rising and falling at a quicker rhythm, betraying his excitement. I slowly undid the button fly and lowered the jeans only enough to pull my unrestrained cock free.
“Sweet Jesus,” I heard him moan. I saw the excitement in his eyes and heard the intake of breath when he realised I was wearing a cock ring. He reached quickly down and grasped the base of his cock so firmly the colour changed. He gritted his teeth before groaning, “You are trying to fucking kill me.”
I played gently with his hair for just a moment before roughly grabbing him under the arms and pulling him another couple of inches so his head fell off the side of the bed. I slapped my rock-hard, weeping cock against his cheeks and then tapped his lips. He knew to open for me without a word, and I shoved in to the base, filling his mouth and his throat without warning. He gagged around my cock as his hands reached up and gripped my hips. I ignored his silent pleas and kept myself as deep as I could go until I saw his eyes look alarmed, and I pulled all the way out.
He coughed and sputtered, drawing in ragged breath after ragged breath. I gave him a moment and then pulled his hair so his face was back where I needed it. “Open,” I growled.
“Again,” he croaked out, desperately.
I wrapped one hand around his throat so I could feel my cock sliding down with each thrust, alternating between small thrusts and pushing all the way in and holding until he was nearly ready to pass out. He grabbed at his dick several times, gripping the base to hold back his orgasm, and he was looking desperate.
I was nowhere near ready for this to be over, but I could certainly reward him for what he had given me so far. When I pulled out one last time to give him a small break, I ran the tip of my cock around his messy wet lips before pushing back in.
“Play with your nipples,” I demanded, knowing how sensitive they were.
I continued to thrust as he circled his nipples and then pinched softly, rubbing the hardened nub between his fingers and thumbs.
I watched his hips buck and his dick leak. When I knew he was struggling to hold on, I yelled, “Harder. Fucking come for me!” I thrust down his throat and held that position as his release spurted sweet hot cum across his abs, his chest, and all the way to his shoulder and chin. When he finally stopped, I pulled back, and he rolled to his side, gulping for air and coughing as l leaned on the edge of the bed for support. When he finally stopped long enough to fall back onto his back, I leaned forward and licked every last drop of cum from him.
“I am nowhere near finished with you yet, my little slut.” If I didn’t know it was impossible, I would have sworn his soft dick twitched when I called him that.
“Turn around, up on you knees. I want your arse up in the air, so I can see that beautiful hole” I ordered, and I strained forward to attach his cuffs to the fasteners on the rope. He was left kneeling on the edge of the bed, his chest down on the mattress and his arms restrained above his head.
As he continued to try to get his breathing under control, I ran a hand gently over his pert little butt. I stroked down his taint to his soft, perfect balls and squeezed them gently as he squirmed, obviously sensitive. The view of the sweet balls and soft beautiful dick were almost enough. Almost. Instead I took one more look at his pale, soft arse cheeks and slapped my hand down hard enough to make him scream. The mark, my mark, was mesmerising, and I did it again on the other cheek. His scream and curses added fuel to the fire as I smacked him two more times, three, four.
When I heard his voice break with a sob, I grabbed both his hips firmly, squeezing his arse cheeks apart, and shoved in roughly. I didn’t give him a moment to get used to it. I began to thrust in earnest, fuelled to go faster and harder at each sob. Each time he begged me to slow down, then to never stop. I reached down to confirm his dick was as hard as I thought, and it was already leaking begging for release again.
The force of my thrusts pushed his knees from the side of the bed, but I didn’t slow, didn’t give him a chance to adjust, just continued to thrust. Knowing I couldn’t last any longer, I flicked the cock ring off and grabbed for his dick, giving him one hard stroke.
“Come for me, my little slut.”
And the sound of his pained scream was drowned out by the roar in my head as my orgasm hit me. Wave after wave of bliss pounded me as I emptied more cum than I thought was possible into him. I’m not sure if I blacked out or if I consciously lay on top of him, but eventually when I became aware of myself again, I reached up to release his hands, slipped free of him slowly, and sank to the floor, my injured knee out to the side.
He didn’t move, simply lay there breathing heavily. As I looked up at my marks on him, my cum began to run out of his beautiful red, well-used hole and down his balls and his inner thighs. I moaned and reached forward, lapping it up and sucking at his tender arse to get every last drop.
Once I was finished, I lifted myself carefully to my feet and helped lift him to the bed. After wiping him gently with the second towel, I removed the wrist cuffs, kissing each reddened wrist before offering him some of the water I had left by the bed earlier. Finished, I curled my body protectively around my perfect, beautiful gift.
My angel slept peacefully and deeply. When I stirred in the morning, he was still completely out. Knowing he didn’t need to wake yet, I slid quietly out of bed and had a quick shower before prepping a few things in the kitchen. Done, I slid back into bed and wrapped myself around him. He bega
n to stir not long after, and when he stretched his breath caught and he groaned. I had been worried since I woke that I had been too rough with him. I knew he would be sore today, but if I had really hurt him I would never forgive myself. Then I worried the night before such a big day may not have been the time to leave him so sore. I wanted to take him out of the headspace where he overthought everything until it all just snowballed and he couldn’t cope.
I began playing with his hair as he gingerly turned in my arms and pressed his face into my chest.
His shoulders shook, and I realised he was crying.
“Baby?” I tried to pull his face away so I could see him.
He lifted his face and looked at me. “Thank you. Thank you so much. No one has ever… I didn’t think you… I… G… Thank you.”
Confused, I wiped his tears and kissed his soft cheeks. “Why are you thanking me?”
He took a minute to stop his crying before he answered.
“That was exactly what I needed. I didn’t even know I needed it. I was going to say no. I thought I needed to focus on today, but it was… it was nearly too much, and then you took me out of it all. You knew what I needed. You have always known what I needed. Thank you so much. It was perfect. You are perfect.”
I rubbed his back as my eyes filled with tears.
“Oh G, my angel, you were everything. Please tell me I didn’t hurt you?”
He shook his head. “No—well, yes, but… Nothing I didn’t want. I probably won’t be able to have sex for a few days. Or even sit without it hurting, but it was perfect. Please, T, I know you, and you worry just as much as I do, and you turn that worry into negative self-talk.”
I raised an eyebrow at him, and he huffed out a laugh, his breath tickling my chest. “My new therapist is good. She… she understands, and she is good for me, I think.”
“I’m glad,” I whispered. “Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”
He nodded, giving me a small smile.
I leant forward and kissed him gently. He immediately leaned into me, but I kept it light. When I pulled away, I told him to relax while I ran him a bath. He opened his mouth to decline, but thought better of it and nodded.
While he soaked in the bath I made us each an omelette and threw some pineapple, orange, watermelon, and coconut water in the Nutribullet. Once it was ready, I tapped on the open bathroom door and helped him from the bath, drying him gently while he watched me. Once he was dry, dressed, and fed, I wrapped my arms around him and whispered how much I loved him.
“I adore you G. I wish I had paid a bit more attention in English so I had the words to tell you how much I love you. God, I hope even without the right words that you know. I hope you know that I believe in you. That I am completely in awe of your talent. Watching you work, watching you create, it’s like magic. I am so fucking proud of you. Not just your work. Not just your designs. No matter how good they are, they are only a small part of you. You radiate beauty and I’m not talking about how you look. It’s something inside you that I can’t even define. But I am so grateful to be near you, to be with you. You amaze me everyday, my angel”.
* * *
We met up at the coffee shop after my shift, and he told me all about the interview, replaying as many of the questions as he could remember and bouncing up and down with excitement telling me about the opportunities they had outlined. Each time he moved and sucked in a breath due to the reminder of our playtime last night, I tried in vain not to smile.
After he was all talked out, he asked if we could go to the movies. Unable to say no to pretty much anything this man asked of me, I bought some tickets online. We headed home to change, then went to Grill’d for burgers and watched the most ridiculous comedy ever, laughing until we cried.
Other than grabbing each other’s hand a couple of times, the evening wasn’t physically intimate at all. But, hours later, eating the ice cream he ordered for me at the dessert bar without even having to ask me, I realised all the little things, the understanding, the trust we had, was just as intimate as anything we did in the bedroom.
* * *
A few days later we met at the coffee shop, grabbed drinks, and walked across to the pond in Victoria Park. My knee was feeling a little better, and I could put some weight on it, only using one of my crutches if I got tired. It was cold, so there weren’t many people out. After a few minutes of small talk, I decided it was time to dive in.
“So have you had a think about what you want? With us?”
Gabe glanced around nervously.
“There is no one around, Gabe,” I tried to reassure him.
“Still,” he started quietly. “Maybe this isn’t a conversation for a public park. Maybe it can wait until we have time to talk in private.”
I frowned for a moment. We had had plenty of time, but despite our good intentions, we both always got distracted…
I stopped walking, and Gabe stopped, glancing at me before going back to his drink.
“Each of those times, in private. You have been using sex to avoid the conversation, haven’t you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, clearly lying.
I sighed. “You know we need to talk about this. We can’t just ignore it. We have to make decisions. And we need a plan.”
“Of course,” Gabe said, picking up his speed so he stayed one pace in front of me.
8
After a busy couple of weeks, we were finally both free. Dean, Sam and a few of the guys from university were getting together for a barbeque, but Gabe and I really needed to talk, so I bailed on the barbeque and arranged for him to come over. This time, there would be no distracting me.
He texted to say he was running late from work, so I was tossing up ordering Thai versus pizza when I saw his car pull up through the window. Finally off the crutches for good, I hobbled across the foyer and opened the main door. Unfortunately, I pushed the screen door straight into the tray of coffees Gabe had in his hands, spilling it straight down him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck,” he exclaimed, hopping from foot to foot holding his drenched shirt off his body.
“Oh shit. Gabe, are you okay? Shit.”
He was still holding the tray even though all the coffee was spilled, so I grabbed it out of his hand and motioned for him to come inside. “Take those clothes off, and we need to run cold water on it. Fuck, G, I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t really answer other than muttering a few curses, but he did do as he was told. His left hand seemed to have taken the worst of it, his thumb and forearm looking very red. His chest wasn’t as bad as I feared, but it was still a little irritated. He shoved his clothes off as he went into the bathroom, and I turned the shower on, adjusting the water until it was cool but not too cold to stand under. Gabe jerked away from the water when he first felt it, but with a bit of cajoling, he managed to stand with the water running down his chest and hand.
I leaned against the sink, watching him stand under the stream of water. He hadn’t bothered shutting the shower door. For the first time in a few weeks, I was looking at him naked without there being anything sexual about it. I followed the water down his chest and stomach but purposely didn’t watch it run any further. Glancing at the pink skin on his chest, I swallowed roughly.
I had hurt him.
I’m not sure if I made a sound or Gabe was just that in tune with me, even in pain, but he looked up and frowned. “Stop it.”
My hand froze, and I realised I had been rubbing at my chest in the same place he was burnt.
“I’m sorry, G.”
He shook his head at me. “I meant it. Stop it. I’m fine. It was an accident.”
“How about your hand?” I asked quietly.
“Well, it’s pretty bad.”
My eyes shot to his hand as he held it under the water and then to his face, only to see him grinning.
“I’m not sure how well I can use it right now. I mean, burns can take a while to heal, so you might need to do all my
left hand’s duties for the foreseeable future.” He was still grinning, but I wasn’t really sharing his humour.
“It’s not funny, Gabe.”
“T, seriously, I am fine. The burn is really nothing. This cold water, however, is going to send my balls burrowing north for protection.” He reached up and turned the water off.
“Enough, okay? I’m really fine.”
I frowned but decided not to argue. He didn’t look too bad, and he wasn’t in too much pain to joke with me, so I stepped aside to reach for a towel and wrapped it around him. I towelled him dry, being extra careful over his chest and especially his left hand.
When I finished, he was looking at me so sweetly, I could only stood there dumbly, holding the wet towel. Eventually, I snapped out of it and stepped back “I…” My voice rough, I cleared my throat and tried again. “I wasn’t sure whether to order pizza or Thai. Which do you want? Or there is still some soup if you aren’t too hungry.” He shrugged as I stepped back into my bedroom and tossed the towel in the wash basket. “Grab whatever clothes you want and I will heat some soup then. There is still some bread too, I think.”
* * *
I busied myself putting the pumpkin soup in the microwave, cutting the breadstick into slices, and putting some butter on.
When I sensed Gabe behind me, I looked up. He was leaning against the arm of the lounge, completely bare. I stood in the kitchen with the knife still hovering in the air as he just watched me. A clap of thunder startled me out of my daze.
“Umm, you’re still naked,” I stammered. The room lit up with another strike of lightning.
He smiled at me. “How observant of you. You told me to grab whatever clothes I wanted. I didn’t want any.”
I tossed the knife in the sink and walked over to him. Lifting his left hand, I examined the pink skin. Objectively, I knew he was right, and the burn was minor, but I still hated that I had hurt him.