Blow

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “My mom thinks you walk on water. I bet you’ll have fun tomorrow when you and Natalie go shopping with her.”

  Kim’s eyes light up, but then she bites her lip. “I have to admit, I’m a bit scared.”

  “Don’t be. You’re going to be treated like royalty, and my mom…well, she’s always wanted a daughter.” I shrug and sip my iced tea.

  Kim takes me by the hand and leads me over to a lounge chair, pulling me down next to her so we’re sitting together. I like this, being able to hold her.

  “How long have Brayden and Natalie been dating? I’ve never read anything about them.”

  “They’re not, that’s why. She’s his best friend and he swears that’s all they’ll ever be. He helps take care of Maggie because her dad is in and out of her life.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  “It is, but my parents love Maggie. She’s living the life right now. And if I’m not mistaken, she has a bedroom here.”

  Kimberly watches everyone for a bit, including my mom, who is now in the pool playing with Maggie. “She wants grandchildren.”

  “Don’t I know it.” I purposely look away from Kim, afraid of what her reaction might be. We’re not even a full month into dating, and I don’t want to scare her off with talk of kids. Besides, I’m nowhere near ready to be a dad. I can’t take care of myself, let alone be responsible for someone. Having Maggie around is enough for me. I can admire from afar, buy presents when it’s her birthday, and watch her leave with her mother. It’s a win-win for a guy such as myself.

  Kim shifts slightly away from me and I don’t like it. I don’t want her to think children aren’t something I want. They are, just not now or in the next few months. Pulling her into my arms, I kiss her below her ear, nuzzling her there until she leans into me.

  “Do you want to go swimming?”

  “I didn’t bring my suit.”

  “My mom has a whole shit-ton of swimsuits in the pool house. Designers send her so much crap it’s not even funny. Want to see if you can find one you like?”

  She nods and reaches for my hand. “We’ll be right back,” I tell everyone as we make our way into the pool house to change.

  Carson and Brayden catcall from the pool, yelling that they hope we don’t take too long. I flip them off, only for my mother to chastise me. She thinks Maggie never hears any bad words or sees anything that might damage her young mind, and as much as we try to protect her from our foul language, her father is no shining example.

  Chapter 21

  Kimberly

  I’m exhausted, and it’s from a lack of sleep. It’s clear to me how and why Bodhi became hooked on coke. Coke keeps you awake, and in his life, being awake is almost demanded of you. I don’t know what I expected when I came up here, but this wasn’t it. Maybe I’m the romantic type, the rainbows-and-unicorns type. Or maybe I’m just blinded by the world I live in, which has structure and routine. Bodhi’s life is anything but.

  Gabriela told me we’d leave to go shopping shortly after ten, and when the alarm on my phone went off a little before nine, I continued to hit snooze until I was at the point where I had to get up or cancel my plans with her. Canceling meant I wouldn’t be able to attend the awards show later because I wouldn’t have a dress, and I didn’t want to do that to Bodhi.

  What shocked me the most is that as many times as my alarm went off, Bodhi slept through it. I know part of a cocaine addiction means you sleep less, but I would’ve thought he caught up on his sleep while staying at Serenity Springs. Even as I slipped out of bed, he didn’t budge. And as I watched him sleep, the thought of crawling back into bed with him was tempting. But tonight is important to him, and the last thing I want to do is let him down.

  Coming down the wide and long staircase, I imagine what the house must look like when it’s decorated for Christmas. I can see garland with white lights and red bows wrapped around the banister to go along with the smell of freshly baked cookies and carols playing from the living room.

  Even though Bodhi has given me the tour, I can find my way to only his room and back down to the kitchen and living room. We haven’t spent much time on the other side of the house, where there’s a library, a home theater, a gym, and his parents’ room. He did show me where Susan will live when she checks out of rehab. It’s a cute two-bedroom apartment attached to the house, and she’ll have access to the pool, along with her own private entrance. The apartment is in the process of getting a makeover in hopes that Susan’s children will be coming to visit.

  Children…yesterday I was such a fool to bring up kids. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I could tell that Bodhi didn’t want to talk about the subject. I don’t blame him. I don’t particularly want to talk about it either, but it’s something I think about often. I had a stupid plan when I was in college that I’d be married and starting a family by twenty-five. I wanted to be a young mother, but that plan is quickly falling by the wayside. “Dirty thirty” is looming, and I’m in love with a musician who doesn’t seem ready to settle down.

  When I reach the bottom step, I turn and take in the grand staircases. There are two, one on each side of the foyer, and I imagine myself walking down the steps in my wedding dress and meeting my dad here. It’s a fairy tale, I know, and one that I’ll keep to myself, at least until I tell Daphne how crazy I’m acting.

  Gabriela calls my name, grabbing my attention. I blush, because her smile tells me she’s caught me daydreaming. Does she imagine it too, her son getting married in their home and the bride walking down the stairs? Their house is perfect for an intimate gathering, and I have no doubt it would be decorated beautifully.

  “Are you ready?” she asks. Her Romanian accent is light but there. It couldn’t have been easy for her to come to the United States at such a young age and be thrust into the spotlight. She married Roger when they were both young, and by all accounts they’re extremely happy. It’s something to strive for.

  “I am.”

  I follow her out and into the waiting car. I half expect to see Natalie already inside, but she’s not.

  “Isn’t Natalie coming?”

  “She’ll meet us there,” she says as we climb in. Once the door shuts, Gabriela hands me a champagne glass of orange juice. “To our first women’s day.” We tap glasses and drink, and it’s only then that I find out it’s not just orange juice.

  “Whoa, I wasn’t expecting that.” I smack my lips, enjoying the taste, and decide to finish it off. I’m not working, nor do I have to drive anywhere, so I might as well enjoy myself. Gabriela does the same, then makes us another round of mimosas.

  Our car ride is short considering that the McKnights live only a few blocks from Rodeo Drive. We could’ve walked, but that’s probably out of the question for someone like Gabriela.

  The driver lets her out first and the frenzy is almost instant. Someone yells her name, but she ignores them as she reaches for my hand. My foot touches the cobblestone street, and I climb out. I’m so surprised at how small Rodeo Drive truly is. In all the movies, it’s so much grander.

  We walk into a store and find Natalie waiting for us. She meets us with another glass, but this time it’s only champagne. I fear by the time the event happens, I’ll be drunk and unable to support Bodhi in his first public appearance since leaving rehab.

  In a flash, Natalie and I are whisked away to the dressing rooms with an assortment of dresses. We’re shown everything from elegant to trendy to downright risqué. Gabriela insists that we try everything on, and with each dress comes another glass of champagne.

  Food is catered for us throughout the morning; we’re pampered, treated like royalty, and given everything we ask for. I finally narrow it down to three dresses and am having a hard time deciding. I know which one Gabriela likes, but I’m not sure if the formal, elegant look is right for tonight.

  I pull out my phone and call Bodhi, but by the fourth ring I’m losing hope he’s going to answer.

  “What’s wrong?�
� he asks, out of breath.

  “Nothing, I—”

  “I’m in the middle of rehearsal, Kim.”

  Bodhi is short with me, catching me off guard. I don’t know what to say and my thoughts fumble. “Never mind,” I say, pressing end to disconnect the call. The feeling of tears is instant, and I do everything I can to fight them off. The last thing I want is for his mom to see me crying and ask me what’s wrong.

  He calls me back immediately, but I ignore the call. I don’t have anything to say to him right now. Instead, I call Daphne to ask for her opinion.

  “Hi,” I whisper, trying to keep my voice down.

  “Why are you whispering?”

  “Because I’m in a dressing room and Bodhi’s very famous mother is on the other side of the door waiting for me to decide which dress I want for tonight and I tried to call him to see if there’s a theme or a vibe but he’s busy.”

  “He’s too busy for you?” I can hear the sarcasm in her voice, and I don’t like it.

  “What does the newly labeled girlfriend of Bodhi McKnight wear to an event like this?” I tell Daphne my options, and she asks me to try each one on and send her a picture of each, which I do.

  “Definitely the short one.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Hell yes, with heels. Just don’t make yourself taller than him.”

  I stare at the short black dress and wonder if she’s right. “Okay,” I concede, and promise to call her later. I come out of the dressing room with my choice hanging in front of me and can tell it’s not Gabriela’s favorite, but it is Natalie’s.

  “Bodhi is going to flip out when he sees you in that dress,” Natalie says.

  “I hope so.” Right now I’m not so sure. His brusque answer when I called has me second-guessing a lot of things right now. Which is crazy, I know. It’s just that I feel so insecure in his world, like I don’t belong or can’t compete with the onslaught of women who are vying for his attention. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that he chose me; it doesn’t quell the nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that there are others out there waiting to pounce on him. Waiting for their moment to shine in his arms.

  The car is there for us when we exit the store. The driver takes our bags and makes sure we’re settled before he shuts the door. Once again we’re treated to more champagne, and I’m feeling both a slight buzz and a recently developed headache. I thank Gabriela for the shopping trip, and she tells me with a smile that I’m very welcome.

  We drive about two blocks and stop. The same routine happens, with more fans yelling out her name. She doesn’t pay them any mind as we enter a salon. Just like at the boutique, we get food, drinks, and even more pampering.

  Our hair is done, manicure and pedicures complete, and makeup painted on to perfection. Never in my life have I done something like this.

  “Let me see you,” Gabriela says, spinning my chair toward her. “Simply beautiful. Bodhi better shave if he wants to have his picture taken next to you tonight.” She winks, and my heart plunges. He can’t shave! I absolutely adore his stubble.

  “Thank you.”

  “Why don’t you and Natalie try on your dresses? Let’s make sure your hair is perfect.”

  And just like that, the driver appears with our dresses. We’re ushered into the back room, where we change.

  “I don’t think Gabriela likes my dress,” I whisper to Natalie.

  “She probably doesn’t like the idea that it’s so short. I’m sure she’s thinking about her son and his less-than-clean mind.”

  Looking at myself in the mirror with my heels on and my hair and makeup done, I can sort of understand his mother’s point of view. The dress is short and the heels accentuate my legs. Knowing Bodhi, he’s going to have trouble keeping his hands off me.

  “You look hot, Kim.”

  “Thanks. So do you.” Natalie is dressed in a pink off-the-shoulder dress that stops at her knees. Mine barely covers my ass.

  “You’ll turn a lot of heads tonight. Be prepared,” she tells me. I’m not sure what that means, and before I can ask her, she’s out of the room. I follow quickly behind, and when I emerge, I hear a few gasps. I seek out Gabriela, hoping for her approval. The smile on her face tells me that she’s no longer upset by my choice of dress. Now here’s hoping that Bodhi likes it.

  It’s midafternoon by the time we’re done and pulling into the driveway of the McKnight mansion. The only thing I want to do is take a nap, but I can’t. Another instance that proves how easy it is to choose a stimulant drug in this industry. I never thought shopping on Rodeo Drive would be so tiring, but I was sorely mistaken. Between the drinks, the food, and the constant changing, I could sleep for the next eight hours. But Gabriela and Natalie look fresh and ready to go.

  I’m relieved once we step inside the house, but nervous as well. I’m still feeling uneasy about my phone call with Bodhi earlier and honestly don’t know how to proceed. Musicians are temperamental to begin with, but add in the recent stint at rehab and the possibility of a trigger and I might see a different side of Bodhi than I have so far. I don’t want to ruin his night, but I also don’t want to be on the receiving end of a negative attitude. If my being here is bothersome, he just has to tell me and I’ll go.

  “Bodhi,” I call as I enter his room.

  He comes out of the bathroom, fresh out of the shower.

  “Hi. Did you have fun?” He doesn’t smile or come over to greet me.

  I nod, biting the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from crying.

  “Are you happy with what you chose?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Your hair looks pretty.”

  “Thanks,” I say, and excuse myself so I can go get dressed. In the bathroom, I stand in front of the mirror and tell myself that he loves me, despite his attitude right now.

  When I come out of the bathroom I know I chose the right dress. Bodhi is slipping on his watch and is dressed in distressed jeans, combat boots, and a formfitting shirt. I’m reminded of my comment back at Serenity Springs about how he sometimes looks like James Dean.

  “Bodhi, you look…I’m not sure I know the right word. ‘Sexy’ and ‘hot’ seem like an understatement. I’m glad you’re not wearing a tuxedo, because I’d feel underdressed,” I say, breaking the ice.

  “I’ll take that as a compliment, but holy fuck,” he says once he takes a look at me. “Turn around.”

  I twirl to show off the back of the dress, and startle a bit when his hand lands on my ass.

  “Jesus Christ, Kim, are you trying to kill me?” he asks with a grin, letting his hand slip under my dress and over my bare ass until he’s grazing my core. His other hand pulls me back as he grinds his already hard dick into me. This wasn’t what I was going for, but I’m ecstatic about his reaction.

  “I bet my mom flipped when she saw this.”

  “What makes you say that?” I ask as I turn around in his arms.

  “Hmm,” he says, kissing my bare shoulder. “It’s short, sexy as fuck, and showing your shoulders. She likes to think of me as a kid sometimes and is probably wondering what the hell we’re doing up here.”

  “What are we doing, Bodhi?”

  He steps back and appraises me for a moment. “Well, we’re not fucking, but the only reason is because we have this stupid awards thing to go to.”

  I decide to take a chance. “You scared me earlier, the way you spoke to me.”

  Bodhi steps away, running his hand through his hair. It’s perfectly styled to match his outfit.

  “Stress, Kim. Rebel was on my ass, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

  All I hear is trigger.

  “You’re sure I’m not in the way?”

  His fiery eyes meet mine, and he stalks over to me, reaching out to clasp my arms firmly. “Don’t ever think that. You being here has kept me grounded. Knowing that you’re here with me keeps me solid, Kimberly. I need you.”

  “I need you too.”<
br />
  He takes my words wrong and waggles his eyebrows at me. “You know, if you bend over, I can fuck you and not even mess up your hair.”

  The thought excites me, but before I can answer, one of the staff calls him over the intercom, telling us that the car is here. He takes my hands in his and gives me a once-over. “Fucking killing me, Ms. Gordon. My dick is hurting already.”

  Chapter 22

  Bodhi

  Word must’ve traveled fast that my mother was seen today with someone who might possibly be my girlfriend, because as soon as we step out of the house the paparazzi are yelling my name and saying, “There she is.” The gate keeps them off the property, but they’re still close enough for us to hear and see, and they get the shot they need, which is me walking Kimberly to the car with my hand on her back.

  “Bodhi, new fling?” one of the paparazzi says before we enter the car. This makes Kim’s step falter, and I almost trip over her.

  “Keep moving forward,” I say to Kim. She does and reaches for my hand as she’s about to step into the car. From my vantage point I can see just enough of her ass, and while the thought appeals to me, it also puts me on high alert. I’m going to have to keep her away from the fuckheads tonight, and I wasn’t planning on having to do that.

  The car takes off, and the paparazzi rush up to the windows in hopes of getting a picture. I sort of like the attention, especially because it means the world will know that I’m off the market. Kim’s hand travels up my leg absentmindedly, causing my dick to strain against the buttons of my jeans. I take hold of her hand and place it on my crotch, getting her attention.

  “Bodhi!”

  “What?” I shrug and raise the privacy panel between us and the driver. “He can’t hear or see anything. Not to mention he works for my parents, so he won’t say anything. We could fuck in the car and he wouldn’t even know.”

  Never in my life have I seen someone as beautiful as Kimberly or been so aroused by a woman’s mere presence. She could wear a garbage bag as a dress and I’d find it sexy. Her short dress is molded to every curve of her body; her blond hair is curled to perfection and resting on her shoulders. I want to say fuck it and take her right now, but I don’t think she trusts that no one will see us. It’d be so easy to whip my dick out and have her sit on me. Fuck, even thinking about it has me engorged and needing a release.