Full-Time Father

by Susan Mallery

He turned his head until he was looking at her. “I know that. I was thinking about the biology. Genetically, aren’t you more her mother than her aunt?”

  “I’m not sure.” She frowned. “I suppose I am. Identical twins share DNA. In theory I guess I could be her genetic mother.”

  Which raised another interesting theory. If she and Parker had a child together, they could have one exactly like Christie. Of course the odds were against it, but next time she couldn’t sleep, she would mull it over in her mind. It sounded more interesting than counting sheep.

  She reached for her wine.

  “Did you legally adopt Christie?” he asked.

  Her hand froze in midair as a shiver raced down her spine. “Why do you want to know?”

  His mouth softened with concern. He stretched out his arm and grabbed her hand. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was curious not probing. I swear I have no plans to kidnap Christie or sue for custody.”

  His fingers squeezed hers. Awareness coursed through her easing away the fear. She liked the feel of him holding her hand. Foolishly it made her feel safe. She settled her gaze on his chest, watching the rise and fall from his breathing.

  “I overreacted,” she said. “I think it’s this situation. Even though I tried to plan for everything, it’s still very strange to be here with you, to watch you with Christie.”

  He gave her fingers a final squeeze, then released her. “She loves you. Nothing can change that.”

  “I know. Christie has a big heart. She could love the world.” In the distance the little girl laughed and tossed her beach ball in the air.

  “Robin and I talked about having children. We met in high school. We were both computer nerds back before it was popular.” One corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “Everyone thought she was kind of goofy looking, but I thought she was pretty.”

  A lock of dark hair fell across his forehead. She itched to push it in place. Instead she curled her fingers toward her palm and willed herself to pay attention to his story. Maybe if he talked about his late wife enough, she, Erin, would stop being so attracted to him.

  “We went to the same college. She was brilliant.”

  “What were you?”

  His half smile turned into a grin. “Merely smart.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “It’s true. Robin thought like a computer. We started the company and were wildly successful. Then one day she didn’t feel well.” His eyes fluttered closed.

  Erin wondered what he was remembering, then figured it was better that she didn’t know. She stared across the sand to where Christie was digging for crabs. The waves rushed in and filled her handiwork. She sat back on her heels and laughed.

  “It took the doctor a while to figure out what was wrong. Finally they diagnosed amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Lou Gehrig’s disease,” he added, before she could ask.

  “How horrible. For both of you. But-” She frowned. She knew Robin had been dead for several years. “It’s ultimately fatal, but I thought it moved slowly.”

  “You mean it shouldn’t have killed her yet?” His voice was harsh.

  “Yes,” she said softly.

  “You’re right. It shouldn’t have. Robin got the flu. It turned into pneumonia and she died of that.”

  He still hadn’t opened his eyes. She couldn’t read his expression, but she felt his pain. And his guilt. But why would he feel guilty? He couldn’t have prevented her from dying. He wasn’t a medical expert.

  “How long has it been?” she asked, vaguely remembering he’d mentioned it yesterday but not recalling the exact amount of time that had passed.

  “Just over five years. She died in April. It was the same year your sister was here as a programming intern.” He raised his hand to his face and rubbed his forehead. “I should have canceled the program. I wasn’t in any shape to help those kids. But I knew they’d given up lucrative summer jobs to come here and work with me. In a way, I thought it might help me recover. I was wrong.”

  Erin sucked in a breath. “You loved her very much.”

  He opened his eyes and stared at her. “Yes.” I still do. He didn’t say the words but she heard them.

  The last confusing pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Stacey had fallen for the emotionally tragic Parker. He had been her dark prince personified. With her need to create the most drama in a situation, Stacey could have inflated all kinds of half-truths into what she wanted to believe. She had been ripe for romance and Parker had fulfilled her every fantasy. Except one. He had never even known she was alive.

  Her throat tightened painfully. The situation had been a disaster waiting to happen. If only Stacey had told her what was going on. She might have been able to help her. Erin sighed. She was wishing for the moon. Stacey wouldn’t have wanted to hear the truth. She was more interested in her romantic fantasies.

  But if she had contacted Erin, maybe Stacey wouldn’t have died.

  “I’m sorry,” Parker said.

  Erin blinked at him, trying to figure out what he was apologizing for. Surely he couldn’t read her mind. He set his wineglass on the blanket, then sat up.

  “I didn’t mean to dump all that on you,” he said.

  “It’s okay.”

  “For some reason you’re easy to talk to.”

  The compliment made her want to smile. “Maybe because we’re strangers,” she said. “I’m safe.”

  “Possibly. And I’ve been hiding out here too long. Maybe I have become a recluse.”

  No problem, Erin thought. He was a recluse, and she was turning into her sister. She’d wanted to grin like a fool because he told her she was easy to talk to. Now she was crushed because he practically told her it was because she was convenient. Anyone would have done. Get a grip!

  He rose to his feet. “I’ll try not to be a self-centered bore,” he promised.

  “Gee, what kind of bore will you be?”

  He grinned. Her heart shifted into overdrive.

  “An entertaining bore.” With that he sprinted down the beach toward Christie.

  Erin watched him go. Sunlight gleamed on his dark hair and he moved with the loose-hipped grace of a natural athlete. He was far too handsome for her peace of mind. Thank goodness she was the sensible Ridgeway twin. If she wasn’t, she might be in danger of falling for him, and the last thing she needed was a broken heart.

  Chapter Seven

  Parker pulled his Mercedes into the spacious garage that had originally been built to store both automobiles and carriages. He grabbed his bulging briefcase and headed for the main house. By the time he hit the grass-lined path, he’d already loosened his tie and was in the process of pulling it off. There was a time when dabbling in the corporate world had been interesting and new but today the meetings had interfered with his limited time with Christie.

  He jogged the last couple of feet, then stepped into the kitchen. Kiki was simmering chili for dinner. The spicy fragrance tempted him, but he hurried past without stopping to taste.

  It had been a week since Erin had shown up on his doorstep with her wild tales about a child that belonged to him. A week since he’d first met Christie and she came into his life. A week of seeing in color, instead of in black-and-white.

  “I’m back,” he called when he stepped into the empty living room.

  “We’re on the terrace,” Kiki said.

  He followed her voice and found his housekeeper and Erin sitting on chaise lounges and talking.

  After a couple of weeks of summerlike weather, the temperature had dropped fifteen degrees and the fog had rolled in. For the past three days the mornings had been gray and misty, and the afternoons not much above sixty-five degrees. Erin wore a fuzzy blue sweater and black jeans. He ignored the curve of her breasts and long lines of her legs. Since that first night when he’d kissed her and experienced a reaction that had left him stunned and the next day when he’d squeezed her hand and had to fight painful arousal, he’d avoided any physical contact with her. He
’d been pleasant and accommodating, but he’d refused to touch her. If he didn’t look or touch he wouldn’t do something stupid, such as get interested. So far the plan was working.

  “How was your meeting?” Kiki asked. She was in one of her jogging suits. This one was white with a trail of butterflies up one leg and across the jacket. What amazed him the most was the tiny butterflies on her athletic shoes.

  “The meeting was too long,” he said. “But we got everything accomplished. I shouldn’t have to go back for about a month.” He glanced around the terrace. “Where’s Christie?”

  Kiki raised her pale eyebrows. “Come join us, Parker. We were talking about vacations. You haven’t had one in a long time. Sit. You might learn something.”

  “Yeah, maybe next time.” He glanced around the terrace one more time, then stepped toward the living room. “Christie?”

  Erin took pity on him. “She’s upstairs playing.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re quite smitten, Parker,” Kiki said.

  “She’s my kid. I’m supposed to be.”

  He met Erin’s gaze. A flash of understanding connected them. Her mouth curved in a smile, exposing the dimple in her right cheek. Without the bright sunlight to highlight the red in her shoulder-length hair, the color was a dull brown. He supposed she wasn’t especially beautiful, but he didn’t mind. She was generous with his daughter’s time, allowing him to be with Christie as much as he wanted, and he was grateful for that. She was a nice person. Her only request was that he treat her daughter well. An easy enough task.

  “When’s dinner?” he asked.

  “Six o’clock.” Kiki glanced at her watch. “You’ve got an hour and a half.”

  He was in the living room before she finished speaking. He left his briefcase and tie on the floor and started up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

  “Christie? I’m home.”

  “Daddy!” Christie barreled out of his office. They met on the second-floor landing.

  He caught her before she crashed into his legs. With a quick lift, he had her up in the air and circling around like an airplane.

  “Can you fly?” he asked.

  She laughed loudly. “I’m a birdie.”

  One arm supported her chest, the other her hips. “I thought you’d want to be a jet.”

  She shook her head. “Birdies are pretty. Planes smell bad.”

  Interesting logic. “What have you been doing while I was gone?” He drew her to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and put her hand on his shoulder. The trust inherent in the gesture made his knees weak. He’d only known this child for a week, yet she believed in him and knew that he would never hurt her. She’d accepted him with the innocence of one who has never been betrayed. Every time he was with her, he swore he would die before causing her a moment’s pain.

  “Mommy and Kiki took me to the store today,” she said. “We had lunch out, too.” She grinned. “I had an ice cream for dessert.”

  He touched the stains on her red T-shirt. “Chocolate, I’ll bet.”

  Her soft giggle made him smile. “You’re so funny, Daddy.”

  “What else have you been doing?”

  “I’ll show you.” She wiggled to get down.

  He lowered her to the floor and she headed for his office. Once in the doorway she turned back and motioned for him to follow. “Come on, Daddy. Come see.”

  His office was long with his computer work station at one end and a good-size library of technical manuals at the other. In between was a small sitting area. The far wall was windows. Christie had pulled most of the cushions off the furniture to create a private world. She knelt down on the floor and pointed to the jumble of cushions.

  “This is the castle,” she said. She picked up her doll Millie, whose everyday dress had been replaced by something fancy and long. “This is Princess Amdromada.”

  “Amdromada?” He squatted beside her.

  “Uh-huh. She’s very beautiful, and she has a handsome prince, only he’s busy right now. There’s a terrible dragon who wants Princess Amdromada for himself.” She pointed to a floor lamp she’d dragged over from the far corner. “He’s very dangerous. The princess has to be careful.”

  “Why is the prince busy?”

  Christie considered that for a moment. “He just is. Sometimes princes have a lot to do.”

  How much of this was pretend and how much from her life? She and her mother lived alone. According to Erin, Christie had wanted a father for a long time. “Do you think the prince has forgotten about her?”

  She stared at him, her brown eyes wide and troubled. “Princes don’t forget.”

  “Does the prince know about his princess?”

  “He should,” she said firmly. “Princes should know everything.”

  Parker wondered if daddies were supposed to know everything, too. “Will the princess forgive the prince when he finally comes back?”

  Christie thought for a moment. “If he promises to never go away again, she will.”

  But he wasn’t going to be able to make that promise, Parker thought grimly. In seven days, Erin would take Christie back to Palmdale and he wouldn’t see his child again for weeks. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be without her.

  He rose to his feet and held out his hand. “Would you like to see a different castle with a prince and a dragon?”

  “Sure.” She clutched his fingers.

  He led her to his computer, then sat in the chair and booted the system. Christie trustingly climbed into his lap. “It’s a program!”

  “Yes. Something new. The recommended age is seven to ten, but you’re very smart so we’ll give it a try.”

  Christie beamed at him. “You’re very smart, too.”

  “Thank you.”

  She leaned against his chest and stared at the screen. “Oh, it’s beautiful,” she said as the colorful shimmering castle appeared.

  “The princess has been stolen by the evil dragon who takes her all over the world. The prince has clues and has to use them to find his princess. He must ask questions, battle against wizards and do good deeds for points.”

  “I like it,” she said.

  “It still has a few problems to be worked out,” he said. “But it’s a pretty good program.” A business associate had asked Parker to look the software over. The company had been forced to do some reworking when he’d pointed out having the prince rescue the princess was a little sexist for the nineties. They should let the princess do the rescuing every now and then.

  He rolled the chair closer, then grabbed the mouse and slid it along the pad until the arrow pointed to the word Begin.

  “First the dragon crossed an ocean,” he read. “We have to pick an ocean.” A map of the world appeared.

  “Pacific Ocean!” she said loudly. “’Coz it’s so pretty.”

  “Pacific it is.” He moved the mouse and clicked. The screen changed.

  Slowly he and Christie worked their way toward saving the princess. Her bright chatter made him smile and her silly jokes allowed light in the darkness of his soul. Once again he realized their time together was half over. What was going to become of him when she was gone?

  Sometimes when he was with her, he wondered what it would have been like if he and Robin had had children. Would a child have given her the will to survive? Would a child have given him a reason to go on or would he have destroyed that innocent being the same way he’d destroyed his wife?

  At least Christie was safe from him. Erin was strong. She would protect her daughter, keeping her safe from all that threatened Christie, even if that meant keeping her away from him. He admired that about Erin. She had done what she had to do for Christie. She didn’t complain, she just got the job done.

  It was as if his thoughts conjured her from thin air. Suddenly she was standing in the doorway to the office.

  “Christie, it’s time to wash up for dinner.”

  “We’re rescuing the princess. She
needs me.”

  “The princess will still be here after dinner, or even tomorrow,” he said. “Look, I can save the game in progress.” He showed her how to move the arrow, then click the command. When the screen had returned to the main menu, he swiveled the chair around and let Christie slide off his lap.

  “I want to play again,” Christie said as she skipped toward her mother.

  “I’m sure you will.” Erin gave him a weary smile. “I did warn you she was a handful.”

  “She’s worth it,” he said.

  “You’re right.” She touched her daughter’s shoulder. “Did you say thank you?”

  Christie smiled shyly. “Thank you for playing with me.”

  “You’re welcome. I enjoyed it, too.”

  The little girl dashed toward the stairs. Erin glanced after her, then returned her attention to him. “You were worried about getting along with her, but it’s not so hard.”

  “You’re right. I’ve enjoyed having her here.”

  “She’s had a great time, too. See you at dinner.” She followed Christie to the stairs.

  Parker watched her go. He found himself studying the gentle swaying of her hips. By now he’d grown used to the low level awareness he felt whenever she was around. If he didn’t touch her or get too close, he could keep it under control.

  What surprised him was the more he was around Erin, the more he remembered Stacey. Or maybe it wasn’t all that startling. After all, they were twins. But he didn’t see their similarities as much as he saw their differences.

  He remembered Stacey being intense and emotional. Erin was as bright as her sister, although in a different way. She didn’t converse knowledgeably about computer programming, but she was well-read. Her quirky humor often made him laugh in spite of himself. If not for that damn awareness, he would be perfectly comfortable around her.

  He turned his chair until he was facing his computer screen again. He could go back to work on that program that was giving him so much trouble. He reached for the mouse, then pushed it away. He still didn’t have the solution so there was no point in wasting time. What he needed was a flash of brilliance. What he needed was Robin.