If These Wings Could Fly
Page 24
Thank you, Kate Karyus Quinn and Mindy McGinnis, who plucked this story from their inbox and told me everything that was wrong with it. Thank you for answering a thousand questions, and for helping me muck through the hardest parts of writing it. Your humor, insight, and countless notes have made me better at this, and I’m so grateful for the time you gave to this story.
I’m also so thankful for my incredible agent, Suzie Townsend, and the entire, overwhelmingly supportive group at New Leaf. You make it feel like joining a family. Suzie, I think there were moments you believed in this book more than I did—thank you for being the greatest advocate a writer could hope for.
Thank you to my insightful editor, Ben Rosenthal, for reading this book so many times, and still loving it. Thank you for catching all of the strings I dropped and helping me weave them back into the story. Thank you to the rest of the team at Katherine Tegen Books for the warm welcome, and for lending your many incredible talents to this book.
To the writers of The Great Noveling Adventure—you created the first writing community I felt I belonged to. Thank you for helping me shape the first 1,000 words of this story. Jenny Perinovic, my fellow Pennsylvania Senator, I have no idea where I’d be without you. Thank you for the encouragement, the writing dates, and for being my friend. I’m so grateful.
Thank you to my high school English teachers and my college sociology professors. The former taught me how to find my voice, and the latter taught me how to use it. Thank you, Pat and Jill, for everything.
Thank you, Natalie, for being my dearest friend for almost twenty years. You’ve helped me navigate so many hard decisions. I’m so glad that I found, as Anne “with an e” would say, a kindred spirit. Adiah Wren, I hope you know how much I look up to you. Whenever I start to forget, you remind me that our voices matter so much. I can’t wait to read more of what you have to say. Jacqueline, thank you for being one of my earliest readers and earliest friends, and offering endless support from day one.
To my huge, wonderful family, extended and in-law included, you are the net that catches us. What an incredible gift it is to have the security of your love. I’ve never taken it for granted. A special thank you to Aunt Molly, for the Oreos and Gilmore Girls, and to Uncle Matt, for the Nintendo. Really, this is a thank you for showing up when you did—it meant the world. Grandmom McCauley, thank you for lending me your home, and your tenacious hope, when I needed them most. And thank you, Mom, for being my North Star. I’ll always look to you for guidance. Loved you first.
Kayleigh, thank you for answering my panicked phone calls, for being the first, fiercest advocate for this story, and for reading this book start to finish more times than I did. Thank you, Katharyn, for making me laugh so hard I cry. You two are my best friends in the world, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.
Finally, to Andrew. You treated this book (and all of my writing) like it was inevitable, and never the impractical, inconvenient dream I thought it was. Thank you for believing when I didn’t, and for chasing our little monster children around while I wrote. Thank you for being the first person I’ve turned to since we were sixteen years old, leaving Straylight Run lyrics on our AIM away messages for each other. I love waiting for the train with you.
Author’s Note
At its core, If These Wings Could Fly is a survival story. But instead of taking place on an island or lost in the wilderness and removed from human contact, this story takes place at the heart of it: in a small town, in a house that is shaped by domestic violence.
I wrote the book I would have liked to read when I was fifteen—when I didn’t know it was domestic violence. No one had ever described it that way, and I’d certainly never seen it in a book. As an adult, I turned to advocacy, volunteering at a domestic violence intake center, and studying the sociological roots of violence. But the more information I gained, the more fervently I wished I could share this hard-wrought knowledge with the version of me that needed it the most.
Then I realized that I don’t need time travel to find readers who need the message now. In writing a story that centered domestic violence, I knew that I had to show how the threat of violence hangs like a sword overhead, and how the fear can often feel worse than the fall. A story in which the thing you are afraid of looks very much like someone you love, and how confusing that can be. It makes domestic violence very difficult to navigate from the inside, and incredibly easy to misunderstand from the outside.
This story has some magic in it, too. I’ve always felt that there was something surreal about domestic violence, like it exists in this strange absence inside a home, where time slows down, and the outside world feels so far away. A parallel universe. In writing, I could make that feel tangible, in the form of an unkind house that hides signs of violence. It also meant that I could write in the rebuttal—in the form of a magical force of a hundred thousand crows who arrive to protect the girls. My goal was always to tell this story through the lens of hope, and to pass the urgency of that hope on to a reader who needs it most.
Resources
There are many wonderful organizations working to raise awareness, provide leadership in legislation, and offer support and information for victims of domestic violence. Below is a list of resources related to advocacy and safety planning. Please keep in mind that abusers can track your browsing history. Only access these websites from a safe device and location.
The Hotline: The National Domestic Violence Hotline has trained advocates available 24/7/365 to answer calls and provide information and resources. The website has a live chat feature to message with an advocate, an escape button if you need to quickly exit, and Spanish translation.
www.thehotline.org
1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Love is Respect: Highly trained advocates offer information and support for young people experiencing dating violence. Also provides resources for concerned family members, friends, teachers, counselors, service providers, or members of law enforcement. Free and confidential phone and texting services, available 24/7. This website has an escape button, live chat feature, and Spanish translation.
www.loveisrespect.org
1-866-331-9474
1-866-331-8453 (TTY)
Text: “loveis” to 22522
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: Education, advocacy, policy, and resources related to domestic violence. Hosts “Action Alerts” to help users engage in policy action calls related to domestic violence legislation and VAWA renewal, including graphics and suggested language to use on social media to raise awareness and call political figures to action.
www.ncadv.org
About the Author
Photo by Brittany Frisch
KYRIE McCAULEY has always been a storyteller. She has also been a waitress, nanny, singer in a band, ACLU intern, rally organizer, Truman Scholar, and most recently, a mother and a writer. She holds an MS in social policy from the University of Pennsylvania. She lives near Philadelphia with her husband, family, and too many cats. You can visit Kyrie at www.kyriemccauley.com.
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Copyright
Katherine Tegen Books is an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.
IF THESE WINGS COULD FLY. Copyright © 2020 by Kyrie McCauley. Bird Illustrations copyright @ 2020 Vladimir Ceresnak / Shutterstock. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitt
ed, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
www.epicreads.com
Cover art and design by David Curtis
Cover © 2020 by HarperCollins Publishers
* * *
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: McCauley, Kyrie, author.
Title: If these wings could fly / Kyrie McCauley.
Description: First edition. | New York, NY : Katherine Tegen Books, [2020] | Summary: In Auburn, Pennsylvania, a farming community overrun with crows, high school senior Leighton struggles to keep herself and her sisters safe from their abusive father even as she starts a relationship.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019021411 | ISBN 978-0-06-288502-9 (hardcover)
Subjects: | CYAC: Family problems—Fiction. | Sisters—Fiction. | High schools—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. | Crows—Fiction. | Supernatural—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.M42213 If 2020 | DDC [Fic]—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019021411
* * *
Digital Edition MARCH 2020 ISBN: 978-0-06-288504-3
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-288502-9
2021222324PC/LSCH10987654321
FIRST EDITION
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