Ignoring her growing doubt, Hamish began to lead Merry around. “Let go,” he repeated. “Don’t try to ride Merry, just feel her and move with her as she rocks you side to side. Look forward, not down, and when you feel like you might fall, hold on to her mane and right yourself again.”
Meriel felt herself grabbing Merry’s mane often, but as she became used to the sensation, she relaxed and realized that her being so tense was contributing enormously to her struggle to maintain her balance.
“Now, I’ve been leading Merry, but she is a trained horse and will respond to your commands. To make her move forward, squeeze her with your calves, keeping the reins loose. Remember to rock with her to keep your balance.”
“What if I want her to stop?”
“Then use the reins. Don’t yank them, merely apply pressure. Try it.”
Nervous, Meriel swallowed, but when Hamish let go, she gave Merry a nudge and the horse moved forward. In the past, she had kicked Merry to get her to move, which had always worked, but abruptly. Now Merry began to walk and Meriel did not feel the need to grab on to something.
“Now, make her stop.” Meriel gave a slight tug to the reins and Merry immediately responded. “Now, do it again,” Hamish instructed as he went to mount his own horse to join her.
They circled the field several times. With her growing ease at dealing with her horse, Hamish decided to see if Meriel would be comfortable with more. He never really believed they would get this far today, but then he had not realized that it was not inability but sheer fear keeping her from being able to ride.
They stopped and he jumped down to make sure that the girth on her saddle was still tight. “Now, riding at this pace will take too much time to get anywhere.”
Meriel laughed in delight at her new skill. “I knew this was too easy. If we had traveled this slowly from Caireoch, I doubt I would have had an issue.”
“Ha! We barely managed get beyond a trot, but I promise you that by the end of today’s lesson, you will be able to keep pace with Craig as you ride home!”
Enjoying the gentle sparring as much as he did, Meriel stretched forward to pet Merry’s mane and teased him back. “Aye, Master Hamish. I shall be a dutiful student and learn under your humbling tutelage.”
Hamish felt himself warm with pride. Pure happiness was sparkling in Meriel’s eyes, and it was because of him. He had made her smile. He had made her laugh, and in doing so he had never felt so much like a man. “Now, to move faster, all you have to do is squeeze your legs just a little more than you did for a walk.”
Feeling much more confident, Meriel did as instructed, or at least thought she had. But at the last moment, Merry lurched forward. Alarm shot through Meriel as she realized that she had done something seriously wrong. Instinctively, she stiffened and pulled on Merry’s mane as the horse bolted away toward the loch.
“Make her stop!” she screamed in terror, as if Hamish could magically order the horse to halt from what was rapidly becoming a distant spot. Soon the grass would thin and be interspersed with rocks. Meriel was about to throw herself off in a panic when she heard him shout, “The reins! Remember the reins!”
Immediately, Meriel yanked them as hard as she could. A second later, she was in the air. Her last thought before she hit the ground was that she should have jumped when she had the chance. Her back met the earth and the pain of the collision was at first startling but nothing compared to the terror of not being able to breathe.
The moment Hamish saw Merry rear up, launching Meriel into the air, sheer black fright had swept through him. Vaulting onto his mount’s back, he urged the horse into a gallop. Her limp body sent a new wave of terror through him and Hamish bellowed, “No!” as he launched himself to her side.
Pulling her into his arms, her chest began to move again and he could see her visible fear turn into relief. He knew then what had happened. The fall had knocked the wind out of her. “Don’t touch me,” Meriel protested.
Hamish laid her back down and began to check her for broken bones. “Are you hurt anywhere?”
“I hurt everywhere, you stràiceil amadan. And I think you should know that I have decided to never listen to any man ever again.”
Hearing her attempt at humor, Hamish’s own heart began to beat again. He closed his eyes and gathered her tight in his arms. She was right. He was an arrogant simpleton. He was also an incredibly thankful man that she had not been seriously injured.
Opening his eyes, he looked down and saw her studying him. She was so beautiful, and for the moment she was all his. Suddenly, Hamish wanted her more than he had ever thought it possible to want any woman. Putting his free hand to her cheek, he held her face and then drew her startled lips to his, silently urging her to comply. Slowly, he moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck. Had skin ever felt so soft? So luxurious? Part of him knew he should end the gentle kiss, but he could not bring himself to do so while she did not resist.
Hamish continued to brush his mouth tenderly across hers, taking his time, determined not to scare her. He felt her shiver, but she still did not pull away. His fingertips soothed her back in the gentlest of touches, afraid that at any moment her small hands on his chest might shove him away. But they did not. Instead, their warmth burned through the material of his leine and into his skin.
What had begun as an urge to satisfy a secret longing was quickly growing into primal desire. Part of Hamish longed to ravage her mouth and taste what he knew would be unforgettable sweetness. But he knew if he did that, there would be no stopping him.
When at last his lips released hers, Meriel’s chest heaved with the effort it took to breathe. While she had not intended to kiss Hamish, when his lips locked with hers, instinct and curiosity had compelled her to let him continue. Her last conversation with Craig had given her pause to wonder whether the intense passion and need she felt with him resulted from their close friendship and therefore could be experienced with any close friend. But if such desire could be found with someone other than Craig, Meriel knew almost instantly that it would not be with Hamish.
The embrace had been sweet, enjoyable, and prior to kissing Craig, she might have believed it to be one of the better kisses she had ever received. But it did not make her heart pound or her pulse race even half as much as the small peck on the cheek she had given Craig earlier that day.
“Marry me,” Hamish whispered, stroking her cheek.
Startled, Meriel shook her head and stammered, “W-w-what did you say?”
“I asked you to marry me. After that kiss, you cannot deny we are compatible physically, and I think the past few weeks have proved that we could be really happy together.”
Meriel wiggled to get enough room to sit upright. “Hamish, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you could love me, for I believe I have fallen in love with you.”
Meriel shifted so that there was now slightly more distance between them. “Hamish, I already do love you in many ways. You are one of the best men I have ever known. I love your heart, your outlook on life, your fierce loyalty, your ability to see the true person within, without judgment. And while we are and will always be good friends, we would never make each other happy if we married.”
Hearing those words, Hamish leaned back and took a deep breath. Exhaling, he removed his ponytail and raked a hand through his auburn hair. “I really misjudged things, didn’t I? I seem to be doing that a lot lately.”
Meriel reached forward and cupped his face in her hands. “Don’t say that,” she said emphatically before dropping her hands to her lap. “You and I would perhaps get along too well. And while some couples need calm and serenity to make a marriage work, it would doom any relationship you and I were in. We may seem like carefree and agreeable people, you and I, but to be happy, we need to be with someone who ignites a flaming passion within us. You, even more so.”
“I could argue with you, but it would not change anything. You love Craig and that fool d
oes not deserve you.”
Meriel smiled and shook her head. “No, he does not. But you do deserve much, much more than me. Someday you are going to fall in love, and when it happens you will understand why I cannot make you truly happy. She will make your heart leap and at the same time frustrate you to the point of insanity. She will push you, excite you, and in all ways be your equal. Wait for her.”
Hamish pushed himself onto his feet with a grunt. “I did wait, my lady. Problem is, the woman you describe just turned down my offer of marriage.”
Meriel rolled her eyes. “When you find the real woman of your dreams, I want an apology, followed by a long speech on how right I am.”
Hamish offered his hand and pulled her to her feet. “Then I am quite fortunate, for the possibility of most men finding the woman of their dreams is so remote, it borders on impossible.”
“Four McTiernays can prove you wrong.”
“Ah, but I am not a McTiernay—” Hamish did not finish his thought, for it had completely slipped his mind. It had been replaced with one that he should have known was coming.
Hamish watched as Craig slid off his horse. His friend’s face was filled with rage and all of it was pouring onto him. Stepping away from Meriel, Hamish raised his hand, but before he could utter a single word, Craig’s fist met his jaw, sending him spiraling to the ground in a way that few had ever dared to try—and until now, no one had ever succeeded.
Chapter 9
Time had been moving slowly since the moment Craig watched Meriel and Hamish leave the castle. But it had come to a complete stop when Meriel’s horse had thrown her into the air. And it was his fault.
Craig had almost decided to stay behind, keeping his promise to see to his own personal comfort before Meriel’s. But he could not do it. Although Meriel had never said so aloud, he knew just how afraid of horses she truly was. As a result, he found himself watching them, forced to keep a significant distance away to remain unseen, waiting for the doomed lesson to fail.
But it had not failed.
Hamish had done the impossible and Meriel, who could barely touch a horse when standing, had walked with one, fed it, and then rode on its back without any assistance. Craig had told himself to leave now that he knew she was not going to be maimed or injured, but he could not tear his eyes away from the scene. Part of him was pleased that she was finally learning the basics of riding, but whatever happiness he felt was drowning in resentment that it was Hamish who had helped her conquer her fear.
For the first time, the fires of true jealousy burned within Craig.
Hamish flirted. He charmed. He dallied. And he successfully lured women to his side time after time. He had done so ever since Craig had known him. And to think that Meriel would be indifferent to his wiles had been foolish. Teaching someone how to ride was far from a typical romantic interlude, but in Meriel’s case it was the perfect way—if successful—to woo her. And seeing Meriel easily guide the horse around the field, Hamish was definitely succeeding. The man had already secured her friendship. But if things continued, Craig wondered if their own bond would be enough to keep her from falling in love with his friend. And so he had begun to pray for something—anything—to end the happy moment.
Then it happened. Meriel was tossed high into the air and Craig knew the fall would be painful, and possibly even cause serious injury. And while it was ridiculous to think that he had caused the accident, deep down he believed himself to be partially at fault.
He watched her hit the ground and go limp. Craig’s heart stopped. Then she moved her hand to her throat and he realized she was having trouble breathing. Grabbing his horse, he fought back the icy terror ricocheting through his veins. If something happened to her, his life would be empty, meaningless. Then Hamish gathered her in his arms and the twisting pain in his stomach changed from panic to fury.
Craig knew even before it happened that Hamish was going to kiss her. The abundance of emotion—fear, relief, and desire—made it inevitable. But when their lips touched and Meriel did not offer resistance, Craig’s heart turned to stone and the sweat on his body chilled. He brought his horse to a walk and let the rage consume him.
Seething, Craig slid off his horse even before it came to a complete stop and glared at Hamish, refusing to even spare a single glance at Meriel. He didn’t dare. Craig considered himself the calmest of his brothers, saving his anger for the battlefield, but he could not remember ever feeling so much rage at someone he knew personally. And on some level, knowing Meriel was also the target of his anger and afraid of losing all control, he kept his attention totally focused on the man who had turned his life into a daily hell.
If Hamish had said anything, muttered an excuse, or pleaded for understanding as he approached him, Craig was unaware. By the time his fist met Hamish’s chin, all the pent-up emotion that had been gathering as he watched them exploded.
What little anger he had dispelled by driving Hamish to the ground was quickly replaced the moment Meriel rushed to Hamish’s side and examined the man’s cheek. As if Hamish could be hurt by one simple crack to the jaw. The man was slightly shorter than him, but his girth was substantial; he was broader than Craig and all his brothers—including their eldest, Conor. Craig had the advantage of speed, but Hamish was made of granite, and while Meriel might be unaware, both men knew Hamish had gone down because he had decided to fall.
Based on the pain radiating through Craig’s hand, he should have been receiving Meriel’s ministrations, not Hamish. He was about to say as much when she pivoted to glare at him. “What possessed you to do that?”
For an instant Craig’s eyes shut, and when he opened them again all expression had been removed. Only the heavily etched lines around his eyes and mouth being a little deeper than usual gave any indication to just how turbulent his emotions were. “You know why.”
His voice, a soft menace, sent a shiver through her, but then, as if rallying to Craig’s battle cry, she rose to her feet, her hazel eyes sparkling with indignation, and said, “Do I? Was it because Hamish was able to teach me how to ride when you could not? Perhaps it was because I fell off? Or was it that he was the one who made sure that I was not injured?” She took a step forward, either unaware or uncaring just how blazingly furious he was. “It could be that he kissed me. But if it was because I kissed him back—then I should be the one on the ground.”
Craig’s face hardened. He felt empty, angry, and cold. “It is time you left, Meriel.”
Hamish, hearing the dangerous softness in Craig’s voice, coupled with his ominous expression, silently agreed that it would be better if she departed. Sitting up just enough to lean on an elbow, he said, “Meriel, maybe you should ride Merry back to the castle while I take care of this.”
Meriel whirled to face Hamish. She could feel herself losing what little composure she had left as adrenaline pumped through her, causing her to tremble violently. She struggled for composure, but soon realized that his condescending words had been meant not for her, but for Craig. Lying on the ground, Hamish had propped himself on his side with his legs casually extended, crossed at the ankles. The man was purposefully appearing unconcerned just to further infuriate Craig.
Meriel leveled a wintry smile on Hamish and then an even colder one on Craig. If the two of them wanted to play games and provoke each other, she wanted none of it. “You return with Merry. I need to walk and will go back to the castle when I decide I am ready,” she said, somewhat mollified to see Hamish wince at the scathing tone of her voice. Meriel pivoted and began to march away from the two men, praying she would be out of sight by the time she broke into tears.
A strained silence followed as Hamish and Craig stared at each other. Only when Meriel was out of earshot did Craig take in a slow, deep breath. “Get up,” he ordered.
Hamish grunted. “I have absolutely no intention of doing anything so foolish. Especially as I am fairly certain I would end up down here again. And I suspect in a lot more pain.”
> Clenching and unclenching his right hand, Craig’s mouth tightened. Unless he planned to roll around on the ground, he knew he would not get another opportunity to deck Hamish, but he was mollified that Hamish recognized just how dangerous it would be for him to rise. “How dare you kiss Meriel!” Craig finally spat out.
“How dare I?” Hamish returned, his own bridled anger coming out in his voice. “How dare you for spurning the only decent, let alone beautiful woman who would ever put up with your nonsense. I should get up and knock you down just for hurting Meriel as much as you have.”
“If that is true, then that is between her and me. Not you.”
“You mean was between you and her. You have a problem, because I am no longer a bystander but an interested suitor.”
Hamish’s sardonic expression sent Craig’s temper soaring once again. “I will not let Meriel be added to your list of conquests,” Craig promised.
“Nor would I,” Hamish agreed, “but I also will no longer stand by and let you toy with her emotions. You cannot barge in on our time together, acting as if you have been wronged, when it is you that has no intention of ever offering her any kind of commitment.”
Appalled silence filled the air for several long seconds as Craig studied Hamish’s expression and could find only honesty. “You cannot be earnest,” he said roughly, already knowing the response.
Hamish scoffed. “What did you expect? That since you didn’t want Meriel, no one else would? Or were you dumb enough to believe that men would fear pursuing her if you remained her friend?”
The truth hit Craig full force. “Of course not.”
Hamish waved his hand and sat up, but still did not rise. Resting his arms on his knees, he said, “Lie to yourself then, but it no longer matters. Meriel now knows that she wants to be loved and is worthy of being loved. If you haven’t already, you will lose her.”
Michele Sinclair - [McTiernays 05] Page 23