by S Michelle
He gripped my hand to show me he was fine and leaned forward to nuzzle his face into my neck. “You seem to be a little overdressed for the occasion,” he murmured into my ear.
“We need to talk first,” I said, but my body was betraying my rational mind by leaning in closer to him so that our hips were lined up.
“We will talk. I promise, T. But I need you. Please. Then we will talk.”
I knew it was a bad idea, but the low moan that came from my throat when he licked up the side of my neck did nothing to discourage him. He let go of my hand to work his way under my shirt and up my back, pulling me even closer. His hips rocked forward gently against my jeans, seeking friction. My hands ran around his hips, gently cupping his arse.
There was no rush. We had plenty of time to enjoy each other. Plenty of time to talk. Plenty of time to work out all the rest. Right now, I wanted to enjoy the comfort of his hands on my back, the warmth of his breath as it ghosted against my neck, the fit of his body against mine, the hardness of his cock, gliding against my own. He murmured something, but I couldn’t hear it above the sound of the rain.
When I didn’t answer, he shoved my shirt up and roughly pulled it over my head. Leaning forward, he licked and nipped at one nipple, then gave the other the same attention, pulling more moans from me. His hands pushed at the waistband of my track pants, shoving them down along with my underwear. Lowering himself to his knees, he kissed his way down my stomach to my hip and then tapped each foot in turn to get me to lift my foot out of my pants. He nuzzled his nose into my groin before licking up my hard cock to the tip. My cock jumped, bumping him on the nose. He chuckled as he took my cock in his mouth.
Sucking gently down and up, his hands fondled my balls one at a time, pulling on them as his tongue teased the slit. He was rewarded with a bead of moisture, and he smiled at me as he licked. Then he slowly stood and kissed me, licking into my mouth. As the kiss deepened, he held my face in his hands, sweetly and gently.
My hands stroked his back, one moving down to cup his arse. My finger teased the top of his crease, and he moaned into my mouth. I broke the kiss to gulp in some much-needed air.
He gently pushed on my chest to get me to step back. I frowned at him, and he smiled.
“Lube,” he said, stepping towards my room.
I watched him go, admiring the way the muscles in his arse flexed as he walked. We were certainly not big or built like the guys who lived at the gym, but there was enough definition there to keep me completely spellbound as he walked.
“Fuck, I don’t spend anywhere near enough time walking behind you and truly appreciating this view.” He glanced over his shoulder at me, smiling, and did a little wiggle before disappearing into my room.
I closed my eyes and let my head fall back, stroking my cock but not enough to move things along. Another clap of thunder made me jump, and I opened my eyes. Gabe walked towards me, his hand leisurely stroking his own cock. When he reached me, he tossed the lube on the lounge. He kissed me as he lined our cocks up together and gripped them both in his hand. I broke the kiss to lean my forehead against his, unable to stand, breathe, and kiss all at the same time.
“T, please” he moaned. “Fuck. I need you to fuck me. I want to ride you. Please.”
I loved that as much as he was happy to let me take charge, he was also happy to tell me what he wanted, exactly how he wanted it. We were practically breathing into each other’s mouths, so he must have felt the sharp gasp before I nodded gently against his forehead.
I moved away to look into his eyes. “You douched?”
He nodded.
“And you just had a shower?”
He tilted his head, wondering where I was going, before he nodded again. I wasn’t sure quite how to ask.
“Have you… I mean, can I …. I wanted… I mean, if you…” I huffed out a breath.
Gabe stayed still and watched me, giving me the time to get the words together.
“Well you douched, and you had a shower, so I was wondering if I could… umm. Have you been rimmed before?”
His eyes widened. “No… I …. No…. umm, is that… have you?”
I shook my head, feeling a bit silly to be shy about this. “No, I mean, I haven’t done it… or you know…had it done either… but I was… I think I want to… to you... I mean with you—you know what I mean.” I groaned and pushed my face into his neck as he chuckled at my awkwardness.
He pulled my face away from his neck and kissed me on my forehead as he murmured, “God, I love you.” Then he steadied me on my feet, spun around, and kneeled on the lounge. A shake of his arse as he looked over his shoulder at me melted my nerves. “C’mon, fuck me with your tongue, sweetheart.”
His confidence was contagious, and I grinned back at him, blown away yet again by how cocky he now was with me. I stepped forward and ran my hands over his arse, gently kneading before separating the cheeks to see that perfect pink pucker.
“Fuck, G, your arse is perfect. It’s smooth and just… fuck.” I knelt behind him and kissed his cheeks before playfully taking a small bite.
“Hey!”
This time I chuckled before kissing the spot where faint marks remained from my teeth. I loved how we could play and make each other smile and laugh. I wanted to make him laugh again, so I licked straight up one cheek. He flinched a little before I said, “I licked it so it’s mine.” I felt his rumbling laugh rather than heard it.
I parted his cheeks again and tentatively kissed his cheek, then gently licked along his crease. I wanted to try this—I wanted to feel him like this—but I was still a little tentative.
But this was my G. Mine.
I licked slowly along his crease again.
“Fuck, babe,” he breathed.
He tasted like clean skin, but the heat was intoxicating, and the intimacy was incredible. I licked around his pucker, lightly at first. Then, spurred on by his moans and murmured nonsense, I increased the pressure of my tongue. I adjusted my hands to grip his arse tighter, holding his cheeks apart, wanting more, needing to be closer. I alternated between licking around that sweet pucker and gentle suckling.
G arched his back and pushed back against me. I wanted to do this for him, but I hadn’t realised how good it would feel, how loving, how incredibly erotic. I speared my tongue into his softening pucker, a little at first, unsure if he would like it. His incoherent mumbles were now practically sobs as I pushed my tongue in and out of him. Suddenly, he rocked forward, almost slumped against the back of the lounge.
Concerned, I raised to my feet and leaned over his back, wrapping my arms around his chest. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”
He took a moment, but my concern melted away when I saw the grip he had on the base of his dick. “Yes,” he stammered, “you nearly made me come. And I don’t want to do that without your dick in me. So you better hurry up and get with the fucking.”
I did as I was told and scrambled to slick myself with lube. When I went to pour a bit more lube on my fingers to prep him, Gabe reached back and grabbed my wrist. “Not too much. I’m not going to need it. And I want to feel you. I want to still be able to feel you when I’m at work next week.”
“Fuck, you and your smart mouth want this over quick, don’t you?” I breathed, unsure if he could hear me over the rain pelting down on the roof. I lined myself up with his sweet little hole, pushing through the outer ring of muscle easily.
I paused in case he needed a moment, but he begged, “Please, T, please, I’m fine. I need you. Please, fuck me, please”
Not wanting to hurt him, no matter what he said, I had to concentrate to control myself as I eased forward. When my hips were flush against him, I leaned forward and kissed him between his shoulder blades, gently rocking my hips. I pulled out slowly and pushed back in, testing my own patience and trying to hold back to enjoy this feeling as long as possible. Gabe reached back with one hand and to grab my hip.
“Wait.”
; I stilled. He eased forward until my cock slipped free. I moaned, desperately missing that tight heat. He shuffled on his knees and motioned with his hand for me to sit. “I need to see you. I want to ride you.”
I sat on the lounge and grabbed his hips as he reached one leg over to straddle me. I helped him with one hand as he grabbed my cock and lined himself up. Slowly, he lowered himself until nothing but the head of my cock was nestled back home. I tried to slow my breathing down, but then he dropped himself to my thighs, sheathing my dick in his tight heat. I grasped his hips hard enough to leave marks for days.
“Fuck, G, fuck.”
I needed a minute, but Gabe wasn’t going to give me one, lifting himself again and slamming back down as he yelled my name. He grabbed at my upper arms and pressed his head forward onto my shoulder as he continued to fuck himself on me. I thrust up into him as his hips met mine. Based on the loud groans and curses, I had gotten the angle right to hit his prostate each time. I knew I couldn’t last much longer. I reached forward to grab his rock-hard cock, determined to hold on until I saw him fall off the cliff.
“Fuck, G, this is too good. Feeling your heat, I want to fill you with my cum.”
My words were enough to tip him over the edge. Gabe called my name as he came, shots of cum landing across my hand and my stomach. The sight of his release pushed me over the edge too, and I gripped him as I yelled, and my vision blurred. My orgasm barely waned when I realised the cursing was not my voice or Gabe’s.
* * *
“What the fuck!”
“Oh shit!”
“Fuck! What the fuck!”
“Huh? Who the fuck?”
* * *
Multiple voices filled the lounge room. I looked over Gabe’s shoulder to meet Dean’s eyes, and I froze. Gabe realised what was happening only a moment after. He scrambled off my lap at the same time we heard the sound of yelling and shoving, followed by a door slamming. Gabe looked around frantically, then ran down the hall towards my room.
I couldn’t move. I was frozen in fear. Still sitting there with Gabe’s cum covering me. I knew I needed to move; I needed to say something. But I wasn’t even breathing.
* * *
The look on Sam’s face was almost one of apology, but I didn’t have time to work that out because the look on Dean’s face was pure disgust and fury. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I scrambled for a cushion to at least cover my cock. “Dean, it’s not… it’s not what it looks like…” I knew it was ridiculous, but I had no words.
He stepped back towards the door. “Really, because it looks like you were fucking your brother. You sick fuck.” With that, he turned and ran out the door, slamming it to the sounds of shouted questions and knocks.
Sam stepped towards me, and I flinched. He reached for a blanket on the arm of the lounge and tossed it to me.
I knew he needed to call me names and tell me how disgusting I was, but right now I needed to get to Gabe. I glanced down the hall, then to the door Dean ran out of, and then to Sam.
“You need to take a deep breath, clean yourself up, and go check on Gabe. I will see what damage control I can do outside.” With that, he turned and walked to the door, closing it gently behind him.
I stood, but couldn’t take a step. My hand went to my mouth as I realised what just happened.
Oh God.
I needed to get to Gabe, but my legs wouldn’t work. My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground. Sobs broke free from my chest, and the entire ocean of guilt and pain crashed into me.
* * *
G, baby, what have I done?
* * *
Sobs continued to rack my body until I felt Gabe beside me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and lifted me gently to my feet. I tried to stop, to breathe, to help him, but my body wouldn’t cooperate, and my mind couldn’t make it. Gabe manoeuvred me onto my bed, and I curled into a ball, clinging to the blanket Sam gave me.
I felt cold as soon as Gabe pulled away, but he quickly returned with a warm cloth, wiping me clean and drying me. Once he finished, he tossed the cloth and blanket aside, pulled the doona up, and wrapped himself around me, holding me as I cried myself to sleep.
* * *
When I woke, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. It took a moment to remember the events of last night. My eyes flung open before the harshness of the sun stung and I had to close them again against the morning light. I was almost scared to move. Perhaps if I wasn’t awake, then I wouldn’t have to deal with what happened last night. As my mind began to wake, I realised without moving that I was alone. I rolled my head to confirm what I already knew. Gabe was gone. I hadn’t even noticed I was crying again until I moved my head and realised my pillow was wet. I shouldn’t have had any tears left to cry.
* * *
He was gone.
* * *
It was all over.
9
All the time I thought we had. It was over. Dean, Sam, our friends. Oh God, our parents. Oh God. This will kill them.
* * *
I walked slowly, my knee stiff but numb to any lingering pain, out to the kitchen, unsure if I was more scared that someone would be here or more scared they wouldn’t. The place was empty. I wandered back to the bathroom, thinking I should probably have a shower and get dressed even though I never intended to leave home ever again.
* * *
Gabe.
God, I need to find Gabe and make sure he is okay.
* * *
As I walked into the bathroom, I saw it: a note against the mirror. I looked at it for a moment before shutting my eyes. Unsure I wanted to read what I knew was within, I held it as I walked back to my bed and sat on the edge. I stared at the folded note a while longer until I could bring myself to open it.
* * *
T
I’m sorry
Sorry that this is how things worked out.
I need some time to sort through things.
Please look after yourself.
I’m sorry
G
* * *
I sat and held the note in my hands. And that’s where I still was when Sam found me.
He sat next to me, gently saying my name. I could hear him, but I didn’t know how to move.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “I’m so sorry it ended like this.”
As it turned out, there were a limited number of tears a person can cry. Hearing him say the word ended broke my heart. It was ended.
* * *
Sam continued to talk to me, but I had no idea what he said. I didn’t think it mattered. Someone was here. He was talking to me.
* * *
Eventually, I lifted my head “Sam?” I croaked.
“Yeah, Tom?”
Even after I tried to clear my throat, my voice still sounded like gravel. “Why are you here?”
He looked at me, puzzled.
“I mean why don’t you hate me like Dean? Why didn’t you run like Gabe?”
* * *
He pulled back a little more so he could look me in the eyes. “Gabe didn’t run. He just needed some space. When I left, he was talking to Dr Emery on the phone. He needed to work through this. I know that may not seem fair, but you two aren’t just two halves. You are also two separate people, and he needs to do this. Don’t give up on him. He wasn’t running from you.”
I tried to digest what he was saying before he continued.
“And neither am I. I had to follow Dean last night. He was angry and shocked. Which I guess is fair enough. But I didn’t want him doing something stupid. I can’t guarantee that he won’t, but he had calmed down a bit when I left him this morning. Now do you need anything? Other than a shower? Because I can tell you, you for sure need a shower.”
* * *
After he guided me to the bathroom, he grabbed me some pyjamas while I showered. I felt slightly more human when I was clean and in my pyjamas. When I walked into the kitchen this time
, Sam handed me a mug of tea.
“Drink that. I need to get to work. Do you need anything else?”
* * *
I shook my head, too exhausted to even care.
* * *
The next two days were just replays of the same. I stared at my phone. Picked it up to call Gabe. Was worried he wouldn’t answer anyway. Was even more scared that he would. So I put my phone back down.
This was why he left at the beginning of last year. To avoid all this. What would I even say to him? Hey, sorry I ruined your life.
* * *
I hadn’t heard from Gabe by Friday morning. I didn’t really think I would. Knowing didn’t stop it hurting. I was supposed to work later this morning, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through it. What if they knew? A few of our friends got coffee there. How far had the story gone? What had I done to Gabe?
I was getting dressed for work when my phone rang. I glanced at it. Mum. Oh God no. Dean. Did he call them already? I couldn’t answer it. I couldn’t listen to her disgust and disappointment. I let it ring out.
As I turned away it, rang again. I silenced it and went and had a glass of water. I thought about ignoring it. But if everyone knew, there really wasn’t much point in turning up at work. I sat at the table and stared at my phone for a while before listening to the message.
* * *
“Thomas. Call me back as soon as you can. I need to speak to you. Today.”
* * *
I pushed my phone away and stared at it across the table. Fuck, just do it.